Life's been really tough lately.

I've not really had any time to myself. First off, my grades are terrible at this point in time. I barely got through the first quarter with acceptable grades and I don't know if I can pull it off the second quarter. It's not that my classes are hard, I have amazing capacity for learning, it's just my stress has really shot down my motivation into the ground. Then again, it's my last year of high school, so whatever happens now can't be as bad as if it happened last year or the year before. I guess that's comforting.

My girlfriend got hospitalized recently. She got a really bad fever which wouldn't go away and lots of pain around her tailbone. When she went to the hospital for it, the doctors found out she had developed a cyst on her lower back which was threatening to kill her if it got bad enough, or if it turned tumorous. The chance wasn't too high but living with my extreme anxiety and paranoia makes it hard for me to believe that. She's got through the worst part now though and she's able to come to school and go to her job again. There's a chance that it will come back but for now all I can do is hope for the best.

I'm trying to find a job. I guess I don't really NEED it right now but I'd very much appreciate one and I will actually NEED it shortly in the future. I want money, not to spend, but to invest in moving out. My mother makes my life so much more stressful than it has to be and I'm trying to just leave and live with my girlfriend who's also trying to move out of her house ASAP. I also need a car if I want to get around to my job and my future university, which I'm going to be attending next year if all goes well.

Due to all the aforementioned reasons I had to step down. Sorry for disappearing without saying anything. I didn't even say anything to my superior, I just told him to demote me. Maybe I'll come back another day, but I doubt anytime soon.

Overall? I guess I've felt worse mentally before but I've had literally no time to just lay down and relax lately. Not like I really can even if I could since my anxiety has been showing up a lot lately, which definitely doesn't help my stress levels at all, but it's not like I want to kill myself which I have felt in the past. I don't really want to go into detail about my anxiety though, I don't like looking weak. It's a personal thing.

Thanks for understanding guys. As much as I might not want to admit it, I do miss being around here and I'll definitely come back in full force eventually.

Minuano : We understand....do what you need to do. I had a feeling it was something to do with this. Remember life comes first when you are ready to come back then do so. I know some people will miss your presence here as well, but I hope they can understand too. Go and take care of yourself, and do what needs to be done. Don't worry about vizzed.

I was wondering what happened to you. I saw you go to Elite all of a sudden but you never seemed to be around.

Hopefully everything gets figured out for you so that life can become more manageable again.

It's sad to see things are going so difficult for you... I've also had those times were bad news came in a cluster, and you get incredibly anxious for everything to end and turn out for the best. If even the lazy me can get anxious, I can't imagine how much harder it can be for someone already suffering stress or anxiety by himself.

Vizzed can wait, take as much time as you need to sort out your life. You're at a troublesome age, I know it by experience. I hope the best for you two.

Minuano : having to leave Viz because of any personnel problems is totally understandable Viz will always be here to welcome you back whenever you are ready to return,I myself also have a few friends on my friend,s list who have left but sometimes that,s the way life goes we have to put ourselves first ahead of Viz and while I don,t know you I have seen your name here a few times,I wish you the best and I hope that things will eventually get better for you

Minuano : I understand why you made this decision. No website is worth ignoring the more important things in life, and it sounds like you had far more important things to worry about than this site. I just hope that the situation improves.

Oh wow...I'm so sorry you're going through all of that, man. I knew about bits and pieces of that though. You are a real trooper for making it through any one of those things, let alone persevering through all of it at once.

Vizzed can definitely take the backburner. I hope things get better for you, man. I'll be praying for you.

Sorry about the issues you are having Hope they get better for you soon and that you can come back very soon so you can continue to dazzle us with your magic uh, I mean posts yeah, that's what I meant.