The sorry poem.

I’m sorry if I couldn’t be a stronger person.
I’m sorry if I wanted to give up many times.
I’m sorry if I were selfish.
I’m sorry if I wanted to abandon you many times.

I’m sorry if I couldn’t understand you.
I’m sorry if I were rude to you.
I’m sorry if I were a bastard to you.
I’m sorry if I treated you bad anytime.

I’m sorry if I made you feel I didn’t like you anymore.
I’m sorry if I gave you the feeling I didn’t care for you anymore.
I’m sorry if I couldn’t have been a better person to you.
I’m sorry if I gave you the feeling I only cared for myself.

I’m sorry if I wanted to commit suicide many times.
I’m sorry if I questioned God.
I’m sorry if I didn’t trust him.
I’m sorry if I can’t see clearly yet why he chose me.

(Mostly for Vizzed)
I’m sorry if I couldn’t reach the Staff quota this month.
I’m sorry if I got angry because I lost the Name that Game contest.
I’m sorry if I bothered you with many threads about my life.
I’m sorry if I wanted to abandon you.

Because I am not an evil person.
Like many people out there,
I have feelings.
And all I want, is the best for all the world.


Many things was getting to my head again, I were not patient and all that, but don't worry, I only left yesterday because I needed a break, to calm down a bit, I read your Pm throughly, and now I am answering here.
No, this didn't I didn't thought on suicide, I only wanted to try to take a break from Internet, to calm down a little bit.
I have posted on Skype (some users on Vizzed saw it) I would leave it for a week, due to lack of activity, the impossibility of me hosting a mafia game to the brazilian people, because I were bothered by Vizzed facts, and etc; But then, after talking, more like being rude to Singelli, I knew I couldn't stay on Vizzed until I got things sorted up, and with that, I made the poem above, I also shared this with Skype people, some were worried, some probably didn't care to read it, and one of them put some common sense into me "No one -censored- cares! Go out and do living! About 0,00001% people care about your angst poems!" In a sense he is right, I have to get off this chair and get a job, but I have quite a good amount of friends who care for me, so his comment is 50% right.
Yes, I want to try to get a job, in a supermarket near me, my father knows the owner of it, maybe if he talked with him, maybe he could recommend me to work there, it may not be the best job in the world, but it's a start, but I am currently unable to do it, since my father is not even here right now, so it would be best if I talked with him tonight, ask him to write a letter or take me to the market so he talk with the owner.
Yes, I have read your PMs fully, and here what was going on: Depression strikes again, I'm alright now, but this will surely try to attack me later, so I need to do something about this ASAP, and no, the thought of suicide didn't come to my mind this time, I only wanted to take a break from Internet, and it seems it did good to me.
One of the things that also bothered me, if the fact I were a sore loser about losing the Name that Game contest, and because I will probably not be able to reach the non-determined Staff quota this month, I mean, I hardly did a thing, only tested 3 games or two, but I removed quite some bad comments from the RGR, so this is a good thing, but not enough, so all of these things keep stacking up into my mind, and more worried do I get.

For this, I am not only apologizing to my friends, but to the whole Vizzed, apologize for being such a stupid selfish bastardly guy, if you don't want to forgive me, it's okay, I deserve this anyway.

Singelli :
Totts :
play4fun :
Light Knight :
Jordanv78 :
geeogree :
mrfe :
earthwarrior :
megamanmaniac :
mvhupsel :
Eddy88 :
patar4097 :
sonikku :
Blue_Rose88 :
Tails the Fox :
Darkpower508 :
Eniitan :
james44028 :

Everyone is selfish. Stop beating yourself up for being selfish.

Apology accepted and I forgive you for any insult, harm or whatever you may have committed here. I've never had a problem with you personally. I don't really understand what is going on in your life but I hope you can get through it.

Something I learned (I don't remember when) is that happiness only comes from within. It doesn't depend on circumstances or the people around you. You can be happy in spite of bad things happening or things not going your way. It's all about choosing to be happy and appreciating what you have rather than looking at what you wish you had. If you aren't happy with what you have now you won't be happy when you get the thing you think you want.



That's my little rant. I hope it made sense. Don't give up. You have a bunch of people here ready to support you.

Every body is selfish, most peoples first instinct is about themselves, a human without fault is not a human at all, the fact that you could see these things in your self shows that you want to be good and that you are a good person. People who are truly selfish who has no thought about others what so ever would be in denial and wouldn't even thin about apologising.

As you probably gathered I don't know you but I can tell by your post that you are willing to turn over a new leaf and become who you truly want to be.

Yesterday is history and out of our control, today is what makes us who we are, tomorrow is for us to decide.

I see no need to apologizing, at least not to me. As geeo said, everyone is selfish so you don't need to feel sorry for it. It's a part of everyone, just to different extents, it is still a part of everyone nevertheless, either good or bad person.

Also, seeing as how you brought up the topic of Depression, I'd like to give my 2 cents. For years now, I've been suffering from depression and other disorders that I don't think are necessary mentioning. I take medications for all that. What I've learnt from experience is, You shouldn't let depression take over like that, you need to take the control of your life and the decisions you make, you can't think of depression as something that "take over" otherwise you're giving up to it already. I've learn't to look on depression as a hindrance, an obstacle, that's there to get in my way and try to make me fail, just like a lot of things in life do. I haven't got over my own depression, but this has helped keeping me alive many times when suicide seemed to make sense. I would also like to say that when I chose to accept help from a Psychologist and Psychiatrist, by accepting I had a problem that I wasn't being able to take care of, things became somewhat easier to handle. I had a problem in accepting that because of my ego, I didn't want to accept I had problems I couldn't take care of by myself, plus deep inside me, I would look at that as accepting I was crazy, which was a stereotype that was a reflex of living alongside people that think like that for too long. Until I realized that the current situation I was and the decisions I was making, weren't doing me any good, in fact, only the opposite. By then, I got a diagnosis for some things I wouldn't expect, but also started a treatment that still goes on, I also started taking medications to help on it. For me, those have helped a lot, many times, without the bad consequences my past choices used to bring.

I won't go rambling my own problems any longer, nor will I try to determine reasons for your depression, or say that you are just like me or anything like that, I just wanted to share a bit of how I handle my own depression, hoping that it can help you somehow. 

I also won't dwell into religion here, but if it helps you, it's a good thing, just don't let despair take over your decisions regarding that subject, is all I would like to say. Despair isn't good in any circumstance.

I honestly hope for the best man.

Cheers.

Seishiro Leonhart :  You don't need to say sorry because everyone here are forgiving you for all what you did.
Everyone makes mistakes even me.
I always want to help you if you have problems.

Don't be depressive, it isn't need to be!
If you don't give up you'll always win! ~ (Never Give UP!)

You weren't rude to me Seishiro.  If anything, I was rough with you.  You concerned me and I was worried about what you might do. I'm not going to apologize for one reason:  I hope you see that doing what you suggested to me, would be a very, very, very bad idea.  It would hurt a great deal of people very much. I hope that whatever you're going through, you can heal and realize that many people love you.  Although you might not know us as closely as you'd like, we ARE here, and we ARE a part of your life.  You share everything with us, and we can't help but get emotionally attached.

Please, for our sakes.  Heal.  Do what it takes, but heal.  We love you, your family loves you, and as I told you yesterday, God loves you.  Nobody ever said life would be easy.  It's HARD.  But  for every day that we suffer depression, affliction, or dissatisfaction, we become a better and stronger, and deeper person. Try not to focus so much on the present, but ever, ceaselessly glance into the future.  You don't know what's out there.... why miss it?

Let me repeat Seishiro.  We love you.  There's no need for forgiveness, because there's nothing to apologize for.

firstly, its ok to make mistakes. its what makes us human.i know for a fact that anyone you were ever mean to... when looking at this they would burst into tears and forgive you. Seishiro.... you know that if these people are your friends... they will always forgive you.you got that? i also hope you can overcome everything that is going bad with you, even know it may be hard. your my friend, and a good one at that. as singelli said.. there is no need to apologize.

 

It's perfectly fine, everyone has their moments where they just lose it, become angry/selfish/mean whatever, and I'm sure not everyone is proud of it. Don't beat yourself up on it, it's fine. We know you're going through a rough patch and we're still here to help you get back on your feet ^u^

I accept your apology, we're still friends. :3

You weren't rude to us, in my opinion. Sure, what you said was saddening, but we were probably too harsh with you in return. I only sent you that pm because I care about you, and want you to realize that. Many people do.

God bless.

For one thing, you weren't rude to me. If anything, you've been the opposite. You are one of the nicest and most sincere guys on this site, no question about it. You're a true bro, who's chill and can beat me at Bomberman (yeah I still remember that).

Secondly, you're not selfish. You are very kind and unselfish, willing to share viz, advice, helpful tips, and many other things with many members of the site. Refusing to help from time to time doesn't necessarily make you selfish, especially if you have alot going on in your life already.

Third, you aren't annoying. Your threads are your way of expressing how you feel. You summon the people who you connect with and could provide you with compassion and support. Sure, some people may not like to be summoned so many times, but that doesn't mean they don't care.

Finally, losing your cool doesn't make you evil. Everyone gets angry, depressed, tired; they are natural human emotions that you're supposed to experience. It doesn't make you evil. It doesn't make God love you any less. It's just a way for you to express how you feel and what you are experiencing, a God given gift if you will.

Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, it's what makes us human. If we could do no wrong, wouldn't we be God? As humans, we are allowed to make mistakes; it's just our job to try and learn from our mistakes and adjust. Being selfish and angry at times doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you human.

There's no reason for you to apologize because you've done nothing wrong...well to me (unless you count beating me in Super Bomberman 3).

Seishiro come on we are all ur frens here

lol i think thats a little long for a poem (laughs)

You are not a bastardly guy.

You are a good friend to me, and to many people here. There is no need to feel so sorry, you have only been a kind hearted person here.

Focus on what you can do with your life, not what you can't or didn't do.

You are not a bad person or anything like that. Everyone has these kinds of days and everyone is selfish, there is no need for you to point it out and beat yourself up for it, we all know how this feels, but we also know that it will get better.


I may not know you that well, but I can't stand to see you like this, we all have these dark depressing times that drain all of the life out of us and make us feel like life isn't worth living, you can get through it, just wait, you will see, things will get better! If you give up, you won't only let yourself down, but you will let us down, we are here for this reason...to help you to help you recover and get through this. Just promise us one thing, don't give up hope...don't, things will get better and there is a brighter future that lies ahead of you, don't throw it all away, we are all imperfect and selfish, even the best of us, you are no different, but don't beat yourself up about it. Just do whatever it takes to get through this and to recover from it.

Wait, bastardly? You've always been nice and kind to me. D: We have those days when we aren't in the mood to talk and we end up being rude, but that doesn't mean that we're bad. People commit mistakes, become sad, and it's normal.