Yesterday was the kind of day I really needed to have, and it was filled with amazing feelings that I need to have more often.

It started off with a bang. I had to wake up really early (7AM) which is always exciting for me unless it's for school. Then my mom had to take me to the church I attend youth group at. (It's not my home church, I just attend youth group there thanks to one of my friends) We got there and met up with the rest of the youth group to go over what our morning would be like.

It was the post-mission trip service day, so we youth had to stay for all 3 services and wear our shirts from the trip. For those who never read about my trip in a thread I posted, it was a trip to Chicago to run a 5-hour daycare program (and I mean, run it) for a week.

What happened in all 3 services was basically this: our youth group's pastor did a quick message, we sang some songs, and we youth all went up onto the stage and shared small stories of our experience in the daycare program. Each service was better than the last (even though they were almost identical) and we youth kept getting better at our public speaking, even those of us that were shy or nervous about it. My mom was there to support us for 2 of the services (along with my grandma for one of those), and my dad was there to support me for the other service.

It was amazing hearing all my fellow youth group people share their stories, and sharing a story myself. I was nervous and shaky for the first time, but I got better. It wasn't even noticeable though since I talked loudly, kept a normal posture, and smiled when I told my funny story.

I didn't even need my parents to be there, but they came anyway to support not just me, but all of us. I really got into the worship songs, and everything else.

Afterward, my mom and I went out to eat and then went shopping. (Boo, shopping! I've never liked it that much XD) I stayed home for a couple hours and had dinner, then I went to youth group. It was held at the house of one of the adults that helps out with the youth group.

It was a bonfire! Some people that are now in college, and have been for a year or two, were there. They used to go to the youth group when they were high schoolers, and when I was a middle schooler. It was also the night we said our goodbyes to the high school seniors who will be entering college this year. We took a picture down by the river (the hosts of tonight's youth group live near a river, how cool is that?) We also played games for a while and just talked by the bonfire.

Next we said our goodbyes to the seniors, shared memories of them, and prayed for them. After that we played more games but I got involved this time (last time  I missed it because me and the people who took me there ran a little late). When the people who took me to youth group (my friend and his family) needed to leave, I asked them to wait because I had something to say to the seniors.

Instead of saying it earlier like everyone was supposed to, I had to say it then because I finally knew what God was leading me to say to them. So my friend's mom asked them to go over to me so I could say it.

It took a lot of bravery for me to do this, since I've always been shy. I told them everything I wanted to say, that despite me not talking to them much I'd miss them a lot and that I really enjoyed spending so much time around them in youth group for the past few years. That went even better than I'd expected, instead of getting all shy and forgetting things I wanted to say, I just said it no matter how scared I was. Then something unexpected happened: most of the seniors looked like they wanted to cry (especially since I'd barely said a word to them in 2+ years) and they all gave me hugs.

After having a not-so-happy week, not being able to see my friends much and one of my best friends not being able to do much since his grandpa passed away, I had overcome my shyness and given a heartfelt goodbye to people I hadn't even talked to much previously, and I had a very productive day and felt spiritually filled. Ever since that moment where I spoke to the seniors and got goodbye hugs from them, I've felt like a much better person. I've also felt more confident, especially when it comes to my social life.

Yesterday made me think a lot about how far the youth group has pushed me socially and spiritually over the years. Without them, I might still be having many social problems and not be as close to God as I am. I'm hoping that my best friends will feel the same way soon. I just began inviting them to youth group this year. My best friend after only a few weeks of going to that youth group has already wanted to thank me for inviting her to youth group, and my other friend for inviting me many years ago. I've seen her grow socially and spiritually, and it's very powerful.

My moment of talking to the seniors has been stuck in my head ever since it happened, and as sad as it makes me that I might not be seeing those wonderful and inspirational people again, I'm also happy about me speaking up and them going off to college right away.

Only 3 years to go until I'm in their shoes. I should make those years last in my memories and keep making outstanding friends like I've been on fire with for the past year.

PacmanandMariofan : It is good that you could get your true feelings out there and speak to those seniors. I might have never had the courage to say all I need to say as a goodbye because I kind of like to keep goodbyes short and you know when sometimes you say goodbyes to people you really care about that you get choked up on your words. I for one never liked crying in front of people. It just makes me uncomfortable, but if I am really sad then I might cry, but most of the time I hold it in because sometimes it is really hard for me to talk about those kind of things and I get so uncomfortable and weird feelings that overflow inside me that I feel like the world is gonna end if I say those things, so I just don't talk about it and then I eventually forget about everything I needed to say, but sometimes there is a lingering feeling or thought that continually stands in my mind that says I should have spoke up . It can be very annoying sometimes because it is like I will just be minding my own business and going about my regular schedule and routine then all of a sudden I will be bombarded with these feelings and thoughts, so I am glad you could speak up about it to the seniors because like you said you get rewarded feeling and thoughts of happiness and a calming mind afterwards that you feel like it was a relief to say it, so that is always good for mind, body, and spirit. 

happiness7 : I felt so relieved after speaking to the seniors. Usually when I have an opportunity to say goodbye to someone or some people when they're about to leave a group or something like that, I chicken out. Then for a few days I keep reminding myself angrily that I should have spoken up even though it's hard. I also like to keep goodbyes short but if I have a lot to say, I'm hoping to say almost all of it.

I thought I was going to cry, which I dislike doing in front of people, just like you. I've done it before and I felt worse afterwards. Sometimes it's good to cry in front of people so they know just how strongly you feel about what's going on. I was trying to explain to my mom what was so sad and discouraging when I had a horrible swimming lesson one time, and I had to cry and hug my mom at that moment. I couldn't talk like I wanted to because my throat hurt so bad from all the water getting in my throat and the crying I did after it.

PacmanandMariofan : What? That was a little random lol! And were you giving a time you had trouble speaking up? Because you just mad me paranoid with that comment, and I thought you were repeating what I said and saying what I actually secretly wanted to say if that makes any sense at all 0_o. I also had a bad experience with a swimming class and drowning a couple times, so that is why I thought you were talking as if I was saying that stuff. 

EDIT: I just reread your post and everything was clarified my second time of reading. Sorry I misread your post the first time and misunderstood. It was like the first time I read it, the post was all jumbled up that I got confused and thought different things. The first time reading it, I remember it sounding differently than what I read it the second time around 0_o.