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09-23-19 02:57 AM

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Unlucky in love?
Do you ever feel that you're cursed when it comes to love?
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06-30-15 01:16 AM
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Unlucky in love?

 

06-30-15 01:16 AM
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Do you ever feel that life is against you and that you are forever cursed to live a life without ever finding a romantic partner?

I do. I don't believe in destiny but I'm starting to believe that maybe I'm destined to just adventure though life without finding someone to love romantically. I have been single all my life and continue to be. I'm 22, turning 23 this year. I don't mind though. It doesn't make me sad or anything. I have some great friends IRL whose bonds are probably stronger than that of a romantic relationship. But sometimes I just wonder why is it easy for people to find someone to connect with romantically? To easily share their life with one another?

Sometimes I wonder if it's my personality, bad luck or bad timing. Other times, I believe that my life doesn't have the "romantic partner plug-in" installed. I've been single for so long that romantic partnership is starting to look really alien to me. I look at some random couple in love and wonder how does this "love" thing work? what does one get out of this? why would people want to subject themselves to this? Doesn't this limit their freedom in some sort of way?

All of my good friends feel the same way. They have been single their whole lives too. But then one of my friends got a boyfriend. They've been together for 2 years now. And now all of us wonder, wow, how did that happen? Will it ever happen to us too?

So if ever you feel like life is against you in finding a romantic partner, don't worry. You're not alone. A lot of people feel the same way. There's so much more to life than finding someone to love romantically. You can engage in other forms of love like friendships and family. There's so much out there and so much more to explore. Feel free to share your thoughts and adventure in love (or lack of). And if you're one of the lucky ones who found a love in life, feel free to share how you found him/her
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06-30-15 01:34 AM
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marescanog : I've pretty much the exact same story, as I've just turned 23 a couple months ago. For the most part, I can't really even imagine having a romantic partner at this point (though to be fair that's what everyone (maybe) says about any new/future/first time experience). Like you said, I'd just picture it as a super friendship. I'm happy with the friends I have but still feel ready to break a romantic barrier. At the very least sometimes I just want to give someone a hug lol. 

As far as a curse? Nah, that's a bit much. I've only taken a legit personality test once several years back and feel like I've grown out of my shell quite a bit since then, but it still holds pretty true. At the time I was rated decently high in Vigilance, moderately high in Sensitive, and then very low on like everything else. Further studies into the meaning of those terms described me to a tee: I'm pretty much just the observer that will rarely intentionally initiate new things. There was an accompanying (hopefully fictional) story in the back of each section. After both vigilance and sensitive were stories about people not finding their 'loves' until much later in life due to them waiting for just the right relationship before doing anything. I was like "great, I'm both, I'll get married at like 50" lol. 
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06-30-15 02:11 AM
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danielbelitch : What kind of personality test did you take? I've taken a personality test too and I think it was the 16 type personality test one. I'm an INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judging) Which pretty much means I'm highly skilled in everything else except feelings and pretty much clueless in romance XD

Married at 50? lol, at least you don't look at your personality type and say, "well great, at this rate, I'll end up like one of my mentors who never married at all!" XD hahaha
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06-30-15 02:21 AM
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marescanog : I think there were 11 types on ours, or only 8, I really don't remember. But it was during my psychology class senior year of high school (should still have the paperwork somewhere lol). He was one of the best teacher's I've ever had and told us that that was the best personality book he'd found after all his searching, so I trust in him/the book lol.

And it's still too early to say I'll never marry, not to mention a bit pessimistic. The future is always in flux. 
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06-30-15 02:25 AM
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marescanog : I believe theirs no such thing as luck some people just arn't compatable,perhaps you just be you and eventually you'll find someone,everything happens for a reason.
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06-30-15 03:09 AM
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kirbmanboggle : Thanks for giving me your view I also don't believe in luck, I just used it as more of a flavor text. It sounds better than the title "Terrible at love?". It also hits the spot on what I'm trying to communicate. So it's more like, "are you on an unbreakable streak where you just can't seem to find love?" hahaha

Yup, I hope I'll eventually find someone. But if that day never comes, I'm pretty much just chill with it. Also, I've always been myself. I think that's one reason why I can't seem to find someone, people think I'm too weird hahaha


danielbelitch : That's interesting! Too bad you weren't able to recall the book/test. I'd probably be interested in checking it out. But it's okay haha. If you're curious as to what test I took, you can check out this link and take the test: http://www.16personalities.com/personality-types So far, my friends say it's spot on. I'm curious as to what yours is in terms of the 16 personality type format

True, one can never tell what the future may bring
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06-30-15 03:18 AM
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I felt like this about a year ago, since literally everyone but me was in a relationship. Now, I've been in a relationship for around 8 months.

It's not like I randomly met her in the mall or something. I've known her for almost 2 years now, and I would have never talked to her were it not for a bizarre situation. Long story short, she passed my house one day and saw my dog sitting behind the window, so she went up to the window (our house is a little distance away from the street) to take a look. I was sleeping on the couch beneath the window that night/ morning (I love to sleep like 12 hours/day sometimes). She saw me sleeping and sent me a text message about it (we had to share our numbers at the start of the year). You can imagine how awkward that was, especially right after waking up
Ended up talking to her about it and eventually we got close.

Sometimes situations just appear out of nowhere.
You're definitely not cursed. Everyone is capable of being in a relationship, some just have a harder time with it. This may sound cliché, but keep looking in various places and you will eventually find someone. Try to look for people who share some interests you do, so a conversation can go much quicker.

Best of luck
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06-30-15 03:57 AM
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Furret : Thank you for sharing your story furret! And thanks for the advice and wishing me luck

Life is definitely surprising and has unpredictable twists and turns. Your story is both adorable and amazing. Adorable because what brought you both together is so simple and Amazing because a simple situation like that was able to bring you both together. I mean a lot of factors could've happened to prevent it from happening. Like what if the dog didn't sit there? what if you decided to go out on that day? what if she didn't look? It's amazing because these things didn't happen, and instead you got something really great out of it

I wish you the best and I wish you a long, happy and fulfilling relationship I'll keep on going with my search, but I won't let the search be the main focus in my life. I've also been going out more, but I'd rather much prefer to stay at home haha
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06-30-15 11:40 AM
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Well, mostly that is why you have to find your true love early on because the reason why is that because the most pretty ones are taken very quickly and the pretty ones wants to match with other pretty ones, so, getting is tough and keeping one is tough.

With me, I don't need a love in my life, I am perfectly happy being single, The IB needs no permanent love.

I have went 22 years of my life without a single one and while I was in high school, heck, even middle school, I have seen others that has a relationship, and I was only a few students that were and stayed single. So, in a way, it's both about luck and not about luck, it depends on the person really.
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06-30-15 01:33 PM
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marescanog : Hm, the test itself was a bit short, and when I first glanced upon the keywords of my results I didn't really think that was how I answered. The book I mentioned earlier was a much longer test itself with seemingly more comprehensive results. 

However, when I started reading the results, I was quite impressed. Though it's still a bit suspicious how those few questions were able to form such a comprehensive profile compared to my past experience with this matter, most of the text before me seemed quite accurate. Of course, my favorite part was the very end, where you have to pay for the "premium profile" lol. I applaud their efforts. 

Anyways, final result is the ISFJ personality - The Defender. Like I said, initially it seems off, but this paragraph is what hooked me in to keep reading: "The ISFJ personality type is quite unique, as many of their qualities defy the definition of their individual traits. Though possessing the Feeling (F) trait, ISFJs have excellent analytical abilities; though Introverted (I), they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are a Judging (J) type, ISFJs are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, people with the ISFJ personality type are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are."

Also happens to be the first paragraph, these people are experts on making you read more lol. 
And in regard to this thread, relationships, this is what it has to say after describing the greatness of romantic relationships: "The trouble is, these are the benefits of an established long-term relationship, and ISFJs' unbearable shyness means it can take a long time to reach this point. ... they take dating seriously and only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime." My reaction: "Tell me about it." lol Most of my friends usually say I'm thinking too much or whatever and just do it. 

There are certain things that still didn't seem right, though. I was surprised I didn't get a bit more thinking compared to emotional. Some of the text makes me sound like an unstable wreck, yet all of it outlines a perfectly stable individual. It's weird. But whether it be my initial choice of engineering or my current major in math with a teaching minor, the career choice sections also seemed accurate enough. Pretty good website, thanks for the link! I'll show it to my old Psych teacher on Facebook! 
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06-30-15 08:49 PM
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IgorBird122 : *High Fives* You got that right IB. All the confident single people in the house put yo hands in the air! haha

Indeed, most people say "All the good ones are taken". So if ever we're fortunate enough to find a good one, the challenge remains in keeping that person. I have went through life and seen everyone around me enter and leave several relationships. I also was one of the few students who remained single. I was always puzzled on how on earth was everyone else able to find new relationships so quickly. One day they declare their love to this person, and the next day they've broken up and have now sworn their love to someone new. It's mind boggling to me. But you're right, as you said, it depends on the person
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06-30-15 08:49 PM
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danielbelitch : I had the same reaction when I first took the test. I was also a bit suspicious. I'd rather prefer a well established book than some free online test haha. At first I thought they were pulling the "generalize the information so much so that everyone can relate to it" card. But then I read the other profiles and they had some clear differences. Most of my friends were impressed by the results too. They said it was if as though they were reading a page describing their traits. I'm still looking for someone who could debunk this test haha.

Awesome, All of my friends have the "Introverted" type, they only differ slightly in the last 3 traits. Anyway what makes up our bond of friendship is our deep communication about issues/ideas greater than ourselves and everyday lives. That and sometimes a mixture of random silliness haha. The way you elegantly express your words and ideas through your posts make me feel as though we would be awesome friends. Glad you liked the test! I hope your old Psych teacher finds some value (or amusement at least) in the test as well haha
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marescanog : This is mostly why I never really find myself a love because most of them are taken at a point, I just say "forget it and enjoy single life" and so far, it has been the best decision I have made.
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marescanog : I'll have my roommate take it, too, and see if the test remains accurate. Even if parts of it seem suspicious, I have to admit that the fact that they gear up to charge you means they do take it pretty seriously. They've obviously done their research. And thanks, I try. I am officially a freelance editor after all. I can be strict with grammar sometimes, but I mostly try to type how I would speak. 

If you're interested, my former teacher said the test we took in that book was the MMPI: the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. Not sure how far that'll get you on google (probably pretty far to be honest), but you can give it a shot! He said he'll look into the link I posted as well. I'll keep you updated (probably through PM if you're interested, that way I don't go off topic or sandwich post in this thread). 
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I wouldn't say I am, I just don't really go out looking for love.. I mean I'm too relaxed and to be honest my love life isn't really that much of a priority at the moment.. I mean it gets hard being lonely at first but when you spend your whole life pretty much being lonely you get used to it.. I mean you also get used to people coming and going as well. So in the end it just seems pointless.. 

Then again I have a weird view on the world and people.. I don't really care for looks,race or gender.. I just go for personality.. And let's just say there's not to many people that think being super laid back is attractive.. Plus I'm too sarcastic most of the time.. 

If there is one thing what really seems to deter people though it's the fact that they don't understand how I perceive the world and they assume that I'm some overly depressed negative idiot x3
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I've had my ups and downs. I've been six months from being married to my girlfriend of 7 years and she called it off. And left. Looking back I'm glad though. We stopped being in love a long time before that really. It was more about convenience in the end. Plus I got really sick and she just couldn't cope I think. At least I kept the dog and our apartment. I don't think I ask for much but apparently I'm not the easiest person to live with. c'est la vie
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I've felt like it somewhat sometimes I suppose.


I'm not the most romantic person, so if I've ever had feelings for anyone I usually keep it to myself, those times that I actually did tell a person which has been like two times in my enitre life I was brutally rejected.


Oh well it doesn't bother me too much either, I got over it and I've never really been the type to go out of my way to look for love either, I suppose if it happens it happens and if it doesn't well, I have other things to do and worry about, it's at least not really something I spend that much time thinking about.
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07-10-15 11:32 AM
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The only "luck" involved in love is finding your significant other. In case, my (now) husband had a choice between going to a gay bar (where we met) with the gay group or go with his Mexican friends to celebrate their country's independence.

Otherwise, once you establish your relationship it's all about communication and mutual understanding. We have been through a lot of (sometimes very) rough patches together, but we have been able to overcome them because we talked and found outside solutions as needed.

If one can not find love... it probably means that you need to change something in your character. I used to be very aggressive towards criticism. I still am, but to a much lesser extent thanks to Honey.
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I feel the same way, when I was younger, I was trying to find a girlfriend, but I never had any success. Since then, I haven't tried finding a girlfriend because now I'm not as desperate as I once was. I'm perfectly fine being single, and I'm likely not going to try to find a significant other any time soon.
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Definitely. I mean, I try so hard to find somebody, and nothing. And then when I take people's advice, and sit back and wait for somebody to come to me, still nothing. It is like, whatever I do, it feels like I am destined to be alone for all of eternity, and I can not stand that. 
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