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MONSTER: A tale of An akaian chapter 12 ‘’Oni transforms…’’
10-25-14 02:10 PM
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Chapter 11 https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=80758 Oni was putting on his fighting gear.. He was in the final of the tournament! There were already countless people in the stadium. Oni was done putting on his gear and asked his trainer who won the second semi-final, Which had taken place the day before. The trainer replied ‘’Remember the man that beat you up so bad in the mini-training tournament?’’ Oni thought back and remembered, There was a incredibly strong small mysterious man. ‘’He also got to the finals!?’’ Oni yelled at the his trainer. ‘’This is the toughest challenge you have ever faced, Oni.’’ The trainer replied calmly. Announcer – THE MATCH WILL BEGIN IN ONE MINUTE!! Trainer – Oni, You have to go to the stadium now. Oni – Alright! Oni ran towards the stadium as the crowd cheered. And there he was the mysterious small man… Announcer – The match will be between, Oni and.. Uhm…His real name isf Kakarot, But he says that people on earth call him, Goku! Oni was shocked! It was goku!? Goku put off his cape which covered up his entire body, and yes it was him! However He was a kid? Oni – Kakarot!? Why are you a kid again!? Goku – I heard that you were going to this planet to fight in a tournament, But I did not want you to recognize me, That would have too much impact on your training, So I asked shenron* to make me a kid again! When I get back to earth, I’ll summon shenron* again and ask him to turn me back in to an adult, But I wanted to know your strength. *Shenron is a dragon that you can summon by collecting all seven dragon balls. Oni – This is, without a doubt the biggest challenge I have ever faced.. But I like my chances! Goku – That’s fine, I don’t feel very bad about mine either, Grrghh.. Haaaa!!!! Goku turned in to a super saiyan 3. Announcer – LET THE MATCH BEGIN! Oni and goku were very similar in power, Oni – Spina ray! Spina ray was the new move that Oni had been working on, It was very similar to the kamehameha, Which is a beam of energy and was blue, However this one was green, And even more powerful than the kamehameha It missed Goku – Phew.. That was something, Well, let me try this! Ka…Meeee…Haaa.meee.HAAAA!!! Goku shot out the Kamehameha it hit Oni, Was it over? Meanwhile at monster and the others. Monster – Who’s gonna take him on? TheFadedWarrior – We can all blast him with our energy attacks all at once. Monster – Right! SandoFlash!! A big white beam came out Monster’s hands. Shellana just blasted the thing with powerful energy blasts repeatedly. TheFadedWarrior did the same thing, Monster just recently learned Faded how to control energy. The Giant bug creature was getting damaged but it was not enough, And than Juuldude showed up! Juuldude – Hey guys! Juuldude’s BLAST!! Juuldude’s blast was a energy blast that came from two hands and was yellow. The bug creature had been taken down by our heroes. Monster – Good juul. TheFadedWarrior – I thought we were dead dude! You totally saved us! Shellana – What happened, How did you wake up? Juuldude – Well, When I woke up there were these deadly skeletons and I killed them all by myself! Monster -…. Yeaah.. Ok.. Juuldude – What.. I want to be important too sometimes. Monster – Well let’s get outside, Green and gror are still fighting. Juuldude – Still!? It’s been like two chapters. Monster and the rest were making their way to the exit of the cave Meanwhile at Green VS Gror. Gror – HAAAA! Gror tried punching green, But green dodged all of them skillfully. Green – This is what happens when I go 82 percent mister, You can’t take it. Gror – Arghh!! You little punk! Monster and the others made it out of the cave, They could now watch the fight. Gror charged up to green, But green punched him in the face knocking him out. Monster - What power!! Green – I told you Monster walked up to Gror who was knocked out and on the ground, Monster was about to deliver the final blow, But. Green – Stop! Let him live.. Monster – What? If you are going to do something finish it! Green – Not like that! I know that you still have saiyan blood, but it’s not necessary to kill. Monster – Hmph. Green – We’re near my old friend that can maybe tell us more about the underworld. The others ran towards Green and monster. Juuldude – Hey! So are we nearly there? Shellana – Juuldude, Hold on we’re going to fly again. Juuldude – No, I don’t need you. Check this out. Juuldude flew up in the air! He did it he was flying! TheFadedWarrior – You can do it too? But how? Juuldude –Well, I woke up when the wind threw me in to the cave, There was a big hole, And.. I don’t know how but.. Somehow I sensed my energy and flew myself in to the air. TheFadedWarrior – That’s great! They all followed green again, And there it was! Meanwhile at Goku VS Oni Goku – Wow.. That took so much energy. He was panting. Oni was laying there on the ground, At the same time.. The full moon went up* *The saiyan race turns in to a giant ape if they see the full moon, However this is only possible for saiyans that still have their tail. Announcer – Oh yeah.. The count! One…. Two!! And then Oni opened up his eyes, The full moon was just above him, He stared at it, The same time his heart started pounding very fast. He His pupils turned gray and he grew large teeth. Announcer – Three! Huh what is happening? Goku than realized what was happening. Goku – Oh no.. This is bad. His hair grew and Oni became bigger, large.. Goku – Everyone get out! I have to somehow cut his tail, It’s the only way to stop this without killing him!
To be continued… greenluigi:Eirinn : juuldude :
Chapter 11 https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=80758 Oni was putting on his fighting gear.. He was in the final of the tournament! There were already countless people in the stadium. Oni was done putting on his gear and asked his trainer who won the second semi-final, Which had taken place the day before. The trainer replied ‘’Remember the man that beat you up so bad in the mini-training tournament?’’ Oni thought back and remembered, There was a incredibly strong small mysterious man. ‘’He also got to the finals!?’’ Oni yelled at the his trainer. ‘’This is the toughest challenge you have ever faced, Oni.’’ The trainer replied calmly. Announcer – THE MATCH WILL BEGIN IN ONE MINUTE!! Trainer – Oni, You have to go to the stadium now. Oni – Alright! Oni ran towards the stadium as the crowd cheered. And there he was the mysterious small man… Announcer – The match will be between, Oni and.. Uhm…His real name isf Kakarot, But he says that people on earth call him, Goku! Oni was shocked! It was goku!? Goku put off his cape which covered up his entire body, and yes it was him! However He was a kid? Oni – Kakarot!? Why are you a kid again!? Goku – I heard that you were going to this planet to fight in a tournament, But I did not want you to recognize me, That would have too much impact on your training, So I asked shenron* to make me a kid again! When I get back to earth, I’ll summon shenron* again and ask him to turn me back in to an adult, But I wanted to know your strength. *Shenron is a dragon that you can summon by collecting all seven dragon balls. Oni – This is, without a doubt the biggest challenge I have ever faced.. But I like my chances! Goku – That’s fine, I don’t feel very bad about mine either, Grrghh.. Haaaa!!!! Goku turned in to a super saiyan 3. Announcer – LET THE MATCH BEGIN! Oni and goku were very similar in power, Oni – Spina ray! Spina ray was the new move that Oni had been working on, It was very similar to the kamehameha, Which is a beam of energy and was blue, However this one was green, And even more powerful than the kamehameha It missed Goku – Phew.. That was something, Well, let me try this! Ka…Meeee…Haaa.meee.HAAAA!!! Goku shot out the Kamehameha it hit Oni, Was it over? Meanwhile at monster and the others. Monster – Who’s gonna take him on? TheFadedWarrior – We can all blast him with our energy attacks all at once. Monster – Right! SandoFlash!! A big white beam came out Monster’s hands. Shellana just blasted the thing with powerful energy blasts repeatedly. TheFadedWarrior did the same thing, Monster just recently learned Faded how to control energy. The Giant bug creature was getting damaged but it was not enough, And than Juuldude showed up! Juuldude – Hey guys! Juuldude’s BLAST!! Juuldude’s blast was a energy blast that came from two hands and was yellow. The bug creature had been taken down by our heroes. Monster – Good juul. TheFadedWarrior – I thought we were dead dude! You totally saved us! Shellana – What happened, How did you wake up? Juuldude – Well, When I woke up there were these deadly skeletons and I killed them all by myself! Monster -…. Yeaah.. Ok.. Juuldude – What.. I want to be important too sometimes. Monster – Well let’s get outside, Green and gror are still fighting. Juuldude – Still!? It’s been like two chapters. Monster and the rest were making their way to the exit of the cave Meanwhile at Green VS Gror. Gror – HAAAA! Gror tried punching green, But green dodged all of them skillfully. Green – This is what happens when I go 82 percent mister, You can’t take it. Gror – Arghh!! You little punk! Monster and the others made it out of the cave, They could now watch the fight. Gror charged up to green, But green punched him in the face knocking him out. Monster - What power!! Green – I told you Monster walked up to Gror who was knocked out and on the ground, Monster was about to deliver the final blow, But. Green – Stop! Let him live.. Monster – What? If you are going to do something finish it! Green – Not like that! I know that you still have saiyan blood, but it’s not necessary to kill. Monster – Hmph. Green – We’re near my old friend that can maybe tell us more about the underworld. The others ran towards Green and monster. Juuldude – Hey! So are we nearly there? Shellana – Juuldude, Hold on we’re going to fly again. Juuldude – No, I don’t need you. Check this out. Juuldude flew up in the air! He did it he was flying! TheFadedWarrior – You can do it too? But how? Juuldude –Well, I woke up when the wind threw me in to the cave, There was a big hole, And.. I don’t know how but.. Somehow I sensed my energy and flew myself in to the air. TheFadedWarrior – That’s great! They all followed green again, And there it was! Meanwhile at Goku VS Oni Goku – Wow.. That took so much energy. He was panting. Oni was laying there on the ground, At the same time.. The full moon went up* *The saiyan race turns in to a giant ape if they see the full moon, However this is only possible for saiyans that still have their tail. Announcer – Oh yeah.. The count! One…. Two!! And then Oni opened up his eyes, The full moon was just above him, He stared at it, The same time his heart started pounding very fast. He His pupils turned gray and he grew large teeth. Announcer – Three! Huh what is happening? Goku than realized what was happening. Goku – Oh no.. This is bad. His hair grew and Oni became bigger, large.. Goku – Everyone get out! I have to somehow cut his tail, It’s the only way to stop this without killing him!
To be continued… greenluigi:Eirinn : juuldude : |
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10-25-14 02:27 PM
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imamonster : I actually just noticed this and think it's pretty funny but remember when you made me in this you put my guy at like the end of a chapter and then I like never came back. But your stories are getting better I feel that you don't exactly need to show every single chapter you make as some people could think that's to boost word count but I also feel the need to describe things a bit more. But overall you are improving your grammer and the sentences are way better than before. |
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10-25-14 02:31 PM
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imamonster : What an amazing chapter!! Wait Oni became a great ape  !!! Woah this is gonna be epic, and don't let Goku cut off your tail  !! "Still!? It’s been like two chapters." Juul broke the fourth wall XD!!! :3!!! Woah this is gonna be epic, and don't let Goku cut off your tail !! "Still!? It’s been like two chapters." Juul broke the fourth wall XD!!! :3 |
| Mitsuhirato |
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10-25-14 02:39 PM
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deg2000 : You actually were in the first few chapters of this story. I did not forget about you. In fact I wanted to make a storyline that takes place in the land of V, where your character lives. Also, I don't do that to increase word count, but because it's hard to find other chapters. I know that i'm improving, And I would agree that I need to work on describing things. Thanks for the feedback, i appreciate it. greenluigi : I also felt that I should not cut off his tail for future events. I like breaking the fourth wall, But it's bad if you do it a lot. greenluigi : I also felt that I should not cut off his tail for future events. I like breaking the fourth wall, But it's bad if you do it a lot. |
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