uh.....dang.....i've never got in any major situation like this besides a tornado once when we were in walmart. That's about it. I have to give you props for remaining calm even though you were freaking out on the inside to the point you though you would die and STILL was able to think clearly and get to the police. Congrats.

also, fail summon

thephantombrain :  

Mega Mewtwo X :  Thanks for fixing that. Also.. that's something I forgot to mention....

Even though I was unsure if I was making the right decisions or not... I have to say that I'm really proud of myself. I ALWAYS wondered how I would behave in a possible life-or-death situation. Would I freeze and freak out?  Would I give in?  Would I be a fighter?

If anything... I'm glad this experience allowed me to see what I could be.

The only problem though... (and my mom even said this without me mentioning it)... is that I believe I got my strength in the desire to protect the girl. If I was by myself....?  Well, I'm pretty sure I would have been frozen and unable to think logically.

Even the girl, after it was all over, kept asking me incredulously:  "How did you stay so calm?  How are you so calm right now?!"

I tried to give her words of encouragement. She kept telling me she was so glad I was there and I was able to attribute my strength to my faith in God to keep me safe.

I was so stressed about putting ALL my weight against that door though, that my back was uber sore the next day. You would have thought I had done some insane exercises with as much as it was hurting.

Singelli... that is really freaking terrifying...
I can sympathize so hard with that whole family too... I've been through that kind of fear before... It's horrible...
I mean, at the very least it eventually stopped with my family, for the most part...
My heart goes to those poor children.
I also have to commend you on getting the courage to go straight for the phone and get help.
Words can just not describe how freaking happy and relieved I am that you were all safe (Though I have to question the thought process of letting the guy walk free after that much trauma...)

Good grief, that sounds terrifying. The poor girl must be scared badly from that. Good to know you remained calm throughout the situation, no matter how scary it is and even though you were scared too.You aren't the only who thinks the entire situation was nutty. I have heard of women who won't let go of men despite them being horrible to them. I still wonder why they just can't let go of them. I have never been in a situation like this, but I hope the whole mess gets resolved soon.

Singelli :

I don't understand the logic of that woman either. That is a truly horrible experience indeed. I would hate to be in that position.

I, don't know if I should be saying thing, but how would you feel about having a concealed firearm on you at all times? I mean, then you could end things really quickly if you had too. 

But I dunno what you're comfortable with. :V

I still cannot even believe what I have just read. I witnessed something similar in my own family; But it was not anything like this. This was totally insane. All I can say is thank GOD that you and that family are all right. But that moron mother (no offense, but really! He almost killed her child and tutor!) really should get some sense knocked into her head. How would she feel if she was the one in the bathroom? She was in the safety of her bedroom upstairs! I almost wondered if she used you as a first line of defense sort of thing. But I am not sure if that even makes sense.

WOW!! That is just a horrible story.  I've seen this type of thing before and I'll  say how baffled I am at things like this.  I would try to bring this situation to light to as many people as possible because it is very clear this woman is not thinking clearly.  The more "outsiders" that know about this the better, maybe somebody could help out somehow.  Just the emotional abuse on her children should be enough to have made her tried everything she can legally to make it so this guy cannot come anywhere near her or her family.  She needs help and though she is taking his side and not understanding what is going on I urge you not to run away from this situation.  One thing I do not understand is that even though the mother didn't come to terms with the police did you tell them everything?  From that story it seems you could tell the police enough to have that guy locked up, or a restraining order or something placed against him going near the girl.  I know this isn't the ideal answer but maybe she should have her children taken away from her, letting them go through this kind of thing only lets the cycle of insanity repeat or at the very least (still a heavy price) scars the children for life.  I'll just say I wish I could do something to help.

Wow...As I was reading this, my heart was slowly beating faster and I was hoping that the situation was settled in the end. I am glad that you were strong through this situation regardless of how intense and frightening it must have been. From the judge of that picture of the wooden part of the door, it could have been broke in a few more powerful bangs and hits on the door. Luckily, you called as soon as possible or else you all would have been killed.

It sucks that the father wants to show off a lot and lather the others with materialistic stuff. Worst of all, he shows off his abusive and bad side when it comes to the mother and her children. That must be the worst for the child to go through all of that. Children can be scared easily especially in situations like that. Talk about emotional trauma.

I especially hate how the mother still helped the father escape especially when she was the one avoiding him and getting all of the abuse from him. Why would you do that, woman?! He would have taken out a couple of lives if you didn't do anything. I am guessing she didn't want the higher consequences from him and he would seek out more revenge and vengeance to her. There has to be something else between them that nobody else knows about.

I admire and respect you a lot more for having the guts and courage to save some lives there especially for the child! She must be relieved and proud of you.

I wasn't actually expecting very many people to read through this post, much less to reply to it. XD I guess sometimes my ramblings aren't so bad after all. haha.  (As far as content goes... I think this one was actually rather poorly written, but I had to break it up during the day, and hurry to get it done due to other obligations.)



AriaAngelDream :  I don't understand it at all, even if the man IS her baby's father.  Before the whole incident, I was astonished. I tried to choose my words carefully, and I asked her "What is it that you love about this man?"  Her answer was something to the effect of "Well I've known him for 6 years and....  I know he acts like a jerk when he's around other women, but when he's with just me... he's nice and sweet and.. he's just a different person."  I tried soooo hard not to guffaw.  I told her "I understand, but if he only acts that way 1/3 of the time, that's not really HIM. You're dating a lie.  My husband and I may have a lot of issues, but the one thing I can be assured of is stability.  Whatever I get with him at home, is what anyone else gets with him anywhere else...."  She just kind of gave that noncommittal murmur like she knew what I was talking about but it 'wasn't that simple'.

She kept telling the police "He would never hurt us. Ever. He just wanted to get in, that's all."  The policeman asked incredulously "And what do you think he would have done once he got in?"  She responded "Oh, he would have just asked why I didn't let him in."  She also kept expressing regret and saying she should have just let him in to avoid it all.

And guess what?  He told HER that he was only trying to break in because he was concerned about their safety and he didn't know where she was at.  So he said he wanted to get in and check on everyone to make sure everything was okay.

Yeah. freaking. right.  :/

Sword legion :  My husband is all for the right to carry guns, but I don't think he'd be okay with it.

FaithFighter :  As stupid as it may sound... I'm of the opinion that he didn't intend to hurt anyone. (It didn't make the situation any less scary at the time, and at the time... I thought he might indeed want to shoot us or hurt us... but then again, adrenaline will exaggerate emotions.)  I think he was used to being let in, angry at being locked out, and stubbornly trying to prove that she couldn't lock him out.  I think he took her purse so he could text her and tell her she'd have to let him in, because he had her purse.

One of the reasons I feel this way is because he had no idea she was going to lock him out. She never had before, so it's not like he came with the intent to do harm. In fact, she even told me after the police left "If he wanted to hurt us, he would have brought his gun... but I wasn't going to let the police know he had one."

I do not believe she had any idea he would be that crazy. I think she thought he would knock for an hour or so and give up and go home.  She had the TV on upstairs to keep the kids quiet, so she didn't use me as a line of defense, because she honestly had no idea what he was doing.

Although I don't believe he had intent to harm THIS time... I could see him being someone who develops that intent in the future.

fightorrace:  I told the policemen more than she did, probably.  However, I didn't want to outright contradict her in front of her.... I know that was probably the wrong decision.  However, I was also trying to keep her two year old twins away from the police and outside (they recognize their dad).  The policemen were trying to interrogate the mother and take pictures of the damage, so doors were open all over the place.  It was night and I was the only calm person available. I was trying to calm both the daughter and hold onto the two year old twins.... so I tried to stay out of it... it not being my business and all.

ghostfishy :  She's not proud of me. She's very upset I called the police, because it put yet another damper on her relationship.  Now he has a record, after all.

I don't think she's afraid of revenge at all, because she is absolutely confident he would never harm anyone. Instead, she's stressing over trying to smooth things out with him. She's even going to court with him to try and get the charges dropped, contacting his family to make sure they know SHE was NOT the one to get him arrested... etc etc. It just makes me sad.  She keeps telling me that he promised to buy her a car when he gets the job back and that he's going to pay for the whole thing. I think she's hoping for that financial relief and for some twisted reason... believes he will eventually wake up and commit himself to her and what not.  As outsiders, we can all conclude that's probably a very stupid thing to believe.... but "love" truly makes some people blind, I guess.

steel_attacker :  I know it's probably not wise but... yeah.. I'm still tutoring her child. He's out of state as far as I'm aware, and I know the mother would never lock him out again. In fact, she'll most likely tell me not to tutor on any week he's at her house.  He doesn't know a thing about me though... other than I called the police so I'm not worried about him hunting me down.

Singelli : Yeah, the reaon I worry most is the potential of what he might do later. I mean, isn't the mom scared that he might get angry about the whole situation, and having the police called on him. Maybe I'm just being too dramatic...but I cannot help but worry some. 

Wow. That's just... that's just insane. The thing with the abusive is that they make the abused feel like they deserve it. I'm not sure if it classifies as kafkatrapping, but I think it might. They hold onto the good times that they've had with the abuser, convinced that that's the real person the abuser is. When the abused starts to realize the truth and the abuser realizes it, they further convince the abused that they deserve it and that they (the abuser) is really a good person. "I keep the lights on! I put food on the table! I keep a roof over your head," are things that they like to bring up to further enforce that they're actually good people and that the abused are the problem.

There's nothing even remotely okay about that situation, and I'm very sorry that you and the children were put for that. I'll be praying for both yours and the children's safeties.

The really distressing thing is that people like this guy are around every corner. We pass them everyday when driving down the street. They're capable of some pretty horrible things under the perfect circumstances.

Everyone reading this should expect to cross paths with at least one person in their lifetime that would destroy them and everything they hold dear if that person thought there was something to gain from it.

Kelli, I'm so glad you're still breathing. You did good but if he would have gotten in, I hope you would have remembered to kick the family jewels hard and swift.

We should chat sometime about this (if not for your sake, then for mine, if that's OK). My brother shows signs of becoming like this man. He is very selfish, often verbally abusive (and occasionally physically abusive), and already has exposed himself to all sorts of salty language and such. He has little respect for women, and especially little respect to anyone who might tell him something to do. I don't want him to grow up to become this sort of man. I love him to pieces, and it's hard seeing him like this. My parents have had it up to here with him, and don't know what to do. I don't know what to do (entirely). I just hope he'll turn out OK, and will keep encouraging him to engage in good activities.

I'm glad you're all OK, and I hope that everything will get better. That lady really needs to step up for her child. I know my Mom would in that sort of situation.

FaithFighter : She's more worried about cleaning up his record, than what me might do in the future. She thinks he's a fine guy with a few issues, apparently.  :/

Rasenganfan2 :  What is .... kafkatrapping?  I've never heard of it... I mean, I assume it's what you've laid out in your following sentences?  Also, thank you for your prayers. 

thephantombrain :  I guess you're right about people like that being everywhere though. If you think about it, that really is kind of scary.  What especially perturbs me about her defense of the man is that she works for social services... she sees this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME. How in the world could she sit there and tell the police "Oh, he just lost his job. I broke up with him. And his family are having issues..... But he would never hurt a fly..."

I'm glad I'm still breathing as well.  I'm not sure what I would have done if he got in... and luckily I didn't have to think that far ahead. I just kept kind of pepping myself.... I kept telling myself that he may be a big, strong black guy... but that my adrenaline was going to hold out and keep that door shut. Like I mentioned... I was pressing myself into it so hard (bracing against the toilet), that my back was uber sore the next day.  (Though the soreness might have also been caused by how very tight every muscle in my body was, from the fear.)

supernerd117 : Sure... since it sounds so personal, why don't you send me a pm?  Jason wants to watch Gotham with me right now, so I can't exactly chat at the moment.  However, I sympathize with your situation. I'm not sure how I can help, but if I can even just by talking about it... then I'd love to.

Singelli : Sure thing. I'll send it to you as soon as I can. Thank you!