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How do you deal with criticism?

 

08-28-16 04:46 AM
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Criticism comes in one of two types. It is usually either constructive or cynical. Constructive criticism is like a tool; we use it to help others by addressing their shortcomings and finding a solution meaningfully. Cynical criticism is like the kind that everyone dislikes. We all generally want to avoid failure, but sometimes we get a scolding, no matter how much effort we actually put into what we were doing. It could be harsh, but it could also be quite severe. For example, even a nice guy such as myself isn't immune to this sort of behavior. Whether it's a lack of communication, or a lack of co-operation, I will always get chewed out, despite working my hardest. People have commonly told me things like "You're useless!" and "He doesn't do anything!" despite doing something, and having a good attendance record. It's just so annoying.
 
How often have you been criticized? What is your solution to it? Thanks for addressing this, friends.  
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Criticism comes in one of two types. It is usually either constructive or cynical. Constructive criticism is like a tool; we use it to help others by addressing their shortcomings and finding a solution meaningfully. Cynical criticism is like the kind that everyone dislikes. We all generally want to avoid failure, but sometimes we get a scolding, no matter how much effort we actually put into what we were doing. It could be harsh, but it could also be quite severe. For example, even a nice guy such as myself isn't immune to this sort of behavior. Whether it's a lack of communication, or a lack of co-operation, I will always get chewed out, despite working my hardest. People have commonly told me things like "You're useless!" and "He doesn't do anything!" despite doing something, and having a good attendance record. It's just so annoying.
 
How often have you been criticized? What is your solution to it? Thanks for addressing this, friends.  

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(edited by Ultrajeff on 08-28-16 04:46 AM)    

08-28-16 07:45 AM
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I deal with criticism depending on the objective of the person giving it. If it's my boss, he'll tell me why what I did or didn't do was the wrong decision and he'll provide feedback with what I could have done instead. Then he'll let me clean up the mess and figure out what is a better solution the next time around.

It's critical because I make mistakes but it's not aggressive, I have not been scolded or yelled at, and I never felt like he was angry with me.

My last boss was kind of the opposite. He never gave positive feedback, he just attacked the mistakes and bad calls. But because he didn't support the good things or show positive reinforcement, I didn't know how well certain things worked or what to avoid in the future. Only when there was serious failure did he make a comment on what was happening. It was a good lesson in leadership. Because I'm in charge of a team of a dozen people, more or less, I give them positive reinforcement with the things they do well. If they make mistakes, I give them the opportunity to work through the decision making process so we can see where they went wrong.

If it's anyone else who criticizes me, I ignore them unless what I did had a direct impact on someone. Someone can make fun of me for a shirt I wear and I could not care less. But, many years ago, I had a coworker say they were really uncomfortable when I called something f****ng gay and I thought about what they said. I realized I was wrong and I have never said that phrase again. That criticism was fine.
I deal with criticism depending on the objective of the person giving it. If it's my boss, he'll tell me why what I did or didn't do was the wrong decision and he'll provide feedback with what I could have done instead. Then he'll let me clean up the mess and figure out what is a better solution the next time around.

It's critical because I make mistakes but it's not aggressive, I have not been scolded or yelled at, and I never felt like he was angry with me.

My last boss was kind of the opposite. He never gave positive feedback, he just attacked the mistakes and bad calls. But because he didn't support the good things or show positive reinforcement, I didn't know how well certain things worked or what to avoid in the future. Only when there was serious failure did he make a comment on what was happening. It was a good lesson in leadership. Because I'm in charge of a team of a dozen people, more or less, I give them positive reinforcement with the things they do well. If they make mistakes, I give them the opportunity to work through the decision making process so we can see where they went wrong.

If it's anyone else who criticizes me, I ignore them unless what I did had a direct impact on someone. Someone can make fun of me for a shirt I wear and I could not care less. But, many years ago, I had a coworker say they were really uncomfortable when I called something f****ng gay and I thought about what they said. I realized I was wrong and I have never said that phrase again. That criticism was fine.

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08-28-16 10:04 AM
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Constructive criticism is pretty nice, but you can't realistically expect everyone to give constructive criticism all of the time. It honestly depends on who the person giving the criticism is and what mood I'm in. If I'm in a good mood, I don't really care if someone yells at me, and I just try to do better, if I can. If I'm not really in a good mood, then I'm more likely to get pissed off and sometimes even talk back. 99% of the time someone is scolding or yelling at me, it's my parents. Some of those times, I legit messed up something bad, and I deserve to be yelled at. However, I don't really like it when they yell at me for something trivial or for something that I didn't even do bad. Most of the time, I calmly explain that I didn't do whatever they're getting on me about. However, a few times here and there, I really get annoyed and I talk back like an idiot, which only makes the situation worse and gives them actual reason to yell at me. To answer your question about how often I'm criticized, it depends on the day. Usually, maybe 2 or 3 times a day, but some days it's like 50 times. It really depends on how I'm doing that day and what kind of mood whoever is criticizing me is in. My "solution" to it is to try to do whatever they were getting on me about a little bit better. That's all I can really do, since others' reactions isn't something I can control. 

Constructive criticism is pretty nice, but you can't realistically expect everyone to give constructive criticism all of the time. It honestly depends on who the person giving the criticism is and what mood I'm in. If I'm in a good mood, I don't really care if someone yells at me, and I just try to do better, if I can. If I'm not really in a good mood, then I'm more likely to get pissed off and sometimes even talk back. 99% of the time someone is scolding or yelling at me, it's my parents. Some of those times, I legit messed up something bad, and I deserve to be yelled at. However, I don't really like it when they yell at me for something trivial or for something that I didn't even do bad. Most of the time, I calmly explain that I didn't do whatever they're getting on me about. However, a few times here and there, I really get annoyed and I talk back like an idiot, which only makes the situation worse and gives them actual reason to yell at me. To answer your question about how often I'm criticized, it depends on the day. Usually, maybe 2 or 3 times a day, but some days it's like 50 times. It really depends on how I'm doing that day and what kind of mood whoever is criticizing me is in. My "solution" to it is to try to do whatever they were getting on me about a little bit better. That's all I can really do, since others' reactions isn't something I can control. 

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08-28-16 01:45 PM
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Not well. If you lash out at me,I lash back at you. You want to get stupid about it,do it yourself next time.
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Not well. If you lash out at me,I lash back at you. You want to get stupid about it,do it yourself next time.

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08-28-16 03:53 PM
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It depends on the type of criticism, if it's constructive such as pointing out a mistake I did or something I could do better I'll thank them and try to follow their suggestion. If it is destructive criticism then I ignore it as there is nothing valuable to gain from such things.
It depends on the type of criticism, if it's constructive such as pointing out a mistake I did or something I could do better I'll thank them and try to follow their suggestion. If it is destructive criticism then I ignore it as there is nothing valuable to gain from such things.

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08-28-16 06:35 PM
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I'm okay with criticism. I'm completely open to it and if someone says that I'm doing something wrong and is respectful about it I'm definitely open to listening to. But if it's someone just being blatantly rude because I did or said something that they didn't like, then I'm honestly not going to care at all.

I'm okay with criticism. I'm completely open to it and if someone says that I'm doing something wrong and is respectful about it I'm definitely open to listening to. But if it's someone just being blatantly rude because I did or said something that they didn't like, then I'm honestly not going to care at all.

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08-28-16 08:23 PM
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Since I'll be the first person to tell someone I'm totally clueless about something, I see most criticism as more a form of advice. As a matter of fact, I actively seek out constructive criticism. If it's a personal, belligerent attack on me rather than my performance, I instantaneously go from quiet and polite to confrontational, regardless of who the other person is. Numerous times have I had someone twice my size, age, weight and strength get in my face a threaten to do bodily harm and I stared them down and dared them to do anything. Even my own mother made the mistake of thinking she could intimidate me and she almost payed very dearly for it.
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Since I'll be the first person to tell someone I'm totally clueless about something, I see most criticism as more a form of advice. As a matter of fact, I actively seek out constructive criticism. If it's a personal, belligerent attack on me rather than my performance, I instantaneously go from quiet and polite to confrontational, regardless of who the other person is. Numerous times have I had someone twice my size, age, weight and strength get in my face a threaten to do bodily harm and I stared them down and dared them to do anything. Even my own mother made the mistake of thinking she could intimidate me and she almost payed very dearly for it.

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08-29-16 04:17 PM
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I don't mind criticism as long as it is constructive in one way or another. Simply lashing out at something and completely denouncing it isn't useful at all. I would also prefer that the person providing criticism be in a position to do so. Ultimately, the impact that the criticism has is largely determined by the person receiving it. If you don't value the opinion of the other person, then take it with a grain of salt (Which is how I deal with most criticism). Constructive criticism doesn't bother me because the person criticizing you (assuming they are in a position to do so) is more than likely doing it with the intention of helping you by pointing out where you fell short or failed to deliver. Obviously this is all under the assumption that they are doing it in a respectable manner, if they are just a rambling buffoon rudely spouting off random nonsense, then that's where taking their criticism with a grain of salt comes in. 
I don't mind criticism as long as it is constructive in one way or another. Simply lashing out at something and completely denouncing it isn't useful at all. I would also prefer that the person providing criticism be in a position to do so. Ultimately, the impact that the criticism has is largely determined by the person receiving it. If you don't value the opinion of the other person, then take it with a grain of salt (Which is how I deal with most criticism). Constructive criticism doesn't bother me because the person criticizing you (assuming they are in a position to do so) is more than likely doing it with the intention of helping you by pointing out where you fell short or failed to deliver. Obviously this is all under the assumption that they are doing it in a respectable manner, if they are just a rambling buffoon rudely spouting off random nonsense, then that's where taking their criticism with a grain of salt comes in. 

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08-30-16 01:29 PM
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Its a way of life helping each person for the better I think. I know I'm stubborn with some things, but mostly can be open minded towards things am learning to do. Also let me take this one as an example because I am a pro at baking doesn't mean I shouldn't listen to others criticism towards it, since it would be helping me build more to learn. That's what I like to learn more things to understand more things. If you come across it in a rude way I sure as in heck am not going to listen. But, it depends. If its full on blunt rudeness then that's something to be an example of. In all honesty I like criticism it helps you to learn from mistakes and become a lot more smarter. In whatever you are learning on.
Its a way of life helping each person for the better I think. I know I'm stubborn with some things, but mostly can be open minded towards things am learning to do. Also let me take this one as an example because I am a pro at baking doesn't mean I shouldn't listen to others criticism towards it, since it would be helping me build more to learn. That's what I like to learn more things to understand more things. If you come across it in a rude way I sure as in heck am not going to listen. But, it depends. If its full on blunt rudeness then that's something to be an example of. In all honesty I like criticism it helps you to learn from mistakes and become a lot more smarter. In whatever you are learning on.

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