So, my wife posted something about me on Facebook about how my girls say that they like me because I'm a "Dad that plays".

The resulting comments were all excessively positive about how amazing of a dad I am and how lucky the girls are to have me as a dad. My mom even called me a "super dad".

I found this comment offensive in a way. Not because of the praise I was getting but what I was getting it for. Why is playing with your own children something that makes you a "super dad"? Shouldn't that be the norm?

I'm not sure how many people here will relate with my perspective since many of the members are young enough to be a kid of mine but I am curious what you guys all think.

"If everybody's super...no one is" -Syndrome

I felt that quote has context here...yet it's not entirely true. Everybody's unique and "super" in their own ways. This does not make you the "world's best dad" in general. But perhaps you are in their eyes.

I have a dad I admit I don't look up to too much. As a video gamer, I wish my parents, especially my dad, spent more time playing them with me. Too many excuses were made, and instead of playing the games with me even for a little while, they were too often considered to be lesser than board games or card games in value. One excuse was "card and board games teach you how to get along", when in fact, possibly just as many or more video games that we had than card or board games featured cooperation as a major aspect of gameplay. I resented them so much. I'm trying to remove that from myself now. But I think we'd be able to get along much more smoothly if they were willing to embrace something that I'm not willing to give up and is an major part of my life.

My father has made more efforts to spend time with me lately. We've had some quality father/son time on walks, and have gotten to talk about each other's interests and such. But I still wish he'd be invested a little in my interests, even if he isn't much good at them (he isn't much good at vidya games). I'd kill (probably not literally) for my father to be more like you in that respect. I should also be like you more in that respect. I don't go out and do stuff with my father enough, if at all these days. We've had a pretty strained relationship. But I admit I do miss playing tennis with him on an almost weekly basis. Tennis was my favorite sport, and I enjoyed hitting the ball around, even though Dad and I never got around to playing an actual game (I wanted to, though).

I agree that playing with your children is something that should be expected of parents but sadly there are a lot of parents out there that spend barely any time with their kids. I've seen Dad's who spend so much time on their Computer or playing Video Games but never actually spend time with their kids, it kinda makes you wonder why they even decided to have kids in the first place. I try and set aside at least a few hours a week to spend time with my kids.

Anyways, I'm glad you set aside time to spend with your kids because that's so important. I think one of the big problems with the current generation is that their parents aren't spending enough time with them. I think kids are less likely to do bad things if they have a good relationship with their parents.

Davideo7 : That's the thing... must humans don't think xD 



JK...maybe . I don't have kids, but I do have a niece, and no matter what I was doing... there was always time to play with her or even watch her awful mario kart 64 racing 

now that I cant see her (away on other country), I really miss her a lot

Not many parents spend time with their kids these days. Yet, you wonder why children have a bad relationship with their parents. They have nobody to look up to and they search for others for inspiration and attention. With technology evolving and expanding, it's a bit tough to get lots of personal interactions these days. Only a small handpicked of children have a good relationship with their parents and I wish that I was one of them. Close communication and close bonding do play a huge role onto your children now and in the future. Spend time with them while you can before they go off on their own ways and directions.

supernerd117 : that's the thing.... I don't feel like an amazing dad. I feel like what I do should be the norm and I'm doing exactly what I should be doing.

To be honest I'm not sure what a "super dad" would be like. I just know the things my dad did that I didn't like and I'm trying not to do those things. I'll probably just end up making other mistakes instead.

Either way it is depressing that most people see parents as being more selfish than selfless when it comes to their kids. I think more kids would turn out better if, like David said, kids and parents had better relationships.

I think you are way overthinking this one, Geeogree.  They're complimenting you and giving you support because you're interacting with them and you're involved in their lives.  Any time a person cares about others and involves themselves in the lives of those others, they're positively affecting those kids.  You playing with your kids is great.  

Don't analyze it too much.  Just take the compliment, take pride in being with your kids for time they enjoy, and keep things moving.  There's more than enough to be concerned about in the world.  It feels like you're mincing something that was just really nice.

I think that parents NOT playing with their kids is exactly what makes you a 'super dad'.  Should it be the norm?  Heck yes!  But is it?  No.  That is what makes you special.  I don't think you should be offended by the comment, but  can understand your point exactly.  It is appropriate to hold feelings of... disappointment?.. towards such a comment; that disappointment simply should not be directed at yourself.

I think it is very.... VERY sad that most parents of these newer generations do not spend time with their kids.  Not quality time, anyways.  It makes my heart hurt that family members are so distant.  My dad played ALL the time with my twin and I, but when my other siblings came along, he was so sucked into his own interests that the only thing he ever did with them is fight.  He is now a ridiculous and totally absorbed man that most of my siblings have trouble liking.  I understand their sentiments because he has never come off as very 'loving' to them.  I can look back and remember that quality time with my twin and I, but my siblings never got that experience.

People often make comments to me like the one you've mentioned.  While I feel a little happiness at the words, I also can't help but hurt a little.  I put effort into my work?  Wow....... but shouldn't everyone?  I take care of my husband?  So what.. don't you?  etc etc.

There are two many 'extraordinary' habits nowadays that should naturally be 'norms'.

warmaker : it wasn't the compliment that offended me but more that playing with my kids was worthy of a compliment. I know I've probably thought about it too much but the idea that simply playing with my kids is considered being a good dad is sad to me.

Singelli : yeah, it seems like what should be normal is given this extraordinary status. It blows my mind. Simply doing what you're supposed to is now being applauded. It baffles me.

geeogree : I understand what you mean, and how you feel (though I'm not a father). Most parents these days are too damn busy in their cell phones to raise their children. That's part of why there are a lot of rude children now: their parents haven't bothered raising them. It's for that reason that everyone is giving you props. It is a sad day when being a good dad is seen as being a super duper dad. The world needs more parents out there like you and my mom, who enjoy spending time with their children instead of thinking it a chore; who are more concerned with their children's well being than the internet.

I understand where you're coming from. Such compliments annoy me at times as well. One thing I've never understood: 'Awards" for actors in movies and similar things. Like, really? It's their JOB to get paid tons of money to 'act' for our entertainment. And then when an actor is actually convincing and truly entertaining, it's worthy of a special award? That's what they were supposed to be doing to begin with....

But on the other hand, in your situation, it's not just  what you should be doing, or that it's great that you've taken the time to play with your kids. The compliments could also be rooted in how you're managing your time overall. The economy still plays a big role in everyone's work schedules. Many might be working multiple jobs. Perhaps your friends were complimenting how efficiently you're managing your time to still be able to play with your kids. Yes it should be the norm, but at times it's not always possible. My father would also fall into this category. We weren't exactly the most financially stable family when I was growing up, but both my parents would always entertain us and work. 

Growing up, I always thought that my Dad was pretty cool when he would take time out of his schedule to play with me when I was a kid. I understand that if you are busy, but you should at least try to put a few hours aside each week. But those parents who take extra time out their schedule to spend it with the kids, instead of doing what they could by their selves? Those are the super dads. 

geeogree : well in today's society theres not that many dads that take time to play with their kids and a lot are busy most of the time or don't care but i do believe it should be a normal thing i meen its your kid you eventually got to take time out for the kid