This is a serious thread, please don't come here to play or mess around.

It is a sensitive topic where we can share our experiences, whether you have thought about or have attempted to take your own life.

This thread is not a place to talk about what you might do, if you think you may take your own life you must tell someone who can help you immediately. Tell the ambulance, tell the police, tell your doctor, tell your therapist, tell your family, run come tell your friends.

You should not cry for help here either, as we cannot do anything as we do not know you or could come round to stop you from doing it. You must must must tell the Samaritians, church priest, therapist, doctor, psychiatrist to help you.

So this thread is about times in the past, problems from then and not in anymore and wish to share your experiences with Vizzed so that they may gain insight not only into your life but theirs by vicarious learning.

Please don't share anything technical, we do not support, warrant or want this information posted here as we don't want to encourage these actions.

Tell your family and friends talk to them, they love and care for you, your care givers are there for you.

We are not responsible for your actions, don't tell us this, go to your doctor who can give you help.

Yes I did.....in a way I thought to kill myself because of my past. I had it with what was happening with me. But then I thought. Why should I? Maybe I should try and live my life to the fullest. I had my family helping me. And of course watching anime. Here a fact about animes most that you watch is based on real life in a way. And can guide you will good quotes. On what you want to be in live. And what you want to achieve. I wanted to do that so I didn't kill myself.

Totts : Yes i have multiple times before cause i had a lot going in life that made me depressed and sad and my family didn't make things better but they made it worse for me. and as the was going on i was acting real mean and rude to others around which i still do in a little amount though cause i'm just not a people person.

I have actually. It was a while ago though, and thankfully I can say that will never happen again. I would prefer not disclosing my reasons, sorry. Suffice to say it wasn't worth dying over, but then again, nothing is. I'm glad I didn't die, and I would have missed so much had I ended it successfully. My life has taken me places I never would have suspected, and I find it tragic what I would have missed. Thank God I didn't succeed.

Although I haven't attempted to kill myself, I always wish that I could just leave this world because my life would get rough sometimes. I am not a big fan of people either really. Every time I even think about ending it right there, I always think of my friends and family and even my friends on vizzed and how they would react if that happened, it would be selfish and I don't think I could do it knowing what would happen as a result. There are people out there that have lives much worse then my own (not to say mine is bad, because it isn't) and even when it gets a little difficult for me or I find myself in a tough situation, taking my life away isn't worth it, and it would only hurt the people around me. Therefore, I haven't attempted suicide, and I don't ever plan to. 

Many of times. I can't say its fun, or something smart to do, just when your mind takes you over, there is not really all that much that you can do. The bad thoughts just come into your head, and just sit there, not moving, making you think of more and more bad things. Eventually, the thought that all of these bad demons in your mind should be gone with, and you know how. Just end your life. Is this really all that smart to think? At the time, yes. Taking your own life is all that you can do to save yourself, and all you can do to be happy. But when you don't go through with it, the idea of killing yourself just seems stupider and stupider. Eventually, you get over what you were thinking was bad, and you realize that you just were stupid, and you cant prevent those thoughts, but that isn't true. If you think about the times before when you knew taking your life was stupid, you will be able to stop yourself from doing it once again, something smart. I have been stupid about these things before, but I have slowly gotten better about it.

Barathemos : Thank you for posting, it seems we have all been there and can share this pain.

Eirinn : thank you for posting here, it takes courage, yes thank god you did not succeed, we would miss your presence here on Vizzed.

Razor-987 : Life can get really rough sometimes, I agree, what have you found works for you and gives you purpose to carry on.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR POSTS

There were many times when I felt like I wanted to take my own life but never actually done it. These horrible thoughts ran through my mind when I was only in middle school, I was picked on really bad and use to vanish where no one could find me. There was this one time I almost came close to stabbing myself with a huge shard of glass but I stopped myself cause I thought about my family the only people who really cared about me at the time. I felt really stupid and cried for a very long time and reflected on my actions. After that I have never attempted to do that EVER again. This is something I didn't like to bring up at all but now I just don't care cause this is something I have moved on from. For those that read this judge me all you want but you should know that this was my past self I am not that person anymore.

I also made an post way before this thread that relates to why I tried to attempted at doing something so stupid. I'm really glad I was strong enough to get past that horrible experience.

https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=51209&page=3

There was one point where I had a knife to my chest, ready to plunge into where (I thought) my heart was. I was only like 8 or 9, and it was because I was being told to buzz off from my close friends and cousins. I had wanted to play and they called me hurtful things. I went up to them, showed them the knife and claimed I was going to kill myself. They stopped me, yelled and told my mother, who laid seemed ready to cry while telling me never to do that again. I don't consider that a serious attempt, but it was the closest I had ever come to actually doing it.

In middle school is where I seriously contemplated it. I don't like to even think about middle school these days, because it was probably the most harsh and depressing time I had in my life. However, every time I considered actually doing it (and how easy I could do it too; a cup of coffee could potentially kill me thanks to a heart condition I have), I thought of my parents and just couldn't do it. I then made a vow that I would only kill myself when there was not a single person left that I know whom cares about me.

I knew at that time, that it's probably near impossible for me to be without at least one person whom cares about me, since I have a large family, had a dog at the time, and at least my cousins care about me, several younger and in good health. Nowadays, I also have friends online whom I know care for me, and made many friends.

Today, I'm wanting to live, quite a lot. No matter how down things get, there is too many things I want to do before I die, that I shove the idea of suicide out of mind. In fact, death frightens me quite a bit, because of how hurt I know some people will be.

Used to when I was little. I was a troubled kid at elementary not knowing a lot in the world. Some of my friends ignored me. I don't have those thoughts anymore but I have some thoughts about killing other people. I'm not a murderer yet and never will be.   

mariowin13 : What gets you so that you think you want to kill other people? Please tell us we have all been there and can share this with you so you don't have to carry it by yourself any longer.

ruesen : I am pleased you are pulling through, post here more and chat to us we are here for you.

cnw64 : I don't judge you I listen to everything you have to say. Never censor yourself and feel free to drop me a PM or post if times get tough again for you

I have thought about it twice in my life:
1st time was shortly after my parents got divorced. My dad turned to drinking, so that on top with his temper was not necessarily enjoyable. He became obsessed with baseball, and at the time he was my coach. The changes in my life + the way he acted + how young I was (I was about 6 years old) made me actually think about it, but not actually attempt it.
 
2nd time was when my friend himself committed suicide. It was completely unexpected. This was the spelling bee champ, strait A's, valedictorian, etc. He was Filipino with a brother and sister. His parents expected a lot of their children, and so when his brother went away for the army and his sister moved out for college, all their attention was on him. When I got the news, I thought about joining him for a couple days but never really became serious about it as I was always able to find something to distract me from the idea. RIP Alphonso.

I just want to say, if you are depressed and are contemplating suicide, please talk about it to someone. I am sure I would've snapped out of my depressions faster if I had talked about it. Maybe Alphonso would have too. He was the kind of kid you knew would become a rocket scientist or something. He seriously had the brightest future in the school.

Slythion : Thank you for your honesty, my heart is with you for sharing this. It takes courage. Many people I know have suffered this way too and it is really hard on all of us. Bless you.