Hello most users out there on Vizzed many of you know me as Sonic57 a staff member who can be level headed and try to help out many people on the site. What some of you may not know is that even though you may have seen previous posts about friends I've meet and how it was before I came onto this site there are still a few secrets I've kept hidden and the fact that I'm going to be doing a review all about truth in the next month why not talk about these things I've kept hidden from members and even close friends.

|!!WARNING!!!| - If  you are easily susceptible to sickness from seeing words like Blood or anything similar you may want to turn away now, since there will be some parts in here discussing this because of events that happened to me as a child. So without further ado let's begin *Rewinds clock hands*


   Well where should I begin, I was a young boy born on July 30th of 1996 and right from the start I wasn't being born on the best leaf of the fall trees as I was diagnosed with Epilepsy as a mere infant and they told me because of how Grand Mal (worst section of Epilepsy) it could be for me that I could have been disabled as a child. Fortunately I didn't have that happen to me as I never suffered any symptoms of this disease until 3rd Grade however there we a few events even before Kindergarten that I don't even remember due to the injury. Basically I believe from what I was told I was 3-4 years old, I was just having fun playing with normal youth toys (building blocks, Lego's, exc) and apparently I must've mad my older brother 6-7 maybe 8 years old wherein he grabbed a paperweight and smacked me on the head (my parents were working outside) until they heard very and I mean VERY LOUD screams from the living room where after about 12 seconds I feel unconscious due to blood loss from my head (as apparently it was just pouring out like no tomorrow). I was rushed to the hospital immediately and was put there just in time before any signs of loss would occur however; I don't even remember that happening to me at all and it's most likely due to the impact it had on my brain and that's where I started having problems occur with my seizures was after that day.

   During 3rd grade one day it was after school but my mom was working in my teachers class as an assistant helper and everything went fine that day, I didn't have a cold/fever/or any such sickness but right as I was packing up and ready to leave I had my backpack on and was
ready to go but I was just staring at the door and my mom kept asking me "if I was ok?" I didn't reply and instead only foamed at the mouth
and fell backwards hard and began having strong convulsions which both my teacher and mother noticed and came to the realization that it was in fact a Seizure and a bad one at that (like I said my epilepsy was grand mal which means my seizures were as well). I was AGAIN taken to the hospital and they only thing they could do was wait for me to regain consciousness which I did but all I could remember was asking my mother "Where's Mrs. Rowe? Why aren't we at the house?" Because even when I was 13-14 to now the only thing a Seizure at least to me feels like is falling asleep/passing out.

   Meh so what's the big deal Sonic? There are other people with more conditions than that grow up! Sorry admiral stockdale but I never did say this was my only condition/issues now did I? It's only the most common and frequent one therefore being the most important one. Not only do I have Epilepsy but I also can't learn things very quickly wherein something that should only take one year of schooling could take me 3-4 for example you learn Division in 3rd grade yet I never knew how to actually understand division until 7th grade which is a pretty long leap and I've always felt quite stupid because of it.  Ehh still not a big deal....ok fine then let's scroll forward to 5th grade when I first found out that I had a Tumor in my back that was cancerous and no joke was almost the size of a normal pillow which brought upon alot of pain especially when I tried sleeping as I had to have my back facing up without being bent downward otherwise it felt like somebody was putting a Katana into my back and pulling it back and forth unless I quit laying on my back like stated above.
   This wasn't the end to it either as just recently in 10th grade I found out that I had yet another tumor on my back that went cancerous, thankfully that was taken care of back in Feb as it laid malignant -non cancerous- for 3 years.prior.


   Ok ok, I guess you do have SOME problems but only 2 things really? Nope that's not the epilogue to this story either as when I was in 7th grade and walking around my house I had a weird feeling in my leg and all of the sudden I lost the ability to move forward and when I looked down I saw that my knee cap had been dislocated all the way to the left side of my left leg and I was scared and worried all at the same time as I thought "oh no, does this mean I won't ever be able to move on my feet again?! When we got to the hospital where they had to relocate it and soon afterwards I was in crutches. Sure this may not seem so bad at first but if only it could be so, if this had only happen that one time I would've been fine but this has happened 3 TIMES in my life. 1st time was at the house, 2nd time was at a family reunion, and the final time it happen was when I was going to the prom with my ex-girlfriend from 8th grade and everything was going fine until I placed my right foot outside of the car and I felt a certain twist again...
   I looked down of course and was like "not again, you've gotta be kidding me! Of all the days to fall on WHY NOW?" what's funny was this time unlike the previous two times I wasn't in as much pain as I was in shock since the only time my knee cap had ever gone out of place was on my left leg and NEVER on my right.

There's only one thing that I found out in 11th grade when visiting a doctor for my Seizures as we've been switching alot when most of the doctors (who I think are as smart as a flower that has wilted and been soiled with pigeon turd) said I didn't have epilepsy nor seizures when it's fact that I do as my parents have been there and the newest doctor I have even CONFIRMED THAT I DO HAVE THEM BOTH. I found out that because of the tumor's that I have had on my back I've also gained a diseased known as Scoliosis. So now almost everyday if I stand up for too long I get serious back issues and I need to rest for several hours before I can get better.

So that's everything I've had health wise but there's one another thing I'd like to talk about which you may remember from above with the paperweight subject, that's right my friendship with my brother.


   Now sure my relationship as it stands from the beginning of high school but especially when 10th grade hit around we both started to hang out with each other more and we never fight anymore and it's very rare if that ever happens in fact I think it's been at least 4 years or more since we fought. But yeah now I'm not afraid to be around him and can tell him anything without any fears, but when I was a child of 5 and below up until around 14+ I was terrified of him and everyday I would think about death and wonder "will I finally be killed today or will I still have a chance to be alive?" which is why ever since I was 10 I've always locked my door no matter how nice things may seem that day or if anyone isn't even in the house because I was so afraid for my life so I'd always wait for my bro to be gone and quickly go out in the kitchen to get something or go the bathroom and I'd run back to my room, if I saw him coming back I'd run in there lock my door and hide in my closet no matter how crammed it was in there as I always felt safer in there than anywhere else.
   Usually I would cry myself to sleep most night as about 6x out of 10x I was beaten up by my brother while my parents were at a store or some place that they had to go to alone (I remember one time I begged my dad to let me come to work with him since my mom was elsewhere just so that way I wouldn't be at the house).  So as I laid on my bed just wondering and asking over and over again "why can't I have a good friendship with my brother? I mean I'm nice to him, I always give him gifts over stuff that I could've bought for myself, and I never have done anything to irritate him really other than saying hi each day." It was a hard time for me but I'm glad that it's over and I'm no longer dealing with that. You may ask how did I ever escape that torture and how am I not a gloomy gus after all that happen to me? Well I'll gladly explain that you!

   Strangely enough even though It was painful and sad for me as a child I'm actually glad that everything above happen as it made me into the man I am today, a person filled with more courage and passion of helping others before myself so they don't have to be in any pain. Now onto the fact of how I actually dealt with the pain feel free to laugh and not believe what I say but the two things that actually helped me get over my pain back then and what has helped shaped me into the guy I am today are video games and anime. Specifically Link from the Legend of Zelda as in case you don't know I am a  HUGE  Zelda fan, so when I saw the character Link inside the games and how no matter how many times he fell from defeat he always got back up and continued his journey no matter how much pain he was in, I began to admire and wish to be exactly like him when I was younger.
   Secondly anime is what has helped alot in me ease of regrets and suffering because I learned and gained alot of wisdom from the kind of speech that they used in the shows and I loved every bit of it because it could be silly and very educational at the same time (mostly Case Closed/Detective Conan when I was 12). <--- that show helped me conquer my fear of talking to my brother at age 14 and also helped me learn things about death and how I can tell if something wrong when a death might have occurred with one of my friends so I was always watching it and paying close attention to every detail. Now the show that has made the most impact on my writing from 15+ and onward most definitely has to be BLEACH as they used such descriptive wording and speech that it honestly make me interested and chilled as well because they take things so calmly in the face of adversity and now my writing skills had just improved dramatically and I love writing reviews for this site now.

   One final point that I'd like to bring up is why I loved coming onto vizzed and how it changed my life personally, as many may not know but I used to live in California my hometown and I lived there for about 9 years and things went well with life over there although when I attended Kindergarten I was made fun of alot for 2 basic reasons: one was because of my heritage being French so I had a French accent at the beginning and I was made fun of saying "Why not go back to Europe croissant boy! Or hey why aren't you praising the Queen instead of living here?" Which did make me feel uneasy about my nationality, and the second thing was that I was made fun of for my epilepsy with people saying this like throwing a basketball at my head and saying "hey c'mon pick up the ball or are you too stupid to understand what the word ball or pick up means?" To which I handed them the ball and just let without giving them a single notice. To be honest I made quite a few friends though but after 5th grade I moved to Missouri which has to have been the biggest downfall in my life as not only were people here stranger and sometimes even ruder than in Cali but sooner or later I made friends and things were back on track until...
   It was at the middle of 8th grade that my dad had sent in his form of resignation as a teacher for the school district I was going to which meant I couldn't go there either since I didn't live in that town. So I wallowed back into the sadness I had been in before as I began to prepare for High School at home since I never wanted to go back to public school unless it was at that district again as that's the only place I ever felt comfortable in for the longest of times, which took a big toll on me want an estimate? Of all the Seizures I had in Cali I had about only 3 or 4 in those 9 years however; when I moved to Missouri and was stressed I had about 19-20 seizures in total from living here and all the stress I received and the elevation change here too. Now what does this have to do with Vizzed?

   Well that's because after high school began I was so bored with work and it all went by so quickly that I decided to find some N64 roms for the computer as our controllers were shot until 10 grade so I searched and found a 32X games collection for a site called Vizzed RGR and I went to go look in and found a great website with lots of free games and you had a free sign up too so I joined immediately. After about a year and a half on the site 6-2-2012 I met alot of great people on the site and decided that I might as well do something for the site since I had gained alot back from just being able to feel alive again on this site. I created my new identity as Sonic57 a boy who wasn't going to care about his past and only look towards the future for himself and others around him, at this same time though I did lose alot of real life friends so meeting new people was difficult on here as I was kind of untrustworthy for other for a few months until near the end of 2012 when I met some amazing friends who were all kind/caring/and considerate.  From there one forward I was looking forward to each day coming online and doing work as not only a member but a staff member as well and it felt amazing to know I could actually do something for other people instead of just myself as it's something I always wanted to do as a kid!
   Once I received my reviewing position though is when things really started to kick off as I never knew my writing would be so appreciate as it was and still is to this day, I figured it might be one glance and be a normal nothing special type review but the replies and likes that I received  were astronomical to me and I couldn't believe that it was real, and afterwards in the following year of summer 2013 I was really starting to bang with review summons and I couldn't have been any happier than at that moment as having the idea that people would always be watching my work from now on when it was posted was just mind-blowing to me (although not as mind blowing as that paperweight but whatever lol).


   By the end of 2013 (Oct - Dec) I began to enlist myself in becoming a counselor for my friends as I noticed alot of them were having issues and whenever I  tried talking to them about it they told me it was nothing or that everything was fine when clearly I heard from other friends that things were devastating so how did I eventually get their attention to let me help them? Simple I proved all of them wrong by helping out people I didn't even know in real life on here by giving them advice and letting them know that even though I may not be on 24/7 they can always leave me a message or talk to me whenever I'm online no matter what time it may be. From there one people on here, and unknown people on facebook or twitch have decided to come to me for assistance and I could only thank the friends on Vizzed for reinvigorating my spirit that I once carried around as a child....that smile I used to always carry on my face no matter what problems I may have had in front of me. All I can say is thank you to everyone on vizzed old and new, active and inactive! I'd like to list a few major friends on here that have made a big effort in making my life the way it is now filled with happiness and joy each day. |!!NOTICE!!| Just because your name may not be in the below segment with a big description it doesn't mean I think one bit less of you than I do for my other friends as everyone I've met on this site is important to me so now let's begin listing as this officially ends the story section but not the thankful part ! 



A user of this : Alright I have to start off with this guy as he's one of the closest friends you can get these days that you know won't leave you or abandon you no matter how stubborn you may get, plus I think we should also start with him since well his name starts with an a so as the alphabet goes A must always come first lol! |A|nyway if you meet this person on Vizzed and think about becoming his friend and he offers you a greeting you should definitely accept it as even though he may have a tough demeanor on the outside and may seem kind of wary or shielded about becoming close friends with you, when you get to know him and he opens up to you...not even an arrow of light could send him away from you as a friend since he'll stick to you like glue and that's a great thing as it shows he doesn't forget about you and values your friendship. Plus the way he cares about you once you're close with him is almost like how a brother would normally be to their brother (older or younger) which you don't see too often these days. Also one last thing user, thanks for not ratting me out completely or think that I was betraying your trust when I got close to the user below  V  and still managing to accept me as a friend otherwise it means alot and I was so worried the first time that you'd throw me off the bridge after that but instead you extended the rope further for me and we've become great friends like how we are now. So User you're a great bud and awesome bro too and don't ever forget that!

NintendoFanKimmy : There's so many things I could say to thank this girl for her caring friendship and fantastic days together before but I think the only true and great way to express how I feel is by these 7 words: Thank.You.For.Making.Me.Love.Again! As before I met her, I had lost the idea and concept of actually loving another girl with what had happened to me with 2 previous girls that I enjoyed being with. But when I met her she restored my faith in that department and after just a few days of knowing her I began to feel my feelings of passion light like a fire inside of me again and that's when my feelings became true and though the feelings have changed since March I will say that I'll never forget and will always cherish our time together with this lovely girl as she's one of the few girls I had met in a while that was kind and compassionate for others and especially at her age too that's quite an amazing feat. If you're thinking about becoming friends with this girl and are thinking hmm should I or shouldn't I, I'd give you a hammer and start pounding down onto the SHOULD button until it was broken as she's a friend you really need to make your life bright when it's dark.

Eniitan : I know I've said this many times before when mentioning this user and when talking with her too but 4 words can be said for her as well like with NFK her's being this: BEST.OLDER.SIS.EVER! I can promise you if you meet this girl PLEASE talk to her as she's one of the best users you can meet on Vizzed and I mean ONE OF THE BEST since she's so very caring and compassionate like how you would picture having the perfect sister to be . Yes she does have her own problems much like myself but that doesn't limit her love and care for other users and quite honestly just seeing her name or a message from her will brighten up your day no matter how cloudy or rainy it may be. I also have thought of her as a big sis to me as well because she's done so much to make me happy in such a small amount of time and I'm always glad that I can help her each day proving to her that she's a great girl when she begins to doubt herself or her creative potential. Eni if you're hopefully reading this please know that I won't ever put an end to this friendship nor would I ever want to as you mean the world to me as a sis and everyday talking with you is just amazing and puts a smile on my face ^.^ I love you big sis Eni! Thank you fro everything.

Those were the main ones I wanted to give thanks to but there are still plenty of others that are worth mentioning!

Gamin'Gal: Just like with Kimmy and Eni, even though I've only know her for a short while I know that she's an amazing and fun friend to be around since she love to joke around you with you and just be silly which reminds me of myself in a way ^^ which is why I connect with her really well and why I also consider her to be like a sister to me as well :3 and I'm not sure if she feels the same but just know that you're a great friend and good reviewer to boot as well ^-^ I wish you the best with the present and your future as well Gamin' *hugs*


Singelli : Even though I don't know you as well I can tell you're an extremely nice and kind woman as I know you've helped Eniitan alot before when I couldn't and plenty of other users as well including myself with layouts and even my own feelings as well ^^! I know you're most likely busy but I hope you'll get the chance to see this and just know that you're a great friend to have and I wish you the best with everything that you have going on!

Eirinn : Know you've been having computer issues but you're also one of the reasons why I keep writing my reviews and a Major reason why I asked to have a Review Reviewer position as well since I figured it'd be fun to work closer with you as you're a really cool man with a great personality and caring attitude and knowing when to separate jokes between seriousness. I'm glad that I have you as my partner as you're a great one and were very understanding and welcoming when I was new to the position and didn't know really what I was supposed to do x3. So thanks Eirinn and best of luck to you with getting your network set up nicely again.

TornadoMudkip : Just like with Singelli, I don't know her very well but I can tell she's a great and kind girl to be around and I already love talking to her just about everyday or whenever we both get the chance ^.^ I wish I could think of more to talk about with her but usually I draw blanks after a while. I really hope we can know each other more and that I can think of more things to talk about with her tehehe ^^ anyway I care about her alot and I actually do think of her as a younger sis to me always managing to spark that one little smile in me everyday.

This is getting long so I'm going to list other users that I'd like to give thanks to.

camjim12 : Thank you camjm!

GenesisJunkie : Thank You Genesis!

EideticMemory : Thank You Eidetic!

Razor-987 : Thank you Razor!

DenzGamer135 : Thank You DenzGamer!

Sidewinder : Thank You Sidewinder!

iN008 : Thank you iN008!

Barathemos : Thank You Bara!

zanderlex : Thank you zanderlex!

kirbmanboggle : Thank you kirbman!

deg2000 : Thank you Deg!

greenluigi : Thank you Green!

and most importantly...

THANK YOU  VIZZED FOR CHANGING MY LIFE!

I can't spell or play nice, so the Mods edited my post for me.

Sugarpants : nah how about you fall down a well first.

As it turns out, I actually did have time to read through your post this time!  I'm glad you summoned me to it, as people are very fascinating to learn about.  I actually dated a guy who had epilepsy as well, and I often witnessed them and had to help him through them.  He had to take 30+ pills a day to even help maintain it at a bearable level.  In fact, he had a seizure on the day of our prom, and I majorly embarrassed myself because I got terribly upset, thinking he had left me on the night of prom.

As for your kneecaps, why would they just dislocate?  O.o I've never heard of any such thing!

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. Although my twin never beat up on me, we have never really gotten along, and she's actually banished me and the rest of my family from her life. I know it's not easy to have a sibling you can't connect with.

Singelli : yeah it certainly is a rough thing to go through but I try to manage my life by pursing it through, honestly the doctor's have never been quite sure on that but I had to have surgery on both legs because of it and I haven't had any issues since then let's just say it looks very strange.

It's fine since he and I get along perfectly now and he's apologized soooo many times for what he did to me in the past, it sure wasn't easy but just like with my other problems I knew I'd make it through. And now look at where I ended up I now have amazing friends like user and you Sngelli .

*Sniffs* That was just.....beautiful sonic....you may had your ups and downs but, you fought and fight during that painful time of yours...I am so proud of you. Remember to always be yourself no matter what someone says to you in a bad way. And always stay strong. ^-^

Eniitan : Thanks Eni I always wanted to make sure and try my best as a child because if I hadn't how would I have been able to meet up with you? I'll always be the same guy blue and true no matter what anyone says to me and because I have alot of friends like you sis to look after I'm definitely going to stay strong no matter what happens as you, user, kimmy, and a whole bunch of others mean more than anything to me and I wouldn't trade of friendship for anything. 

Aand then I cried.

Gamin'Gal : awww thank you gamin' ^^ I'm glad I can be a role model to you and as you read I'm very very happy to have had the lucky chance and fate to meet you ! 

sonicthehedgehog57:

        Wow. I mean, wow. That, Sonic, was beautifully written, and I enjoyed every second of it despite it being sad during a lot of the parts. I'm terribly sorry to hear you've gone through everything mentioned in this thread, Sonic, but I felt that much happier plus more when I learned that you were strong enough overcome all of that. I was sad to hear about your brother; I am now thankful that  I have a wonderful twin who would never even think of doing something as atrocious that. Your courage and determination to continue pressing on makes me admire you even more, and I'm lucky to have a such a kind, strong-willed friend like you, Sonic.  Thanks you truck loads for the section on me; I appreciate the compliments you've given, and, as I'm sure you know what I'm going to say, I return them all to you, too, bro ! Keep on trying, and pursue your goals like there's no tomorrow. Push aside all doubts and learn that it's okay to fall down along the path to perfection, because usually, the more obstacles you encounter along the way, the more it will be worth it at the end.

A user of this:

        Ugh, as usual, I am positive that this summon is going to fail, but I just wanted to say that nearly everything mentioned in Sonic's description of how great of a friend you are is something I agree with entirely. You are an excellent friend, and it's difficult to imagine anyone better than you, User. Sonic took the words right out of my mouth there, and he hit it spot-on .

Sugarpants:

A little ironic that someone by the username of Sugarpants is calling someone else gay, eh?

sonicthehedgehog57 : Wow... That was wonderful to read! It must be hard to be you that time. But you never gave up, that's why you could move on! Thanks to watching Link in video games. He doesn't give up and stands up every time again. You sure are a strong boy!  I'm so glad for you that Vizzed changed your hard life.

Saying nice things about me again? Aww.. That's sweet! I really enjoyed to read what you wrote down for me. The reason why I don't talk that much is because I'm still very shy just like when I recently signed up. I hope you don't mind about that.

NintendoFanKimmy : Well alot of people do say I can write a book in my own regards with the way that I talk, and like I said even though it was hard I'm glad I went through everything I did because it shaped me into who am today I'm glad I could have someone like you admiring me ^^. I know I'll always chase my dreams no matter how difficult they may seem and even if one doesn't work out I still have many others to think of, and well you definitely know one of my goals ^-^.


TornadoMudkip : Yeah it was but as funny as it may be a video game character helped me through everything (and one anime character). I think I'm averagely strong but far from the strongest, most of my strength lies in my mental field and not so much physical anymore, because of what happened in the past. well of course you're one of my best my so why wouldn't I write about you silly ^.^, I'm glad you enjoyed it all and thank you for taking the time to read this. That's fine if you're shy because I'm not exactly the wookpecker to  the tree either but I am trying to get better at it, I've noticed something funny and sort of cute too that alot of the times most of shy people that I meet end up being one of the best friends you could ever have.

Wow, it sounds like you've been through quite a bit in your life. I don't really know what else to say except that I'm glad your health problems are better (for the most part) and that you have a much closer relationship with your brother. I did read all of it because, honestly, what kind of a friend would I be if I didn't ? Also, I'm sorry I haven't really had time to talk to you lately. Maybe this weekend we can chat for a bit if you want to?

Late replies are so much fun! Sorry about that...again.

Thanks, man. You said a lot if kind things about me that I'm not sure I deserved, but it meant a lot to me.

Hearing your story was interesting for sure, and gave me a better idea of who you are and what you're like. That's always nice (well...almost always. Some people I'd rather not know so well ), especially with people you know online, since you know next to nothing about them unless they do so. Hopefully we can communicate a little better once I get my connection issues worked out a little.

Eirinn : It's all right I still have a few people just replying to this now so you're not too late, well I think you deserve every bit since you are one of the first Local Moderators I met on this site that looked at my reviews. 

Yeah and based on that story you can see why I am the kind of person I am now and hopefully we can talk more once your issues get sorted out with the connections.

sonicthehedgehog57 : well what a story was pretty deep i feel bad for you like seriously i'm not being sarcastic and thanks for thanking me sorry i havn't got around to commenting a little busy but not on vizzed i really don't get any kind of notification on vizzed its kinda bad i'm bored

kirbmanboggle : Eh like I said to other people I'm actually kind of glad this happened since it strengthened me and motivated me even more to help others. It's cool I understand I haven't really been that free either. 

sonicthehedgehog57 :

Wow, congratulations to you, for making it through all that.

Trial doesn't destroy us, it only makes us better.


I'm sorry that it took so long to respond to this. I've had a lot to do.

I got a few things out of that in my own life, but I haven't had to deal with anything like you have.


Ya know, Vizzed is a lot better of a site than most. People really do care around here. Other forums just suck in comparison with member quality. That's why I'll stay around here.

I'll say it again, congratulations sonic!