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03-28-24 06:58 PM

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Emos. Wanting to commit suicide over stupid things
We all know they just making it as an excuse to get attention.
Life,
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Emos. Wanting to commit suicide over stupid things

 

07-28-11 11:30 PM
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Well guys, I feel like ranting about something. I want to hear what you have to say on the matter.

Emos... I really can't stand those types of people. They drive me nuts. When it comes to life problems. They want to cut themselves or commit suicide just because that, oh, lets say that their life sucks or something doesn't go right. Well guess what? Some people goes through a lot worse. Some people grows up in a family who abused them, neglected them and starved and those people still come out as great happy go lucky people and still loves life. I grew up in a poor family. My father would always beat on my mother when I was only a child. I came to two near deaths as a child. One was from my dad throwing a jack in the back windshield of the car coming inches from hitting me in the head and the other was from a dog attack. We can hardly keep food in the fridge and sometimes literally go without food for a few days and we starve. Yet. I'm not all emotional about and want to kill myself over it. I still have family that loves me and fighting with me over our crisis. So tell me. Why should I end my life over that? It just makes the bond stronger. It makes us stronger. Yet, these emos think their lives are worse. Yeah, some are, but it's mostly for attention. They crave for attention. I only got one thing to say to them. GROW UP! DEAL WITH LIFE'S PROBLEM! Life is not supposed to be the easiest thing in the world. It's just life's challenge.

Well, I got all I wanted to say off my chest. Feel free to share  your thoughts about it. I don't care if it's in the defense for emos... Phew, I feel better now. Haha!
Well guys, I feel like ranting about something. I want to hear what you have to say on the matter.

Emos... I really can't stand those types of people. They drive me nuts. When it comes to life problems. They want to cut themselves or commit suicide just because that, oh, lets say that their life sucks or something doesn't go right. Well guess what? Some people goes through a lot worse. Some people grows up in a family who abused them, neglected them and starved and those people still come out as great happy go lucky people and still loves life. I grew up in a poor family. My father would always beat on my mother when I was only a child. I came to two near deaths as a child. One was from my dad throwing a jack in the back windshield of the car coming inches from hitting me in the head and the other was from a dog attack. We can hardly keep food in the fridge and sometimes literally go without food for a few days and we starve. Yet. I'm not all emotional about and want to kill myself over it. I still have family that loves me and fighting with me over our crisis. So tell me. Why should I end my life over that? It just makes the bond stronger. It makes us stronger. Yet, these emos think their lives are worse. Yeah, some are, but it's mostly for attention. They crave for attention. I only got one thing to say to them. GROW UP! DEAL WITH LIFE'S PROBLEM! Life is not supposed to be the easiest thing in the world. It's just life's challenge.

Well, I got all I wanted to say off my chest. Feel free to share  your thoughts about it. I don't care if it's in the defense for emos... Phew, I feel better now. Haha!
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07-28-11 11:36 PM
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The one thing I noticed is that people like this are just dying to get attention. They have to be in the spotlight and their 'Problems' are more important than yours.

Best thing I know what to do is avoid hanging out with people like that. If they want to wallow in their own self pity, then let them do it. Don't acknowledge them at all and move on.

I had several people I knew do this when I was in my last year in high school and I stopped talking to them. They went to their little groups and I stayed in my group without the worry of hearing how much my friend's life sucks.

I tend to ignore stuff like that. Let them waste life saying negative stuff like that.
The one thing I noticed is that people like this are just dying to get attention. They have to be in the spotlight and their 'Problems' are more important than yours.

Best thing I know what to do is avoid hanging out with people like that. If they want to wallow in their own self pity, then let them do it. Don't acknowledge them at all and move on.

I had several people I knew do this when I was in my last year in high school and I stopped talking to them. They went to their little groups and I stayed in my group without the worry of hearing how much my friend's life sucks.

I tend to ignore stuff like that. Let them waste life saying negative stuff like that.
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07-28-11 11:43 PM
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Bitmap : EXACTLY! I have it bad in my life, but I'm not complaining about it. I'm doing something about it. I'm fighting with my family to put food on the table. I come form a poor family and sometimes we go without eating because we don't have the money to feed us, but that's not making it so hard to the point we just want to end it all. No, I can't stand people like that. I have a few friends who would always tell me that they are going to end it all. Being an jerk at that time. I told him *(You're going to kill yourself because your life sucks? Well quit talking about and do it you waste of space. If not. Quit complaining about it and be strong. Move on and continue to fight)* I don't hesitate to speak my mind and I don't care if it's harsh, but sometimes it's necessary to be blunt about it. 
Bitmap : EXACTLY! I have it bad in my life, but I'm not complaining about it. I'm doing something about it. I'm fighting with my family to put food on the table. I come form a poor family and sometimes we go without eating because we don't have the money to feed us, but that's not making it so hard to the point we just want to end it all. No, I can't stand people like that. I have a few friends who would always tell me that they are going to end it all. Being an jerk at that time. I told him *(You're going to kill yourself because your life sucks? Well quit talking about and do it you waste of space. If not. Quit complaining about it and be strong. Move on and continue to fight)* I don't hesitate to speak my mind and I don't care if it's harsh, but sometimes it's necessary to be blunt about it. 
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07-28-11 11:57 PM
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What makes one person an emo and another person not? I'm pretty sure we are all emo if you put it into perspective. I guess emos in school terms can be classified as the ones who cut their wrists or wear tight jeans and floppy hair. But I've seen more people who would be classified as emo and don't fit the stereotypical description of it.

If you want to see a real emo just go to a bar, I assure you its worse there then in school especially if your sober. You will see how emo people become with booze. I don't even have to leave my apartment to hear emos, I hear black ones outside fighting all the time.

Everyone is emo, some are more apparent then others. If you freak out over a video game or laugh at something funny, or show any expression whatsoever well then... what makes you any different then the emos you talk about
What makes one person an emo and another person not? I'm pretty sure we are all emo if you put it into perspective. I guess emos in school terms can be classified as the ones who cut their wrists or wear tight jeans and floppy hair. But I've seen more people who would be classified as emo and don't fit the stereotypical description of it.

If you want to see a real emo just go to a bar, I assure you its worse there then in school especially if your sober. You will see how emo people become with booze. I don't even have to leave my apartment to hear emos, I hear black ones outside fighting all the time.

Everyone is emo, some are more apparent then others. If you freak out over a video game or laugh at something funny, or show any expression whatsoever well then... what makes you any different then the emos you talk about
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07-29-11 04:24 AM
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Not to say I find this offensive because I do agree with you that people do these things for attention. Whether its because they want to be noticed or its a cry for help, its not the deal. What I find offensive is that you would judge and label someone because of something as petty as saying they have a problem or looking different from anyone else. I seriously think there is a better way to cope with problems than to go out and harm yourself, but maybe thats why they need help and we shouldn't be judging them from the beginning by labeling them outcasts.

My life from the age of one has been nothing but a big mess, I could say I have a really screwed up life considering my family issues. [not much unlike your own, except there are more incidents that I wouldn't even want to describe on here.] I'm usually one of the happiest people you could meet. Still, I have a lot of friends just like this, who would be classified as "emos" by everyone else. It doesn't make them any different other than the way they look. I'm not the kind of person to judge someone else, my past experiences let me relate with the person. I don't have to listen to their problems, but some of them actually do need advice on issues. I have no problem giving my two cents, much like I'm doing now.
Not to say I find this offensive because I do agree with you that people do these things for attention. Whether its because they want to be noticed or its a cry for help, its not the deal. What I find offensive is that you would judge and label someone because of something as petty as saying they have a problem or looking different from anyone else. I seriously think there is a better way to cope with problems than to go out and harm yourself, but maybe thats why they need help and we shouldn't be judging them from the beginning by labeling them outcasts.

My life from the age of one has been nothing but a big mess, I could say I have a really screwed up life considering my family issues. [not much unlike your own, except there are more incidents that I wouldn't even want to describe on here.] I'm usually one of the happiest people you could meet. Still, I have a lot of friends just like this, who would be classified as "emos" by everyone else. It doesn't make them any different other than the way they look. I'm not the kind of person to judge someone else, my past experiences let me relate with the person. I don't have to listen to their problems, but some of them actually do need advice on issues. I have no problem giving my two cents, much like I'm doing now.
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07-29-11 07:25 AM
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Jigsaw's right, everyone is emo. We get emotional once in a while, but it doesn't mean we're the kind of emo who cut and try to kill themselves. 
Jigsaw's right, everyone is emo. We get emotional once in a while, but it doesn't mean we're the kind of emo who cut and try to kill themselves. 
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07-29-11 12:12 PM
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mikedavike28 : I'm normally not like this, but I can agree with you. I've actually tried to give some advice to some of my old friends that I consider "emo" Yet, they refused to listen and ignore my advice. That's when I tell them to put up or shut  up. I'm the type that's not afraid to speak my mind, even the harsh ones. I had a friend that wanted to commit suicide just because things wasn't going right for him. No one is perfect that's for sure. We all have our flaws., but that doesn't mean their life is worse than others. I rarely label people. I hate doing that actually, but when it comes to life's problem. It tends to rub me the wrong way and I sometimes go over board with it, that I admit. I'm  mainly saying. It's still no excuse to kill yourself to escape life's problems. It's the lowest you can go in my opinion.

Juliet : I know Jigsaw is right, but I've never been to a bar, so I can't say anything, but the kinds of emos I see. It's mainly the ones I speak of. It's just gets annoying to me sometimes.
mikedavike28 : I'm normally not like this, but I can agree with you. I've actually tried to give some advice to some of my old friends that I consider "emo" Yet, they refused to listen and ignore my advice. That's when I tell them to put up or shut  up. I'm the type that's not afraid to speak my mind, even the harsh ones. I had a friend that wanted to commit suicide just because things wasn't going right for him. No one is perfect that's for sure. We all have our flaws., but that doesn't mean their life is worse than others. I rarely label people. I hate doing that actually, but when it comes to life's problem. It tends to rub me the wrong way and I sometimes go over board with it, that I admit. I'm  mainly saying. It's still no excuse to kill yourself to escape life's problems. It's the lowest you can go in my opinion.

Juliet : I know Jigsaw is right, but I've never been to a bar, so I can't say anything, but the kinds of emos I see. It's mainly the ones I speak of. It's just gets annoying to me sometimes.
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07-29-11 02:09 PM
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I do not like emos either they just seem to want things. They always pretend like life is so hard for them. I just am like "Shut the f*** up, want a hard life move to Africa. " I hate emos they piss me off.
I do not like emos either they just seem to want things. They always pretend like life is so hard for them. I just am like "Shut the f*** up, want a hard life move to Africa. " I hate emos they piss me off.
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07-29-11 02:15 PM
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billythekidmonster : omg I read ur post and I choked because I thought it was funny in a way ... but its not the emo people well the kind most people call "emo" have problems want attention ect. its quite funny though because there is a whole possie of emos at my school one cut him self during class (wrists) and everyone was laughing at it but personaly its sad some people are like that I didnt laugh but I did wondor how he cut himself
billythekidmonster : omg I read ur post and I choked because I thought it was funny in a way ... but its not the emo people well the kind most people call "emo" have problems want attention ect. its quite funny though because there is a whole possie of emos at my school one cut him self during class (wrists) and everyone was laughing at it but personaly its sad some people are like that I didnt laugh but I did wondor how he cut himself
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07-29-11 04:55 PM
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First of all... I don't think someone's style of dress necessarily reflects how likely they are to feign suicidal and self-harmful thoughts in order to get attention. That is prejudice. Am I a "suicidal" attention-seeker because I like to wear skinny jeans, fishnet gloves and band shirts? No. Definitely not. So I don't think that should be factored in at all.

I do think anyone who feigns suicidal thoughts for attention does have issues. They may not actually want to end their life, but anyone who does that probably does have a very troubled life. Especially people who physically hurt themselves for attention. So EITHER WAY, whether or not they actually want to die, that is messed up and they likely need help

Furthermore... Some people's pain is very real whether or not you are able to understand it. If someone confesses to you that they're suicidal, please don't take it lightly. Especially if they are physically hurting themselves. The right thing to do in that situation, no matter how much the person trusts you not to tell, is to inform someone who will do something about it. For example, your parents, their parents, a school counselor.

If you want to kill yourself, you have to keep in mind that after that point, you will be DEAD. And you will feel NOTHING, especially not relief or happiness, which is what you need. If you are dead, you will not see yourself happy again. It is not going to heal your pain. It is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem.
First of all... I don't think someone's style of dress necessarily reflects how likely they are to feign suicidal and self-harmful thoughts in order to get attention. That is prejudice. Am I a "suicidal" attention-seeker because I like to wear skinny jeans, fishnet gloves and band shirts? No. Definitely not. So I don't think that should be factored in at all.

I do think anyone who feigns suicidal thoughts for attention does have issues. They may not actually want to end their life, but anyone who does that probably does have a very troubled life. Especially people who physically hurt themselves for attention. So EITHER WAY, whether or not they actually want to die, that is messed up and they likely need help

Furthermore... Some people's pain is very real whether or not you are able to understand it. If someone confesses to you that they're suicidal, please don't take it lightly. Especially if they are physically hurting themselves. The right thing to do in that situation, no matter how much the person trusts you not to tell, is to inform someone who will do something about it. For example, your parents, their parents, a school counselor.

If you want to kill yourself, you have to keep in mind that after that point, you will be DEAD. And you will feel NOTHING, especially not relief or happiness, which is what you need. If you are dead, you will not see yourself happy again. It is not going to heal your pain. It is a permanent solution to a TEMPORARY problem.
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I don't believe it is necessary to kill your self in the first place but killing your self for a stupid reason is just idiotic and vary selfish because you are leaving your family behind for some reason
I don't believe it is necessary to kill your self in the first place but killing your self for a stupid reason is just idiotic and vary selfish because you are leaving your family behind for some reason
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07-29-11 05:47 PM
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hnnn : It was the African part wasn't it? Anyway I just do not like emos complaining a lot, this is one of my huge pet peeves and it gets on my nerves fast.

As far as your story, WOW. That kid deserves attention because he needs help. 0_0
hnnn : It was the African part wasn't it? Anyway I just do not like emos complaining a lot, this is one of my huge pet peeves and it gets on my nerves fast.

As far as your story, WOW. That kid deserves attention because he needs help. 0_0
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Annette : I couldn't tell completely how much I agree with your post. You don't go around and hear people with happy lives saying "Oh, I'm going to go cut myself." More than likely, it will be those with some kind of distress that's causing them to say these kinds of things. Sure, they might be attention-hungry, but in most cases, I would appreciate them being there rather than in a grave just because you told them to shut the hell up and move on.

Really, what I'm trying to say is, whether or not they're looking for attention specifically, cutting yourself is still cutting yourself and they deserve the help they need.
Annette : I couldn't tell completely how much I agree with your post. You don't go around and hear people with happy lives saying "Oh, I'm going to go cut myself." More than likely, it will be those with some kind of distress that's causing them to say these kinds of things. Sure, they might be attention-hungry, but in most cases, I would appreciate them being there rather than in a grave just because you told them to shut the hell up and move on.

Really, what I'm trying to say is, whether or not they're looking for attention specifically, cutting yourself is still cutting yourself and they deserve the help they need.
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Don't get me wrong guys. I'm not completely heartless. I've tried my hardest to give him advice to keep from that happening, but he didn't want to hear it from me. This was a few years back though. He poured his heart out at me and of course I'm going to sit there and try to help him out, but he's like "it doesn't matter. My family doesn't love me. They all hate me." Well, I hate to break it to you, but I've talked to his parents before and they told me they love him. It's called TOUGH LOVE. They only did that, because he was a spoiled kid and used to get every thing his way until his parents gotten tired of it. That's why I was so angry about that, because he wanted to end it over something like that.

I have told his parents about what was going on and that resulted in the last time he talked to me. So I don't know what happened to him. Yeah, there are people who have real trouble and actually needs help, but as I said before, there's still no excuse to kill yourself over life's problem. There's always a better way to go with it and get some help, but most people are just too stubborn.
Don't get me wrong guys. I'm not completely heartless. I've tried my hardest to give him advice to keep from that happening, but he didn't want to hear it from me. This was a few years back though. He poured his heart out at me and of course I'm going to sit there and try to help him out, but he's like "it doesn't matter. My family doesn't love me. They all hate me." Well, I hate to break it to you, but I've talked to his parents before and they told me they love him. It's called TOUGH LOVE. They only did that, because he was a spoiled kid and used to get every thing his way until his parents gotten tired of it. That's why I was so angry about that, because he wanted to end it over something like that.

I have told his parents about what was going on and that resulted in the last time he talked to me. So I don't know what happened to him. Yeah, there are people who have real trouble and actually needs help, but as I said before, there's still no excuse to kill yourself over life's problem. There's always a better way to go with it and get some help, but most people are just too stubborn.
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07-29-11 06:48 PM
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billythekidmonster : yes really I almost choked on that comment but its sad that there are people like that craving attention like that
billythekidmonster : yes really I almost choked on that comment but its sad that there are people like that craving attention like that
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I don't understand people who are "emo". Yeah we all may be like that one some level, but some people take it too far. Like a girl I knew after graduating high school. She thought it was cool and tried to get me to cut myself. I wasn't for it. Life is bad at times, but it can also be good. It's just how life is. But doesn't mean anything is worth taking your own life.
I don't understand people who are "emo". Yeah we all may be like that one some level, but some people take it too far. Like a girl I knew after graduating high school. She thought it was cool and tried to get me to cut myself. I wasn't for it. Life is bad at times, but it can also be good. It's just how life is. But doesn't mean anything is worth taking your own life.
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07-30-11 11:35 AM
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I think generalizing about any type of person like this is dangerous. Not everyone who cuts themselves are doing it just for the attention.

Elara : you have some perspective on this...



as for the suicide thing.... it's very possible they constantly agonize over the decision and having someone to talk to about it prevents them from doing it. Everyone copes in their own way. When I was suicidal I didn't talk to ANYONE about it. I kept it to myself. I put on a happy face and pretended that everything was fine. That didn't mean I wasn't craving attention but I went about getting it differently.
I think generalizing about any type of person like this is dangerous. Not everyone who cuts themselves are doing it just for the attention.

Elara : you have some perspective on this...



as for the suicide thing.... it's very possible they constantly agonize over the decision and having someone to talk to about it prevents them from doing it. Everyone copes in their own way. When I was suicidal I didn't talk to ANYONE about it. I kept it to myself. I put on a happy face and pretended that everything was fine. That didn't mean I wasn't craving attention but I went about getting it differently.
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07-30-11 01:43 PM
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geeogree : Thanks.

While there are people out there that do this for attention, it is not all of them and I honestly think that anyone that laughs at it should feel ashamed. That goes for ALL of you! With very few exceptions, the pain that these people feel is real but they don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if your buddy is faking it or not, though it sounds more like he's just being stubborn and childish and he thinks this is the best way to have his parents cave. But there could be other things in there. Hopefully he will thank you in time for getting his parents to talk to him, and hopefully they work out their problems.

That bit said... not everyone that cuts themselves does it for attention. Know how I know that? Because I was a cutter. And for the record I've never worn the "emo" style nor ever considered myself one... if anything I've been more of a Goth... though a lazy Goth since I didn't bother with the ornamentation and crap.

You know why I cut? Because I was largely numb, and the cutting made me feel alive, and I liked watching the blood. I liked the pain. I may or may not have been clinically depressed. I didn't run off when I was upset saying "I'm gonna cut myself", I just did it, randomly. Sometimes, when I was upset or frustrated I would also do it as a way to vent, because the physical pain proved to be a distraction from the emotional pain. I never threatened to kill myself... though I did try to once long before the cutting started. I didn't flaunt the cuts, I hid them. I wore long sleeve shirts when I did them on my forearms, though mostly I did them on my upper arms, my legs, and a few on my stomach. I also dug my nails into my arms when I was in places where I couldn't actually cut... I have long nails. The one time I didn't hide the cuts, I got sent to a therapist that sucked at his job, so I made sure to do so afterward. If you have a friend that cuts and hides it like that, chances are they are not doing it for attention, just saying that now.

I would talk to my friends about my problems, and it helped a lot, but they couldn't fix everything and some things they caused... but even if that helped there were times when I really didn't have anyone to talk to. My friends would lecture me when they saw the scars, and I truly felt bad... but at that point it really was an addiction. Some people skydive or skateboard for their adrenaline, I induced physical pain.

I wasn't morose or depressed all of the time. In fact I was a hyper little nerd that loved laughing a lot. But I still cut, and I still felt like crap inside. Finally one day, after going through a lot of problems which I don't want to talk about in such a public place, I hit the point where I realized that the cutting only distracted from the pain for a little bit, then I was left with both the physical pain and the emotional pain, plus the guilt of worrying my friends. I had been preparing the knife, and I put it away instead.

Since then I have looked back and looked at other people, and I've made some observations. The people that cut.... the serious ones, were usually the victims of emotional, sexual, or psychological abuse. Natas, you talk about how your life was tough and you went through a lot of bad times, but most of the abuse you went through was physical. Most people that go through physical abuse don't end up cutting (though it does happen), because straight physical abuse acts on the mind differently, you get the fight back mentality. The be tougher than them and they will back off outlook. Am I right? I know that when I was subjected to physical abuse that was my immediate response. But the other stuff, it does the opposite. You feel helpless, you try to fight but that little dark side of your psyche, the part that discourages you and tells you that you can't do it, that part of you is stronger when you've gone through the mental abuse. It feels like you have no control over what happens to you, and then things like cutting become appealing because it is a way to seize some kind of control. Yes, you are inflicting pain on yourself, but you are the one doing it, not someone else, so it goes as far as you say it does. Is it unhealthy? Yes, very. But in my case it was a stepping stone that I used to crawl out of that pit because it let me see other ways to get my control back.

People that haven't gone through it have a hard time understanding it, mostly because they only see what is going on outside. They see the cuts and the scars, that is all. And so they judge, just like all of you have done. This stuff happened long before "emos" came about, and it will be here long after that fad as gone away. Telling people "suck it up" doesn't help when they are in that pit, because they really do not feel that they can. You have to go about it a different way. They might be stubborn, they might insist it is pointless but that is because they are broken and that little devil on their shoulder has convinced them it is true. No matter how frustrating it is, remember that there is more going on in their mind than you know. They have gone through things that you do not know about, because even if they share some of it I can tell you right now that they never share it all. You all know that I am fairly open about my past, I bring it up all the time, but even when I tell stories I leave out details that are too painful. Even posts where I give a lot of details, like here or a few others that come to mind, I have left things out. You can talk about an event that happened, but you don't describe every detail, every second, how exactly you felt or what you were thinking. Natas can tell us his dad beat his mom, but he doesn't tell us just how much it affected him, and I wouldn't expect him to.

I suppose that the point of this long ramble is that I feel that you people are far too quick to judge. Not all emos cut, not all who cut are emos... you cannot guess psychological profile based on a fashion choice. Not all that cut do it for attention, and even if they do it may not be the type of attention that you all seem to think it is. "Oh they just want attention"... they want help, don't laugh at them, talk to them! You laugh at a guy that cuts himself and it just reinforces that little voice's claims that no one cares. That is how things like Columbine ended up happening.

I am hopeful that if you've read all this, you leave this thread with a bit more understanding of cutters. Maybe it will change your perspective of them, maybe it won't. All I ask is that you look a bit closer before you just slap them with a label and walk away.
geeogree : Thanks.

While there are people out there that do this for attention, it is not all of them and I honestly think that anyone that laughs at it should feel ashamed. That goes for ALL of you! With very few exceptions, the pain that these people feel is real but they don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if your buddy is faking it or not, though it sounds more like he's just being stubborn and childish and he thinks this is the best way to have his parents cave. But there could be other things in there. Hopefully he will thank you in time for getting his parents to talk to him, and hopefully they work out their problems.

That bit said... not everyone that cuts themselves does it for attention. Know how I know that? Because I was a cutter. And for the record I've never worn the "emo" style nor ever considered myself one... if anything I've been more of a Goth... though a lazy Goth since I didn't bother with the ornamentation and crap.

You know why I cut? Because I was largely numb, and the cutting made me feel alive, and I liked watching the blood. I liked the pain. I may or may not have been clinically depressed. I didn't run off when I was upset saying "I'm gonna cut myself", I just did it, randomly. Sometimes, when I was upset or frustrated I would also do it as a way to vent, because the physical pain proved to be a distraction from the emotional pain. I never threatened to kill myself... though I did try to once long before the cutting started. I didn't flaunt the cuts, I hid them. I wore long sleeve shirts when I did them on my forearms, though mostly I did them on my upper arms, my legs, and a few on my stomach. I also dug my nails into my arms when I was in places where I couldn't actually cut... I have long nails. The one time I didn't hide the cuts, I got sent to a therapist that sucked at his job, so I made sure to do so afterward. If you have a friend that cuts and hides it like that, chances are they are not doing it for attention, just saying that now.

I would talk to my friends about my problems, and it helped a lot, but they couldn't fix everything and some things they caused... but even if that helped there were times when I really didn't have anyone to talk to. My friends would lecture me when they saw the scars, and I truly felt bad... but at that point it really was an addiction. Some people skydive or skateboard for their adrenaline, I induced physical pain.

I wasn't morose or depressed all of the time. In fact I was a hyper little nerd that loved laughing a lot. But I still cut, and I still felt like crap inside. Finally one day, after going through a lot of problems which I don't want to talk about in such a public place, I hit the point where I realized that the cutting only distracted from the pain for a little bit, then I was left with both the physical pain and the emotional pain, plus the guilt of worrying my friends. I had been preparing the knife, and I put it away instead.

Since then I have looked back and looked at other people, and I've made some observations. The people that cut.... the serious ones, were usually the victims of emotional, sexual, or psychological abuse. Natas, you talk about how your life was tough and you went through a lot of bad times, but most of the abuse you went through was physical. Most people that go through physical abuse don't end up cutting (though it does happen), because straight physical abuse acts on the mind differently, you get the fight back mentality. The be tougher than them and they will back off outlook. Am I right? I know that when I was subjected to physical abuse that was my immediate response. But the other stuff, it does the opposite. You feel helpless, you try to fight but that little dark side of your psyche, the part that discourages you and tells you that you can't do it, that part of you is stronger when you've gone through the mental abuse. It feels like you have no control over what happens to you, and then things like cutting become appealing because it is a way to seize some kind of control. Yes, you are inflicting pain on yourself, but you are the one doing it, not someone else, so it goes as far as you say it does. Is it unhealthy? Yes, very. But in my case it was a stepping stone that I used to crawl out of that pit because it let me see other ways to get my control back.

People that haven't gone through it have a hard time understanding it, mostly because they only see what is going on outside. They see the cuts and the scars, that is all. And so they judge, just like all of you have done. This stuff happened long before "emos" came about, and it will be here long after that fad as gone away. Telling people "suck it up" doesn't help when they are in that pit, because they really do not feel that they can. You have to go about it a different way. They might be stubborn, they might insist it is pointless but that is because they are broken and that little devil on their shoulder has convinced them it is true. No matter how frustrating it is, remember that there is more going on in their mind than you know. They have gone through things that you do not know about, because even if they share some of it I can tell you right now that they never share it all. You all know that I am fairly open about my past, I bring it up all the time, but even when I tell stories I leave out details that are too painful. Even posts where I give a lot of details, like here or a few others that come to mind, I have left things out. You can talk about an event that happened, but you don't describe every detail, every second, how exactly you felt or what you were thinking. Natas can tell us his dad beat his mom, but he doesn't tell us just how much it affected him, and I wouldn't expect him to.

I suppose that the point of this long ramble is that I feel that you people are far too quick to judge. Not all emos cut, not all who cut are emos... you cannot guess psychological profile based on a fashion choice. Not all that cut do it for attention, and even if they do it may not be the type of attention that you all seem to think it is. "Oh they just want attention"... they want help, don't laugh at them, talk to them! You laugh at a guy that cuts himself and it just reinforces that little voice's claims that no one cares. That is how things like Columbine ended up happening.

I am hopeful that if you've read all this, you leave this thread with a bit more understanding of cutters. Maybe it will change your perspective of them, maybe it won't. All I ask is that you look a bit closer before you just slap them with a label and walk away.
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07-30-11 02:34 PM
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Elara : I can understand what you are saying. Growing up, that's all I was told that was the meaning of emos, but don't get me wrong. I'm not completely heartless as I said in my previous post. I have told his parents about the way he was going on about it, but I take it that his parents confronted him about it, because I haven't heard from him since. So I don't know what went down with him. I don't know if he's doing better or still going on about that.

I can relate. I have been through some physical pains and some emotional. During the time when my dad was the way he was. My mom would drop me off at his place for the weekend. So we could bond as father and son, but every morning when he would wake up. It would be so cold in the mornings and I would have the heater on along with a blanket wrapped around me. Remind you, I was only 6 years old at this time. He would come into the room with that look on his face "What the hell are you looking at brat" That kinda look. Then he would jump on me about the heater and call me a weak pathetic little boy. He would tell me that he wouldn't care if I had never come over or even if I died. He just didn't care. He would put me down so hard to the point of me crying and just walks off, but strangely enough. As the years goes by. It wouldn't phase me at all. It's like I just didn't give a damn what he thought of me. I am who I am and if he didn't like it. He could just kiss my ass, but I can tell you that he meant every word of it. I guess I'm either strong willed, or just don't care what people think of me. 

For the physical pain I went through was just as hard. I come from a poor family so it was extremely hard to get by. There were times that we would literally go days without eating, because we just didn't have the money. My mom didn't have a job and/or hard to get one and my step dad was laid off his work since they had nothing to work on. So we would go without eating. Whenever we did have just barely enough food for two people. My mother would go without so I could eat, but that was only bad on her health. Now that I'm an adult. I still live with my mother yes. I'm here to do my very best to help take care of my mother, because now she has very bad high blood pressure. Whenever her blood pressure rises. It's basically instantly in stroke level and that scares me every time that happens. I never finished school so it's just that much harder for me to get a job to help out. We basically scrap to get by on food, but I feel it just strengthens the bond between us.

I don't have to know your life story, but by the way you said what you said in your post. I can tell you had it very rough in you life as well and I apologize if I have offended you in any way. I'm just so used to having these. "emos" That I grew up and by what people told me only wanted attention. They say they cut themselves, but when you look at their arms or where ever. There are no scares. That tells you they only want attention, but still with cutters. I still can't understand why they do it even after you just explain it to me. I don't know why, I just can't understand why they want to inflict pain on themselves just to feel alive or to deal with the troubles they go through. I always thought there were better ways to go about it, but from what it seems. It's easier said than done.
Elara : I can understand what you are saying. Growing up, that's all I was told that was the meaning of emos, but don't get me wrong. I'm not completely heartless as I said in my previous post. I have told his parents about the way he was going on about it, but I take it that his parents confronted him about it, because I haven't heard from him since. So I don't know what went down with him. I don't know if he's doing better or still going on about that.

I can relate. I have been through some physical pains and some emotional. During the time when my dad was the way he was. My mom would drop me off at his place for the weekend. So we could bond as father and son, but every morning when he would wake up. It would be so cold in the mornings and I would have the heater on along with a blanket wrapped around me. Remind you, I was only 6 years old at this time. He would come into the room with that look on his face "What the hell are you looking at brat" That kinda look. Then he would jump on me about the heater and call me a weak pathetic little boy. He would tell me that he wouldn't care if I had never come over or even if I died. He just didn't care. He would put me down so hard to the point of me crying and just walks off, but strangely enough. As the years goes by. It wouldn't phase me at all. It's like I just didn't give a damn what he thought of me. I am who I am and if he didn't like it. He could just kiss my ass, but I can tell you that he meant every word of it. I guess I'm either strong willed, or just don't care what people think of me. 

For the physical pain I went through was just as hard. I come from a poor family so it was extremely hard to get by. There were times that we would literally go days without eating, because we just didn't have the money. My mom didn't have a job and/or hard to get one and my step dad was laid off his work since they had nothing to work on. So we would go without eating. Whenever we did have just barely enough food for two people. My mother would go without so I could eat, but that was only bad on her health. Now that I'm an adult. I still live with my mother yes. I'm here to do my very best to help take care of my mother, because now she has very bad high blood pressure. Whenever her blood pressure rises. It's basically instantly in stroke level and that scares me every time that happens. I never finished school so it's just that much harder for me to get a job to help out. We basically scrap to get by on food, but I feel it just strengthens the bond between us.

I don't have to know your life story, but by the way you said what you said in your post. I can tell you had it very rough in you life as well and I apologize if I have offended you in any way. I'm just so used to having these. "emos" That I grew up and by what people told me only wanted attention. They say they cut themselves, but when you look at their arms or where ever. There are no scares. That tells you they only want attention, but still with cutters. I still can't understand why they do it even after you just explain it to me. I don't know why, I just can't understand why they want to inflict pain on themselves just to feel alive or to deal with the troubles they go through. I always thought there were better ways to go about it, but from what it seems. It's easier said than done.
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You personally didn't offend me, Natas. I think you did the right thing for your friend, given the background of the situation. If you don't hear from him for a few more weeks I say check in with his parents. I am sure they appreciated you alerting them to the situation and they would be likely to give you an update.

Like I said before though, it is really hard for anyone that hasn't gone through it to really understand it. There are definitely better ways, but usually it takes them longer to find it, some never do... and then there are the masochistic aspects, and I am not even going to delve into that whole mentality other than to say that some people just really like pain.
You personally didn't offend me, Natas. I think you did the right thing for your friend, given the background of the situation. If you don't hear from him for a few more weeks I say check in with his parents. I am sure they appreciated you alerting them to the situation and they would be likely to give you an update.

Like I said before though, it is really hard for anyone that hasn't gone through it to really understand it. There are definitely better ways, but usually it takes them longer to find it, some never do... and then there are the masochistic aspects, and I am not even going to delve into that whole mentality other than to say that some people just really like pain.
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