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What's your Family Dynamic?

 

04-14-16 05:38 PM
Zeldisaster is Offline
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I'm 24 and live with my mother. I haven't moved out yet because I've only saved up $800 for a car so far. Don't have the best job for that. My two older sisters found guys who supported them moving out when they were 18, but I understand that if I want to move out, I have to actually do something about it cuz no girl would simply do what those guys did for my sisters.

My oldest sister died years ago. But ironically, even when she was alive, I've always respected and loved my sisters, both of them. Same can be said about the rest of my family (with one exception, which causes the irony), including my father who ditched out when I was 5. I don't hold any negative emotions towards him. Which is odd, considering how much child support he couldn't pay (long story). I still text him and call him sometimes, though those interactions are getting more rare as time goes on.

I don't have the best relationship with my mother, but that's another long story. Basically, she's not the kinda person who makes good relationships with anybody because of how she treats people, but then wonders why nobody wants to be friendly with her, including her family.

But this made me curious. What's everyone's family dynamic? Who do you live with, and how good or bad a relationship do you have with each of them? If anyone's moved out, why did they move out? How good a relationship do you have with them even after they're gone?
I'm 24 and live with my mother. I haven't moved out yet because I've only saved up $800 for a car so far. Don't have the best job for that. My two older sisters found guys who supported them moving out when they were 18, but I understand that if I want to move out, I have to actually do something about it cuz no girl would simply do what those guys did for my sisters.

My oldest sister died years ago. But ironically, even when she was alive, I've always respected and loved my sisters, both of them. Same can be said about the rest of my family (with one exception, which causes the irony), including my father who ditched out when I was 5. I don't hold any negative emotions towards him. Which is odd, considering how much child support he couldn't pay (long story). I still text him and call him sometimes, though those interactions are getting more rare as time goes on.

I don't have the best relationship with my mother, but that's another long story. Basically, she's not the kinda person who makes good relationships with anybody because of how she treats people, but then wonders why nobody wants to be friendly with her, including her family.

But this made me curious. What's everyone's family dynamic? Who do you live with, and how good or bad a relationship do you have with each of them? If anyone's moved out, why did they move out? How good a relationship do you have with them even after they're gone?
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(edited by Zeldisaster on 04-14-16 05:41 PM)    

04-14-16 05:59 PM
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Zeldisaster :   When god gives you lemons, you find a new god.  I had it not so rough, but my dad left when I was 8 and never got to see him for almost 30 years.  My sister and I spent 20 plus years with my mom alone, and we never got much allowance.  She used to pay 30 cents for mowing the front yard and 50 cents for the back yard.  My dad always paid child support, so I respect him for that.  I am 34 right now, and just moved to where he lives so I could get to know him a little better.  I hope you and your family can reconcile some day, and if you don't get that opportunity, then I hope you get a family of your own that you can learn from the mistakes made previously.  No one wants what you are going through, so keep that in mind if and when you have a family.  Be there for them, or risk losing them forever
Zeldisaster :   When god gives you lemons, you find a new god.  I had it not so rough, but my dad left when I was 8 and never got to see him for almost 30 years.  My sister and I spent 20 plus years with my mom alone, and we never got much allowance.  She used to pay 30 cents for mowing the front yard and 50 cents for the back yard.  My dad always paid child support, so I respect him for that.  I am 34 right now, and just moved to where he lives so I could get to know him a little better.  I hope you and your family can reconcile some day, and if you don't get that opportunity, then I hope you get a family of your own that you can learn from the mistakes made previously.  No one wants what you are going through, so keep that in mind if and when you have a family.  Be there for them, or risk losing them forever
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04-14-16 06:07 PM
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I'm 23 and I live with my parents. I haven't moved out simply because I don't feel the need to. I haven't yet finished my studies, I'm about to get my driver license and close to entering to help at my family's business so as to build up experience for when I search for a job later on. I've made a lot of progress in real life lately, and until I'm done with such progress I'm not moving out.

My relationship with my mother is actually very close. We share quite a few interests, she's almost always on a good mood and we have mutual confidence in each other. She's the one that has helped me through my disease, after all, but I recall always being close to her. It really makes a difference when she's around or not, mostly because she's quite noisy, but that's another story

I'm not in good terms with my father for a variety of reasons. I'm rather emotionless towards him, and it's been like this for decades. I don't know how he feels towards me, but he doesn't seem too interested about me, based on how little interactions we have. It has gone to the point he's absent all day from home and I barely notice it compared to when he's in fact at home.

Since I have no siblings, that's mostly it. I did live with my paternal grandmother for some months back when our flat was undergoing a major redesign, but that's going a bit off-topic.
I'm 23 and I live with my parents. I haven't moved out simply because I don't feel the need to. I haven't yet finished my studies, I'm about to get my driver license and close to entering to help at my family's business so as to build up experience for when I search for a job later on. I've made a lot of progress in real life lately, and until I'm done with such progress I'm not moving out.

My relationship with my mother is actually very close. We share quite a few interests, she's almost always on a good mood and we have mutual confidence in each other. She's the one that has helped me through my disease, after all, but I recall always being close to her. It really makes a difference when she's around or not, mostly because she's quite noisy, but that's another story

I'm not in good terms with my father for a variety of reasons. I'm rather emotionless towards him, and it's been like this for decades. I don't know how he feels towards me, but he doesn't seem too interested about me, based on how little interactions we have. It has gone to the point he's absent all day from home and I barely notice it compared to when he's in fact at home.

Since I have no siblings, that's mostly it. I did live with my paternal grandmother for some months back when our flat was undergoing a major redesign, but that's going a bit off-topic.
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04-14-16 09:08 PM
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I'm 22 and I lived with someone who isnt my family for the last 9 years because the government told me to go and live with them, and literally just today I temporairily got kicked out and have to live with another family, so my relationship even with fake families isn't all that great.
I'm 22 and I lived with someone who isnt my family for the last 9 years because the government told me to go and live with them, and literally just today I temporairily got kicked out and have to live with another family, so my relationship even with fake families isn't all that great.
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04-29-16 07:38 AM
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Me and my family have a distant relationship at best. I was abusing pain killers for about 8 years so that built up a lot of resistance between us. I currently live with my parents, but had been living outside the home since I was almost 20 until 8 months ago when I got out of rehab. Me and my family rarely talk, and it's the most basic of interactions. More than anything, I think they simply "deal" with my existence at this point because I'm family. It's the same way with everyone, not just my parents. I try to be friendly and helpful as possible, but I don't think enough time has passed just yet. I'll be moving out as soon as possible, and it'll hopefully improve the relationship, but I doubt it. I don't really blame them anyway.
Me and my family have a distant relationship at best. I was abusing pain killers for about 8 years so that built up a lot of resistance between us. I currently live with my parents, but had been living outside the home since I was almost 20 until 8 months ago when I got out of rehab. Me and my family rarely talk, and it's the most basic of interactions. More than anything, I think they simply "deal" with my existence at this point because I'm family. It's the same way with everyone, not just my parents. I try to be friendly and helpful as possible, but I don't think enough time has passed just yet. I'll be moving out as soon as possible, and it'll hopefully improve the relationship, but I doubt it. I don't really blame them anyway.
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04-29-16 11:26 AM
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All my family members basically hate each other and have arguments often. The relationships are very poor
All my family members basically hate each other and have arguments often. The relationships are very poor
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05-16-16 02:18 PM
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I'm guessing you mean immediate family. I live on my own now and have since I was 20, but in my immediate family it's my parents, my younger sister, her daughter, and me. My sister and my niece live with my parents (the father is out of the picture primarily). 

My relationship with my parents is decent enough, my relationship with my sister is improving, and my relationship with my niece is awesome. My relationship with my sister improved over time - I'm not going to get into it, but learning to accept what's within my control and what's not (I'm a major control freak) has been a life lesson that seems to be every freakin' day.
I'm guessing you mean immediate family. I live on my own now and have since I was 20, but in my immediate family it's my parents, my younger sister, her daughter, and me. My sister and my niece live with my parents (the father is out of the picture primarily). 

My relationship with my parents is decent enough, my relationship with my sister is improving, and my relationship with my niece is awesome. My relationship with my sister improved over time - I'm not going to get into it, but learning to accept what's within my control and what's not (I'm a major control freak) has been a life lesson that seems to be every freakin' day.
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05-16-16 04:08 PM
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I don't have the most stable family relation. I'm somewhat distant with everyone except my mom but I guess because of that I'm able to keep on positive terms with my family for the most part. Going to try and not elaborate too much on how this all came to be here but basically; My father was never really part of the picture (very devout muslim and I'm an atheist, and we didn't really agree on much of anything when it comes to life). Other than causing problems for me and my mom throughout my time growing up he started to becoming mentally unstable the past few years and had several health problems and he passed away last year. I have two younger brothers on his side but I've never seen them or talked to them after he passed away since I only ever got to saw them through him. I think they live with their mother now and go to the muslim school that exists in the city.

My grandmother passed a year ago due to cancer and my mom never dealt too well with that. She's also been diagnosed with a cancer tumor which has lead to her becoming very emotional. She is constantly irritated about things at her job and going on in her social circle, has a milder case of alcohol addiction. She gets irritated a lot with things I do too and vice versa with me. Unfortunately for me she's the kind of person who holds in frustration then releases it all at once on someone usually me because I'm usually the person close by in particular since I don't go out much outside of school. She's not violent or anything but results in us often squabbling or having fullblown arguments. Before making up then restarting the process later. Which is why I'd really prefer living on my own not just to avoid that but because I think it would be better for our relationship. Unfortunately for me I'm stuck living with her for at least another two years if not longer. Assuming her health doesn't start to rapidly deteriorate because of the tumor.

She's really the only family member I'm close with. I have two older brothers which I see from time to time. But one has problems even taking care of himself not being able to handle money and is an alcoholic. Our relationship was very strained since he used to live here with me and my mom basically leeching of her. But it's gotten better since he moved out. He has his own apartment and seems to be doing better but I'm not sure how long that'll last. My relationship with him is overall good I guess we both like video games but my mom seems to think I hate him.  My other older brother seems to be doing well (I say seem since I don't see him a ton anymore thus I'm not 100% sure) and lives with his girlfriend. I rarely see him nowadays since he mostly prioritizies that and is closer with my other older brother.

Other than that there's my grandfather but ever since my grandmother passed away I haven't been very close with him, he's more close with my mom. I basically only see him now whenever he's visiting her and I happen to be home. The only other family member I have who I sometimes see is my aunt but she lives in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. Which is quite far away from where I live thus I don't really talk to her or see her much outside of the one or two times she comes to visit each year.

Not the best situation but better than having no family I guess. 
I don't have the most stable family relation. I'm somewhat distant with everyone except my mom but I guess because of that I'm able to keep on positive terms with my family for the most part. Going to try and not elaborate too much on how this all came to be here but basically; My father was never really part of the picture (very devout muslim and I'm an atheist, and we didn't really agree on much of anything when it comes to life). Other than causing problems for me and my mom throughout my time growing up he started to becoming mentally unstable the past few years and had several health problems and he passed away last year. I have two younger brothers on his side but I've never seen them or talked to them after he passed away since I only ever got to saw them through him. I think they live with their mother now and go to the muslim school that exists in the city.

My grandmother passed a year ago due to cancer and my mom never dealt too well with that. She's also been diagnosed with a cancer tumor which has lead to her becoming very emotional. She is constantly irritated about things at her job and going on in her social circle, has a milder case of alcohol addiction. She gets irritated a lot with things I do too and vice versa with me. Unfortunately for me she's the kind of person who holds in frustration then releases it all at once on someone usually me because I'm usually the person close by in particular since I don't go out much outside of school. She's not violent or anything but results in us often squabbling or having fullblown arguments. Before making up then restarting the process later. Which is why I'd really prefer living on my own not just to avoid that but because I think it would be better for our relationship. Unfortunately for me I'm stuck living with her for at least another two years if not longer. Assuming her health doesn't start to rapidly deteriorate because of the tumor.

She's really the only family member I'm close with. I have two older brothers which I see from time to time. But one has problems even taking care of himself not being able to handle money and is an alcoholic. Our relationship was very strained since he used to live here with me and my mom basically leeching of her. But it's gotten better since he moved out. He has his own apartment and seems to be doing better but I'm not sure how long that'll last. My relationship with him is overall good I guess we both like video games but my mom seems to think I hate him.  My other older brother seems to be doing well (I say seem since I don't see him a ton anymore thus I'm not 100% sure) and lives with his girlfriend. I rarely see him nowadays since he mostly prioritizies that and is closer with my other older brother.

Other than that there's my grandfather but ever since my grandmother passed away I haven't been very close with him, he's more close with my mom. I basically only see him now whenever he's visiting her and I happen to be home. The only other family member I have who I sometimes see is my aunt but she lives in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. Which is quite far away from where I live thus I don't really talk to her or see her much outside of the one or two times she comes to visit each year.

Not the best situation but better than having no family I guess. 
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(edited by Zlinqx on 05-16-16 04:25 PM)    

05-17-16 11:11 PM
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I've always had a good relationship with my parents and siblings.
Of course, we've had times where we fought but its never really gotten to the point of not talking because of it.

I've been living in my own apartment for a while now and don't talk to them as much as I probably should, but I would like to think our relationship is still good and we are on speaking terms if I would just make the time to talk to them...

lordbelial669 : Srsly? Quoting the Power Thirst video?
I've always had a good relationship with my parents and siblings.
Of course, we've had times where we fought but its never really gotten to the point of not talking because of it.

I've been living in my own apartment for a while now and don't talk to them as much as I probably should, but I would like to think our relationship is still good and we are on speaking terms if I would just make the time to talk to them...

lordbelial669 : Srsly? Quoting the Power Thirst video?
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05-17-16 11:39 PM
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My situation is basically like yours, I'm stuck with a roomate because I can't afford a place of my own.

I cannot live wive with any of my remaining family members.

Reason:
A: I don't want to.
B: Not going to happen ( in other words not possible)
My situation is basically like yours, I'm stuck with a roomate because I can't afford a place of my own.

I cannot live wive with any of my remaining family members.

Reason:
A: I don't want to.
B: Not going to happen ( in other words not possible)
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05-18-16 10:24 AM
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Vanelan :   I had to.  Thought it was fitting at the time, and grats on catching it and or even knowing what that was from
Vanelan :   I had to.  Thought it was fitting at the time, and grats on catching it and or even knowing what that was from
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06-06-16 01:56 AM
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Since I could go on and on about this particular subject, I'll answer the questions in a structured format.

1) What's everyone's family dynamic?
Well, my family dynamic is a bit weird, to some people
. While we're all into different activities and hobbies, we're able to get along better than the average modern family. There are times where we all do different things by ourselves (like right now).

2) Who do you live with, and how good or bad a relationship do you have with each of them?
I live with my parents and my 2nd older sister, Altearrain. Please note that we are all blood related. I say second because she's the middle child, there is an older sister that is older than Altearrain and I. Our relationship with each other is good. We'll have a disagreement or two, but we usually make up the same day.

3) If anyone's moved out, why did they move out?
My 1st older sister (we'll call her N to protect her identity) moved out when she was around the age of 17 or 18, I forget. She met this guy (to protect his identification, we'll call 'em T) who broke up with someone at the time and "fell in love" with my sis. N stormed out of the house because my parents told her to stop any interaction with T because he's immature and she's blinded by love. Fast forward a few years, they are married, have a child and another on the way, and live with debt. T's in the military and is supporting N while she works as a babysitter. We're on good terms, but N lost her position as oldest sister in our family. She may be the oldest in terms of age however, N does not have any authority over my sis and I, according to my parents.

4) How good a relationship do you have with them even after they're gone?
We, well.... We can still talk, but it's kind of awkward-- to me at least. I feel as if I don't know N anymore, as if she's a total stranger. I only know the old her, before she was in high school. The her that was kind and loving, who didn't mind playing with stuffed animals or wouldn't ignore me. She tries her best to show she's changed, but the damage was already done before she even left. I can only treat her how I used to however, I can't have those deep conversations with N anymore. As much as I love my sister, I wish she was the caring 10-year-old sis I had back then.


Kind of off subject, but I feel both happy and horrendously ashamed for posting in this thread. The people in this thread has/have/had gone through far worst than me, it seems. So, I'd like to say that I have a mighty big respect towards you, I really do. If I could, I would gladly switch places with each and every one of you, so you could experience something that is almost impossible to give. I can, however, give you something of mine called "care," because I care about you and this site. I may not know you, personally or generally, but that does not matter to me. There's always going to be someone who cares about you, and don't you forget it. Whether it be me or God.


Hope you have a spectacular day, reader of posts!
-- KK
Since I could go on and on about this particular subject, I'll answer the questions in a structured format.

1) What's everyone's family dynamic?
Well, my family dynamic is a bit weird, to some people
. While we're all into different activities and hobbies, we're able to get along better than the average modern family. There are times where we all do different things by ourselves (like right now).

2) Who do you live with, and how good or bad a relationship do you have with each of them?
I live with my parents and my 2nd older sister, Altearrain. Please note that we are all blood related. I say second because she's the middle child, there is an older sister that is older than Altearrain and I. Our relationship with each other is good. We'll have a disagreement or two, but we usually make up the same day.

3) If anyone's moved out, why did they move out?
My 1st older sister (we'll call her N to protect her identity) moved out when she was around the age of 17 or 18, I forget. She met this guy (to protect his identification, we'll call 'em T) who broke up with someone at the time and "fell in love" with my sis. N stormed out of the house because my parents told her to stop any interaction with T because he's immature and she's blinded by love. Fast forward a few years, they are married, have a child and another on the way, and live with debt. T's in the military and is supporting N while she works as a babysitter. We're on good terms, but N lost her position as oldest sister in our family. She may be the oldest in terms of age however, N does not have any authority over my sis and I, according to my parents.

4) How good a relationship do you have with them even after they're gone?
We, well.... We can still talk, but it's kind of awkward-- to me at least. I feel as if I don't know N anymore, as if she's a total stranger. I only know the old her, before she was in high school. The her that was kind and loving, who didn't mind playing with stuffed animals or wouldn't ignore me. She tries her best to show she's changed, but the damage was already done before she even left. I can only treat her how I used to however, I can't have those deep conversations with N anymore. As much as I love my sister, I wish she was the caring 10-year-old sis I had back then.


Kind of off subject, but I feel both happy and horrendously ashamed for posting in this thread. The people in this thread has/have/had gone through far worst than me, it seems. So, I'd like to say that I have a mighty big respect towards you, I really do. If I could, I would gladly switch places with each and every one of you, so you could experience something that is almost impossible to give. I can, however, give you something of mine called "care," because I care about you and this site. I may not know you, personally or generally, but that does not matter to me. There's always going to be someone who cares about you, and don't you forget it. Whether it be me or God.


Hope you have a spectacular day, reader of posts!
-- KK
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(edited by Kuti_Kat on 06-06-16 01:58 AM)    

07-06-16 09:09 AM
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Well. It could be for when we have the same interests and in my family the siblings are gamers all of us are. I forgot it was passed down to my father and uncles somehow to do with gaming. From time to time we get together to play games have fun and all. My family is a big family. And then I have another bunch over way in Nigeria. So I really do count how many family members do I have because I come from a very large family. I like it because you get to talk about things new things and what is happening in the world as well.
Well. It could be for when we have the same interests and in my family the siblings are gamers all of us are. I forgot it was passed down to my father and uncles somehow to do with gaming. From time to time we get together to play games have fun and all. My family is a big family. And then I have another bunch over way in Nigeria. So I really do count how many family members do I have because I come from a very large family. I like it because you get to talk about things new things and what is happening in the world as well.
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Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-16-12
Last Post: 543 days
Last Active: 31 days

07-06-16 11:55 AM
Pacman+Mariofan is Offline
| ID: 1282481 | 131 Words


PacmanandMariofan
Level: 165


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I live with my parents, as well as my sister and brother who are both adopted but I'm the biological child. We mostly get along well but all 3 of us siblings argue with each other on a regular basis. I don't want to argue with them so much anymore but I'm struggling not to especially when they won't listen to anyone's directions. Thankfully my sister is slowly improving, but my brother is still as crazy as ever

Even though things are rough with my siblings, I don't have much trouble keeping my relationship with my parents healthy. We agree and relate to each other on many things and we all share the same kind of humor! No one has moved out since I'm the oldest and I'm 16.
I live with my parents, as well as my sister and brother who are both adopted but I'm the biological child. We mostly get along well but all 3 of us siblings argue with each other on a regular basis. I don't want to argue with them so much anymore but I'm struggling not to especially when they won't listen to anyone's directions. Thankfully my sister is slowly improving, but my brother is still as crazy as ever

Even though things are rough with my siblings, I don't have much trouble keeping my relationship with my parents healthy. We agree and relate to each other on many things and we all share the same kind of humor! No one has moved out since I'm the oldest and I'm 16.
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Philippians 4:6-7


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-22-12
Location: The Milky Way (not the candy)
Last Post: 927 days
Last Active: 927 days

07-06-16 01:41 PM
janus is Offline
| ID: 1282539 | 167 Words

janus
SecureYourCodeDavid
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I left the house a little before I turned 24 to move with my then boyfriend. It was such a relief that when I when back to college a few years later I chose to go to the dorms rather than live at their house even if it would have been a little cheaper. I just could not stand their constant bickering for bits and nothings - my two other siblings did it earlier than I did.
To answer the questions

1) I rarely get to see my family, being physically very far away from them; they seem to get together two or three times a month at least (having a grandchild helps)
2) I live with my husband. I guess we have our ups and downs like every couple, but it is otherwise a happy relationship
4) I guess that distance does us good. Whenever I come back I feel less of a stress since I know I am there only for a few days.
I left the house a little before I turned 24 to move with my then boyfriend. It was such a relief that when I when back to college a few years later I chose to go to the dorms rather than live at their house even if it would have been a little cheaper. I just could not stand their constant bickering for bits and nothings - my two other siblings did it earlier than I did.
To answer the questions

1) I rarely get to see my family, being physically very far away from them; they seem to get together two or three times a month at least (having a grandchild helps)
2) I live with my husband. I guess we have our ups and downs like every couple, but it is otherwise a happy relationship
4) I guess that distance does us good. Whenever I come back I feel less of a stress since I know I am there only for a few days.
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the unknown


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 12-14-12
Location: Murica
Last Post: 42 days
Last Active: 8 hours

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