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On a scale of 1 to 10, how self-centered are you?

 

12-08-14 05:45 AM
Singelli is Offline
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I think most of us tend to be self-centered, as it's only physically natural to be so.

My question is this:
How self-centered do YOU view yourself to be?  (1 being completely self-less and 10 being total lack of care for anyone else)
How would your family rate you?
Friends?
Coworkers?
Strangers?

More importantly, WHY do you give yourself the number you do?  What makes you more or less self-centered than the people around you, and how do you define it?
I think most of us tend to be self-centered, as it's only physically natural to be so.

My question is this:
How self-centered do YOU view yourself to be?  (1 being completely self-less and 10 being total lack of care for anyone else)
How would your family rate you?
Friends?
Coworkers?
Strangers?

More importantly, WHY do you give yourself the number you do?  What makes you more or less self-centered than the people around you, and how do you define it?
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12-08-14 06:41 AM
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I'd have to say something like 7.5 to an 8, if I'm being honest.

While I try my best not to, it's in my nature to not care about what others do.
I avoid loud conversations and any kind of parties, except if it's at a close friend's place or something alike. 
I definitely don't see myself as self-less, which I define as caring more about how others are doing and less about yourself and your motives/ideals.

I asked my dad and my cousin, and they both agree with that. 
But then there's the point that I really don't care how others view me as or what impression they get from me. I'm me and they shouldn't have to change that.

My friends opinions differ, which probably has something to do with how close of a friend I view them as.

I'm trying to change it, but I've come to realize that I'll never be able to fully change the way I comfortably feel like thinking or handling.
I'd have to say something like 7.5 to an 8, if I'm being honest.

While I try my best not to, it's in my nature to not care about what others do.
I avoid loud conversations and any kind of parties, except if it's at a close friend's place or something alike. 
I definitely don't see myself as self-less, which I define as caring more about how others are doing and less about yourself and your motives/ideals.

I asked my dad and my cousin, and they both agree with that. 
But then there's the point that I really don't care how others view me as or what impression they get from me. I'm me and they shouldn't have to change that.

My friends opinions differ, which probably has something to do with how close of a friend I view them as.

I'm trying to change it, but I've come to realize that I'll never be able to fully change the way I comfortably feel like thinking or handling.
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12-08-14 06:49 AM
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I'm not going to lie to you. If you shared my real life with me, you'll see I can become quite arrogant and show a bit of superiority towards a person from time to time. Although, there's a reason: when you see, you realize life grant things to a person who shouldn't get it. When you enter a videogame store and the person doesn't even try to be helpful, then you leave the store and yell outside as loud as anyone would hear that "I wish I could be in its shoes!" but you sadly you can't be because fate decided instead for you. Oh there's more, don't worry. And actually, it's a miracle I'm still living with all my limbs, especially when Sunday drivers have a car and, most important, that piece of paper you tried so hard to get but, as always, it's totally different. Life's unfair indeed. But I'm not totally self-centered. I would say that, on a scale of 1 to 10, my self-centeredness is up to 6 or 7.
I'm not going to lie to you. If you shared my real life with me, you'll see I can become quite arrogant and show a bit of superiority towards a person from time to time. Although, there's a reason: when you see, you realize life grant things to a person who shouldn't get it. When you enter a videogame store and the person doesn't even try to be helpful, then you leave the store and yell outside as loud as anyone would hear that "I wish I could be in its shoes!" but you sadly you can't be because fate decided instead for you. Oh there's more, don't worry. And actually, it's a miracle I'm still living with all my limbs, especially when Sunday drivers have a car and, most important, that piece of paper you tried so hard to get but, as always, it's totally different. Life's unfair indeed. But I'm not totally self-centered. I would say that, on a scale of 1 to 10, my self-centeredness is up to 6 or 7.
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(edited by Laian on 12-08-14 01:11 PM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Singelli,

12-08-14 07:53 AM
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All in all I average from me, family, friends and other people a big
whopping 8.5. I really enjoy image and rely on what I look like to most
likely get what I want. I'm not bragging or anything of how good I look.
Because I also mostly rely on my decision, goals, and choices only.
I differentiate myself from others also thinking that were such unique
individuals with the division of others perspective from our own. Fact
is I'm also the type of guy who doesn't care of the people who criticized
or disagree with me. Because I do what I want whenever I want 
because this is my world (in my perspective)
All in all I average from me, family, friends and other people a big
whopping 8.5. I really enjoy image and rely on what I look like to most
likely get what I want. I'm not bragging or anything of how good I look.
Because I also mostly rely on my decision, goals, and choices only.
I differentiate myself from others also thinking that were such unique
individuals with the division of others perspective from our own. Fact
is I'm also the type of guy who doesn't care of the people who criticized
or disagree with me. Because I do what I want whenever I want 
because this is my world (in my perspective)
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12-08-14 08:58 AM
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Now I may be arrogant or a little cocky when it comes to how I attack Life but by no means am I self-centered.  My wife's biggest complaint about me is my natural inclination to be overly empathetic and go out of my way to do things for others.  She says I put myself dead last, I put her second to dead last, and I put our daughter somewhere in the bottom 50% because I'm so busy helping others.  This is filling in a work, helping people with their homes, whatever the case may be.

I love to help and I do it because (a) it makes me feel good about helping others and (b) it makes me look good to others.  There is some ego involved when I step up and do things but most people don't care because the work, or whatever, is getting done.

I would score myself a solid 5.0.  I need to start putting my family first but I learned from my dad to always put others in front of you.  I think he got it from Spock in Star Trek when he killed himself so the rest of the
Enterprise could survive.  Spoiler Alert: He comes back to life.
Now I may be arrogant or a little cocky when it comes to how I attack Life but by no means am I self-centered.  My wife's biggest complaint about me is my natural inclination to be overly empathetic and go out of my way to do things for others.  She says I put myself dead last, I put her second to dead last, and I put our daughter somewhere in the bottom 50% because I'm so busy helping others.  This is filling in a work, helping people with their homes, whatever the case may be.

I love to help and I do it because (a) it makes me feel good about helping others and (b) it makes me look good to others.  There is some ego involved when I step up and do things but most people don't care because the work, or whatever, is getting done.

I would score myself a solid 5.0.  I need to start putting my family first but I learned from my dad to always put others in front of you.  I think he got it from Spock in Star Trek when he killed himself so the rest of the
Enterprise could survive.  Spoiler Alert: He comes back to life.
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12-08-14 09:03 AM
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It really all depends on how close I am to a person. If a stranger is being attacked by a thief or a drunkard, then sadly, the best help I could offer is to just call the police and stay out of the main event. I'll never risk my life saving someone I've never met before and helping him/her to injure the attacker and help him/her run away is clearly out of the question.

However, if that person isn't a stranger but someone dear to me (like my parents or siblings), then I'd definitely help them to the best of my ability. Maybe I'd even think about swapping places with them, like "go ask for help, I'll keep him busy" or something along those lines.


So... my ratings for myself:

Family- 2 (Second family not included (ie. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins))

I still have my selfish moments with my family, lol. Like always getting the best pillow cases off the basket before they could even have the chance to pick. We have these Bratz themed pillow cases and nobody wanted them, but for the sake of not hurting our dad's feelings (he bought those because he thought we'd like Bratz since me and my siblings are all girls) we've kept on using those pillow cases for ages and tried not to end up with them every time we wash and change our pillow cases. Of course, dad doesn't know and it would remain a secret from him forever.

Friends-

It would also depend on how close I am to a friend or how much I trust him/her. So far I only have one to whom I'd be rating myself with 4 (She's a very close friend of mine since elementary days and we still keep in touch). I also have other friends to whom I'd go as high as 7 or 8 (1 being the most selfless). Some of my cousins fall under the 'friends' category.

Strangers/classmates/acquaintances - 9

Yep, according to my trust/love-o-meter, those three are pretty much on the same level. I'm more of an introvert and I don't look for the comfort of having someone not-so-close hang out with me just for the sake of having someone to hang out with. The only time I'd mind being alone is when I have my close friends or family present. That doesn't mean I'm cold or doesn't like people though, I don't mind (not I don't like) it when a stranger/classmate/acquaintance likes to come with me, but I won't mind either if he/she would decide not to come. That's how I usually find close friends though. xD They keep on hanging out with me until I finally feel good and comfortable with them.

To sum it all up, the more I love and the more I trust someone, the more selfless I become. Reaching the top won't be an easy task though, I don't let just anybody and everybody enter the circle, but that also means I'd never be a candidate for sainthood.
It really all depends on how close I am to a person. If a stranger is being attacked by a thief or a drunkard, then sadly, the best help I could offer is to just call the police and stay out of the main event. I'll never risk my life saving someone I've never met before and helping him/her to injure the attacker and help him/her run away is clearly out of the question.

However, if that person isn't a stranger but someone dear to me (like my parents or siblings), then I'd definitely help them to the best of my ability. Maybe I'd even think about swapping places with them, like "go ask for help, I'll keep him busy" or something along those lines.


So... my ratings for myself:

Family- 2 (Second family not included (ie. Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins))

I still have my selfish moments with my family, lol. Like always getting the best pillow cases off the basket before they could even have the chance to pick. We have these Bratz themed pillow cases and nobody wanted them, but for the sake of not hurting our dad's feelings (he bought those because he thought we'd like Bratz since me and my siblings are all girls) we've kept on using those pillow cases for ages and tried not to end up with them every time we wash and change our pillow cases. Of course, dad doesn't know and it would remain a secret from him forever.

Friends-

It would also depend on how close I am to a friend or how much I trust him/her. So far I only have one to whom I'd be rating myself with 4 (She's a very close friend of mine since elementary days and we still keep in touch). I also have other friends to whom I'd go as high as 7 or 8 (1 being the most selfless). Some of my cousins fall under the 'friends' category.

Strangers/classmates/acquaintances - 9

Yep, according to my trust/love-o-meter, those three are pretty much on the same level. I'm more of an introvert and I don't look for the comfort of having someone not-so-close hang out with me just for the sake of having someone to hang out with. The only time I'd mind being alone is when I have my close friends or family present. That doesn't mean I'm cold or doesn't like people though, I don't mind (not I don't like) it when a stranger/classmate/acquaintance likes to come with me, but I won't mind either if he/she would decide not to come. That's how I usually find close friends though. xD They keep on hanging out with me until I finally feel good and comfortable with them.

To sum it all up, the more I love and the more I trust someone, the more selfless I become. Reaching the top won't be an easy task though, I don't let just anybody and everybody enter the circle, but that also means I'd never be a candidate for sainthood.
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12-08-14 12:32 PM
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Well, let's see...

Personally, I myself see myself as about a 6. I'm close to the middle, but lean to myself moreso than to others. Not as big as people might think.

My family, it depends, some members (my mother) would say I'm around a 3, because I've always been something of a sacrificial black sheep, doing damage control, and being a lightning rod for all the anger in the household growing up (even though I didn't deserve it). Others (my sister) would say I'm a 10, simply because I don't give them everything they want, and don't provide anything tangible for them.

My friends, the people I'm ACTUALLY close to, would rate me a 2. I'm not completely selfless, but I lean towards spoiling them, rather than being spoiled myself. Whenever we go out, I often foot a larger portion of our bill, and I often spend what little money I have on other people around me. I live for my friends. Under this category and family, would be my girlfriend, who seems to think I'm a 1. Completely selfless.

Co-Workers. Hahahaha that's a good one, I can't find a job anywhere.

Strangers, they'd probably rate me a 10. This counts a lot of Vizzed members who I don't really know or care to know. I keep to myself when I'm not around people I love, or even like. I have enough people in my life, so I don't feel the need to keep adding to it. I often ignore people around me, or flat out tell them to go away. I have little interest in people who aren't already in my circle.
Well, let's see...

Personally, I myself see myself as about a 6. I'm close to the middle, but lean to myself moreso than to others. Not as big as people might think.

My family, it depends, some members (my mother) would say I'm around a 3, because I've always been something of a sacrificial black sheep, doing damage control, and being a lightning rod for all the anger in the household growing up (even though I didn't deserve it). Others (my sister) would say I'm a 10, simply because I don't give them everything they want, and don't provide anything tangible for them.

My friends, the people I'm ACTUALLY close to, would rate me a 2. I'm not completely selfless, but I lean towards spoiling them, rather than being spoiled myself. Whenever we go out, I often foot a larger portion of our bill, and I often spend what little money I have on other people around me. I live for my friends. Under this category and family, would be my girlfriend, who seems to think I'm a 1. Completely selfless.

Co-Workers. Hahahaha that's a good one, I can't find a job anywhere.

Strangers, they'd probably rate me a 10. This counts a lot of Vizzed members who I don't really know or care to know. I keep to myself when I'm not around people I love, or even like. I have enough people in my life, so I don't feel the need to keep adding to it. I often ignore people around me, or flat out tell them to go away. I have little interest in people who aren't already in my circle.
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12-08-14 01:17 PM
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Honestly, I'd say about 3.
If I abuse someones trust, or cause someone undue suffering, I feel genuinely bad about it. My entire day will be a downer. I dont shoot around trying to help everyones request which is why I dont say 1, but if I'm there, and can feasibly help someone, I'm inclined to do it.
People ask a favour, I dont expect a return on my investment, I just do it. People want to vent, I listen. I dont tell them I dont care, or that I have my own issues, I try and help.
People I know want to borrow money, I'll lend them it. I dont need it right then, they do.

I wish I could say 1 but I'm only human.
You could argue I'm still self centred though. Helping others makes me feel happy, so really im acting in my own benefit.
If you take it that seriously though, you'd have to wonder whether selflessness was even existent.

To this day I have stupid regrets about insignificant event's where I wasnt as helpfull as I could have been.
Honestly, I'd say about 3.
If I abuse someones trust, or cause someone undue suffering, I feel genuinely bad about it. My entire day will be a downer. I dont shoot around trying to help everyones request which is why I dont say 1, but if I'm there, and can feasibly help someone, I'm inclined to do it.
People ask a favour, I dont expect a return on my investment, I just do it. People want to vent, I listen. I dont tell them I dont care, or that I have my own issues, I try and help.
People I know want to borrow money, I'll lend them it. I dont need it right then, they do.

I wish I could say 1 but I'm only human.
You could argue I'm still self centred though. Helping others makes me feel happy, so really im acting in my own benefit.
If you take it that seriously though, you'd have to wonder whether selflessness was even existent.

To this day I have stupid regrets about insignificant event's where I wasnt as helpfull as I could have been.
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12-08-14 02:24 PM
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Honestly? I'd give myself an 8 or 9.

I can and often do do things for other people, but i almost always put myself and my interests first.
Honestly? I'd give myself an 8 or 9.

I can and often do do things for other people, but i almost always put myself and my interests first.
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12-08-14 02:51 PM
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How self-centered do YOU view yourself to be?  (1 being completely self-less and 10 being total lack of care for anyone else)
If I'm viewing it in a first person point of view, I'd say a 6.

How would your family rate you?
My family would say I'm not that self absorbed-- being a 3 at the very least.

Friends?
Friend wise, I don't know. Probably a 5 or a 4? I'm not sure.

Coworkers?
I don't work, so. . . .

Strangers?
About a 4.

WHY do you give yourself the number you do?
Because I feel that is what I deserve.

What makes you more or less self-centered than the people around you, and how do you define it?
I love helping people, but I get tired of those who keep asking me for help and my attitude changes whenever around them. I would define it as normal. I not as selfish and not as humbled. Just in between.
How self-centered do YOU view yourself to be?  (1 being completely self-less and 10 being total lack of care for anyone else)
If I'm viewing it in a first person point of view, I'd say a 6.

How would your family rate you?
My family would say I'm not that self absorbed-- being a 3 at the very least.

Friends?
Friend wise, I don't know. Probably a 5 or a 4? I'm not sure.

Coworkers?
I don't work, so. . . .

Strangers?
About a 4.

WHY do you give yourself the number you do?
Because I feel that is what I deserve.

What makes you more or less self-centered than the people around you, and how do you define it?
I love helping people, but I get tired of those who keep asking me for help and my attitude changes whenever around them. I would define it as normal. I not as selfish and not as humbled. Just in between.
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(edited by Kuti_Kat on 12-08-14 02:52 PM)    

12-08-14 04:40 PM
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This thread is amazing

I view myself to be a 5 on the scale. I love helping people out unless there's something else I really want to be doing. Even if I'm feeling down and want to be alone, I'm usually happy to help because I know that it's not so hard to cheer up when I'm helping others. Also, they'll usually appreciate it. I love being the go-to person for help, which is very common in school.

However, I partially do it so I can feel better about myself and so that I have more to do in my not-so-productive life. I mostly help for others' benefit though.

It's hard for me to be nice to everyone, but I'm trying and I've been succeeding recently.

I'm definitely willing to give up my life for some people close to me, but I'm honestly unsure about me doing the same for people that aren't, especially adults that have already lived a lot longer than me.

I'm not willing to help with a lot of big things, such as mission trips.

I have a lot of interests and hobbies that I value highly and would be very difficult for me to give up, but unless they're beneficial towards others, I'd give them up.

I think my family would rate me a 4. They've seen how nice I am to my friends and almost everyone around me and my parents talk about it a lot and make it obvious that they notice and love it. I'm a typical teenager in the self-centered category, which means I tend to be the nicest to my friends and acquaintances and put them first most of the time. And sometimes I talk to them because that's what I want instead of doing what my parents want me to do. I'm getting a lot nicer for my family, but still not as much as they want me to be.

Even though I'm not usually mean to my much younger brother I don't do anything for him unless I'm supposed to. I don't even realize it anymore. I still get into arguments with my sister and I'm not nice to her. Even though I am doing it for my own desires, I'm also trying to get her to behave herself so my parents don't have to worry and stress about her so, so much every single day.

I think my friends would rate me a 3. I'm almost always incredibly nice to them and I almost never say no if they ask me to do something for them. Most of the time, I try to make the conversation mostly about them, and most of time I try to deal with any problems with them instead of pointing those problems out to them.

Skipping coworkers because I've never had a job before...

I think strangers would rate me a 3. I'm always nice to strangers if they aren't mean to me and I'm usually nice whenever there are strangers around.

I gave myself the number I did since I've been observing and correcting my personality a lot for over a year and I know almost everything about myself now. Maybe the only things I don't know are my capabilities.

I'm less self-centered than the people around me because a lot of the time, I'm waiting for opportunities to help others, and like I said, mostly for others instead of my own contentment.

I would define it as really good.
This thread is amazing

I view myself to be a 5 on the scale. I love helping people out unless there's something else I really want to be doing. Even if I'm feeling down and want to be alone, I'm usually happy to help because I know that it's not so hard to cheer up when I'm helping others. Also, they'll usually appreciate it. I love being the go-to person for help, which is very common in school.

However, I partially do it so I can feel better about myself and so that I have more to do in my not-so-productive life. I mostly help for others' benefit though.

It's hard for me to be nice to everyone, but I'm trying and I've been succeeding recently.

I'm definitely willing to give up my life for some people close to me, but I'm honestly unsure about me doing the same for people that aren't, especially adults that have already lived a lot longer than me.

I'm not willing to help with a lot of big things, such as mission trips.

I have a lot of interests and hobbies that I value highly and would be very difficult for me to give up, but unless they're beneficial towards others, I'd give them up.

I think my family would rate me a 4. They've seen how nice I am to my friends and almost everyone around me and my parents talk about it a lot and make it obvious that they notice and love it. I'm a typical teenager in the self-centered category, which means I tend to be the nicest to my friends and acquaintances and put them first most of the time. And sometimes I talk to them because that's what I want instead of doing what my parents want me to do. I'm getting a lot nicer for my family, but still not as much as they want me to be.

Even though I'm not usually mean to my much younger brother I don't do anything for him unless I'm supposed to. I don't even realize it anymore. I still get into arguments with my sister and I'm not nice to her. Even though I am doing it for my own desires, I'm also trying to get her to behave herself so my parents don't have to worry and stress about her so, so much every single day.

I think my friends would rate me a 3. I'm almost always incredibly nice to them and I almost never say no if they ask me to do something for them. Most of the time, I try to make the conversation mostly about them, and most of time I try to deal with any problems with them instead of pointing those problems out to them.

Skipping coworkers because I've never had a job before...

I think strangers would rate me a 3. I'm always nice to strangers if they aren't mean to me and I'm usually nice whenever there are strangers around.

I gave myself the number I did since I've been observing and correcting my personality a lot for over a year and I know almost everything about myself now. Maybe the only things I don't know are my capabilities.

I'm less self-centered than the people around me because a lot of the time, I'm waiting for opportunities to help others, and like I said, mostly for others instead of my own contentment.

I would define it as really good.
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I'd say I'm about 6.5/10 self-centered. I agree that people do tend towards self-centeredness and I think I might be moreso than average. Then again, I also know that there are many people far worse than me. The reason why is that I usually do "the right thing" that favors others over myself, but I don't typically do it out of brotherly love. Instead, I do it out of obligation to others or to God, or because having relationships is convenient and helpful to me. I could just be making excuses, but I think that having depression and a general lack of emotion makes it difficult to care about others as well. I don't care much about myself either, but since I don't experience very strong emotions at all, it's really hard to empathize with others and consider their perspective.
I'd say I'm about 6.5/10 self-centered. I agree that people do tend towards self-centeredness and I think I might be moreso than average. Then again, I also know that there are many people far worse than me. The reason why is that I usually do "the right thing" that favors others over myself, but I don't typically do it out of brotherly love. Instead, I do it out of obligation to others or to God, or because having relationships is convenient and helpful to me. I could just be making excuses, but I think that having depression and a general lack of emotion makes it difficult to care about others as well. I don't care much about myself either, but since I don't experience very strong emotions at all, it's really hard to empathize with others and consider their perspective.
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12-08-14 06:54 PM
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I'm really, really enjoying the responses here, and even more so, the explanations. I think it's really interesting how we tend to see ourselves, and how each of us would rate ourselves.  I didn't want to post my own self-evaluation until I could see what other people thought.

If I were to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give myself an 8.  I mainly care about what I want, and I tend to pine over those things until I get depressed.   I'm selfish a little over materialistic things, but even more so over emotional things.  I'm an extremely selfish conversationalist.  When it comes to my online friends, I typically talk about me.  And when I'm out and about, I always forget about the conventions like "How was your day?" or "How are you?"  I remember the first time a teacher told me that, I was stunned.  She made this really annoyed face at me and said "Instead of always coming in here just to ask me a question, how about starting with a "hi, how are you?"

I had never really thought of it, to be honest, and it ate at me even further when a student said the same thing almost a week later.  He wasn't upset like my coworker, but seemed almost amused by it.  "Mrs. Singell, have you ever noticed that I always ask you how your day was, but you never ask me?"  As a matter of fact, it was 
soraroxaskennedy:

These two confrontations were enough to make me feel quite ashamed. Even
becerra85:
points out that when we chat, I don't give those common courtesies.

I recognize it as a problem and feel terrible about it, but it just doesn't come naturally to me.  I think this is because I'm selfish and always thinking about myself and talking about myself.

I totally have no idea how my family would rate me, however.  I'm inclined to say they'd rate me somewhere between 3 and 5, but that's just because they view me as a giving, loving, happy-bubbly person.  They also know I have a tendency to give things away, forgive debts owed me, and be a total pushover.  I may have been that way in the past and sort of am now... but I'm still conceited.

I don't have friends, so that's not answerable, and my coworkers don't know me well enough to give an opinion one way or the other.  They know I'm willing to help them whenever they ask, so they might give me a low number to make me feel good.

Strangers?  Sadly, I think they'd get totally the wrong impression of who I am.  I think if they initiated conversation, they'd see my shyness and just assume I'm a nice person, thereby giving me a grade of 5 or so.  And if God led me to buy them a meal or bottle of water, maybe a 4.  

Charity and kindness doesn't make someone less self-centered though.  I'm self-centered because... as I mentioned above, I tend to think about myself, care about myself, and feel pity towards myself rather than other people.  The only reason I didn't rate myself higher is because I don't admire myself or put myself on a pedestal.  I'm not 'cocky' or arrogant.
I'm really, really enjoying the responses here, and even more so, the explanations. I think it's really interesting how we tend to see ourselves, and how each of us would rate ourselves.  I didn't want to post my own self-evaluation until I could see what other people thought.

If I were to rate myself on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give myself an 8.  I mainly care about what I want, and I tend to pine over those things until I get depressed.   I'm selfish a little over materialistic things, but even more so over emotional things.  I'm an extremely selfish conversationalist.  When it comes to my online friends, I typically talk about me.  And when I'm out and about, I always forget about the conventions like "How was your day?" or "How are you?"  I remember the first time a teacher told me that, I was stunned.  She made this really annoyed face at me and said "Instead of always coming in here just to ask me a question, how about starting with a "hi, how are you?"

I had never really thought of it, to be honest, and it ate at me even further when a student said the same thing almost a week later.  He wasn't upset like my coworker, but seemed almost amused by it.  "Mrs. Singell, have you ever noticed that I always ask you how your day was, but you never ask me?"  As a matter of fact, it was 
soraroxaskennedy:

These two confrontations were enough to make me feel quite ashamed. Even
becerra85:
points out that when we chat, I don't give those common courtesies.

I recognize it as a problem and feel terrible about it, but it just doesn't come naturally to me.  I think this is because I'm selfish and always thinking about myself and talking about myself.

I totally have no idea how my family would rate me, however.  I'm inclined to say they'd rate me somewhere between 3 and 5, but that's just because they view me as a giving, loving, happy-bubbly person.  They also know I have a tendency to give things away, forgive debts owed me, and be a total pushover.  I may have been that way in the past and sort of am now... but I'm still conceited.

I don't have friends, so that's not answerable, and my coworkers don't know me well enough to give an opinion one way or the other.  They know I'm willing to help them whenever they ask, so they might give me a low number to make me feel good.

Strangers?  Sadly, I think they'd get totally the wrong impression of who I am.  I think if they initiated conversation, they'd see my shyness and just assume I'm a nice person, thereby giving me a grade of 5 or so.  And if God led me to buy them a meal or bottle of water, maybe a 4.  

Charity and kindness doesn't make someone less self-centered though.  I'm self-centered because... as I mentioned above, I tend to think about myself, care about myself, and feel pity towards myself rather than other people.  The only reason I didn't rate myself higher is because I don't admire myself or put myself on a pedestal.  I'm not 'cocky' or arrogant.
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12-08-14 09:08 PM
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Singelli : Now that you mention it, I'm the same way in conversations. I either totally forget to ask about other people's lives or I forget what they told me as soon as the conversation is done. I guess I really don't care about other people... :/
Singelli : Now that you mention it, I'm the same way in conversations. I either totally forget to ask about other people's lives or I forget what they told me as soon as the conversation is done. I guess I really don't care about other people... :/
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12-08-14 09:49 PM
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I wouldn't say I am self centered, on a scale of 1 to 10 I would probably rate myself a 5 or so, I don't mind helping others if they need it, but I don't make a habit of always helping everyone because that is just a quick way for people to take advantage of my kindness. To me, there is a way to be both firm and kind, and I think I fall somewhere in that area. 

A lot of the times I tend to avoid conflict as much as possible because I really see no point in just getting tangled up in nonsense. Not to mention that the majority of sources of conflict are trivial anyway. I rate myself somewhere in the middle because I make a habit of being kind to others and showing manners, but I also stand firm when it comes to morals and what I believe in.

I'm taking psychology this year and I've learned quite a lot about these kinds of topics...having done experiments on this, I would say that I am a fairly polite and helpful person, but I don't ALWAYS go out of my way to help others


I also took this test as well just for the heck of it and it described me pretty accurately. Great thread topic by the way, I like discussing this type of stuff.
I wouldn't say I am self centered, on a scale of 1 to 10 I would probably rate myself a 5 or so, I don't mind helping others if they need it, but I don't make a habit of always helping everyone because that is just a quick way for people to take advantage of my kindness. To me, there is a way to be both firm and kind, and I think I fall somewhere in that area. 

A lot of the times I tend to avoid conflict as much as possible because I really see no point in just getting tangled up in nonsense. Not to mention that the majority of sources of conflict are trivial anyway. I rate myself somewhere in the middle because I make a habit of being kind to others and showing manners, but I also stand firm when it comes to morals and what I believe in.

I'm taking psychology this year and I've learned quite a lot about these kinds of topics...having done experiments on this, I would say that I am a fairly polite and helpful person, but I don't ALWAYS go out of my way to help others


I also took this test as well just for the heck of it and it described me pretty accurately. Great thread topic by the way, I like discussing this type of stuff.
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12-14-14 12:10 PM
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Quite a difficult question. I would rate myself lower than 2 if it wasn't for the fact that, sometimes, I go out of my way to do something for others, but my personal desire is the same as the others, and I'm not sure if I'm doing it for my own sake or for everybody's.

My family would rate me quite higher than that. I think it's not fair, though. There's a huge age gap between me and my parents/uncles/cousins, we have different mindsets, the fact that I want to do something independently of them shouldn't be considered self-centered. 

My friends would give me a similar rating as I myself did. The way people shows the bond they have with me makes me feel relieved, which in turn makes me overcome my disease, even if it's only for a few hours. That's why I would go out of my way to help my friends. I must also say that sometimes I can be self-centered, to the point of becoming stubborn, but everybody has a bad day, right?

Co-workers? If I had some... Seeing how my future plans are developing, I think the rating would be between 5 and 6. Time will say if I'm right.

Strangers? Well, if they are friends of my friends, my attitude wouldn't change, at first, that is. I'm not someone who likes to interact with people I've never met in my life if I'm alone, so no rating here.

Following the trend, I'm also one of those not to ask about other people's lives. My mother has scolded me a few times for it, and my response is always the same: she just wants to learn some gossip. Why I don't ask things like that? Well, if my friends don't ask me for it, why would I? Most of the times, neither of us do care about each other's lives that much, mainly because when we meet, our common friend vodka also likes to be around 
Quite a difficult question. I would rate myself lower than 2 if it wasn't for the fact that, sometimes, I go out of my way to do something for others, but my personal desire is the same as the others, and I'm not sure if I'm doing it for my own sake or for everybody's.

My family would rate me quite higher than that. I think it's not fair, though. There's a huge age gap between me and my parents/uncles/cousins, we have different mindsets, the fact that I want to do something independently of them shouldn't be considered self-centered. 

My friends would give me a similar rating as I myself did. The way people shows the bond they have with me makes me feel relieved, which in turn makes me overcome my disease, even if it's only for a few hours. That's why I would go out of my way to help my friends. I must also say that sometimes I can be self-centered, to the point of becoming stubborn, but everybody has a bad day, right?

Co-workers? If I had some... Seeing how my future plans are developing, I think the rating would be between 5 and 6. Time will say if I'm right.

Strangers? Well, if they are friends of my friends, my attitude wouldn't change, at first, that is. I'm not someone who likes to interact with people I've never met in my life if I'm alone, so no rating here.

Following the trend, I'm also one of those not to ask about other people's lives. My mother has scolded me a few times for it, and my response is always the same: she just wants to learn some gossip. Why I don't ask things like that? Well, if my friends don't ask me for it, why would I? Most of the times, neither of us do care about each other's lives that much, mainly because when we meet, our common friend vodka also likes to be around 
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12-14-14 01:55 PM
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This is indeed a difficult question.However,If i had 1 minute to answer just so that my answer would sound as clear and straightforward as possible i would say:I give myself a 5 because i not always put my personal interests on top of the needs that come from the people around me but at the same time i can do something based on my inner desires for the sake of becoming more focused and independent which could be seen as a defensive mindset of sorts.I end up feeling as an isolated and open minded person.But I am currently doing my best every day that passes in order to solve this contradiction.
This is indeed a difficult question.However,If i had 1 minute to answer just so that my answer would sound as clear and straightforward as possible i would say:I give myself a 5 because i not always put my personal interests on top of the needs that come from the people around me but at the same time i can do something based on my inner desires for the sake of becoming more focused and independent which could be seen as a defensive mindset of sorts.I end up feeling as an isolated and open minded person.But I am currently doing my best every day that passes in order to solve this contradiction.
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12-19-14 07:39 AM
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Like everything, this really depends on the circumstances. With that said, I'd rate myself somewhere around 5 or 6. I'm an empathetic person by nature, but I'm not good with people and I'm always to focused on solving my problems to worry about the problems of anyone else.
Like everything, this really depends on the circumstances. With that said, I'd rate myself somewhere around 5 or 6. I'm an empathetic person by nature, but I'm not good with people and I'm always to focused on solving my problems to worry about the problems of anyone else.
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12-19-14 05:36 PM
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5 here. A lot of times I will help others despite there being little to no self gain besides the fact that I felt good helping others. Other times I will just plain ignore stuff. I am not a great person, I don't even think that I'm even good. I'm more of a bad person that is doing good things here and there. It just seem more fun to have a balance I think. I am no messiah but I will tell you the hard truth that you don't want to know. At the same time, I might make fun of you to show you how dumb you are which is the reason why I am telling you the truth in the first place; so you can stop being dumb. A lot of people don't like that. Some will tell me they appreciate my bluntness. Whatever it is, I am no higher than a 5.
5 here. A lot of times I will help others despite there being little to no self gain besides the fact that I felt good helping others. Other times I will just plain ignore stuff. I am not a great person, I don't even think that I'm even good. I'm more of a bad person that is doing good things here and there. It just seem more fun to have a balance I think. I am no messiah but I will tell you the hard truth that you don't want to know. At the same time, I might make fun of you to show you how dumb you are which is the reason why I am telling you the truth in the first place; so you can stop being dumb. A lot of people don't like that. Some will tell me they appreciate my bluntness. Whatever it is, I am no higher than a 5.
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12-20-14 03:04 AM
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Singelli : I'd give myself an unsolid 6-8. I don't have a solid answer because I've never thought about how self-centered I am. I am trying to see it both ways: as I think other people would see me, and as how I see myself. 

   I'm pretty sure I am self-centered because I do tend to focus more on my problems than on other problems. That is more in what I do day to day in real life other than on here. On Vizzed, I try to help everyone as best as I can, and I hope (and sort of expect) other people are the same way towards me. In real life, I know a lot of my friends are too self-centered because they like saying what they have to say first, and then don't really listen to what others have to say. They pretend they are listening, but a lot of times, it's obvious they aren't listening. I am now wondering if I am the same way. I don't think I am, but if I am, I probably wouldn't even know because I do it sub-consciously. What I mean by that is I don't really notice I'm doing it.

   I do know there are times when I am self-centered. A lot of times, when I'm at my friends' houses, I just take their food and eat it without asking. Obviously I get that from doing that at my own house, and I don't realize it to be bad at the time. I have stopped doing this because I've seen how mad they get (which is surprising for me considering I don't get mad if a friend takes food without asking at our house). Come to think of it, those are the only times where I can remember I was being self-centered xD.

   Here are a list of rates I think my family/friends would rate me:

Mom: 8 or 9 because she's always talking about the things I haven't done
My sister: 7-9 for the same reason above, but she's younger so it isn't really her place to be mean.
My brother: 7-8 probably, because I'm usually playing video games or talking to my friends, and if he calls me then, I usually tell him I'm    doing something. I do talk to him though.
My dad: I think he would rate me 7-8 too, for the exact same reasons above.
Friends: I actually have no idea. If I were to take a guess, I'd probably say 6 or 7. I don't really know why, I just feel like they think I'm self-centered.
Strangers: Umm... Tough to say, but probably something around 5-8. I can come off as arrogant, funny, a person only for making people laugh. It sort of depends on how the person thinks.

   Singelli, I don't view you as selfish. We've only talked a little bit on here, but I think you're a very nice person. Just because saying hello doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you are selfish. Maybe you were shy growing up (I'm taking guesses because I don't know much about you). I was shy growing up, and that led me to not say hi to people normally. Because I was shy, I still don't say hi to people I meet or my friends. I just start talking about whatever comes to mind.

   The reason people might think you are selfish is because they might not know that it isn't something that naturally comes to you. Thinking of it now, people might view me as selfish too, but I wouldn't let that bother me because I don't try to be. I'll fix it if someone comes to me and says something about it, but I wouldn't even know who it would be affecting anyway. It would be pretty awkward to announce to my whole school that I'm sorry I don't say hi when I talk to them xD. Anyway, hope you don't let it bother you too much. If they say something about it, just say it doesn't come naturally. Hope I made you feel better about yourself, because I honestly don't see it as a problem you can help very much because of my background. Peace .
Singelli : I'd give myself an unsolid 6-8. I don't have a solid answer because I've never thought about how self-centered I am. I am trying to see it both ways: as I think other people would see me, and as how I see myself. 

   I'm pretty sure I am self-centered because I do tend to focus more on my problems than on other problems. That is more in what I do day to day in real life other than on here. On Vizzed, I try to help everyone as best as I can, and I hope (and sort of expect) other people are the same way towards me. In real life, I know a lot of my friends are too self-centered because they like saying what they have to say first, and then don't really listen to what others have to say. They pretend they are listening, but a lot of times, it's obvious they aren't listening. I am now wondering if I am the same way. I don't think I am, but if I am, I probably wouldn't even know because I do it sub-consciously. What I mean by that is I don't really notice I'm doing it.

   I do know there are times when I am self-centered. A lot of times, when I'm at my friends' houses, I just take their food and eat it without asking. Obviously I get that from doing that at my own house, and I don't realize it to be bad at the time. I have stopped doing this because I've seen how mad they get (which is surprising for me considering I don't get mad if a friend takes food without asking at our house). Come to think of it, those are the only times where I can remember I was being self-centered xD.

   Here are a list of rates I think my family/friends would rate me:

Mom: 8 or 9 because she's always talking about the things I haven't done
My sister: 7-9 for the same reason above, but she's younger so it isn't really her place to be mean.
My brother: 7-8 probably, because I'm usually playing video games or talking to my friends, and if he calls me then, I usually tell him I'm    doing something. I do talk to him though.
My dad: I think he would rate me 7-8 too, for the exact same reasons above.
Friends: I actually have no idea. If I were to take a guess, I'd probably say 6 or 7. I don't really know why, I just feel like they think I'm self-centered.
Strangers: Umm... Tough to say, but probably something around 5-8. I can come off as arrogant, funny, a person only for making people laugh. It sort of depends on how the person thinks.

   Singelli, I don't view you as selfish. We've only talked a little bit on here, but I think you're a very nice person. Just because saying hello doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you are selfish. Maybe you were shy growing up (I'm taking guesses because I don't know much about you). I was shy growing up, and that led me to not say hi to people normally. Because I was shy, I still don't say hi to people I meet or my friends. I just start talking about whatever comes to mind.

   The reason people might think you are selfish is because they might not know that it isn't something that naturally comes to you. Thinking of it now, people might view me as selfish too, but I wouldn't let that bother me because I don't try to be. I'll fix it if someone comes to me and says something about it, but I wouldn't even know who it would be affecting anyway. It would be pretty awkward to announce to my whole school that I'm sorry I don't say hi when I talk to them xD. Anyway, hope you don't let it bother you too much. If they say something about it, just say it doesn't come naturally. Hope I made you feel better about yourself, because I honestly don't see it as a problem you can help very much because of my background. Peace .
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