So over the past year and a half I have been cold, atheist and a liar. I was a quote unquote "schizophrenic" until being told it was a extreme mis diagnosis.  I have been hateful, cruel, unforgiving, and worst of all-- a bad friend. I felt today is the best day for a serious little eye-opener about me. Vladimir Torov Vladimirovich Tourshev IV (named after father after father) is a lifeless old part of me that had horrible ideals. Unfortunetly, instead of picking on  him as if he wasn't me isn't an option. I have been to a minister, a therapist, and a nuerologist. The conclusion is that Vlad/Kalj (Kalj is pronounced like kyle  but is slurred and is how I got my nickname since I was my dad's nickname) is autistic. Autism is a form of disconnection socially, emotionally or mentally. In my case, I got lucky and just emotionally am cut off. I was told by the doctor my body is "incapable" of love/emotion. Something that clears up so much. The Friday before the weekend before Martin Luther Jr. King week I was hospitalized in Trinity medical hospital psych unit for a suicide plan that was found in my locker. During that time I was cutting my right wrist (me being left handed) and was caught by my mother and her friend who forced me in their car and ad missioned me to the hospital. The first night the cut re-opened, and I felt as if God was telling me, "Kyle, it is not you're time, this is not my plan for you." The next day I cried and cried in my hospital room . I was afraid I was hallucinating.  Fearing I was insane. It wasn't until a kid's grandfather came, this kid's grandfather was a minister, and he spent three days showing me the path to Christ again. Ashamed of the life I lived, I was re-baptized at a Catholic church, and have since gone to church every sunday and wedsday when my schedule permits. I just want to apologize for my cruelty, lack of sympathy, and my hatred towards people and blind jealousy. I don't know how to wrap this up, so, sorry. 

Singelli :
mrfe :
Eniitan :
MoblinGardens :
metroidhunter72 :

Kyle. I will say it again I forgive you ok? I know you may had said hurting words to me as I tried to help you. You pushed me away more....so I said it won't help if I do that so. I chose to distance myself from you. Little did I know that you would talk to me again. I felt joy, happiness overflowing my heart because my old friend was talking to me again. You asked me why I was crying. said tears of joy Kyle. That means I can talk to you again. I'm glad god see to you. He helped you. So Kyle no matter what happens. Always keep on believing. God loves you he loves me he loves us all. So continue to be the amazing supporting friend that I know. ^-^


Happy birthday kyle. I hope that you are having a wonderful special day. ^^

*Cuddles Kyle*

You know we were always there for you and never lost faith in you. The same is true and will always be true.    I can not ,however, and will not accept that you can not 'love'.  I know that much to be untrue.  We've talked, so you know everything I have to say.  Thank you for the apology though, and I'm so glad life is looking up for you.  Good friends will never leave your side, just remember that.  

Dude, I'm always here for you and you know that. I'm sure many other people here on Vizzed will say the exact same thing. I know a couple things about Autism (my mom being an educational assistant) and it's the fact that no matter what doctors say about not being able to love or whatever isn't true. I think that everyone is able to love. Love is an emotional attachment (In my opinion) and I can tell that you feel emotion. Just remember that we're all here for you. Not just me but everyone who comes to your side when you need help. If you ever need to talk just shoot me a PM, buddy.

Since you talked about your worst enemy, I'll talk about mine, Ano. Ano has been mean to me and he is the leader of the Usurper Knights. My oc, Spider(TFMode) was part of his team until ano said "you can not fight Nekoo" so Spider Left the Usurper Knights and made two teams for him and his Buddy.

I relate a lot, Kyle.  I have Asperger's Syndrome and Schizophrenia and have put my family through heck at times.  But I'm trying to do better.  That you can't feel emotion/love is a blatant lie.  It may be more difficult for you to feel love, but it is very much possible.  I love my family and am a humorist of sorts.  I love to get people to laugh and feel good!  Find something that makes you feel and pursue it to the fullest, never letting it go.  I've lost sight of a lot of things, but I can still feel.  I may hear voices in my head, but I try to only listen to those that might be the Holy Spirit or my conscience.  It's hard, but it is possible, and I've gotten better at it (but not perfect).  I've never really struggled with multiple personalities, so I can't fully relate, but I promise you that you can remove the bad parts of your personality(ies) through love, prayer, and action.  Great things aren't often easy to get, but they are worth it.