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Why would anyone pick an online relationship over a real life one?

 

04-03-14 07:50 PM
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I saw this comment earlier and I'm struck by it.  Someone had an online girlfriend and was basically asked out by someone they knew in real life.  They had never met their online girlfriend before but they talked to them a few times a week for the past few months.  They said no to the real person because they 'had a girlfriend.'

What would you do?  Do you take the flesh and blood person you can hang out with and do things with and enjoy each other presence or do you take the existing online relationship?

I would never pass up a real person for a digital one.  Would you?  Why?
I saw this comment earlier and I'm struck by it.  Someone had an online girlfriend and was basically asked out by someone they knew in real life.  They had never met their online girlfriend before but they talked to them a few times a week for the past few months.  They said no to the real person because they 'had a girlfriend.'

What would you do?  Do you take the flesh and blood person you can hang out with and do things with and enjoy each other presence or do you take the existing online relationship?

I would never pass up a real person for a digital one.  Would you?  Why?

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04-03-14 07:57 PM
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I'd prefer an online relationship because.... well a negative opinion would be easier to take. Like, it's easier thinking some random person on the internet thinks you're a piece of sh*t than a person you know in real life. It's easier to get close to the person.
I'd prefer an online relationship because.... well a negative opinion would be easier to take. Like, it's easier thinking some random person on the internet thinks you're a piece of sh*t than a person you know in real life. It's easier to get close to the person.

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04-03-14 08:33 PM
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I've never had an online relationship, so I can't compare the two for myself.

However, it's about what floats your boat. If you don't mind the lack of physical intimacy, then an online relationship can be just as fulfilling.

It's rather closed-minded to -only- limit oneself to what one has already experienced.

If I'm in an online relationship -AND- it's someone I love to chat with, then yes. I'd give up the real-life girl, whose personality I may or may not actually like.

While physical contact is something I really enjoy, it's not the -only- thing I care about.
I've never had an online relationship, so I can't compare the two for myself.

However, it's about what floats your boat. If you don't mind the lack of physical intimacy, then an online relationship can be just as fulfilling.

It's rather closed-minded to -only- limit oneself to what one has already experienced.

If I'm in an online relationship -AND- it's someone I love to chat with, then yes. I'd give up the real-life girl, whose personality I may or may not actually like.

While physical contact is something I really enjoy, it's not the -only- thing I care about.

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(edited by EideticMemory on 04-03-14 08:35 PM)    

04-04-14 07:01 AM
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Uh... You do realize that there is a real person behind the screen too, right? The online girlfriend isn't made out of digital codes, lol. Unless that's what you actually mean...

Also, if the person doesn't even like the real life person, why should they dump their online girlfriend for someone that they don't feel that connection to?

That's just one way of looking at online dating. You didn't really state in the post if the person likes the real life person or not. If they did, then they would probably feel some sort of turmoil on who to choose.
Uh... You do realize that there is a real person behind the screen too, right? The online girlfriend isn't made out of digital codes, lol. Unless that's what you actually mean...

Also, if the person doesn't even like the real life person, why should they dump their online girlfriend for someone that they don't feel that connection to?

That's just one way of looking at online dating. You didn't really state in the post if the person likes the real life person or not. If they did, then they would probably feel some sort of turmoil on who to choose.

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(edited by Mistress on 04-04-14 07:12 AM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: deggle,

04-04-14 07:21 AM
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I realize that a person is behind that screen.  But if you never meet them, never hear them talk in person or watch a movie together or share space.... what's the difference?  It's almost like a game.  You meet a character, you spend time with them, and you turn your computer off and get dinner or go to bed or go about your day.

I talked to a girl for half a year online.  We hung out, we met up at certain times, but we couldn't actually DO anything together.  No sports, no walks, no hand-holding.  We shared our thoughts and ideas and beliefs and we got along well.  But she was a screen and that was that.  I even talked to her on the phone and that was nice.  We sent pictures to each other and shared our lives.  Then we hung up and I got on my my real life.

It's different.  And no, women (and boys) aren't digital codes.  But they aren't flesh and blood either.  You can reach out and touch flesh and blood.
I realize that a person is behind that screen.  But if you never meet them, never hear them talk in person or watch a movie together or share space.... what's the difference?  It's almost like a game.  You meet a character, you spend time with them, and you turn your computer off and get dinner or go to bed or go about your day.

I talked to a girl for half a year online.  We hung out, we met up at certain times, but we couldn't actually DO anything together.  No sports, no walks, no hand-holding.  We shared our thoughts and ideas and beliefs and we got along well.  But she was a screen and that was that.  I even talked to her on the phone and that was nice.  We sent pictures to each other and shared our lives.  Then we hung up and I got on my my real life.

It's different.  And no, women (and boys) aren't digital codes.  But they aren't flesh and blood either.  You can reach out and touch flesh and blood.

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04-04-14 07:52 AM
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Why pick? Save the monogamy for when, and if, you decide to get married. I'm not talking about doing anything dishonest either. The guy is "hanging out" with the girl Online obviously, why shouldn't he hang out with this other girl too?

I want to be clear, I'm talking about spending time with more than one friend, not sleeping with more than one friend.
Why pick? Save the monogamy for when, and if, you decide to get married. I'm not talking about doing anything dishonest either. The guy is "hanging out" with the girl Online obviously, why shouldn't he hang out with this other girl too?

I want to be clear, I'm talking about spending time with more than one friend, not sleeping with more than one friend.

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04-04-14 08:24 PM
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Closest I have come is long distance so if it was someone I loved through a computer compared to someone I liked and could have with me I would take the computer, and I did.
Closest I have come is long distance so if it was someone I loved through a computer compared to someone I liked and could have with me I would take the computer, and I did.

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Why not? Maybe you aren't physically attractive so you would rather have an online girlfriend who doesn't know what you look like. As opposed to someone who could dump you for your looks
Why not? Maybe you aren't physically attractive so you would rather have an online girlfriend who doesn't know what you look like. As opposed to someone who could dump you for your looks

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04-04-14 10:02 PM
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From I think, an online relationship is easier to communicate and rant out your thoughts and secrets without being criticized. When using the internet, nobody can tell you what to do. 
From I think, an online relationship is easier to communicate and rant out your thoughts and secrets without being criticized. When using the internet, nobody can tell you what to do. 

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04-05-14 08:04 AM
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warmaker :  

As someone who has been single for years I don’t see online relationships as something legitimate.  Of course I have several friends who I have never met in person who I have become really good friends with over the years, mostly people I have met through my work as a writer and such, but in regard to romantic relationships it doesn’t seem viable. 

 

If someone wants a real relationship there needs to be quality time between the people in the relationship.  Unfortunately, in my experience I have come across a few people who prefer relationships that I like to call “Technologically advanced.”  I have basically taken those who prefer things that way as people who really don’t want a real relationship and leave it at that.

 

Personally I think it is a cop out for those who say they want a relationship, but don’t want to put in the time in order to make a relationship work.  My stance on the subject might not be popular to some, but that’s how I feel.

 

The technology available today is great, but in regard to relationships as you get older it’s better to have a relationship that is a real one where the people involved put in equal time to the relationship.  Just one man’s opinion.  

warmaker :  

As someone who has been single for years I don’t see online relationships as something legitimate.  Of course I have several friends who I have never met in person who I have become really good friends with over the years, mostly people I have met through my work as a writer and such, but in regard to romantic relationships it doesn’t seem viable. 

 

If someone wants a real relationship there needs to be quality time between the people in the relationship.  Unfortunately, in my experience I have come across a few people who prefer relationships that I like to call “Technologically advanced.”  I have basically taken those who prefer things that way as people who really don’t want a real relationship and leave it at that.

 

Personally I think it is a cop out for those who say they want a relationship, but don’t want to put in the time in order to make a relationship work.  My stance on the subject might not be popular to some, but that’s how I feel.

 

The technology available today is great, but in regard to relationships as you get older it’s better to have a relationship that is a real one where the people involved put in equal time to the relationship.  Just one man’s opinion.  



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04-06-14 08:03 PM
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 I would never go that far. I wouldn’t mind having a few close friends online, but I would never go as far as to say that I have an online girlfriend. I would never do that.

 I would never go that far. I wouldn’t mind having a few close friends online, but I would never go as far as to say that I have an online girlfriend. I would never do that.



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(edited by zanderlex on 04-06-14 08:03 PM)    

04-06-14 08:13 PM
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I've given up on long distance relationships, but I'm willing to commit to an online relationship if the person I'm dating lives within a drivable distance from me (one or two, maybe three hours away). The thing I like about online relationships is that with the internet as advanced as it is these days, it's easier to find someone you connect with on a deeper level. You can't go to a bar and meet someone who, for example, is as passionate about something as you, has the same dreams and ambitions as you, etc. unless you're really lucky. When you use the internet, you can find someone like that rather quickly, and then from there it's just conversation to find out if you click with the other person.
I've given up on long distance relationships, but I'm willing to commit to an online relationship if the person I'm dating lives within a drivable distance from me (one or two, maybe three hours away). The thing I like about online relationships is that with the internet as advanced as it is these days, it's easier to find someone you connect with on a deeper level. You can't go to a bar and meet someone who, for example, is as passionate about something as you, has the same dreams and ambitions as you, etc. unless you're really lucky. When you use the internet, you can find someone like that rather quickly, and then from there it's just conversation to find out if you click with the other person.

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04-06-14 09:16 PM
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I honestly don't know why someone would prefer an online relationship over a real one, but I  guess it is because it is easily accessible and it can be done at the touch of a button, it is more convenient and you don't even have to meet them. I would never even consider it, it isn't real and for all I know, it could be some psycho 40 year old that kidnaps children, I have seen and heard these things before, which is why I avoid all social media like facebook, myspace, twitter and instagram. You never really know you are actually talking to, and it isn't worth the risk of losing your life to commit to an online relationship...real ones are better. 
I honestly don't know why someone would prefer an online relationship over a real one, but I  guess it is because it is easily accessible and it can be done at the touch of a button, it is more convenient and you don't even have to meet them. I would never even consider it, it isn't real and for all I know, it could be some psycho 40 year old that kidnaps children, I have seen and heard these things before, which is why I avoid all social media like facebook, myspace, twitter and instagram. You never really know you are actually talking to, and it isn't worth the risk of losing your life to commit to an online relationship...real ones are better. 

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04-06-14 11:28 PM
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Razor-987 : Exactly why I go for people who live close to me. I meet them and get to know them using the internet, but then I drive a few towns over and meet them in reality. So far, I haven't had anyone too terribly crazy. The worst I've had was one girl who was so nervous that she whistled in every single moment of silence in our conversation (yeah, that didn't last long), and another girl who wanted to drop acid while we played Mario Kart 64 (that didn't last long either). Every other online relationship I've had has been at least somewhat fulfilling.
Razor-987 : Exactly why I go for people who live close to me. I meet them and get to know them using the internet, but then I drive a few towns over and meet them in reality. So far, I haven't had anyone too terribly crazy. The worst I've had was one girl who was so nervous that she whistled in every single moment of silence in our conversation (yeah, that didn't last long), and another girl who wanted to drop acid while we played Mario Kart 64 (that didn't last long either). Every other online relationship I've had has been at least somewhat fulfilling.

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04-07-14 07:41 AM
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Zurenriri : That's why I'd not include your answer.  if you can drive and meet someone, it can turn physical.  I read about this folks who have a boyfriend in Oregon and they live in Ohio and they don't fly to see the other person.

Someone within striking distance makes absolute sense because you can go meet in the middle and have food together.
Zurenriri : That's why I'd not include your answer.  if you can drive and meet someone, it can turn physical.  I read about this folks who have a boyfriend in Oregon and they live in Ohio and they don't fly to see the other person.

Someone within striking distance makes absolute sense because you can go meet in the middle and have food together.

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04-07-14 03:29 PM
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warmaker : Yeah, THAT kind of online relationship is a bit silly. For a while I was talking to a girl in Southern California, 700 miles from me because she was the one of only two people I've ever met on OkCupid who had a "99% match" rating with me. We talked and spent a lot of time gawking about our favorite games in the Legend of Zelda series, and whether or not Light could have used the Death Note a little more efficiently. It was a fun conversation, but eventually we went back to talking to people closer to us.

One of my friends is dating someone in Nevada, nearly 1,000 miles away, and personally, I think she's crazy. Even crazier is that she left her apartment and moved back in with her parents in order to save money to make the trip to go see her. Crazier yet is that her parents are okay with this.
warmaker : Yeah, THAT kind of online relationship is a bit silly. For a while I was talking to a girl in Southern California, 700 miles from me because she was the one of only two people I've ever met on OkCupid who had a "99% match" rating with me. We talked and spent a lot of time gawking about our favorite games in the Legend of Zelda series, and whether or not Light could have used the Death Note a little more efficiently. It was a fun conversation, but eventually we went back to talking to people closer to us.

One of my friends is dating someone in Nevada, nearly 1,000 miles away, and personally, I think she's crazy. Even crazier is that she left her apartment and moved back in with her parents in order to save money to make the trip to go see her. Crazier yet is that her parents are okay with this.

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04-07-14 05:14 PM
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warmaker :

1 reason.


I can actually find girls that I like online.

But it seems like the follow up is so hard, getting to know their parents, actually meeting them. finding out how compatible you are in real life.

I mean, people are different online, including me. Well, sorta, I am way more energetic online, but I am usually just as energetic in real life if I am talking about something I love, or am having a real good time, which is basically what I am doing on Vizzed.

In the end, I doubt that it would be worth it, but it sure seems like a good way to find someone I like sometimes. I have not had any real female friends since I was 10, when genders didn't matter as much. On Vizzed, it's the same way somehow, and I like it, but it's not worth allowing you to get infatuated (yes it's called infatuation, not love, but infatuation can lead to love if used the right way) with someone online. Probably just a bunch of heartache at the end. Not to mention, some people seem to totally overlook age when the decided whom they like online. Talk about being twitterpated.

So yeah, that would be a "no" for me.
warmaker :

1 reason.


I can actually find girls that I like online.

But it seems like the follow up is so hard, getting to know their parents, actually meeting them. finding out how compatible you are in real life.

I mean, people are different online, including me. Well, sorta, I am way more energetic online, but I am usually just as energetic in real life if I am talking about something I love, or am having a real good time, which is basically what I am doing on Vizzed.

In the end, I doubt that it would be worth it, but it sure seems like a good way to find someone I like sometimes. I have not had any real female friends since I was 10, when genders didn't matter as much. On Vizzed, it's the same way somehow, and I like it, but it's not worth allowing you to get infatuated (yes it's called infatuation, not love, but infatuation can lead to love if used the right way) with someone online. Probably just a bunch of heartache at the end. Not to mention, some people seem to totally overlook age when the decided whom they like online. Talk about being twitterpated.

So yeah, that would be a "no" for me.

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