Hi everyone well I got inspired by this person's thread his name is Lightning Fang07 he did a thread on Bullying is a true issue. I wouldn't had post into the thread but.....it felt right to. This thread is for people who got bulled and now is living in the aftermath of it. So my question is.....some of us are having a hard to move on from some of the past, that is preventing some people to go on with our lives.....I'm still having a hard time but I do try, or maybe because of how bad the inflict was that it won't change......some can for other depending on how bad their situation was. So I'm asking is there a way we can move on from this? If so maybe it will take a long time too.... please say what you have in mind anyone can post here.

personally I was never really bullied, I mean I had 2 fights thoughout high school and there were some jackasses here and there but nothing too bad. Really all you can do is say that's in the past you aren't the same person you were then, hopefully you will developed a backbone for yourself to stand up for yourself and won't put up with bullcrap. If anything you should pity the people who bullied you as they are the sad clowns who usually get nowhere in life and.or have bad karma.

I haven't really been bullied over the years. I usually was fine. Sure, the occasional jerks, but those were a given.

But, to answer your question, yes, there is a way. And it doesn't really take long.

Well, first of all, if you're still being bullied somewhere, like a church or a school, try to ignore the bullies. They're fueled by your anger. They want you to be mad. If you try to ignore them, they'll get the feeling you're not affected by it, and back down. Or, if you ignore them, and they keep annoying you, there's a solution to that, too.

Try to stand up to them, or tell an authority/official. If you stand up to them (verbally, of course, if you don't want to be violent), they'll realize you're not some weakling. Give them a little push along with it. 

Of course, like I said, you could tell an authority. Technically, bullying is against the law, as it can give suicidal thoughts, emotional, mental, and physical harm, and other things. An authority can really make them scared, since they probably don't want to stand up to someone who really has power.

All I have to say is this, bullies are people that are self conscious about them selfs, the way they look and they way the are as a person so they go and usually target the people who aren't likely to stand up for themselfs and try to bring them down by harassing them and making them feel bad to make the bully themselfs feel better about therself. If you ignore them and don't let there comments get you they will leave you alone because if you ignore them they can't get any fun out of bullying you. Furthermore if your being physically bullied try to stand up for your self show some self worth to your bully if you give'em a good blow to the head and if you can't take them on physically then tell a adult, for cyber bullies ingnore there verbal assault and tell them you have nothing better to do with your time so you get online to simply stalk and harass me you have no life. And if that doesn't work tell a guidance consolar about your bully.

I was bullied for years... the effects of being the chubby white girl in a mostly Hispanic school district. I think the first word I learned in Spanish was "gordita" which roughly means little fat girl. I was insulted, attacked, had my things stolen, ignored by teachers that didn't care, mistreated by the police, etc etc. Normally, going to the teachers is a good way to take care of it, but we don't always have that option... I had racism on top of bullying to content with (something extremely rare for someone of my ethnicity to ever say, I know, but it is true).

Then there was the whole pagan thing coming out. That didn't last as long, but that first year it all started up again with the insults. It ended in the Vice Principal's office because I went after a student for saying I killed cats or something.

First off, I can tell you first hand that saying "Ignore them", does not work. Never does, and the people that say it have never experienced true bullying. Violence doesn't work either, though I do admit that it is a powerful deterrent. When I went after that kid I threw a desk in the process... even though I didn't lay a hand on him before the teacher broke it up, most people backed off afterward (not the one I went after though). That teacher let it continue (she hated me) but other teachers did not. I remember in 12th grade, three years after this whole incident when even he didn't bother me anymore, one of his buddies yelled out "cat killer" in the auditorium while we were doing set work for a musical... the shop teacher that was there flipped out on him. I'd never even had that teacher before, and he not only made the guy apologize but did so himself because it was his student.

It really does come down to realizing that bullies are pathetic losers who feel that the only way that they can feel good about themselves is to tear other people down. If you find your own self worth, something that you like about yourself and are good at, they have a harder time touching you. You have your friends, who stand by you when you are kicked to the curb... if the same thing happened to them, their friends would likely abandon them because they are not cool anymore. Everything about them that makes them "better" than you is a lie. Coming to that realization is the first step to not caring about the douchey things that they do. It takes years and the right combination of friends and family but it happens.

Also, cliche as it is, there is the knowledge that in a lot of cases, you will show up to your high school reunion to find that you have the solid career and they are working three minimum wage jobs to get by... or that they work for you.

I was bullied all through school.  I was a nerd, fat, geeky chick who loved video games, wearing boys cloths, and playing D and D.  The result, other then what I consider to be endless hours of joy with the few friends I have had, has resulted in a general feeling that everyone is waiting to cause some sort of emotional harm.  I am told this is a common feeling with people who where bullied for a long time.  And unfortunately, a lot of people will say Eh walk it off.'  or, "Words don't hurt.'  Well this is compete nonsense, words do a lot of harm, more so when they are aimed at already self conscience young people, and lets be honest, what young person does not have some sort of self image issue?  

I suppose the most that can be said is, it gets better in time, if you can get through it, I found once I hit collage people cared a whole lot less about what people did, sure there is always going to be that jerk who thinks they are better then everyone else.  But with time, your skin gets thicker and you learn to cope.  I have, and I know a lot of people who have.

Eniitan :

Well, I think everyone at one time or another deals with bullying. Speaking for my own experience, I was bullied. I am disabled and because of my disability there was always a feeling of being a second-class citizen. Sometimes I would be called names and or, made fun of. I wear braces on my legs and use crutches when I go out. I cannot tell you how many times someone has come up to me asking me either “What happened to you?” Or, “What disease do you have?”

 

It doesn’t happen so much anymore because frankly I have become a hermit and due to my being a writer I hardly ever leave my house. It doesn’t bother me nowadays when people ask me questions like that because as I’ve gotten older I have learned to try and enlighten people who may not be as familiar with the concept of people who have disabilities. When I was younger however, it really bothered me. I freely admit that I tried to fit in and be part of the “In crowd” and tried to be things that I wasn’t. Looking back on things many years later what I should have done was simply be myself.

 

I have been writing for many years but I kept the fact that I was a writer to myself for a real long time. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time and why I kept it to myself. Many years later I wish that I had told people instead of trying to be “In” with everyone else. As I have gotten older I realize now that I was wrong to try and fit in with people who quite frankly were not good for me or to me. One of my big mistakes when I was in school was I tried so hard to fit in with the people who weren’t good for me but at the same time, I ended up pushing people who were good for me away.

 

I think of it now as part of my maturing process and really believe that if it weren’t for the struggles I went through, and the mistakes I made as a teenager; I probably wouldn’t be the person that I am today. Even though so much time has passed however, I don’t reach out to too many people from back then. The person I was back then and the person that I am now are different and because I dropped out of high school although I have no anger toward anybody, I have learned to keep myself especially when people who said that they were my friends more or less forgot about me.

 

If someone were to reach out to me though, I would hear them out. I have had the opportunity to reconnect with some people from my past and for the most part even though some of them weren’t very good to me I remain cordial with them. I do though try and avoid get-togethers and things like that.

 

I do believe that bullying is a problem more so now than when I was growing up because of things like the Internet. It’s sad that some people choose to treat people badly. I think that the world would be much better off if we as a society could simply sit down and talk to each other and learn about what makes us different but more importantly, learn about the things that we have in common. The world really would be a much better place if that were to happen. At least that’s how I feel about it.

I feel like my personality was forever altered by what I experienced. Also, I believe it initiated a domino effect on most of my future decisions. I got into high school and met some really great friends that made me feel like I was acceptable. I was very active in some of the schools extra-curricular activities and excelled at what I pursued but there was always a needy part of me that wanted more. I was never happy with what I had and that is when I began drinking at 16. Socially at first. By senior year, I had dozens of bottles of liquor stashed in my room and had begun experimenting with drugs. There were more experiments and more addictions AND more experiments and more addictions. I sobered briefly in the early Millennium long enough to start a family. When things became unsatisfying or overly stressful, I went back to my addictions. By the end of August 2012 I was so messed up that I had begun talking to myself. I would also fly into fits of rage or tears at various points during any given day. I was making a lot of poor decisions. My family helped me into a treatment facility because they were afraid for my life. So yeah, I spent roughly 20 years chasing addiction with a 2 year hiatus in the middle.

I celebrated one year sober on 9-1-13. "They" say that when you abuse substances daily your maturity stops developing. I figure that puts my emotional maturity level at 19. "They" also say that you have to learn to love that kid who was bullied long ago. Many of us in this thread were taught to hate our mere existence. Loving the boy that was me is difficult. I couldn't possibly know what my future holds all that I know is that I can no longer escape in the same old ways. I think there will always be some sort of escape for us but it doesn't have to be destructive. It may sound cheesy to those that have never been bullied, but being a member of this site and contributing is my first steps towards relearning how to socialize in a clean way with everyday people and also learning how to do constructive things with my time. 

Don't runaway and escape to bad places. Try to stay focused on the big picture.

over the years after being bullied i have an attitude towards people, i cant trust people really because of it either, i have been bullied because of my height, the way i talk and the way i look, so its hard for me to trust and not have an attitude

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