Hey everyone,

Actually my first time posting on here related to something other than the game plugin.  Not sure where to turn and this actually seems like a good place possibly. 

I'm going through a pretty extreme crisis and so wish I knew what direction to go.  I'm a mess and so need to heal.  Problem is my life situation is pretty bad for that.  I'm basically always stuck at home with no car, have severe fatigue daily due to health issues, have like no money, and have the only thing that sounds good when I get too tired to work stress me out to the extreme.  Basically I worry about possible unknown consequences to lustfulness / thinking about sex.  I could stop that completely if implications were such that it was clearly the right thing, but seriously I have like nothing else that sounds good right now.  I could take up exercise, but that wouldn't use up that much time.

I'm really confused the right way to look at life.  I worry about possible evil forces I don't understand or even just unknown consequences of my issues on a spiritual level.  I've been doing programming work to make money from small jobs I find on the internet.  I deal with so much fatigue that it's hard though and have a situation where I can't understand how that would be the best way to make money.  It sure seems like I could help a LOT of people by contributing intellectual concept type information toward that end.  Not sure who would be best to work with.  If people on here are interested I suppose we could even start some organization for that purpose. 

If I (or a group of people wanting to do good) got together and got the ball rolling, it seems like I could likely get money (or desired ends for lifestyle improvement to heal) donated or lent to me.  I'm open minded, but the way I see things is that clearly if I got healthy (which seems easy with lifestyle change) I would do really well with business where I could pay back lent money with a lot of interest even.  Given that situation, does it make sense for me to focus on doing programming work with my time?  Seems to me (especially considering could pay back donated/lent money later) that it would be objectively bad to do programming work because it would take time away from helping others.

At the same time I can worry about if there are just implications I don't understand related to me being such a mess and being given money.  I especially worry about that in relation to sexuality.  No way to understand how the internet in my reality manifests in such an awful unbelievable way with porn.  Also I worry about my lust, although I'm totally honest and would be open to considering accepting donated/lent money that had lifestyle (including even thoughts) requirements I would have to adhere to.

Thanks for reading.  Very curious to get input and hear if anyone is interested in working together over the internet.

-Tom