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Dealing with frustrations with fitting in

 

06-16-11 04:26 AM
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i think everyone fits in somewhere you just gotta find a way. do you often try to get in with some groups or do you like wait for them to come to you? but yeah i do know what your goign through to a degree, recently my friend group has turned into couples and those annoying 'look at my relationship' couples so i left the group at first i had trouble making new friends but then i just joined another group. If you be yourself thats good but soemtimes yourself could be too different for people (which isnt a bad thign i liek those kind of people) but in this day 'n' age i think you gotta make little tweeks of who you are or make little adjustments to fit in with a group, confidence is key too but this is just my take on friends
i think everyone fits in somewhere you just gotta find a way. do you often try to get in with some groups or do you like wait for them to come to you? but yeah i do know what your goign through to a degree, recently my friend group has turned into couples and those annoying 'look at my relationship' couples so i left the group at first i had trouble making new friends but then i just joined another group. If you be yourself thats good but soemtimes yourself could be too different for people (which isnt a bad thign i liek those kind of people) but in this day 'n' age i think you gotta make little tweeks of who you are or make little adjustments to fit in with a group, confidence is key too but this is just my take on friends

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06-16-11 04:32 AM
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I've never fit in anywhere at all for as long as I can remember. And I'll be honest, I hated it so much I did begin to think of suicide considering I have depression, and quite a serious case of it. But now however, I actually quite enjoy being alone. I can be myself without anyone judging me. Those who do like me are good people because they like me for who I am, not because I try to be something I am not. My friends are very few, but our relationships are extremely solid and they are awesome people as well.
I've never fit in anywhere at all for as long as I can remember. And I'll be honest, I hated it so much I did begin to think of suicide considering I have depression, and quite a serious case of it. But now however, I actually quite enjoy being alone. I can be myself without anyone judging me. Those who do like me are good people because they like me for who I am, not because I try to be something I am not. My friends are very few, but our relationships are extremely solid and they are awesome people as well.


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06-16-11 08:30 AM
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Vincent Swiftstrike : Basically the same case with me. 

I like to be anti-social because of my past experiences with school bullying and bullying in general. I've never fitted in the hearing world, which was expected because I was deaf, but bullying just because I was deaf was over the line. It damaged me, badly. Worsened my born-with temper issues. One case was bad, when a kid only simply bumped into me, and I just snapped. I beat up him, before a teacher found me and took me away. So far, I've been trying to control my anger, and yeah, it's oh so much better, but I do still have the urges to be violent. 
I've grew up in a broken home, even though my parents loved me, they abused me claiming that it was what other parents did. I didn't 'shape up', or decide it was a lesson learned. All it did to me was to give me a BAD rebellious personality, causing me to say "ha, no, f*ck that." to any kind of orders except from people who I actually like and respect. 
It was so bad, I was disagonised with a mental disorder called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which is a less-severity case of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, or more commonly known as multiple personalities disorder.) 
I'm 15, almost 16, and I have not found my place in the world. I do have friends, solid friends, but I have no "dark" friends, like those who truly knows me and knows and understands what I've been through. 
If close, Vizzed is the closest place I fit in, and if not, completely fits in. 
Vincent Swiftstrike : Basically the same case with me. 

I like to be anti-social because of my past experiences with school bullying and bullying in general. I've never fitted in the hearing world, which was expected because I was deaf, but bullying just because I was deaf was over the line. It damaged me, badly. Worsened my born-with temper issues. One case was bad, when a kid only simply bumped into me, and I just snapped. I beat up him, before a teacher found me and took me away. So far, I've been trying to control my anger, and yeah, it's oh so much better, but I do still have the urges to be violent. 
I've grew up in a broken home, even though my parents loved me, they abused me claiming that it was what other parents did. I didn't 'shape up', or decide it was a lesson learned. All it did to me was to give me a BAD rebellious personality, causing me to say "ha, no, f*ck that." to any kind of orders except from people who I actually like and respect. 
It was so bad, I was disagonised with a mental disorder called BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), which is a less-severity case of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, or more commonly known as multiple personalities disorder.) 
I'm 15, almost 16, and I have not found my place in the world. I do have friends, solid friends, but I have no "dark" friends, like those who truly knows me and knows and understands what I've been through. 
If close, Vizzed is the closest place I fit in, and if not, completely fits in. 


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06-18-11 01:16 AM
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As everyone's already said, you fit in here!  However that's not an incredibly hard thing.  Most of the people here seem to get along great for the short amount of total time I've actually spent on the boards.  Maybe it's just nicer people, or maybe the mods actually do their job, but the community is a bit different from the standard gaming and chat boards.

Getting back on topic, even if you truly don't fit into any group, just remember this quote from Kamina: "If there's a wall then smash it.  If there's no path, make one with your hands."  The relevant part is bold for reader convenience.    But if there's no group you fit into, make one and find people like you.
As everyone's already said, you fit in here!  However that's not an incredibly hard thing.  Most of the people here seem to get along great for the short amount of total time I've actually spent on the boards.  Maybe it's just nicer people, or maybe the mods actually do their job, but the community is a bit different from the standard gaming and chat boards.

Getting back on topic, even if you truly don't fit into any group, just remember this quote from Kamina: "If there's a wall then smash it.  If there's no path, make one with your hands."  The relevant part is bold for reader convenience.    But if there's no group you fit into, make one and find people like you.

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06-18-11 01:29 AM
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I can relate with this. Up until 7th grade I was fine with the crowd I hung with, then I started getting into trouble with the law, arrests yada yada, probation yada yada, then went to a probation school in 8th grade.

Age 15 I was initiated into a local biker gang; got hard into drugs; age 19 found my identity in Christ. During this time though I had trouble communicating a lot of time with this group. Maybe because at the time I was an introverted type. Well, I'd say now that even as a Christian I don't fit in some times with the church group, but the important thing is that my relationship with God now overcomes all this.
I can relate with this. Up until 7th grade I was fine with the crowd I hung with, then I started getting into trouble with the law, arrests yada yada, probation yada yada, then went to a probation school in 8th grade.

Age 15 I was initiated into a local biker gang; got hard into drugs; age 19 found my identity in Christ. During this time though I had trouble communicating a lot of time with this group. Maybe because at the time I was an introverted type. Well, I'd say now that even as a Christian I don't fit in some times with the church group, but the important thing is that my relationship with God now overcomes all this.

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06-18-11 11:47 AM
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I haven't  fit in anywhere for like.. 12 years so far.

I'm not kidding I mean I have some friends but they get in trouble alot..and get me in trouble alot..so I guess they're'nt friends
I haven't  fit in anywhere for like.. 12 years so far.

I'm not kidding I mean I have some friends but they get in trouble alot..and get me in trouble alot..so I guess they're'nt friends

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06-18-11 01:07 PM
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I think everyone feels like an outcast from time to time. You think you don't fit in at all, but in actuality you fit in just fine, you just don't realize it. Of course what is fitting in? Is it having tons of friends and going tons of places with them or is it having someone to confide in. I've never had a lot of friends because I'm really shy and I used to wish I could have a big group of friends like everyone else. It took me awhile to realize I need quality over quantity.
I think everyone feels like an outcast from time to time. You think you don't fit in at all, but in actuality you fit in just fine, you just don't realize it. Of course what is fitting in? Is it having tons of friends and going tons of places with them or is it having someone to confide in. I've never had a lot of friends because I'm really shy and I used to wish I could have a big group of friends like everyone else. It took me awhile to realize I need quality over quantity.

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06-18-11 01:53 PM
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I fit in everywhere i go i guess i'm lucky
I fit in everywhere i go i guess i'm lucky

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06-18-11 01:57 PM
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I don't fit in as much with the people at my school because I'm different. Most of the friends I had in Elementary School have either changed, or moved to a different school. I still have friends at my school, but it's not the same as having a best friend.
If it was between the world and your friend, which would you choose?
I don't fit in as much with the people at my school because I'm different. Most of the friends I had in Elementary School have either changed, or moved to a different school. I still have friends at my school, but it's not the same as having a best friend.




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06-21-11 04:46 AM
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I don't think I've ever fit in with any group. I'm odd and more than likely have a social disorder. I barely spoke for most of my high school years, had a rough time in middle school until I was held back a grade before high school, and I don't remember anything from my elementary school days really. I spent most of my time reading and watching movies since the characters in the stories could never hurt you and would gladly accept your company. I was lucky enough to find other weirdo's who were willing to look past each others differences though.

My advice? Don't try to fit in. You wouldn't jam a jigsaw piece where it doesn't fit would you? {/fortune cookie}


I don't think I've ever fit in with any group. I'm odd and more than likely have a social disorder. I barely spoke for most of my high school years, had a rough time in middle school until I was held back a grade before high school, and I don't remember anything from my elementary school days really. I spent most of my time reading and watching movies since the characters in the stories could never hurt you and would gladly accept your company. I was lucky enough to find other weirdo's who were willing to look past each others differences though.

My advice? Don't try to fit in. You wouldn't jam a jigsaw piece where it doesn't fit would you? {/fortune cookie}



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06-21-11 06:44 AM
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Zamiel :

So that's why that piece of the puzzle was broken >

I have to agree with this advice a lot. It's no good trying to be something you aren't.

Zamiel :

So that's why that piece of the puzzle was broken >

I have to agree with this advice a lot. It's no good trying to be something you aren't.

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06-21-11 10:24 AM
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I was not able to find a place to fit in until I had to leave a place where I did not fit in. The place where I did not fit in was, of all places, church. This was not about diferences of beliefs. This was me being bullied because I was being honest.

It all started back when I was in forth grade. I had developed a mild allergy to dairy. I was consuming so much dairy that I would get a runny nose, and had to use soy milk instead --I do not have that problem now. I was invited to a birthday / slumber party by one of my peers in Sunday School. We started the party at Chuck E. Cheese's. I told the birthday boy's parents that I could not have the pizza because of my allergy. So they ordered a separate plate of breadsticks for me. The boys overheard me. And for the next three and a half years I was taunted by them. They would often say "soybeans" and tell me to "Eat your breadsticks."

I forget if I was ever told to simply ignore them, but if I was told to it did not help me. I still tried to fit in, but things slowly got worse. My parents finally felt we needed to find a new church home when I got into a physical confrontation --no one was hurt.

My parents eventually found a new chruch to attend and a social group I hung out with for several years. I have moved on, but I pray that I may one day go back one last time to forgive those who hurt me.

Even today I have some trouble socializing, but it is mostly my problem of starting a conversation. I am good at keeping a conversation going. If anyone here wants to chat is someone, feel free to PM me --if it involves this topic, summon me here. And props to anyone who read this whole message.
I was not able to find a place to fit in until I had to leave a place where I did not fit in. The place where I did not fit in was, of all places, church. This was not about diferences of beliefs. This was me being bullied because I was being honest.

It all started back when I was in forth grade. I had developed a mild allergy to dairy. I was consuming so much dairy that I would get a runny nose, and had to use soy milk instead --I do not have that problem now. I was invited to a birthday / slumber party by one of my peers in Sunday School. We started the party at Chuck E. Cheese's. I told the birthday boy's parents that I could not have the pizza because of my allergy. So they ordered a separate plate of breadsticks for me. The boys overheard me. And for the next three and a half years I was taunted by them. They would often say "soybeans" and tell me to "Eat your breadsticks."

I forget if I was ever told to simply ignore them, but if I was told to it did not help me. I still tried to fit in, but things slowly got worse. My parents finally felt we needed to find a new church home when I got into a physical confrontation --no one was hurt.

My parents eventually found a new chruch to attend and a social group I hung out with for several years. I have moved on, but I pray that I may one day go back one last time to forgive those who hurt me.

Even today I have some trouble socializing, but it is mostly my problem of starting a conversation. I am good at keeping a conversation going. If anyone here wants to chat is someone, feel free to PM me --if it involves this topic, summon me here. And props to anyone who read this whole message.

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(edited by AuraBlaze on 06-21-11 10:24 AM)    

06-21-11 12:46 PM
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I used to not fit in at all. That was until one day I had enough of all this crap kids gave me. So I went ahead after one kid called me more names I stood up and left school. I walked home and I was about eight. Then the next day the kid kept giving me crap, so I was smart and I went and talked to his dad. Who taught him a lesson but that just made this kid more angry. Then during class he did something to make me angry so I stood up. Got on the table and asked if anyone else wanted to call me any names because they were not going to call me anything from that day forward. They didn't after that I have just tried to win over people with my charm and caring ness towards others. I have pretty much lived by this Bible verse. PS someone will find you and like you and you will fit in just don't give up.

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version)
I used to not fit in at all. That was until one day I had enough of all this crap kids gave me. So I went ahead after one kid called me more names I stood up and left school. I walked home and I was about eight. Then the next day the kid kept giving me crap, so I was smart and I went and talked to his dad. Who taught him a lesson but that just made this kid more angry. Then during class he did something to make me angry so I stood up. Got on the table and asked if anyone else wanted to call me any names because they were not going to call me anything from that day forward. They didn't after that I have just tried to win over people with my charm and caring ness towards others. I have pretty much lived by this Bible verse. PS someone will find you and like you and you will fit in just don't give up.

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version)

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07-23-11 07:51 PM
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Don't worry about fitting in with other people. Live for yourself and for your family. I know it seems hard and you just want to fit in with people, but filling in doesn't mean anything at all.
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Don't worry about fitting in with other people. Live for yourself and for your family. I know it seems hard and you just want to fit in with people, but filling in doesn't mean anything at all.

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It's not too hard to fit in with people, all you have to do is find a common ground with that person or people around you and it should be smooth sailing from there.
It's not too hard to fit in with people, all you have to do is find a common ground with that person or people around you and it should be smooth sailing from there.


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03-30-12 12:32 PM
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You Just Need To Talk To People And Be Nice. Making Friends Is Easy, You Just Need To Find The Right People But Don't Be Too Clingy! People Need Personal Space Because If You Don't Let Them Be On Their Own Often They Will Just Find You Tedious And Annoying. Besides, You Have Family Right? You Could Be More Of An Inside Person Because Your Family Will Always Accept You.
You Just Need To Talk To People And Be Nice. Making Friends Is Easy, You Just Need To Find The Right People But Don't Be Too Clingy! People Need Personal Space Because If You Don't Let Them Be On Their Own Often They Will Just Find You Tedious And Annoying. Besides, You Have Family Right? You Could Be More Of An Inside Person Because Your Family Will Always Accept You.

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03-30-12 07:55 PM
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So everyone here who doesn't fit in a certain group is "different?"
Everyone is different, so stop making different look like a bad thing.
If you enjoy playing video games, card games, ect. instead of playing sports, going to parties, and doing other physical social things, it's just who you are.
You aren't a loser, you aren't a nerd, and you're not alone. Just as much as jocks may think I'm a nerd, I think they're an illiterate douche. If people don't like me for some reason, yes, I will try to be their friend and find out why they dislike me, but.. If someone just doesn't like me simply because of who I am, and never plan to get to know me, then they are no longer a part of my life.
I accept anyone to be my friend. My friends range from the weirdo's, the nerds, the losers, the normals, and the populars.
I don't belong to a clique, rather, I'm a loner with people whom I can call friends. I wouldn't change how I am because it makes me free.
Free of caring what people think, free of caring about losing friends, free of drama.

However, I have one person I hold very dear to me. One person I can trust no matter what.

Of course, like I said earlier: "Everyone is different." So you can't be me, nor do I want you to be, and I don't think I'm better than anyone else here.
But, I do love my way of a free lifestyle.
I enjoy video games, card games, and sports. I could easily fit in with any group I wanted to because I accept anyone. If you want friends, don't reject anyone.
So everyone here who doesn't fit in a certain group is "different?"
Everyone is different, so stop making different look like a bad thing.
If you enjoy playing video games, card games, ect. instead of playing sports, going to parties, and doing other physical social things, it's just who you are.
You aren't a loser, you aren't a nerd, and you're not alone. Just as much as jocks may think I'm a nerd, I think they're an illiterate douche. If people don't like me for some reason, yes, I will try to be their friend and find out why they dislike me, but.. If someone just doesn't like me simply because of who I am, and never plan to get to know me, then they are no longer a part of my life.
I accept anyone to be my friend. My friends range from the weirdo's, the nerds, the losers, the normals, and the populars.
I don't belong to a clique, rather, I'm a loner with people whom I can call friends. I wouldn't change how I am because it makes me free.
Free of caring what people think, free of caring about losing friends, free of drama.

However, I have one person I hold very dear to me. One person I can trust no matter what.

Of course, like I said earlier: "Everyone is different." So you can't be me, nor do I want you to be, and I don't think I'm better than anyone else here.
But, I do love my way of a free lifestyle.
I enjoy video games, card games, and sports. I could easily fit in with any group I wanted to because I accept anyone. If you want friends, don't reject anyone.

--------------------
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-19-12
Last Post: 5164 days
Last Active: 3053 days

04-12-12 08:07 PM
jlh is Offline
| ID: 566796 | 32 Words

jlh
Level: 76


POSTS: 282/1405
POST EXP: 68638
LVL EXP: 3837381
CP: 796.3
VIZ: 9720

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Some times I have trouble fitting in with a new group of people. There is all ways someone who doesn't like me. I tend to hide my true feeling towards some people.
Some times I have trouble fitting in with a new group of people. There is all ways someone who doesn't like me. I tend to hide my true feeling towards some people.


coded by pi0x

Perma Banned
Affected by vizz soda


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-23-12
Location: Somewhere in the dirty south.
Last Post: 5068 days
Last Active: 5068 days

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Dove4JS - 12-12-20 05:26 AM
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