Remove Ad, Sign Up
Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Signup for free
for more features
and less ads
About   Users   Help
Users & Guests Online
On Page:
Directory: 13
Entire Site: 19 & 133
Page Staff: EX Palen, SonicOlmstead,
08-21-19 03:09 PM

Forum Links

What would you do?
Your reaction to this hypothetical situation
Related Threads
Coming Soon

Thread Information

Views
1,566
Replies
20
Rating
15
Status
CLOSED
Thread
Creator
RDay13
09-16-16 12:28 PM
Last
Post
Ultrajeff
09-24-16 05:30 AM

Thread Actions

Thread Closed




Add to favorites

Order
Page
 

What would you do?

 

09-16-16 12:28 PM
RDay13 is Offline
Link | ID: 1301860 | 201 Words

RDay13
RDunce
Level: 74


POSTS: 1629/1968
POST EXP: 136549
LVL EXP: 3634340
CP: 9837.7
VIZ: 108069

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
Ok, so let's say that you have a child. The child is 7 years old, when you and your spouse find out that he/she is not your biological child and was mixed up at the hospital. You are offered to "exchange" children with the couple that is parenting your biological child. In this hypothetical situation (hopefully this stays hypothetical for all of us), would you want your "real" son or daughter back? At first glance, this seems like the easy, run-away pick. It's your very own child after all, with you and your spouse's DNA. If you think about it more, however, it's really hard just to give up 7 (or whatever you want the age of the child to be) years of loving your child, even though they were not. You showed the same amount of love and affection for them as you would for your "real" child, because you, in fact, did not think the baby wasn't yours. 

I honestly can't decide in this situation, it's just a really messed up thing. I would rather just not even know that the babies were accidentally switched at birth than to know and cause this whole mess. What would y'all do?
Trusted Member
Leader of the Squirtle Squad


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 11-22-14
Location: Gotem
Last Post: 303 days
Last Active: 3 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jlove92,

Related Content

Content Coming Soon

09-16-16 12:37 PM
supernerd117 is Offline
Link | ID: 1301862 | 64 Words

supernerd117
Level: 134


POSTS: 5815/6185
POST EXP: 404559
LVL EXP: 28527815
CP: 17714.3
VIZ: 11668

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
"I'll give you my Bulbasaur for your Charmander."
"No deal, man! Charmander's better than Bulbasaur."
"But I want a Charmander..."
"All right man, but we trade back next time we meet. And no evolving! I've got to get Charmeleon in my Pokédex."
"Deal!"

They trade.

"Oh, and by the way, I'm moving to Canada, so we'll probably never see each other again. Bye!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
Vizzed Elite
WOOOOOOOO


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-21-10
Location: Location
Last Post: 103 days
Last Active: 50 days

09-16-16 12:43 PM
Spicy is Offline
Link | ID: 1301863 | 89 Words

Spicy
imamonster
Level: 94


POSTS: 3000/3058
POST EXP: 192542
LVL EXP: 8324070
CP: 11807.7
VIZ: 19364

Likes: 2  Dislikes: 0
I wouldn't say this is an easy decision for me but I came to the conclusion pretty quick that I would keep my non-biological child.

Swapping would be a bad decision imo because yes, he's/she's coming back to his/her biological parents, but his/her non-biological parents are the same people he/she has bonded with for 7 years. You're changing his/her life so drastically, it's not worth it. Not even for his/her biological parents, that he/she doesn't even know.

If he was still a baby then my answer would be different.
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-01-13
Last Post: 818 days
Last Active: 504 days

Post Rating: 2   Liked By: Eirinn, RDay13,

09-16-16 12:53 PM
Furret is Offline
Link | ID: 1301864 | 279 Words

Furret
Davideo69
Level: 129


POSTS: 3592/6270
POST EXP: 349020
LVL EXP: 24625174
CP: 35471.0
VIZ: 2585232

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
I mean there's no way that you'd just be allowed to 'swap children' but for the sake of the question let's say you can.
See, I'd be extremely conflicted. Something like this actually came up in chat like two weeks ago and it really had me thinking.

Thing is, I don't think I can raise a child knowing it's not mine. It's just not in me and I wouldn't be able to accept it. I will never adopt a child since I just wouldn't be able to love it the way I should as a father. Might make me sound like a bad person but that's just who I am and what I believe is right or wrong.

In this scenario I would always look at the kid we've been raising differently. Which is something I can't help, but the kid doesn't deserve that. Also, they've known us as their parents for 7 years. They grew up with us, and so did our 'real' child with the other couple. You can't really take that away from them either. 

So either the child stays where they are and I wouldn't be able to look at it as a father or you take away what both children believed to be their parents and take away their entire world pretty much.

Then there's also the idea to not let the children know and forever carry this huge, dark secret on your back. Which is morally the worst out of the three but might also be the best for the kids. It'd get even worse if they ever do find out though.

It's just a horrible situation that I don't wish on anyone.
Global Moderator
Activities Manager; Minecraft Server Admin
#1 Ace Attorney fan


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 11-25-12
Location: Belgium
Last Post: 9 days
Last Active: 2 hours

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: RDay13,

09-16-16 01:00 PM
EX Palen is Online
Link | ID: 1301865 | 146 Words

EX Palen
Spanish Davideo7
Level: 115


POSTS: 3135/4989
POST EXP: 875525
LVL EXP: 16677585
CP: 129377.6
VIZ: 7998306

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
In this situation, it's not up to the parents to decide. I'd rather ask the kid and let him/her decide his/her own future.

Parents can't decide over everything concerning a kid's life and specially its future. In some cases, just like this one, it's better to let the kids know what's going on and let them decide. Probably it's not the best solution, but it's the most fair for everyone involved.

My choice is based on recent events, when many cases of robbed children (snatched away from their families at birth by faking the child's death) have been made public, and with those kids (now adults) wanting to know who their real parents are. This situation is a bit similar, and I would prefer the kid to know it has biological parents elsewhere rather than having it search by itself when it decides to meet them.
Local Moderator
Game Guide Manager, Content Adder
Vizzed #1 Scooter fan


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-03-13
Location: Barcelona
Last Post: 4 days
Last Active: 5 min.

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: RDay13,

09-16-16 01:15 PM
Furret is Offline
Link | ID: 1301866 | 71 Words

Furret
Davideo69
Level: 129


POSTS: 3593/6270
POST EXP: 349020
LVL EXP: 24625174
CP: 35471.0
VIZ: 2585232

Likes: 3  Dislikes: 0
EX Palen :

These kids are 7 though. Can you really let a 7 year old decide their future all by themselves with the little life experience they have?
It's a parent's job to guide a child until they're old enough to decide their own path. I feel like you'd have to wait longer before having them make that decision.

Not attacking your opinion but it just doesn't sound right to me.
Global Moderator
Activities Manager; Minecraft Server Admin
#1 Ace Attorney fan


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 11-25-12
Location: Belgium
Last Post: 9 days
Last Active: 2 hours

Post Rating: 3   Liked By: RDay13, Spicy, Zlinqx,

09-16-16 01:46 PM
Momo Aria is Offline
Link | ID: 1301867 | 108 Words

Momo Aria
AriaAngelDream
xxAriaxx
Level: 83


POSTS: 1922/2359
POST EXP: 165461
LVL EXP: 5409082
CP: 6961.2
VIZ: 63471

Likes: 3  Dislikes: 0
I would let the child decide what to do. If he or she wishes to go to his or her biological parents, I will let him or her see the real parents. Of course, you can't just swap kids in real life. 

Honestly, by my choice, I would just keep the child. It doesn't matter if I didn't give birth to him and her, what matters is I raised that child, so I am the child's parent. At the same time, I want my own child to live a happy, healthy life with his or her parents, as long as they are willing to raise him or her.
Trusted Member
Happy Vocaloid Lover


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-14-13
Location: In the depths of hell and beyond
Last Post: 278 days
Last Active: 264 days

Post Rating: 3   Liked By: Eirinn, no 8120, RDay13,

09-16-16 01:51 PM
Boured is Offline
Link | ID: 1301868 | 71 Words

Boured
18mlivingston
DanceDanceRevolution7
Level: 78


POSTS: 1307/1911
POST EXP: 92251
LVL EXP: 4271878
CP: 8293.6
VIZ: 1550499

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
To be honest I think the child would be happy with the mixed up parents, they grew up with them and got attached to them. So even if he was my son biologically he wouldn't be mentally. I would visit him from time to time but I wouldn't switch off as it would not be very good for the child in my opinion, same with the son I thought was mine.
Local Moderator
Gameplay Recorder
The Guildmaster


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-23-12
Location: My Laptop
Last Post: 2 days
Last Active: 2 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: RDay13,

09-16-16 01:52 PM
EX Palen is Online
Link | ID: 1301869 | 97 Words

EX Palen
Spanish Davideo7
Level: 115


POSTS: 3136/4989
POST EXP: 875525
LVL EXP: 16677585
CP: 129377.6
VIZ: 7998306

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Furret : You can see it either way, but I personally would prefer it that way. I'd like kids to live the life they want, including with whom they want to live.

Maybe it's a bit early, but it's a life decision and it can't be all on the parents' side. If the parents aren't sure of what to do, then what can you lose in asking the kid? Like I said, it's their life and they should have a say about whom they live with, even if they aren't old enough to really pick the right decision.
Local Moderator
Game Guide Manager, Content Adder
Vizzed #1 Scooter fan


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-03-13
Location: Barcelona
Last Post: 4 days
Last Active: 5 min.

09-16-16 03:17 PM
m0ssb3rg935 is Offline
Link | ID: 1301881 | 114 Words

m0ssb3rg935
m0ssb3rg935
Level: 100


POSTS: 1334/3547
POST EXP: 278481
LVL EXP: 10253322
CP: 21177.8
VIZ: 312928

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
For me, biology doesn't factor in. I know at least a few kids that are treated better by their friends' parents than their own and I don't feel any kind of obligation to be loyal to someone for nothing other than blood relation, especially if it's someone who's earned my disrespect many times over. They may not carry your genes, but after 7 years of care and upbringing, they're your child, and I think they would probably feel the same way. If I were to find out that they were switched at birth, I'd tell them because I don't think it would make a huge difference to either of us. That bond is genuine.
Administrator
Social Media Manager; User Manager
Token Clueless Guy to Make Others Look Smarter


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-09-13
Location: Tennessee
Last Post: 2 days
Last Active: 9 hours

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Mynamescox44,

09-16-16 03:32 PM
Nksor is Offline
Link | ID: 1301883 | 124 Words

Nksor
the_casualty
Level: 130


POSTS: 5845/5856
POST EXP: 228223
LVL EXP: 25537869
CP: 1131.8
VIZ: 127948

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
At the age of 7, I would've already grown majorly attached to my non-biological child; at that point, the decision is easy: keep the one I've already raised. That's without even taking into account the feelings of the child, which should, for the most part, be the most major factor in making this decision. By the age of 7, deep attachment from their end to you has already been embedded.

Now, if the child was still an infant, or maybe one or two years old, the decision might be more tough. At the end of the day, barring other external circumstances, there's little to no reason why the kids can't stay in contact with their biological parents, even if they weren't raised by them.
Vizzed Elite
Timecube


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 09-30-10
Location: From:
Last Post: 745 days
Last Active: 47 days

09-16-16 03:36 PM
Zlinqx is Offline
Link | ID: 1301884 | 221 Words

Zlinqx
Zlinqx
Level: 111


POSTS: 3477/4552
POST EXP: 636515
LVL EXP: 14476010
CP: 51516.1
VIZ: 645347

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
EX Palen : The thing is at that young of an age they're probably not going to grasp the gravity of the situation and the impact it'll have. Even if they were to make a decision one way or the other they may likely end up regretting it. I'd tell them, and obviously if they really want to live with one family over the other then they should get a say but to leave the decision entirely on him/her if they don't know, I think would be an unfair burden to put on that child so early in their life making them spend time to think about it.

Anyway I'd likely keep the child. If I spent 7 year raising a child, watching it grow up, I'd consider it my child. I can understand why some people might feel differently though. I'd like to meet my biologically related son/daughter but I wouldn't "trade" for him/her, likely shattering the lives of them both. I'd make sure to have the contact info of those parents because even if the child wouldn't want to live with them they may want to meet them later in life. On the other hand if it was younger to the point where they're too young to notice, say a baby, then I would likely go through with it.
Global Moderator
Forum Manager

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-21-13
Location: Swooden
Last Post: 45 days
Last Active: 25 days

(edited by Zlinqx on 09-16-16 03:37 PM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Spicy,

09-16-16 08:23 PM
Ghostbear1111 is Offline
Link | ID: 1301934 | 189 Words

Ghostbear1111
Level: 59


POSTS: 727/1219
POST EXP: 190564
LVL EXP: 1598601
CP: 6517.3
VIZ: 550582

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
xxAriaxx : I'm with you on letting the kids make a decision. I understand they're seven years old but they're getting put into a tough position. They have biological parents but then they have the people who have raised them the past seven years and those are basically mom and dad.

There's a different between and a father and mother and a mom and a dad.

I don't know how it's possible for that to happen to us. The hospital my wife works at, University of Michigan's Mott Children Hospital, has you stay in the same place as your kid. There is no group of kids crying together in a nursery for mistakes to happen. It's individualized. That's helpful.

If it were to happen, like Aria said, I'd ask the kids and let them make a call. I'm responsible for whoever decides to pick me and let me continue raising them or just getting to know them. I'd probably hope the kid I raised would want me in their life and I'd also hope the kid who's biologically mine would want me in their life in some form or fashion.
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-10-15
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan
Last Post: 492 days
Last Active: 348 days

09-16-16 09:47 PM
LadyAnnie is Offline
Link | ID: 1301945 | 139 Words

LadyAnnie
Level: 3

POSTS: 2/2
POST EXP: 208
LVL EXP: 92
CP: 16.3
VIZ: 2508

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Short answer no. Long answer after seven years both me, hypothetical spouse and the switched at birth child would presumably all be bonded to each other and not only would it be traumatic for me and my spouse it would also be traumatic for the switched at birth and biological child to be swapped to the biological families they (presumably) had never even met before. Also as much as I believe children should have choices in their lives seven is a very young age to make life altering decisions and as a result I would not let either child make the decision on whether or not they should be swapped to their biological family, but I would allow my biological child to meet me and my family as well as a allowing my child to meet his/her biological family.
Newbie

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 09-16-16
Last Post: 1068 days
Last Active: 1041 days

09-17-16 03:06 AM
Eirinn is Offline
Link | ID: 1301972 | 93 Words

Eirinn
Level: 143


POSTS: 6171/7900
POST EXP: 1300417
LVL EXP: 35734414
CP: 69189.0
VIZ: 1825166

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
Gotta agree with imamonster and say it's not really "easy" since the other is your flesh and blood, but the answer came before I even finished the question: no, I would not trade them. This kid may not be your flesh and blood, but he or she is every bit as much your child as they would have been had they been your biological child. It's the sane as with adoption. Someone else made them, but you are their parents and they are your child.

Family is more the bond than the blood.
Vizzed Elite
Review Manager
Eirinn


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-18-12
Last Post: 350 days
Last Active: 350 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Spicy,

09-17-16 04:38 AM
yoshirulez! is Offline
Link | ID: 1301984 | 19 Words

yoshirulez!
Level: 102


POSTS: 1949/3269
POST EXP: 199554
LVL EXP: 11045831
CP: 19452.2
VIZ: 83263

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I'd be too busy listening to linkin park and arguing on the internet about how the 90's were better
Vizzed Elite
Vizzed's #1 Kingdom Hearts Fan


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-27-10
Location: Duwang
Last Post: 46 days
Last Active: 9 days

09-21-16 08:17 AM
sillysoul is Offline
Link | ID: 1302577 | 112 Words

sillysoul
Level: 39


POSTS: 309/416
POST EXP: 37223
LVL EXP: 376311
CP: 968.3
VIZ: 23529

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Such a complicated situation but I know for sure that I wouldn't make the exchange. It doesn't matter that the child is not my own blood but what matters is that I've raised them as my own for seven years. I've seen them learn to talk, learn to walk and I've been there for them for the whole time. My biological child who was raised by other people is a total stranger to me and biology doesn't fix those seven years I was away. I have heard that these kinds of mistakes have been made in the past and I hope that no one has to go through a scenario like this.
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 04-02-14
Location: Finland
Last Post: 862 days
Last Active: 304 days

09-21-16 10:35 PM
Maguc is Offline
Link | ID: 1302659 | 91 Words

Maguc
maguc
Maguc
Level: 84


POSTS: 1994/2101
POST EXP: 130906
LVL EXP: 5575629
CP: 5448.2
VIZ: 22682

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Yeah, I really wouldn't change my kid. I mean, sure the other kid is my "real" son, but I have no real connection with him.
Let's look at it from a different angle. You have a step-dad who you called dad for 16 years. Then your "real" dad comes and you have to choose between them; It's obvious you'll choose you're step-dad, as he's been more of a dad than your "real" dad. It's a metaphor, I'll choose my non-biological son since I have a better relationship than my "real" son.
Site Staff
Content Adder
Im Back


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-17-10
Last Post: 200 days
Last Active: 172 days

09-22-16 10:19 AM
jlove92 is Offline
Link | ID: 1302707 | 577 Words

jlove92
Level: 51


POSTS: 594/878
POST EXP: 89923
LVL EXP: 974124
CP: 6050.6
VIZ: 331717

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Well I had my answer but, after reading some replies  here, I am quite torn. Seven years is a long time. This child has been raised by people that could just be anything and I for one would feel like my biological child will take after those people- what if he/she was raised in a really bad  home? How can I after seven years, teach this child the difference between good and bad? Why would he/she listen or love me when I am a total stranger and his attachment is with the other couple. On the other hand, it is my biological child and I want to make sure he/she has a good home and the best care possible and I would feel that I am the only option for that because I know who I am and no matter how that other couple present themselves, they could be completely different at home so, I will always wonder if my biological child ate, went to school, or was mistreated even more now that they know it is not their biological child. This part is just thinking about blood, the need to have what "belongs" to you.

But, as humans, most of us should have emotions. I mean you raise a child as your own for seven years: first steps, first words, watch it grow all those years and grow to love him/her. I don't know that I could let him/her go because it feels just as much of my child as my biological and just like that I would too wonder how life is treating him/her and what kind of place they call home and what kind of people they now call family. 

I don't know what I would do. I'd always worry for one and the other. Ideally, I'd keep both and raised them as brothers/sisters and offer the same unconditional love. But, in the case that I have to choose, I would pick my biological child because I have given my love and discipline to this other child and I would hope that after seven years he/she is able to hold on to some of that and grow up to be a good person. Whereas for my biological child, I don't know how he/she was raised and I would like to offer my love and try to provide and guide him/her to have a better future. But, would try hard to keep in touch with my other child, because to me he/she would always be mine and would always have a place in my heart and my house specially once old enough to make his/her own decisions.

I know that the other child may feel a sense of abandonment from my end and may feel very different about if I truly love him/her and if I did how could I let go? And my biological child would feel a disconnection, lack of love at first and would not be able to love me until time has passed and I've done all I can to win that love- sometimes you get it and sometimes you don't. So, either way, both children would feel hurt, lost, confused, and abandoned to a certain point- I would just hope that the other couple is good, loving, and we could all keep together for the sake of the children and instead of feeling like they lost their parents, they can feel like they gained two more parents and a brother/sister.
Trusted Member
Queen of Hearts


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-19-15
Location: Florida
Last Post: 174 days
Last Active: 10 days

(edited by jlove92 on 09-22-16 10:22 AM)    

09-24-16 05:17 AM
DoctorDB is Offline
Link | ID: 1302969 | 157 Words

DoctorDB
danielbelitch
Level: 52

POSTS: 603/679
POST EXP: 68639
LVL EXP: 1038744
CP: 4629.1
VIZ: 269642

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Well, my first instinct was to see if there was a way to keep the child AND get the biological kid back as well. However, that just wouldn't be fair to that kid to take them away from the only home they've ever known. I mean if the other parents are abusive or something then it would be right to take the kid back (and probably even legal if that were the case).

But barring being able to insert favorable situations into this, I suppose my final answer would be to keep the kids where they are, but definitely form a relationship with those other parents. I can't imagine them not wanting to do the same. We could all talk to each other about how mature the kids have become/ when we think a good time to tell them would be. Eventually the ideal scenario would be for all of us to be like an extended family.
Trusted Member
The Bad Wolf


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-14-10
Last Post: 89 days
Last Active: 23 hours

(edited by danielbelitch on 09-24-16 05:19 AM)    

Links



  
  
   Next Page >
   Last Page >>