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Should children be discipline physically?

 

03-15-16 02:43 AM
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I remember when I was a child and whenever I did something bad, my parents often beated me. Come to think of it, if it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't be the respectable person I am today. But now I'm wondering if physical discipline is really necessary for children. It seems to help. Or at least, in my case. How 'bout y'all?
I remember when I was a child and whenever I did something bad, my parents often beated me. Come to think of it, if it wasn't for that, I probably wouldn't be the respectable person I am today. But now I'm wondering if physical discipline is really necessary for children. It seems to help. Or at least, in my case. How 'bout y'all?
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(edited by Final Weapon on 03-15-16 02:45 AM)    

03-15-16 04:01 AM
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Final Weapon :    My parents did not actually thrash me around very often. It certainly was not a routine punishment if that is in question. There were numerous memorable occasions when I felt I had been hurt. Still, I walked to school every day with never a single bruise caused by my parents. Somehow I turned into a fine human being despite escaping much of the punishment I would have been entitled to.

The media gets in an uproar every time they get news to report about an authority figure [parent, cop, teacher] harming people they are responsible for protecting or aiding. The truth is that is only such big news because it rarely happens to anybody. "But we see it in the news all the time!" That doesn't mean it happens to all of us all the time. You are more likely and usually more often hurt by people who are not authority figures than people that are. A cop shoots and kills or beat or tasers someone. That's a nothing statistic compared to how often Americans maim, assault or murder each other when police are not present. Better that they're there.

My siblings made me a target far more often than my parents ever did. My parents held no grudges. My sister and brothers held a violent animosity towards me that I could always sense below the surface even when they thought better of lashing out. We're better now but a lot of the whacks I took from mom and dad were the result of a rough quarrel that had to be settled between me and my siblings. They called my number on that most often because I'm a boy unlike my sister and I'm older than my brothers. My older, larger sister would idly use her long legs to throw kicks at me that would be very deadly if she wore her figure skates. One day when I was nine, she tried that when our parents weren't home. I brought her to the ground and punched her in the face many times. No bruises. I had always been a little undersized and weak and I didn't jab with merciless fury. She cried. That didn't seem genuine but she agreed to a truce after her tear-less cry. It turned out the games were still afoot when our parents were home and she could get me an earned spanking.

A kid is always vastly more likely to be abused by a classmate than a teacher. Classmates can also gang up on you which teachers would not do. Teachers can be great allies. Some kids think they'll have an extra benefit among their classmates if they are a teacher's pet but really a teacher should be there for any their students if they fall into trouble at school.

Unknown, buddy, you can say that all these influences outside yourself shaped who you are. Sure. You can accept that as if it's the truth. Wouldn't you rather get to choose who you get to be? Wouldn't accepting that your past determines your future leave you with no power to change anything in the present? Think about that Unknown.

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Final Weapon :    My parents did not actually thrash me around very often. It certainly was not a routine punishment if that is in question. There were numerous memorable occasions when I felt I had been hurt. Still, I walked to school every day with never a single bruise caused by my parents. Somehow I turned into a fine human being despite escaping much of the punishment I would have been entitled to.

The media gets in an uproar every time they get news to report about an authority figure [parent, cop, teacher] harming people they are responsible for protecting or aiding. The truth is that is only such big news because it rarely happens to anybody. "But we see it in the news all the time!" That doesn't mean it happens to all of us all the time. You are more likely and usually more often hurt by people who are not authority figures than people that are. A cop shoots and kills or beat or tasers someone. That's a nothing statistic compared to how often Americans maim, assault or murder each other when police are not present. Better that they're there.

My siblings made me a target far more often than my parents ever did. My parents held no grudges. My sister and brothers held a violent animosity towards me that I could always sense below the surface even when they thought better of lashing out. We're better now but a lot of the whacks I took from mom and dad were the result of a rough quarrel that had to be settled between me and my siblings. They called my number on that most often because I'm a boy unlike my sister and I'm older than my brothers. My older, larger sister would idly use her long legs to throw kicks at me that would be very deadly if she wore her figure skates. One day when I was nine, she tried that when our parents weren't home. I brought her to the ground and punched her in the face many times. No bruises. I had always been a little undersized and weak and I didn't jab with merciless fury. She cried. That didn't seem genuine but she agreed to a truce after her tear-less cry. It turned out the games were still afoot when our parents were home and she could get me an earned spanking.

A kid is always vastly more likely to be abused by a classmate than a teacher. Classmates can also gang up on you which teachers would not do. Teachers can be great allies. Some kids think they'll have an extra benefit among their classmates if they are a teacher's pet but really a teacher should be there for any their students if they fall into trouble at school.

Unknown, buddy, you can say that all these influences outside yourself shaped who you are. Sure. You can accept that as if it's the truth. Wouldn't you rather get to choose who you get to be? Wouldn't accepting that your past determines your future leave you with no power to change anything in the present? Think about that Unknown.

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03-15-16 08:37 AM
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I think it should be used as a last resort. I think other measures should be taken first before using spanking or etc. However, if you've used all other measures without any results, then I have to go with yes. 

There's a saying I've heard which still rings true in my mind - if you don't discipline your children, a police offer (or corrections officer) will.
I think it should be used as a last resort. I think other measures should be taken first before using spanking or etc. However, if you've used all other measures without any results, then I have to go with yes. 

There's a saying I've heard which still rings true in my mind - if you don't discipline your children, a police offer (or corrections officer) will.
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03-15-16 10:20 AM
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I really think that you can get through to most kids by actually communicating with them as a normal human being. I've never had to hit my kids, but I did let them know if they did something wrong and called them on it. Seemed to work out just fine, but what works for some kids, not might work on others.

Really though, I feel like the best tool when parenting is to stay consistent with your message, punishments, etc. OPENLY COMMUNICATE with them, and please let them know if they've done wrong.
I really think that you can get through to most kids by actually communicating with them as a normal human being. I've never had to hit my kids, but I did let them know if they did something wrong and called them on it. Seemed to work out just fine, but what works for some kids, not might work on others.

Really though, I feel like the best tool when parenting is to stay consistent with your message, punishments, etc. OPENLY COMMUNICATE with them, and please let them know if they've done wrong.
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03-15-16 10:56 AM
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I think it depends a lot on the age of the child. You can't communicate with certain ages of children very well and physical punishments are sometimes the only thing that gets through.

However, I don't think it should be used regularly but I dislike the "last resort" idea. If you are at the end of your rope dealing with a kid then physical discipline should not be the last thing you choose because at that point you might not have any patience left. I've been there and more often than not you end up spanking the kid harder than they deserved.

I honestly don't think a swat on the butt has long term harmful effects on kids. More severe physical punishments can for sure but not the occasional swat.

Also, not every kid responds to discipline the same way. Some kids will change behavior if they think they are going to lose their favorite toy or time doing their favorite thing while others don't care about that at all. You have to change how each child is disciplined based on what works best on them.
I think it depends a lot on the age of the child. You can't communicate with certain ages of children very well and physical punishments are sometimes the only thing that gets through.

However, I don't think it should be used regularly but I dislike the "last resort" idea. If you are at the end of your rope dealing with a kid then physical discipline should not be the last thing you choose because at that point you might not have any patience left. I've been there and more often than not you end up spanking the kid harder than they deserved.

I honestly don't think a swat on the butt has long term harmful effects on kids. More severe physical punishments can for sure but not the occasional swat.

Also, not every kid responds to discipline the same way. Some kids will change behavior if they think they are going to lose their favorite toy or time doing their favorite thing while others don't care about that at all. You have to change how each child is disciplined based on what works best on them.
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03-15-16 11:10 AM
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As the times have changed, so has what's accepted...to a degree.  A long time ago, spanking a children was a routine way to let them know you're in charge if something goes wrong, and that bad choices lead to bad consequences.  These days, it is viewed by many as abuse.  Of course, beating a child is not acceptable.  After all, a true punishment is meant to relay a positive message, not to destroy trust and instill fear.  If a punishment is meted out without the corresponding message, then it is abuse, not a true punishment.  There is definitely such a thing as going too far.  This can be difficult to judge at times.  But there are laws and boundaries that can help guide us along.  Our past can determine our future.  That is why we need to make our past as good a thing as possible.  The choices we make in the past may not define who we are, but they can scar us or help us along.  Parents and role models need to set a positive example that we can look back to, that can help us make a better future.  That is why physical discipline is not advised unless necessary.  To the right person, it will convey the message that bad choices lead to bad consequences.  The pain will lead to a memory that might instill a positive message that can last a lifetime.  To the wrong person, it will convey the message that it means they aren't loved.  I fell into the latter category.  Spanking may have lead to me stopping certain behaviors temporarily, but I hated it, even though it rarely happened.  I didn't come away with a resolve not to do those things because I loved my parents, but because I feared them.  I always got a hug afterwards, but nevertheless, it was never enough, because I was prone to depression.
As the times have changed, so has what's accepted...to a degree.  A long time ago, spanking a children was a routine way to let them know you're in charge if something goes wrong, and that bad choices lead to bad consequences.  These days, it is viewed by many as abuse.  Of course, beating a child is not acceptable.  After all, a true punishment is meant to relay a positive message, not to destroy trust and instill fear.  If a punishment is meted out without the corresponding message, then it is abuse, not a true punishment.  There is definitely such a thing as going too far.  This can be difficult to judge at times.  But there are laws and boundaries that can help guide us along.  Our past can determine our future.  That is why we need to make our past as good a thing as possible.  The choices we make in the past may not define who we are, but they can scar us or help us along.  Parents and role models need to set a positive example that we can look back to, that can help us make a better future.  That is why physical discipline is not advised unless necessary.  To the right person, it will convey the message that bad choices lead to bad consequences.  The pain will lead to a memory that might instill a positive message that can last a lifetime.  To the wrong person, it will convey the message that it means they aren't loved.  I fell into the latter category.  Spanking may have lead to me stopping certain behaviors temporarily, but I hated it, even though it rarely happened.  I didn't come away with a resolve not to do those things because I loved my parents, but because I feared them.  I always got a hug afterwards, but nevertheless, it was never enough, because I was prone to depression.
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(edited by supernerd117 on 03-15-16 11:11 AM)    

03-15-16 11:35 AM
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supernerd117 : This was a very well written post, and I commend you for writing it and I couldn't agree more.

Just because something "worked in the past" or it's "The way things have been done" doesn't mean that it's the RIGHT thing to do, or the best way to get the intended results. Times change, people change.

Now if you feel like you need to give your kid a little swat to knock things off, thats your choice and I'm not going to fault you for it and honestly very few of us are going to come together and agree here.

Age really can be a factor too. If you are talking about a teenager just going crazy and getting out of hand. Who knows how anyone would react. But small kids? I can't see eye to eye with that.

I just found that kids respond better to setting a GOOD EXAMPLE and leading by example and reasoning than they do of threat to violence if they do wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. How you respond to them is what really makes or break you. We also must realize, that sometimes no matter WHAT You do, your kids are going to make mistakes, but we must help them LEARN from them in a positive manner.
supernerd117 : This was a very well written post, and I commend you for writing it and I couldn't agree more.

Just because something "worked in the past" or it's "The way things have been done" doesn't mean that it's the RIGHT thing to do, or the best way to get the intended results. Times change, people change.

Now if you feel like you need to give your kid a little swat to knock things off, thats your choice and I'm not going to fault you for it and honestly very few of us are going to come together and agree here.

Age really can be a factor too. If you are talking about a teenager just going crazy and getting out of hand. Who knows how anyone would react. But small kids? I can't see eye to eye with that.

I just found that kids respond better to setting a GOOD EXAMPLE and leading by example and reasoning than they do of threat to violence if they do wrong. Everyone makes mistakes. How you respond to them is what really makes or break you. We also must realize, that sometimes no matter WHAT You do, your kids are going to make mistakes, but we must help them LEARN from them in a positive manner.
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03-15-16 11:58 AM
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I remember when my brother and I where growing up and we did something that was wrong our old man would whip us with a thick belt he still has to this day. It wasn't a simple pop,. My brother would cry even before getting hit, so he just got three whacks, as for me, I got hit until I cried which was maybe 4 or 5 hits. Because of that I wouldn't be as respectful as I am today.

As for this day and age, as times have changed and are continuing to do so, I'd have to say parent need to really decide on their choice of discipline, and if they decide on whipping their kids then 4 smacks at the most should suffice.
I remember when my brother and I where growing up and we did something that was wrong our old man would whip us with a thick belt he still has to this day. It wasn't a simple pop,. My brother would cry even before getting hit, so he just got three whacks, as for me, I got hit until I cried which was maybe 4 or 5 hits. Because of that I wouldn't be as respectful as I am today.

As for this day and age, as times have changed and are continuing to do so, I'd have to say parent need to really decide on their choice of discipline, and if they decide on whipping their kids then 4 smacks at the most should suffice.
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03-15-16 12:41 PM
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I've personally been beaten by my parents, specifically my step dad whenever I did something bad worthy of it. At the time I feared that, though I now realize that it is very effective in getting it though a young child's thick skull. It may have been painful to be hit multiple times and yelled at, but it was all so I could grow to be a good person and I thank my step dad for that. So yeah, children should be disciplined physically if such punishment is necessary.
I've personally been beaten by my parents, specifically my step dad whenever I did something bad worthy of it. At the time I feared that, though I now realize that it is very effective in getting it though a young child's thick skull. It may have been painful to be hit multiple times and yelled at, but it was all so I could grow to be a good person and I thank my step dad for that. So yeah, children should be disciplined physically if such punishment is necessary.
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I think it depends on the child. If a child has a mental illness then spanking is probably not going to work because they may not understand. Some children respond well to punishment such as taking the computer or video game system away. But sometimes a child needs a good swat. There is a difference between a spanking and abuse. Abuse would be spanking the child till he or she bleeds that is abuse. I only got spanked twice that I remember. One time, I got a hickory because when I was little a ran off and went to a different place. When confronted I lied. My mom already knew so I got a hickory just one swat. I didn't do that again. I didn't bleed or anything. Other times I got grounded.  

So many times in stores I see children who are out of control. They cuss even cuss to their parents, run around the stores and even damaging products. I think that type of Child might need a swat or punishment. Sadly, these are the type of children who later get into trouble with the law later on. 
I think it depends on the child. If a child has a mental illness then spanking is probably not going to work because they may not understand. Some children respond well to punishment such as taking the computer or video game system away. But sometimes a child needs a good swat. There is a difference between a spanking and abuse. Abuse would be spanking the child till he or she bleeds that is abuse. I only got spanked twice that I remember. One time, I got a hickory because when I was little a ran off and went to a different place. When confronted I lied. My mom already knew so I got a hickory just one swat. I didn't do that again. I didn't bleed or anything. Other times I got grounded.  

So many times in stores I see children who are out of control. They cuss even cuss to their parents, run around the stores and even damaging products. I think that type of Child might need a swat or punishment. Sadly, these are the type of children who later get into trouble with the law later on. 
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03-15-16 01:44 PM
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My parents used to hit me sometimes. It never worked and I never understood why I was getting into trouble so I would do it again to annoy my parents.
My parents used to hit me sometimes. It never worked and I never understood why I was getting into trouble so I would do it again to annoy my parents.
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Yes. How should we punish children? Emotionally? They'll grow up thinking their parents don't love them. Mentally? When they're old enough to understand. In the beginning, children aren't going to make sense out of "I should obey my parents" without pleasure and pain stimulus.
Yes. How should we punish children? Emotionally? They'll grow up thinking their parents don't love them. Mentally? When they're old enough to understand. In the beginning, children aren't going to make sense out of "I should obey my parents" without pleasure and pain stimulus.
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Now, while I am a keen supporter of physical punishment, I do not support beating your child half to death like Mr. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. There really is no argument, or at least a legitimate one, against physical punishment though, and the way alot of kids who weren't physically punished turn out, it should certainly be more widely used.
Now, while I am a keen supporter of physical punishment, I do not support beating your child half to death like Mr. Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. There really is no argument, or at least a legitimate one, against physical punishment though, and the way alot of kids who weren't physically punished turn out, it should certainly be more widely used.
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03-16-16 03:25 AM
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It should be a final resort if the child is extremely uncooperative and continues to misbehave or even get violent, and even then, the physical punishment should be minor, not severe enough to visibly injure. Otherwise, you should reason with the child and use restrictions like taking away their games/tv privilege for a while, take away their favorite entertainment until they behave.

Psychological abuse (refusing to let them socialize at all, killing/giving away their pets, outright destroying their property, trying to get them fired/dumped/alienated when older, etc) is just about as bad as physical abuse and WILL make them thoroughly hate and mistrust you for a large part of their life. Trust me. It only "works" because they want to stop you from doing this horrible stuff to them. If they're smart, once they're old enough to leave, that will be the last you'll ever hear from them, unless it's about how much they hate you. If you've managed to brainwash them into thinking this is okay to do to them, you don't deserve children or respect in any form.

Speaking from personal experience, unfortunately. My parents have... gained more sense since then, but I still find it hard to trust them. Before you assume I was a horrible child, the majority of my 'misbehavior' revolved around repeatedly forgetting chores. Even though I have memory problems to begin with due to chronic acute migraines that I had to suffer for a good 12 years before I finally could get it diagnosed. Fun!

I've moved out, I'm on medicine for that, I got help, and my health has improved, so I'm much happier and better now though.
It should be a final resort if the child is extremely uncooperative and continues to misbehave or even get violent, and even then, the physical punishment should be minor, not severe enough to visibly injure. Otherwise, you should reason with the child and use restrictions like taking away their games/tv privilege for a while, take away their favorite entertainment until they behave.

Psychological abuse (refusing to let them socialize at all, killing/giving away their pets, outright destroying their property, trying to get them fired/dumped/alienated when older, etc) is just about as bad as physical abuse and WILL make them thoroughly hate and mistrust you for a large part of their life. Trust me. It only "works" because they want to stop you from doing this horrible stuff to them. If they're smart, once they're old enough to leave, that will be the last you'll ever hear from them, unless it's about how much they hate you. If you've managed to brainwash them into thinking this is okay to do to them, you don't deserve children or respect in any form.

Speaking from personal experience, unfortunately. My parents have... gained more sense since then, but I still find it hard to trust them. Before you assume I was a horrible child, the majority of my 'misbehavior' revolved around repeatedly forgetting chores. Even though I have memory problems to begin with due to chronic acute migraines that I had to suffer for a good 12 years before I finally could get it diagnosed. Fun!

I've moved out, I'm on medicine for that, I got help, and my health has improved, so I'm much happier and better now though.
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03-16-16 01:54 PM
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Yes, I think there are times when kids should be disciplined physically. I've experienced a lot of cases where a lot of children don't have any respect for anything or anybody. It seems like it is getting even worse because the parents just let their kids act this way. Just about anytime I walk down the street, go to the grocery store, or even try to go anywhere there will be some child that has to say something smart or cause trouble. Whenever children pick fights with other kids, act disrespectful to teachers or adults, go up to strangers and talk to them, destroy other people's property intentionally, they should be spanked or disciplined physically.

However, there are times when parents need to communicate with their kids. If a child is failing in school, not getting along with other students/teachers, they need to find out what's going on instead of just using physical punishment. Parents might want to ground their kids in some of these less serious cases if the kid is at fault. Although, parents need to be involved in their child's life and help them if they are having trouble if it isn't. They also need to let their kids know they can talk to them if they are having problems.

Not all children cause issues for other people, but when they do parents should be allowed to use harsher methods of punishment such as spanking.  

Yes, I think there are times when kids should be disciplined physically. I've experienced a lot of cases where a lot of children don't have any respect for anything or anybody. It seems like it is getting even worse because the parents just let their kids act this way. Just about anytime I walk down the street, go to the grocery store, or even try to go anywhere there will be some child that has to say something smart or cause trouble. Whenever children pick fights with other kids, act disrespectful to teachers or adults, go up to strangers and talk to them, destroy other people's property intentionally, they should be spanked or disciplined physically.

However, there are times when parents need to communicate with their kids. If a child is failing in school, not getting along with other students/teachers, they need to find out what's going on instead of just using physical punishment. Parents might want to ground their kids in some of these less serious cases if the kid is at fault. Although, parents need to be involved in their child's life and help them if they are having trouble if it isn't. They also need to let their kids know they can talk to them if they are having problems.

Not all children cause issues for other people, but when they do parents should be allowed to use harsher methods of punishment such as spanking.  

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03-23-16 05:11 PM
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Parents should be allowed to use corporal punishment within reason. I am not saying beat the dogs--t out of the child when he says something wrong,or throws a tantrum. But the whole "use your words and remove privileges" method will only go so far.

Now when I was a child the main punishments were groundings,taking away something or a forced 3 hour talk with my parents. I would rather have taken a beating than the last one. I think I turned out half-decent,I might be a better person if I was beaten once in a while. Trust me,the kid is only going to plot and use things against you if you do not instill a little fear in them. A little fear is healthy,it protects you. Like if you touch a hot pan,you learn to be careful around hot pans in the kitchen.
Parents should be allowed to use corporal punishment within reason. I am not saying beat the dogs--t out of the child when he says something wrong,or throws a tantrum. But the whole "use your words and remove privileges" method will only go so far.

Now when I was a child the main punishments were groundings,taking away something or a forced 3 hour talk with my parents. I would rather have taken a beating than the last one. I think I turned out half-decent,I might be a better person if I was beaten once in a while. Trust me,the kid is only going to plot and use things against you if you do not instill a little fear in them. A little fear is healthy,it protects you. Like if you touch a hot pan,you learn to be careful around hot pans in the kitchen.
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I don't think so. There are plenty of better ways to punish a child than putting your hands on them. From the studies I've seen, it tended to be more effective to punish kids with a time out or other alternative punishments rather than spanking or hitting them. Besides I believe it sends the wrong message on a psychological level. "Someone does something wrong, so you should hit them" kind of thing.
I don't think so. There are plenty of better ways to punish a child than putting your hands on them. From the studies I've seen, it tended to be more effective to punish kids with a time out or other alternative punishments rather than spanking or hitting them. Besides I believe it sends the wrong message on a psychological level. "Someone does something wrong, so you should hit them" kind of thing.
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I think that everything can be solved in a different way, such as actually communicating to the child just what they did wrong. Things like being grounded are also better alternates to actually hitting your kids. However some kids just do not learn, even with being punished with a loss of privileges they continue to act out. I think in those cases it is alright to spank them. However only on their behind and only once or twice. Once it's anywhere else and with an object, such as a paddle or a belt, then I think it's child abuse.
I think that everything can be solved in a different way, such as actually communicating to the child just what they did wrong. Things like being grounded are also better alternates to actually hitting your kids. However some kids just do not learn, even with being punished with a loss of privileges they continue to act out. I think in those cases it is alright to spank them. However only on their behind and only once or twice. Once it's anywhere else and with an object, such as a paddle or a belt, then I think it's child abuse.
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I would like to point out people are throwing out beaten a lot, when I was a snot nosed chap I was spanked I was never beaten. Let me tell you how my Uncle was disciplined, my grandfather would take him to the local boxing gym and BEAT THE s*** out of him, black and blue, never to the point of (actual) harm but put the fear of having another match against my paps into 'em. My grandfather boxed in the Navy I believe he held the little 'championship' they had.
I would like to point out people are throwing out beaten a lot, when I was a snot nosed chap I was spanked I was never beaten. Let me tell you how my Uncle was disciplined, my grandfather would take him to the local boxing gym and BEAT THE s*** out of him, black and blue, never to the point of (actual) harm but put the fear of having another match against my paps into 'em. My grandfather boxed in the Navy I believe he held the little 'championship' they had.
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While the threat of pain may be effective in keeping a child from doing something the parent doesn't like, I don't believe it does anything in the way of helping them understand why something is wrong or inacceptable. It's almost tragic how many people forget what it was like to be a little kid. As early as I was making complete sentences, I wanted for nothing more than understanding. I wanted to debate and have my observations, at the very least, seriously considered. And if my ideas were flawed or naive, I only wanted an explanation. To be a parent is more than throwing money at them or ignoring them and letting them run wild with no guidance or ruling over them with an iron fist. If you want to never have to punish your child, help them understand right from wrong, lead by example and talk to them like a person and not a pet.
While the threat of pain may be effective in keeping a child from doing something the parent doesn't like, I don't believe it does anything in the way of helping them understand why something is wrong or inacceptable. It's almost tragic how many people forget what it was like to be a little kid. As early as I was making complete sentences, I wanted for nothing more than understanding. I wanted to debate and have my observations, at the very least, seriously considered. And if my ideas were flawed or naive, I only wanted an explanation. To be a parent is more than throwing money at them or ignoring them and letting them run wild with no guidance or ruling over them with an iron fist. If you want to never have to punish your child, help them understand right from wrong, lead by example and talk to them like a person and not a pet.
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