If I had a nickel for every time I committed to more than I should at once and had to run my tail off trying to keep up with it (and failed), I would have at least ten cents.

If I had a nickel for every time somebody was rude to me I'd be rich.

If I had a nickel for every time the games I have downloaded to my phone gave me notifications that I don't want or care about, I'd have quite a few nickels.

If I had a nickel for every time something pissed me off while driving or watching the news,I could buy Donald Trump out of the race.

If I had a nickel for every time I fell asleep and woke up, I'd be rich!

If I had a nickel for every time my brother said, "What?" I'd have to buy a whole house to hold all that dough.

PacmanandMariofan : Wait, if you had a nickel for every time that happened, you'd have a lot of food?

zanderlex : If I had a nickel for every time people thought I was talking about food instead of money when I said dough, I'd be rich.

I just had to

If I had a nickel for every time I doubted myself, I'd probably still doubt my ability to get lots of nickels

PacmanandMariofan : If I had a nickel for every time someone was actually talking about money instead of food, I'd only have 1 nickel.

zanderlex : If I had a nickel for every time someone said "dough" and I instantly want donuts, I'd have spent all my nickels on those doughnuts.

If I had a nickel for every time I said the word "potato", I'd be probably $50 richer.

if i had a nickle every time someone crap posts to win the tdv and whines and gets them disqualified when someone else does, i'd be set for life.

if i had a nickel for every time a "radical" feminist claimed feminism is still about gender equality, i'd probably be QUITE rich.

If I had a nickel for every time I have played a horror game while not knowing it's a horror game and got spooked, I'd have exactly 5 nickels. I can't remember the names of the games, but now I do my research on games I'm about to play.

If I had a nickel for every time I snorted heroin, I would have enough money to put every addict in the world through 5 star rehab...

zanderlex :   Really? Who strapped a bomb to your nuts and made you do post-midnight posts?

IgorBird122 : You HAD a nickel every time you had a nickel. How come you weren't rich?

Eirinn : You would have 943.85 if you got paid a nickel every time zanderlex posted. Does that make you enormously rich?

Oldschool777 : If you got paid a nickel every time someone did something stupid on planet Earth for a mere year, you'd be the richest man of all time. Pharaohs, Gates and the untold fortune of the Count of Monte Cristo would have nothing on you.

FunnyFurret : If you got paid a nickel for every time someone spelled something wrong on the Internet because they genuinely didn't know how to spell it but they didn't take the time to use trial and error to get rid of that red squiggle line, you would be a trillionaire. If it was a nickel just for things that were simply typos, you'd still have trillions but much less of them.

If I got paid a nickel for every time I searched Google in my life, I'd be a millionaire by the time I turn 50.

A nickel is about what Google is compensated every time a person uses the greatest search engine of all time. No wonder they have billions of dollars in revenue.

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Postman3 : nah, most of google's money comes from ad revenue, aka annoying the crap out of everyone on the planet that uses the internet, iirc.

treos : Ad revenue is what I'm talking about. You think people are going to pay for an ad from a site that nobody uses. Every time Google gets used the corporation gets richer. All they have to do is pull out their stats and businesses want ads with them.

If I got paid a nickel for every time someone corrected me, I'd have been a very rich child. Now that I'm an adult most of the corrections people add to what I say are false corrections. If I got paid a nickel for every one of those false corrections I've suffered in adulthood, I'd have a few hundred extra dollars added to my fortune.

Still, if I got paid a nickel for every time some idiot interrupted me while I was speaking, I'd be quite wealthy off of their rudeness towards me.

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If I had a nickel for every time I saw zanderlex, well, I would certainly have a lot of chewing gum.