So I've been thinking about this for a while... If you're in a situation with a girl (or boy, if you're a girl), where they're coming onto you, is it rude to ask if they have an STD? Is it a turnoff? Is it even okay to ask this? As a secondary question, is it rude to ask for proof?

Super Mega Man 568 : Well I can't speak from experience, but I can say it's not even an issue unless you're specifically talking about THAT moment. Someone just coming on to you sounds more like they're just hitting on you or you're about kiss or something. I don't see sexual interactions happening as a spur of the moment kind of deal unless you're already in an intimate relationship with this person, in which case it might be a bit awkward but would be reasonable to inquire such things about your partner.

And if you are in a committed relationship and the person does have an STD, I'd say it'd be more rude of them not to tell you if they planned on making a 'move.' Would it be hard to confess something like that? Absolutely, but if you're aware of something like that it's important to be responsible. 

If we did want to talk about random sexual encounters, then I can't imagine it doing wonders for the 'mood', but it's still better to know these things if you're uncertain and concerned. Rude or otherwise, a question like that shouldn't be the ruination of a relationship, even if it does kill the chance of the moment. But again this is all theoretical talk coming from me. Don't be afraid to use your own judgement for the moment. 

In My opinion it would be a bit rude... to ask that question. For Starters if Your Partner had an STD and they didn't tell you, obviously they don't care at all about you. This is just my opinion though.

Depends. If you just started talking to someone then, it is a bit rude. Once the relationship progresses and you both are interested in moving further then, absolutely ask that question. If someone feels offended or refuses to answer your question then, in my case that's it. Some are infections which can be so hard to tell if you have them so, I would first ask when was the last time you went and got checked and what did you get checked for? You can never be too safe when it comes to your life period and that definitely includes any sexual activity. I know most people are too shy to admit to such but, it should be easier when you have already connected with someone in a deeper level and have built trust. But, regardless of who it is and what he/she means to you, when it comes down to it make sure to ask and of course seek proof if you feel the person is a bit sketchy at which point why would you even want to go any further. Safety first

Is it rude? Maybe.

It is a good question to ask - definitely. However, if the other person is a virgin then you don't likely NEED to ask the question (although, being a virgin and having an STD aren't mutually exclusive).

Still, I would wait to ask until the relationship got more serious and even then I would be wary of asking. Asking someone if they have an STD is probably going to be taken like you are asking if they are s***ty. It may get the wrong reaction. A safe way to go about it is to go get tested together (if you either aren't sure about how to ask or don't believe them). That way either of you could get a positive result and then it's not just about you being scared of catching something from them but also about protecting them from something you might have.

I think that when you are at that point in your relationship where intamacy is an important part and it bothers you enough, yes. You should. I would even say mention it prior to even becoming emotionally involved. I also think the person who has STDs (such as AIDS or other very serious ones) should mention it. It's something serious. This isn't like asking a weight number. This is something that is detrimental to another human's health and possibly life. 



Every person I have been with has usually been up front with me in the beginning about not having anything wrong with them. And a youtuber called Sarah Rae Vargas did half a vlog about how there's nothing wrong with it, which you can check out here.

Edit: Tried having the video come up on this post so you wouldn't redirect, but it wouldn't work. Whoops ^^; 

It depends on how far you are with them. If you are starting to get past the pawing and kissing stage,yes,do ask. If they act insulted or indignant,then cut them loose. You are protecting yourself and your partner,so if anything you are doing the two of you a favor. You DO NOT want to play sexual Russian Roulette. I would rather play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded chamber than risk my own safety on a girl I just met.

It depends on how early in the conversation you're talking.

Let's do two conversations.

"Hi, my name is Ghost bear.  You look like you can dance.  Want to give it a go?"
"Hi, Ghostbear.  I'm Amy.  Um, do you have any STDs?"

That's a bit rude.  Especially if I'm not showing any herpes on my mouth.  It means she's assuming I have sex with a lot of people, it's done unprotected, and I make bad decisions.  I'm going to walk away from her, maybe after knocking her drink out of her hand for the assumption.  A girl (or a guy) says something like that, they probably don't get laid at all.

However, we dance, we have fun, we make out, and things get hot at the bar.

"Hey, Ghostbear, you're good at dancing so I assume you have some.... rhythm if you know what I mean.  I live over there, let's get going."
"Sounds good.  Sidenote, do you have protection?"

And go from there.

Well what with Charlie Sheen and everything I guess more girls would ask but this has never happened to me. A friend of mine keeps himself checked though because he slays girls all the time and he actually asks them if they aren't going to use a rubber. He is still free.

Rude or not, you have every right to ask and make sure you are safe.

And the best bet is always to use a condom, especially in the start of the relationship. Being on the pill doesn't keep you "safe", neither does if the person you are with claims to be a virgin. And if you have a sexual history yourself, you protect also the other person as much as you protect yourself. Even if its a one night stand, you should care as much for the person you are involved with.

I have never have had VD in my life. I think its more rude to ask that you don't use a condom when you say you are not going to do it without one. And yes, I have preferred not to do it at all than do it just because the girl prefers coitus interrupts than going to having a bath with her socks on. Better safe than sorry, kids.

No it isnt rude you should ask, if they take offense to it than thats a personal problem that they have or probably has an std

If you ask them as soon right after you start talking with them I'd say it could be considered a bit rude because it can essentially be interpreted as suggesting a person is s***ty as STDs are typically asossciated with having had intercourse with a lot of people. But if you've really gotten to know the person and plan to take it further then no I don't think it is unreasonable question to ask and in fact is something you should ask if it hasn't already been established, even if it can still be considered rude at that point as in it seeming like you're not trusting them, if the person in question really is interested in taking a relationship to the next level then they should be understanding enough to answer it, that's just my opinion though. It's also another reason for why wearing a condom is a good idea at first to be safe as it is the only sexual preventative that protects against STDs.

Super Mega Man 568 :   There are many questions you should ask a potential partner.  I am 34 and I get tested even though I have been with my wife for a long time.  First, wear a condom until you are ready to commit to a long term relationship.  That is going to be the number one stopper of STD's besides abstinence.  I know the condoms suck...but so can they...if you know what I mean.  Some ask how many people have you been with.  If it's a large number, I would probably start there

Honestly, I think if you have to ask you've probably picked one up from the wrong crowd to begin with. I mean, if I were getting interested in a girl, I would probably be plotting a lot on the outside without them having a clue and getting many details on who raised them, ect, what kind of morals her and her family has. If you're asking if they have STDs, then I can understand in most situations, but honestly, I doubt I would ever date a nonvirgin, or someone who lost their virginity by choice. Sex should be reserved for marriage, that's the safest way to go about it anyways. Kissing I don't have so much of a problem with unless it's french- which. . . to be honest, I don't have a full opinion about. I mean, I prrooooooobbbably wouldn't do it, but I admit I am more leery of the idea because of how I have been raised, over any logical ideas I've been holding. But, at the same time, if I met a good girl who I really liked and was willing to kiss me in such a manner? Well, I might do it- but only because at that point 90% of everything was matching up, and I would know if I could count on being with her forever or not. I generally always felt I would let the woman lead in how intimate me and she was within bounds and such. If I push for more or something, it would be gently. I doubt I would ever push for a french kiss just because of how intimate that is, as I have a lot of respect for my prospective partner. I'm not interested in having intercourse with her though unless we're married- that way I know the emotional ties and sexual ones created won't tear me apart after the fact should we break up before the marriage.

Super Mega Man 568 : you could always just use a condom or something,you could also just go straight out and say it to get it out of the way thats usuallly what I do.

Either way I dont think id be rude as muvh as i'd be awkward

kirbmanboggle : "that's what I do"




HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

bombchu link : I ment the second part you jerk,the first part is common sense.

kirbmanboggle : You said "usually" so I assumed that you have done it many times before, because usually means that you do it most of the time but sometimes would not. (I wouldn't recommend not, but that's your personal life and not something I should just barge in on.)





Also if it was "common sense" as you so boldly claim, then why does this thread exist in the first place?



Super Mega Man 588 is just asking an honest question that deserves an honest answer, are you assuming that he's not smart enough to have this "common sense" and needs to embarrass himself with such a demoralizing question?



Also I recommend using potential future tense verbs like "would" It might help you prevent making these mistakes in the future.

Alright lets just drop it no sense in starting a flame war