Hey, all! 
So, I recently made a thread announcing my new gender identity. If you're curious and want to read it, you can find the thread here. 

Anyway, I thought that people might have questions, or simply not know what 'transgender' means. This thread is here to answer your questions and to educate anyone who is confused!

What does "Transgender" mean?
Transgender (or trans for short) is an umbrella term that describes anyone who does not exclusively identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. This can go for many circumstances. For example, someone who was designated 'male' at birth but identifies as female is known as a Trans Girl.
Or, someone who identifies as male but was designated 'female' at birth, who is known as a Trans Boy. These terms are not meant to confuse you! They are exactly what they say they are. A Trans Girl is just a girl, plain and simple. People who do identify with the gender they were assigned at birth are referred to as cisgender (or cis for short). There are other ways people can be transgender. Someone who has no gender is referred to as agender. Someone who identifies as something other than male or female is referred to as nonbinary. These people may have a subgender or no gender at all. There are others who identify as more than one gender. These people can have multiple genders at the same time (bigender or polygender), or their gender may fluctuate or change periodically (genderfluid). All of these people are still part of the transgender community! 

What is the Gender Binary?
Binary is a word that means "two" or "two of something". The gender binary is simply the two-gender system that we are used to, Male and Female. However, not all trans people fall under the gender binary. These people may have a custom set of rules that apply to their gender, including titles and pronoun sets. These are very important to remember! If someone explains to you that they are nonbinary, make sure to listen very carefully to their gender outline. This is the way that you can refer to them when talking to them, or about them to other people. There are more than one type of transgender person that do fall under the binary, however. Bigender people identify as two or more genders. This doesn't necessarily apply to the gender binary exclusively, but it most commonly does. You can refer to a bigender person as either of the genders they identify as. Genderfluid folks are people whose gender changes. These changes are very sporadic and flexible, and do not necessarily follow a rigid schedule! These changes are also not confined to the binary. Here are some examples:
-A person who identifies as both male and female simultaneously (bigender)
-A person who identifies as male and a nonbinary gender simultaneously (bigender)
-A person who identifies as female and a nonbinary gender simultaneously (bigender)
-A person who identifies as male, female, and a third nonbinary gender simultaneously (polygender)
-A person who identifies as either male or female at any given time (genderfluid)
-A person who identifies as either male, female, or a third nonbinary gender at any given time (genderfluid)

Why are pronouns important?
As you probably don't want to refer to a trans person by their name every time you mention them, it is important to learn and memorize their pronoun sets. Misgendering a trans person through their pronouns (i.e. referring to a trans boy as "she") is a common mistake, but you should never do this on purpose! A trans person's pronouns are very important to them. Be sure to remember this and stay as vigilant as possible! It is a good idea to never assume someone's pronouns unless they have told you which set to use. Until you know a person's pronouns, stick with they/them/theirs when referring to them. But, after you have learned this person's pronouns, do not continue to use they/them/theirs on purpose! Doing so is still misgendering them and can be very offensive. There are many pronoun sets a person may use, depending on whether or not they fall into the binary. The three most common pronoun sets are:
- he/him/his (male)
- she/her/hers (female)
- they/them/theirs (neutral or unknown)
However, these are not the only pronoun sets! Others are far less common, but they still exist, and you should respect them if someone requests you use a specific set. Some less common alternative pronoun sets are:
- zey/zem/zir
- sie/sem/sey
- ey-etc
- cir (pronounced seer)
- co-etc
- hex-etc
These may seem complicated and hard to use, but try your best! Trans people are usually very understanding and are willing to work with you to improve your memorization of irregular pronouns. 

What can I do to respect the transgender community?
There has been and still is a lot of hate towards transgender people. Very few places in the world (and none so far in the US) have official laws in place to protect trans people. This is a big problem, but it is one that we are progressively working on! Here are some things you can do to make sure to respect and acknowledge trans folk:

- Never assume someone's gender!
This is a huge problem among cis people. When seeing someone, you are likely to automatically assume their gender. This is extremely narrow minded and can be very offensive to some trans people! The best policy when associating with someone is to use gender neutral pronouns (they/them/theirs) until you know their gender. Don't be nosy, though! Trans people will tell you when they are ready. Never ask a person's pronouns unless you know them well! This can be seen as disrespectful and a breach of privacy. 

- Don't base someone's gender on their genitals!
The way we determine a person's gender at birth is by looking at their genitals. This only applies when the person is too young to think for themselves! When someone has reached the age where they can independently think for themselves, it is no longer acceptable to assume their gender just because of their sex organs. Having a penis does not automatically make someone a boy. Having a vagina or perceptible breasts does not automatically make someone a girl. Never assume people's gender unless they make it perfectly clear to you!

- Don't use offensive or derogatory language!
Many trans people are insulted daily by peoples' use of slurs and other derogatory language. NEVER refer to a trans person as:
-"tranny"
-"it"
-"he-she"
-"ladyboy", "boygirl", "shemale", etc.
-"transsexual" (this word has a different meaning and most trans folk find the term offensive)
-"crossdresser" 
These terms are harmful slurs. Offensive language is not confined to the above list, however. Use good judgement! Don't use terms of endearment unless the person has explicitly given you permission to do so.

- Respect the privacy of a trans person!
Please be sure to be sensitive to the privacy of trans folk. Do not "out" trans people. Do NOT tell someone else that someone is trans unless they have given you permission to do so! Trans people may want to remain anonymous. They may also want to limit the amount of people who know about their gender identity. If a trans person comes out to you, they are placing an enormous amount of trust in you! Be sure to show gratitude for this, and respect their trust by making sure they are comfortable before telling others. If they ask you not to tell anyone else, do NOT tell anyone else. Period!

- Just be nice to trans people!
In general, be kind to trans people. Many trans people have mental issues or histories of abuse because of their gender identity. Always be there to show your support. Don't freak out just because you know a trans person! Don't be overly apologetic to a trans person if you misgender them or accidentally use a slur. We expect it from you. Just say you're sorry and move on. Most importantly, don't affix a label to someone if they're not comfortable with it! Just because someone isn't cis, it doesn't necessarily make them trans. Be kind, be helpful, be open minded, be flexible. 


That's the basics! I hope you find this informative. If you have any questions about any of this, or about anything I didn't cover here, please feel free to reply with your question! That's what this thread is for. As a transgender person myself, I am more than happy to answer any questions you may have. If you have a personal question, or wish to talk about your own gender in private, don't be afraid to send me a message! I'll gladly talk to you about whatever you need to talk about.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Good luck!

Xenthou : so i don't want to be rube but would a shemale like a girl with the ehm top half female and a whistle down stairs is that a transgender  

blasife :

Really, "shemale" is another word you should avoid using. 
But as an answer to your question, it depends on how they identify. Genitals are not a determining factor of someone's gender. Given that this person has a "whistle down stairs" as you put it, it would mean that they were designated male at birth. If they still identify as male, then no, they are still cis. I take your phrase "female top half" to mean that they have prominent breasts. If this is the case, then it's likely that they identify as female. Even so- you should never assume things. If they identify as female, then they would qualify as trans.

"female top half" is a biased term, meaning that it slaps a label on a dependent attribute. If the person themselves identify as female, then their "top half" is female by default. The label on any of a person's body parts depends on the person's gender identity. If someone who has prominent breasts identifies as male, then calling it a "female top half" is misgendering them, so you shouldn't use phrases like that!

Thank you for your question. If there's anything else you're confused about or want to discuss, don't hesitate to reply again and/or send me a private message.

Xenthou : k like i just wanted to say no rudeness intended so yea that answered me 

Xenthou :

I was going to make a s***post about this, but no, this is just to much to pass off.



First of all, before I get started

1. I'm not teasing you.


2. The world isn't going to do everything (or heck, anything for that matter) the way you want, you pretty much have to take things the way they are and roll with it.


3. You were polite as pie itself in your post. (that's a good thing) 


 

"Never assume someone's gender....and.....Don't base someone's gender on their genitals"


I'm sorry, but that's how gender is identified. (how else would we?)
You have put this mindset into your head that "oh it's okay to be whatever gender I want as long as I think it!" 



No; Reality (aka wikipedia/any science book in the world) says otherwise, and even with the assistance of surgery, you will still be a guy, and will always be a guy until the day you can give birth to kids, have periods, and eject cum. 
So at best, you are just Homosexual in reality, or Lesbian in your mind.


I tried to be nice, but sorry the truth hurts either way. /:

bombchu link :

Thank you for recognizing that I was trying to be polite. That ends now. Politeness is something which I am in no way obligated to give. I was doing so because this is a thread meant to educate people. It is not for people like you to come here with your hate and negativity. You're right, you're not teasing me - it was much worse than that. But I don't think you, as a straight cisgender male, have the capacity to understand the magnitude on which you have offended me with your post. So I'm going to take the time to explain exactly why everything you said is wrong and extremely hurtful.

Let's address this one at a time, shall we?

"I'm sorry, but that's how gender is identified. (how else would we?)"
Yes, you are correct. That is how gender is determined - at birth. When you're a newborn, you are nowhere near able to have independent thoughts, so you can't just stand up and tell the doctor he is wrong. But that doctor is a separate person with a separate brain. You were assigned a gender at birth because you couldn't decide it for yourself. Gender designated at birth is something we have to do so everyone isn't confused when a child is being raised. But as soon as that person can speak for themselves, that designation loses ground. From that point onward, if they decide that they aren't happy with the gender they were given, it is their every right to change it. It's not the doctor's decision, it's not their parents' decision, and it sure as hell isn't your decision.

"You have put this mindset into your head that "oh it's okay to be whatever gender I want as long as I think it!"
Right. Because thinking stuff is how we make decisions. That's why we have brains, and sentient thoughts, and are currently the dominant species on this planet. Guess what? Gender is a decision. And whose decision is it?
We've covered this already.

"No; Reality (aka wikipedia/any science book in the world) says otherwise,"
Wrong. You say that anything on wikipedia is reality? Here is the category page for everything you could possibly want to know about transgender, and it's on wikipedia. So you've contradicted yourself. And, "science books"? You'll have to be more specific. The term "science" covers a lot of stuff. But I'm assuming you mean biology, and we've already established that biology has no ground on which to stand against transgender. The only thing you could ever find in a biology textbook that pertains to gender would be stuff about genitals, which, as I've already mentioned five times now, does not determine someone's gender. Do your homework before making such a concrete claim.

"and even with the assistance of surgery, you will still be a guy,"
You've contradicted yourself again. Suppose I did have corrective surgery, and I went home with a vagina. Well, according to you, I'm absolutely a female! Because genitals are what determine someone's gender, right? And women are born with vaginas, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Surgery is irrelevant. Gender is not a physical thing.

"and will always be a guy until the day you can give birth to kids, have periods, and eject cum"
I'm not even going to bother arguing against this point. I've already said, seven times now, that gender has nothing to do with physical attributes.

"So at best, you are just Homosexual in reality, or Lesbian in your mind"
Sexuality and Gender are two different things. Whether or not I'm a woman has nothing to do with who I'm attracted to. And even if you really did think that when you typed that sentence, you're assuming that I'm attracted to the "opposite" sex. Don't push your heteronormativity on me.

"I tried to be nice, but sorry the truth hurts either way. /:"
No, you didn't try. Even if you think you did. Everything you said was extremely offensive.


To everyone else who reads this thread, please continue to feel free to ask questions and make comments! Don't take this person's negativity as a sign that I'm preoccupied. Instead, use it as a learning experience! I will still answer any questions anyone may have! 

Thanks!

Xenthou : i agree with bomb on some of what he said a man has wistle and girl has a holder simple as that. genitals do decide gender because with out them there would be no gender. Again not trying to be rude. I can think in my head that i am a dog. I have made the dicision not to be human any more. But wait i'm still human me thinking it or deciding it means nothing because i am still a man.(I am not a furry that was just the best example i could think of ) Again i am not trying to be rude i am just stating what i think of it and sorry whats true. 

bombchu link :

Thank you for trying to explain this to me, but I still think you just don't get it. And hey - that's alright. That's why trans people exist, that's what we've been fighting for all this time, and as long as there are people on the planet, there's going to be someone who doesn't get it. 

Have you ever seen The Matrix? When Morpheus asks Neo is he believes in fate, Neo says no. When Morpheus asks why, Neo puts it plain and simple: "Because I don't like the feeling that I'm not in charge of my own life."

That's just it. As we are each our own person, we've all earned the right to decide what we want. What we do. What we're going to be. How would you feel if someone came into your house one day and enslaved you? How would you feel if they told you that you're not allowed to make decisions for yourself, even the most basic ones such as your name or the clothes you wear? What if you were forced to go by a six digit number for the rest of your life? That is how trans people feel, every single day. Because of the overwhelming masses of cis people who insist on putting a label on us, we're forced to go day by day under someone else's decision. And not big moral decisions that there are laws for, but the most basic decision that we can make: our own gender. It's not something that's bound to us. It's something that we, as humans, have the ability to change. There's nothing about ourselves that we CAN'T change if we work hard enough for it. And as far as gender goes, it's something that we're destined to have to work the hardest for, our entire lives, until people finally understand that we are separate people and are capable of making our own decisions. 

But you've already made yours. You've made the decision to remain ignorant of that fact. And because that is your decision to make, I'll respect that. Even if I or any amount of people are unhappy with it. I only hope that one day, you'll change your mind.


This thread is still open for questions and comments! Thanks!

blasife :
(sorry for the double-post, but I didn't see yours until after I had replied to bombchu link's)

Oh, no. Please don't pull that argument on me. I suppose that it was going to come up sooner or later, so I'll just get this whole explanation out of the way now. You want to use the analogy that you could 'really feel' that you were a dog, and you wanted me to respect that. 

I have a different analogy for you to consider. Suppose I have a close friend, or maybe even a child or a sibling, who says he is straight, but who I think is “really” gay. In fact, I’m absolutely convinced that he is closeted and is simply lying to himself and everyone else when he claims to be heterosexual.

What should I do? Should I mock him? Should I constantly needle him by referring to him as gay? Should I talk about him as if he is gay to other people, and constantly insinuate that he is gay every chance I get? Should I force my opinion of who he “really” is onto him at every turn?

Of course I shouldn’t! This is someone I care about. This is my best friend, or my brother, or my son. Why on earth would I disrespect him like that? It would be mean and insulting. Instead, I will accept him as a straight person, until that time comes—if it ever does—that he decides to come to me and confide in me that he thinks he is not. At that point, I will love him just the same.
This is common sense for anyone who actually cares about other people. A good friend, a good family member, is someone who gives people space to define and explore themselves. Because in the end, the fact that you “disagree” just doesn’t matter when you care about someone.

People who argue against trans rights, and by implication against respect for trans people, obsess over the notion of what it means to be a “real man” or a “real woman.” People who would like to dismiss the importance of respecting trans people want to focus entirely on technical definitions and what they consider to be “objective truth.”

Why? Because then it is no longer a conversation about how to treat human beings. Instead, we’re off to the races in academia! Now the argument becomes all about how the word “woman” is defined (or, heaven help us, how the word “real” is defined), and the general public quickly loses interest. None of that matters when we are talking about respect and love. If you think your son is gay, and he says he is straight, you don’t pick at him and tell him he’s “objectively wrong.” You don’t constantly remind him that you disagree. You just accept him for who he says he is. The fact that “deep down” you think what he is saying is “really false” simply isn’t as important as treating someone you love with caring and respect. The same thing is true when you interact with members of the trans community. Maybe you really, truly, and deeply believe that your trans daughter or friend is “really” a boy. Fine. So what? It’s your opinion. Keep it to yourself.

Sure, you can't just transform into a dog. You are a human. That is a physical constant. Nothing will ever change the fact that you are a human. Just like having a penis or a vagina is a physical constant. But that's the limit of it. You know what? Gender isn't a physical constant! I'm not sure how many times I'm going to have to say it! Gender is a social construct. The first idea of labelling someone as "male" or "female" came out of the mind of a human, and that's how it's going to stay for all of time. It's a thing that is decided not through physical attributes, but by the conscious decision of a person. Please try a little harder to grasp this fact, it's quite simple. The only reason you're given a gender at birth is because you can't decide for yourself yet. No amount of underlines is going to make that any more true. As soon as you have the ability to do so, just like the first person who decided that gender was a thing, you can use your own brain to make your own decision to decide your own gender. Plain. And. Simple.

Now, I'm tired of explaining this point over and over again. If anyone else feels that they need to argue as to why genitals decide someone's gender, please do so in a private message to me. This thread is for constructive conversation and legitimate questions about the trans community. Not for me to make a hundred posts that all essentially say the same thing. 

And if any of you have any such questions, please feel free to reply with them!

Thanks!

Xenthou :


Can I ask one more question? Thanks.



Have you even considered, the though,
that you

might


be



wrong? 



That' gender is just one of the things not modifiable in this universe? Such as the law of thermodynamics? or Gravity?
As I said before, it's half of who we are after all. 





At the least, I guess we can agree to disagree if you are up for that. 

bombchu link :

No. 

Because my gender is not something that will always be there. If I die, then my gender dies with me. Stuff like gravity and universal constants will continue as long as the universe exists. But I will not.

So I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone or something else decide my gender.

Xenthou :

"No."

That

is why

you fail. 

I did open my mind coming into this, but seeing that the other side doesn't even want to try and learn anything made this entire conversation completely pointless.

bombchu link :

...I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't failed at anything. In fact, I am quite successful, both in life and in this thread. You have yet to prove that anything you have said has any relevance, bearing, or impact on the matter at hand, whatsoever. Let me just say this.

Consider how deeply stigmatized transgender identities are. Even so, people have shown time and again that they are willing to risk virtually everything to transition to another gender: careers, families, friendships, social status, economic stability. Common sense tells you that if individuals are willing to lose so much, the drive to have one’s inner gender identity match one’s assigned gender identity must be powerful indeed. And it’s not like we’re talking about just a few lone individuals here, either. In the U.S., there is a transgender community of some 700,000 people, many of whom report strikingly similar feelings and experiences. And that's just the norm. I'm lucky- I haven't lost any of these things. I don’t think it’s necessary to understand transgender identity, exactly. It's something that I wish everyone could do, but it's not absolutely necessary. But I do think it’s important to have the humility to understand that it is a real thing in the world, that it is profound, and that it deserves respect.

So please. Unless you have anything meaningful and relevant to contribute to this discussion, I'm going to ask that you refrain from posting here again. This thread is for educating those who want to know more about transgender, for those who are actually interested. Not for people who want to come here and do nothing but display their complete ignorance. It's insulting to me. If you really feel that you need to continue talking about this, do so in a private message.

For those of you who are confused, curious, and want to learn, this thread is open to questions and constructive criticism, as it always has been. Thank you.

Xenthou :

"...I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't failed at anything."

I was talking about the openmindedness. 
 
"In fact, I am quite successful, both in life and in this thread."

I can't speak for your life (It prolly is pretty good since you say so ), but let's leave the success rate of your thread up to the viewers.

If you are not willing to listen to the other side and not be like "but that's wrong now even though it's been that way for 1,000's of years" then you aren't going to get anywhere. 





Me: Gender is decided by your body. 

You: No, It's not, it's decided by feelings
 
Me: Pardon, but it's actually decided by your body because The way that gender is decided is because of your sexual body parts. 
 
You: No, It's not, It's decided by feelings, it might be a birth, but when you can decide otherwise, you can change is just in your mind.
 
Me: I'm sorry, but it is decided by bodily parts, not in your mind. Everything needs to have some sort of physical bearing or else it simply cannot exist. It's been like that for the past 6000 years, and hasn't changed So why should it today, just because you and your community want it to.
 
You: You are a bully, what you just said is very sensitive to the trans-gender community. 
 
Me: The truth is the truth, if it offends somebody then I'm sorry, it is what it is. Have you even considered that you might be wrong In all of this?
 
You: No

Me: Then I can't help you, if your not willing to even consider that your ideas are wrong. Even great scientists have admitted that they were wrong when they were actually wrong about something, and that takes a lot of guts to do. (and I'm suppose to be the bad guy here, huh)


You: I don't know what you are talking about, I haven't failed at anything YOU are ignorant! If you want to continue this do it in a PM!

Me: ......dude...I'm not trying to-

You: I'M NOT A DUDE! I already said that now you are being downright OFFENSIVE! 




So what I learned in this thread is that people that are trans, or whatever term they want me to use:

 
1. Take offence if you try to state that their sexuality defines their......sexuality. 
 
2. That I am a idiot and hateful against the Trans community because I said #1.
 
3. Trans-people (or at least you) are very self righteous, and think that Trans (and their gender) is completely a mental choice, not a reality. (kinda like religion)

It's almost as if you are trying to stand up for something "good" and that's why you have such a zeal to pursue after it.  

But just step back and think, Why should I change my Gender if God made me this way? (if you believe in that sorta thing)
Doesn't he have a purpose for my life, and if he made me perfectly in the way I am to do what he wants me to do for my best interest, then why am I trying to change myself to match what I want, when I am made perfectly, just the way I am?

bombchu link :

"It's almost as if you are trying to stand up for something "good""
Seriously? How dare you. 

I asked you politely to stop replying here, because I know that anything further you're going to try to tell me is just going to be more ignorance and insults. And I was absolutely right. Now I'll say it again - stop replying here. All you're doing is saying things I've already addressed, but this time you're adding more and more offensive material. 

Local Moderators :

Xenthou :


oooooooooooooooooooooopppppppss



and fail summon

Local Moderators :

Good gosh, guys. Both of you need to calm down, lol.

-closed at request of OP