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PhilipDraco
05-05-14 09:28 AM
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Playing Doctor: Worst Aid Edition

 

05-05-14 09:28 AM
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WARNING! WARNING!



The following medical advise will be ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. Do NOT try this at home!



And with that,time to play doctor! And we'll prove to be terrible ones!

The point of this game is as follows.
Poster A has a minor symptom, little things like headaches and stubbed toes.
Poster B tells him THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY to "cure" the ailment.
Example:



Poster ADoc, I think I'm coming down with a cold...



Poster BYou should Encourage it! Stand close to the refrigerator with Ice Cubes and Wet hair!

Wow, my back has been hurting recently....




Poster CThe best way to deal with that is strenuous exercise! I recommended a 20 mile hike!

...And so on!


Important note: Keep things minor.
I don't want anyone posting terrible cures for serious illnesses. Ignore any post that does this

Make sure it's major though, peeling skin is probably just a sunburn...

....annnddd with that

"Doctor! I'm seeing spots! What should I do?!"
WARNING! WARNING!



The following medical advise will be ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. Do NOT try this at home!



And with that,time to play doctor! And we'll prove to be terrible ones!

The point of this game is as follows.
Poster A has a minor symptom, little things like headaches and stubbed toes.
Poster B tells him THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY to "cure" the ailment.
Example:



Poster ADoc, I think I'm coming down with a cold...



Poster BYou should Encourage it! Stand close to the refrigerator with Ice Cubes and Wet hair!

Wow, my back has been hurting recently....




Poster CThe best way to deal with that is strenuous exercise! I recommended a 20 mile hike!

...And so on!


Important note: Keep things minor.
I don't want anyone posting terrible cures for serious illnesses. Ignore any post that does this

Make sure it's major though, peeling skin is probably just a sunburn...

....annnddd with that

"Doctor! I'm seeing spots! What should I do?!"

--------------------
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(edited by PhilipDraco on 05-05-14 09:50 AM)    

05-05-14 09:32 AM
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PhilipDraco : doctor i have a bullet wound in my arm
PhilipDraco : doctor i have a bullet wound in my arm

Someone's always there.
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05-05-14 09:41 AM
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Hmm, a Bullet wound?

Okay then, what you do is get a vacuum cleaner to suck the bullet out of the hole.

Next, you take a bandanna and wrap it around the bullet hole. (I think I saw that in "Rambo" )

Lastly, use the arm as MUCH as possible. That way your healing cells know where the problem is.

There you go, good as new!




Doctor, I'm seeing spots! What do I dooo?
Hmm, a Bullet wound?

Okay then, what you do is get a vacuum cleaner to suck the bullet out of the hole.

Next, you take a bandanna and wrap it around the bullet hole. (I think I saw that in "Rambo" )

Lastly, use the arm as MUCH as possible. That way your healing cells know where the problem is.

There you go, good as new!




Doctor, I'm seeing spots! What do I dooo?

--------------------
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(edited by PhilipDraco on 05-05-14 09:44 AM)    

05-05-14 02:15 PM
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Spots you say?

Alright, here is what you need to do:
-Color the spots a different color each.
-Get a compass, and put a color on each side.
-Spin it around, and play Twister.

Ah, another successful procedure!

Doctor, I seem to have broken my arm. What should I do?
Spots you say?

Alright, here is what you need to do:
-Color the spots a different color each.
-Get a compass, and put a color on each side.
-Spin it around, and play Twister.

Ah, another successful procedure!

Doctor, I seem to have broken my arm. What should I do?

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05-05-14 05:21 PM
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*puts on lens-less glasses to look at the arm*
Hmm... a broken arm you say? I can get it back into place for you. It's a simple procedure, really. Just take this here hammer, and smack it against your broken arm every three hours. It should realign the bone.

Doctor, it appears my nose is bleeding. What should I do?
*puts on lens-less glasses to look at the arm*
Hmm... a broken arm you say? I can get it back into place for you. It's a simple procedure, really. Just take this here hammer, and smack it against your broken arm every three hours. It should realign the bone.

Doctor, it appears my nose is bleeding. What should I do?

--------------------
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05-05-14 09:52 PM
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i'd suggest staring at hot anime characters.

i appear to have a papercut...
i'd suggest staring at hot anime characters.

i appear to have a papercut...

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05-05-14 11:19 PM
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Papercut? I do believe you should open it up more, then dump some lemonade on it.

I appear to have dislocated my shoulder
Papercut? I do believe you should open it up more, then dump some lemonade on it.

I appear to have dislocated my shoulder

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05-05-14 11:37 PM
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maguc :

I believe that's one of the early signs of Were-wolftis. Try to stay away from moonlight, and rub a clove of garlic onto the shoulder consistently.

Come back to my office if you feel Hairy or grow teeth (During the day, preferably)

.....

Doctor, I have a stomach ache!
maguc :

I believe that's one of the early signs of Were-wolftis. Try to stay away from moonlight, and rub a clove of garlic onto the shoulder consistently.

Come back to my office if you feel Hairy or grow teeth (During the day, preferably)

.....

Doctor, I have a stomach ache!

--------------------
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05-07-14 02:47 AM
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Seriously?! That's the easiest thing to cure! Just cut out anything below your lungs so you don't have a stomach ache anymore!

Doctor, I think I'm going deaf in one of my ears.
My reply would be...
Seriously?! That's the easiest thing to cure! Just cut out anything below your lungs so you don't have a stomach ache anymore!

Doctor, I think I'm going deaf in one of my ears.


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I agree with you!
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05-07-14 07:31 PM
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Then try to balance it out and scream as loud as you can in the other.


Doctor, I think my toe is bleeding.
Then try to balance it out and scream as loud as you can in the other.


Doctor, I think my toe is bleeding.

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05-08-14 12:25 AM
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well cut off your toe and put paper on it

Doctor, my back has been hurting
well cut off your toe and put paper on it

Doctor, my back has been hurting

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05-08-14 12:59 PM
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Why, that's easy to cure my friend! You just have to let somebody jump onto your back so the bones will grow in the right direction.

Doctor, I've got a wound that won't stop bleeding no matter what I try!
Here I go!
Why, that's easy to cure my friend! You just have to let somebody jump onto your back so the bones will grow in the right direction.

Doctor, I've got a wound that won't stop bleeding no matter what I try!

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05-08-14 04:24 PM
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juuldude : pick at it at all time eventually it'll get smaller and smaller if its painfull thats meens its working
and also stick a dirty cloth on it to stop the bleeding also if it hurts continuesly its working
juuldude : pick at it at all time eventually it'll get smaller and smaller if its painfull thats meens its working
and also stick a dirty cloth on it to stop the bleeding also if it hurts continuesly its working

Someone's always there.
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05-09-14 07:25 PM
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Since the last user forgot to add a sickness I shall continue it  

Doctor help my finger nail came off what do I do?
Since the last user forgot to add a sickness I shall continue it  

Doctor help my finger nail came off what do I do?

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05-09-14 10:40 PM
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Put glue on the nail and put it back on your finger, if it comes off again put tape on it.

Doctor, i have a huge spider bite on my lag and it wont heal! What do i do?
Put glue on the nail and put it back on your finger, if it comes off again put tape on it.

Doctor, i have a huge spider bite on my lag and it wont heal! What do i do?

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05-09-14 11:03 PM
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The problem is that you're not balancing it out. You need to pour a bunch of spiders on your other leg, and hope one of them bites you.

Doctor, it appears I only have three fingers on my left hand!
The problem is that you're not balancing it out. You need to pour a bunch of spiders on your other leg, and hope one of them bites you.

Doctor, it appears I only have three fingers on my left hand!

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05-10-14 03:42 PM
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You don't have to balance it out, all you have to do is to replace those missing fingers with knifes.

Doctor, I have diarrhea and I have to drink three liters of water a day
I'll fry you with my crimson flames!
You don't have to balance it out, all you have to do is to replace those missing fingers with knifes.

Doctor, I have diarrhea and I have to drink three liters of water a day

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05-12-14 11:20 PM
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juuldude : Flush it all out! Mix laxatives into your water to help the process speed up.

Doctor, my nose is bleeding uncontrollably!
juuldude : Flush it all out! Mix laxatives into your water to help the process speed up.

Doctor, my nose is bleeding uncontrollably!

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05-16-14 10:57 AM
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Ah yes nose bleeds a common and easy fix. All you must do is to find a really big and strong person and have them punch you as hard as they can in the nose. This will cause your nostrils to close up not allowing anymore blood to fall out.  

Doctor, I stepped on a rusty nail, help!!
Ah yes nose bleeds a common and easy fix. All you must do is to find a really big and strong person and have them punch you as hard as they can in the nose. This will cause your nostrils to close up not allowing anymore blood to fall out.  

Doctor, I stepped on a rusty nail, help!!

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05-18-14 04:05 PM
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No need to panic. Mix honey with gasoline and light a match on your foot, while singing the National Anthem.

Doctor help! My head hurts like crazy! What do I do?
No need to panic. Mix honey with gasoline and light a match on your foot, while singing the National Anthem.

Doctor help! My head hurts like crazy! What do I do?

--------------------
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