Carlton Lassiter of the Santa Barbara Police Force has been accused of murdering Jimmy the Flying Squirrel of the Amazing Animal Circus.  During the Circus’ trip to Santa Barbara, Jimmy escaped from his cage and left in the direction of the police headquarters, where Lassiter was sitting outside eating peanuts.  Jimmy, in an attempt to retrieve nuts that had fallen into Lassiter’s shoe, was brutally shot while Lassiter held a smile on his face.  Despite Lassiter’s claims of justified self-defense, this fact was discovered by Head Psychic Shawn Spencer of the SBPD.  “I’m sensing something!  Rats...no, curses!  Nuts!  I’m also sensing another word: Dang!  Darn!  Shoot...Shoe!  Search Lassie’s left shoe!”  The shoe was then discovered to have the nuts Jimmy was attempting to retrieve, and Lassiter’s claim of justified self-defense was rendered moot.  

The chief was not available for comment, but when interviewed, Spencer contributed this: “I’ve long known Lassie to be a brutal squirrel-killer.  His house is filled with the stuffed remains of his victims.  Give him a gun, and show him a squirrel, and it’s open season!  In fact, this isn’t the first time he’s been reprimanded for squirrel murder.  Last July, he…”  The rest is too gruesome to mention here.

His trial is to be held May 12th, and he is currently being held without bail.

Now to summon people who will likely be interested in this story:

mrfe :
EideticMemory :
deg2000 :
A user of this :
QuigMaster1 :
Eirinn :

lol Nice. Is this fan written, or from an episode, or what? I'm not current with the series at the moment.

Eirinn : I wrote it.  I sort of got the idea from the musical.  I wanted to give Psych fans a good laugh.

I like it! We need more Psych fanfics out here. Great job. The part with Shawn really sounded like him. XD

It's written so well that at the time you posted it, I wasn't sure whether you were hinting from a future episode or what, honestly.

I found it really funny, love it!