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The Incredibly Bad Joke Thread

 

03-04-14 10:41 AM
Surgiac is Offline
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Did you hear about the circus fire?

Spoiler:
It was in tents.
Did you hear about the circus fire?

Spoiler:
It was in tents.


--------------------
John 15:13 Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
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03-04-14 06:49 PM
TheFadedWarrior is Offline
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What's the difference between a duck and a goose?

Spoiler:
One of them is a duck and one of them is a goose


What motivated the chicken to cross the road?

Spoiler:
There was ground on the other side
What's the difference between a duck and a goose?

Spoiler:
One of them is a duck and one of them is a goose


What motivated the chicken to cross the road?

Spoiler:
There was ground on the other side


--------------------

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03-04-14 07:22 PM
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What did one fish in a tank say to the other?
Spoiler:
Do you know how to drive this thing?


What did the muffin say to the baker?
Spoiler:
Nothing. Pastries can't talk.
What did one fish in a tank say to the other?
Spoiler:
Do you know how to drive this thing?


What did the muffin say to the baker?
Spoiler:
Nothing. Pastries can't talk.


--------------------
Perma Banned
Wait, so IS mayonnaise an instrument?


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03-04-14 08:06 PM
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The energizer bunny was sent to prison.

He was charged with battery.
The energizer bunny was sent to prison.

He was charged with battery.

--------------------
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(edited by MoblinGardens on 03-04-14 08:07 PM)    

03-12-14 01:28 PM
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yo mama so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
yo mama so stupid when the pub owner said the drinks were on the house she got a ladder
yo mama so stupid she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken
yo mama so stupid she sold her Car for Petrol cash
yo mama so stupid she invented a silent car alarm



There you go. Homies.
yo mama so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side
yo mama so stupid when the pub owner said the drinks were on the house she got a ladder
yo mama so stupid she asked for a refund on a jigsaw puzzle complaining it was broken
yo mama so stupid she sold her Car for Petrol cash
yo mama so stupid she invented a silent car alarm



There you go. Homies.

--------------------
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03-12-14 02:30 PM
thephantombrain is Offline
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*blows raspberry* What a bunch of stinkers! Awful, just awful...

A guy walks into a bar and says -
Spoiler:
OUCH!


A guy goes to see his doctor. He says, "DOC! I'M A TEEPEE! I'M A WIGWAM! I'M A TEEPEE! I'M A WIGWAM!"
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you -
Spoiler:
you're two tents."


Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Be sure to tip your waiter!
*blows raspberry* What a bunch of stinkers! Awful, just awful...

A guy walks into a bar and says -
Spoiler:
OUCH!


A guy goes to see his doctor. He says, "DOC! I'M A TEEPEE! I'M A WIGWAM! I'M A TEEPEE! I'M A WIGWAM!"
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you -
Spoiler:
you're two tents."


Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Be sure to tip your waiter!

--------------------
...Order a layout from me here...
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03-13-14 06:17 PM
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Why did the one armed skeleton cross the road?
Spoiler:
to get to the second hand shop





Why did the one armed skeleton cross the road?
Spoiler:
to get to the second hand shop


--------------------


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03-15-14 10:56 AM
patar4097 is Offline
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I love seeing all these horrible jokes. Well, I've got a few more.

What did one lawyer say to another lawyer?
Spoiler:
"We're both lawyers"


Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Spoiler:
Because if it had four, it would be a sedan.


Did you know that if you add five years to your age,
Spoiler:
that's how old you will be in five years?


Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Spoiler:
Right where you left it.
I love seeing all these horrible jokes. Well, I've got a few more.

What did one lawyer say to another lawyer?
Spoiler:
"We're both lawyers"


Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
Spoiler:
Because if it had four, it would be a sedan.


Did you know that if you add five years to your age,
Spoiler:
that's how old you will be in five years?


Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Spoiler:
Right where you left it.


--------------------
~Christian users of Vizzed~
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(edited by patar4097 on 03-15-14 10:56 AM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: sillysoul,

03-15-14 10:59 AM
Uzar is Offline
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Uzar
A user of this
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Where did Iwata and Miyamoto graduate?
Spoiler:
Wii U



A horse walks into a bar
Spoiler:
And the bartender calls animal control and the horse is returned to it's home
Where did Iwata and Miyamoto graduate?
Spoiler:
Wii U



A horse walks into a bar
Spoiler:
And the bartender calls animal control and the horse is returned to it's home


--------------------

Layout made by TornadoMudkip


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I wonder what the character limit on this thing is.


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03-16-14 10:30 AM
Meekymilly is Offline
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A french man asks for coffee with no cream, the waitress replies:

Spoiler:
"Sorry we have no cream, how about a cup with no milk?
A french man asks for coffee with no cream, the waitress replies:

Spoiler:
"Sorry we have no cream, how about a cup with no milk?


--------------------
Member
Legalize pot!


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04-11-14 08:20 AM
juuldude is Offline
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Say how do you this spoiler thing that you can't see the answer?

How do you call a Chinese who can fly (with an airplane)?

A pilot!

I guess it's going te be hard now coming up with something better
Here I go!
Say how do you this spoiler thing that you can't see the answer?

How do you call a Chinese who can fly (with an airplane)?

A pilot!

I guess it's going te be hard now coming up with something better


____________________
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04-11-14 11:03 AM
patar4097 is Offline
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juuldude : Around the text that you want to be covered, use the format tags the text here . Just use [ and ] brackets instead.




How does NASA organize their company parties?

Spoiler:
They planet.


My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
Spoiler:
He's only got his shelf to blame.


Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Spoiler:
Because he was outstanding in his field.

When asked how he got his talent, he replied:
Spoiler:
"It's in my jeans."


What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Spoiler:
                                           


Why was the tomato red?
Spoiler:
Because it was ripe.


Not as good as the rest, but I can't come up with any more.
juuldude : Around the text that you want to be covered, use the format tags the text here . Just use [ and ] brackets instead.




How does NASA organize their company parties?

Spoiler:
They planet.


My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books.
Spoiler:
He's only got his shelf to blame.


Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Spoiler:
Because he was outstanding in his field.

When asked how he got his talent, he replied:
Spoiler:
"It's in my jeans."


What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Spoiler:
                                           


Why was the tomato red?
Spoiler:
Because it was ripe.


Not as good as the rest, but I can't come up with any more.

--------------------
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(edited by patar4097 on 04-11-14 11:04 AM)    

04-11-14 11:18 AM
juuldude is Offline
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patar4097 : Thanks, I'll try it right now:

Why does Santa give presents to everybody?
[Spoiler:]
[They take up too many space in his house.]

Darn it, it doesn't work. Can you tell what I'm doing wrong?
Here I go!
patar4097 : Thanks, I'll try it right now:

Why does Santa give presents to everybody?
[Spoiler:]
[They take up too many space in his house.]

Darn it, it doesn't work. Can you tell what I'm doing wrong?

____________________
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(edited by juuldude on 04-11-14 11:20 AM)    

04-11-14 11:47 AM
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What's the difference between piano and a fish?

Spoiler:
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.[spoiler]
What's the difference between piano and a fish?

Spoiler:
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.[spoiler]

--------------------
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04-13-14 05:38 PM
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I love this thread. Please enjoy my tasteless joke.



What lays eggs and hangs around your neck?
Spoiler:
Hentai
I love this thread. Please enjoy my tasteless joke.



What lays eggs and hangs around your neck?
Spoiler:
Hentai


--------------------
Made by hilacle
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04-13-14 08:05 PM
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Ok, here's one that I actually came up with on my own. (get ready to groan)

I don't participate in jokes regarding shorter people, it's beneath me.

*ba-dum-tiss*

Ok, here's one that I actually came up with on my own. (get ready to groan)

I don't participate in jokes regarding shorter people, it's beneath me.

*ba-dum-tiss*



--------------------
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[1:32 AM] A user of this: wALL'D MYNERD


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04-23-14 02:26 PM
thephantombrain is Offline
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mrfe : Since we're also telling jokes that we made up, I just came up with one of my own. It's pretty terrible...

How do you make a ROM hack?
Spoiler:
Force it to smoke tobacco.
mrfe : Since we're also telling jokes that we made up, I just came up with one of my own. It's pretty terrible...

How do you make a ROM hack?
Spoiler:
Force it to smoke tobacco.


--------------------
Coding? Make it so. ~ thephantombrain
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04-23-14 09:07 PM
Eternalflame7 is Offline
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hopefully I do this spoiler thingy right 

What did one street light say to the other
Spoiler: [ Don't look I'm changing ] 

What did one ocean say to the other 
Spoiler: [ Noting it just waved ] 

sillysoul   I know it's horrible but I couldn't stop laughing.
hopefully I do this spoiler thingy right 

What did one street light say to the other
Spoiler: [ Don't look I'm changing ] 

What did one ocean say to the other 
Spoiler: [ Noting it just waved ] 

sillysoul   I know it's horrible but I couldn't stop laughing.

--------------------
Member

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(edited by Eternalflame7 on 04-23-14 09:10 PM)    

04-26-14 12:41 AM
Elijah_Madigan is Offline
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| ID: 1013205 | 28 Words

Elijah_Madigan
Level: 47

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what did the Cross (X) say to the Naught (O) after it had stayed up past its bedtime?
Spoiler:
"I'm CROSS 'cos you've been NAUGHTy."

*rim shot*
what did the Cross (X) say to the Naught (O) after it had stayed up past its bedtime?
Spoiler:
"I'm CROSS 'cos you've been NAUGHTy."

*rim shot*

--------------------
Made by zelda2
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(edited by Elijah_Madigan on 04-26-14 12:42 AM)    

04-27-14 02:50 AM
Elpizo is Offline
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What did the sea say to the rock?
Spoiler:
nothing, it just waived
What did the sea say to the rock?
Spoiler:
nothing, it just waived


--------------------
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