Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Register
Signup for Free!
-More Features-
-Far Less Ads-
☷ Vizzed.com Play Retro Games Vizzed Board Video Games Game Music Market Minecraft (1) Radio Widgets Virtual Bible
☷ Register   Login  
New Posts All Threads Contribution Points Your Threads News and Updates User Ranks Active Users
About   Users   Help
Users & Guests Online
On Page: 1
Directory: 1 & 131
Entire Site: 8 & 930
Page Staff: pokemon x, pennylessz, Barathemos, tgags123, alexanyways, supercool22, RavusRat,
04-19-24 07:08 AM

Forum Links

Related Threads
Coming Soon

Thread Information

Views
940
Replies
9
Rating
0
Status
CLOSED
Thread
Creator
generalspleen
07-09-13 03:36 PM
Last
Post
SacredShadow
07-11-13 07:45 PM
Additional Thread Details
Views: 196
Today: 0
Users: 1 unique

Thread Actions

Thread Closed
New Thread
New Poll
Order
 

A tragic life

 

07-09-13 03:36 PM
generalspleen is Offline
Link
| ID: 840786 | 349 Words

generalspleen
Level: 33


POSTS: 133/233
POST EXP: 29887
LVL EXP: 227886
CP: 1634.2
VIZ: 74022

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Hello there again vizzed community It is I general spleen here with another poem. Now this poem is an original like the others I posted but this one particular poem I got paid to do by this person right here:
Zeross121:
He asked me to make a poem for him for his own personal desires or whatever the reason may be. Anyways so I have completed said poem ad here it is for all to see!!! I hope you enjoy it. I call it... A Tragic Life. Enjoy
Depressing thoughts cloud his mind,
Death is closing in from behind,
His plea to live has been declined,
His dead body is what you will find.

All of his life he has lived in this hell,
He has been trapped for so long inside his cell,
This man before you has lived so long in his shell.
The problems in his life he has no one to tell.

Everything around him has gone down the drain.
He is surrounded by fiery rain.
He is tired of living life with all of his pain,
But he is too scared to put a bullet through his brain.

He drops the gun and his eyes swell with tears.
He sits in his chair and chugs a few beers,
Trying to forget his sorrow and his fears.
He gets in his car and dies from a deer.
Zeross121: I hope this is what you were looking for
And to everyone else if you guys would like me to make a poem for you guys I have a seperate thread where you can make your requests. I hope you all enjoyed this poem even though its dark. It's what zeross121 asked for basically I shall be posting more poems soon. If that's what you all want me to do then let me know when you comment on my poems. You guys motivate and encourage me to keep writing. And let me know if u have a personal request in my other thread. This is general spleen signing out. Bieeeeee!!!!
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Hello there again vizzed community It is I general spleen here with another poem. Now this poem is an original like the others I posted but this one particular poem I got paid to do by this person right here:
Zeross121:
He asked me to make a poem for him for his own personal desires or whatever the reason may be. Anyways so I have completed said poem ad here it is for all to see!!! I hope you enjoy it. I call it... A Tragic Life. Enjoy
Depressing thoughts cloud his mind,
Death is closing in from behind,
His plea to live has been declined,
His dead body is what you will find.

All of his life he has lived in this hell,
He has been trapped for so long inside his cell,
This man before you has lived so long in his shell.
The problems in his life he has no one to tell.

Everything around him has gone down the drain.
He is surrounded by fiery rain.
He is tired of living life with all of his pain,
But he is too scared to put a bullet through his brain.

He drops the gun and his eyes swell with tears.
He sits in his chair and chugs a few beers,
Trying to forget his sorrow and his fears.
He gets in his car and dies from a deer.
Zeross121: I hope this is what you were looking for
And to everyone else if you guys would like me to make a poem for you guys I have a seperate thread where you can make your requests. I hope you all enjoyed this poem even though its dark. It's what zeross121 asked for basically I shall be posting more poems soon. If that's what you all want me to do then let me know when you comment on my poems. You guys motivate and encourage me to keep writing. And let me know if u have a personal request in my other thread. This is general spleen signing out. Bieeeeee!!!!
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-21-13
Location: Florida
Last Post: 2699 days
Last Active: 1278 days

(edited by generalspleen on 07-09-13 03:40 PM)    

07-09-13 04:13 PM
zeross121 is Offline
Link
| ID: 840819 | 21 Words

zeross121
Level: 52


POSTS: 221/654
POST EXP: 37410
LVL EXP: 1066170
CP: 1818.4
VIZ: 678

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
HAHAHA Brilliant Sir Spleen brilliant ! Hilarious, dark and deadly. Exactly what I was looking for, Thank you Sir Spleen !
HAHAHA Brilliant Sir Spleen brilliant ! Hilarious, dark and deadly. Exactly what I was looking for, Thank you Sir Spleen !
Perma Banned

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-04-13
Last Post: 3524 days
Last Active: 3523 days

07-09-13 04:15 PM
Mohammedroxx3 is Offline
Link
| ID: 840823 | 41 Words

Mohammedroxx3
mohammedroxx3
Level: 123


POSTS: 932/4716
POST EXP: 427341
LVL EXP: 20647922
CP: 37419.3
VIZ: 1465204

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Uhh. . . Um. . . Wow, this is an amazing poem alright. And the really amazing thing here is that you were able to describe anyone with great rhythm and characteristics. 

I look forward to your future poems man!
Uhh. . . Um. . . Wow, this is an amazing poem alright. And the really amazing thing here is that you were able to describe anyone with great rhythm and characteristics. 

I look forward to your future poems man!
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-03-13
Location: Earth?
Last Post: 1114 days
Last Active: 1002 days

07-09-13 04:29 PM
generalspleen is Offline
Link
| ID: 840831 | 61 Words

generalspleen
Level: 33


POSTS: 134/233
POST EXP: 29887
LVL EXP: 227886
CP: 1634.2
VIZ: 74022

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
zeross121 : your quite welcome good sir? If you have anymore requests just post it in my request thread and we can discuss more business there
Mohammedroxx3: could you possibly explain what you meant in your post? I don't understand what you are trying to say about the poem. Thanks in advance
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
zeross121 : your quite welcome good sir? If you have anymore requests just post it in my request thread and we can discuss more business there
Mohammedroxx3: could you possibly explain what you meant in your post? I don't understand what you are trying to say about the poem. Thanks in advance
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-21-13
Location: Florida
Last Post: 2699 days
Last Active: 1278 days

07-10-13 10:21 PM
Eirinn is Offline
Link
| ID: 842014 | 40 Words

Eirinn
Level: 154


POSTS: 1924/7900
POST EXP: 1300417
LVL EXP: 46004665
CP: 69368.0
VIZ: 1836533

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Wow. I did not see the ending coming. lol It was, of course, well written. Keep it up, man. It's been too long since I read a poem by you, so hopefully I find more from you soon.
Wow. I did not see the ending coming. lol It was, of course, well written. Keep it up, man. It's been too long since I read a poem by you, so hopefully I find more from you soon.
Vizzed Elite
Eirinn


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-18-12
Last Post: 2053 days
Last Active: 2053 days

07-10-13 10:47 PM
SacredShadow is Offline
Link
| ID: 842047 | 103 Words

SacredShadow
Razor-987
Level: 152


POSTS: 1652/7753
POST EXP: 960743
LVL EXP: 43779580
CP: 34604.9
VIZ: 985840

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
I was a little surprised by the ending, I wasn't expecting it. But this is a really great poem, you had really good poetic elements, and I think that it is a nice extra when you can make rhyme possible in your poem, it is a nice little extra bonus that i think makes the poem even better. You made it dark and dreary and I think that is cool because not all poems or life in general is rainbows and butterflies. So very good job with this, this is amazing, keep it up and keep on writing! This was a great read!
I was a little surprised by the ending, I wasn't expecting it. But this is a really great poem, you had really good poetic elements, and I think that it is a nice extra when you can make rhyme possible in your poem, it is a nice little extra bonus that i think makes the poem even better. You made it dark and dreary and I think that is cool because not all poems or life in general is rainbows and butterflies. So very good job with this, this is amazing, keep it up and keep on writing! This was a great read!
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-14-13
Last Post: 397 days
Last Active: 364 days

07-11-13 05:15 PM
generalspleen is Offline
Link
| ID: 842713 | 117 Words

generalspleen
Level: 33


POSTS: 139/233
POST EXP: 29887
LVL EXP: 227886
CP: 1634.2
VIZ: 74022

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
mohammedroxx3 : I guess my summons didn't work lol. I'm still trying to figure what you were trying to say in your post about my poem. I've been trying to figure it out but can't. Please help? Thank you
Eirinn: Thank you very much!!! Haha yeah it has been awhile hasn't it? I posted one a little earlier today and plan on posting another one either tomorrow or this weekend so you can look forward to those lol.
Razor-987: Haha yeah I wasn't really expecting the ending myself to be honest. It was the best choice that rhymed I guess. And thanks for the input. I really appreciate it
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
mohammedroxx3 : I guess my summons didn't work lol. I'm still trying to figure what you were trying to say in your post about my poem. I've been trying to figure it out but can't. Please help? Thank you
Eirinn: Thank you very much!!! Haha yeah it has been awhile hasn't it? I posted one a little earlier today and plan on posting another one either tomorrow or this weekend so you can look forward to those lol.
Razor-987: Haha yeah I wasn't really expecting the ending myself to be honest. It was the best choice that rhymed I guess. And thanks for the input. I really appreciate it
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-21-13
Location: Florida
Last Post: 2699 days
Last Active: 1278 days

07-11-13 05:22 PM
Mohammedroxx3 is Offline
Link
| ID: 842715 | 38 Words

Mohammedroxx3
mohammedroxx3
Level: 123


POSTS: 983/4716
POST EXP: 427341
LVL EXP: 20647922
CP: 37419.3
VIZ: 1465204

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
generalspleen : I meant that you described the person in your poem. Plus it had great rhythm and it's very interesting to read.

Great job man, keep up the good work with your poems!  

Eirinn :

Razor-987 :

Summon failed.
generalspleen : I meant that you described the person in your poem. Plus it had great rhythm and it's very interesting to read.

Great job man, keep up the good work with your poems!  

Eirinn :

Razor-987 :

Summon failed.
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-03-13
Location: Earth?
Last Post: 1114 days
Last Active: 1002 days

07-11-13 05:36 PM
generalspleen is Offline
Link
| ID: 842722 | 62 Words

generalspleen
Level: 33


POSTS: 140/233
POST EXP: 29887
LVL EXP: 227886
CP: 1634.2
VIZ: 74022

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
mohammedroxx3 : Thank you for summoning them. I can't summon properly like I used to on my phone I guess. And thank you for explaining what you meant. And I also made a new poem if you want to check it out. It's called scars. Let me know what you think of it. 
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
mohammedroxx3 : Thank you for summoning them. I can't summon properly like I used to on my phone I guess. And thank you for explaining what you meant. And I also made a new poem if you want to check it out. It's called scars. Let me know what you think of it. 
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-21-13
Location: Florida
Last Post: 2699 days
Last Active: 1278 days

07-11-13 07:45 PM
SacredShadow is Offline
Link
| ID: 842882 | 67 Words

SacredShadow
Razor-987
Level: 152


POSTS: 1676/7753
POST EXP: 960743
LVL EXP: 43779580
CP: 34604.9
VIZ: 985840

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
No problem man, it was really awesome and I feel the need to recognize good work and put it out there, your poem had all of the essential poetic elements and I think you tied it all in very nicely and you made a very nice awesome poem. It is absolutely no problem by recognizing your talent for writing. Keep up the awesome work and keep writing!
No problem man, it was really awesome and I feel the need to recognize good work and put it out there, your poem had all of the essential poetic elements and I think you tied it all in very nicely and you made a very nice awesome poem. It is absolutely no problem by recognizing your talent for writing. Keep up the awesome work and keep writing!
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-14-13
Last Post: 397 days
Last Active: 364 days

Links

Page Comments


This page has no comments

Adblocker detected!

Vizzed.com is very expensive to keep alive! The Ads pay for the servers.

Vizzed has 3 TB worth of games and 1 TB worth of music.  This site is free to use but the ads barely pay for the monthly server fees.  If too many more people use ad block, the site cannot survive.

We prioritize the community over the site profits.  This is why we avoid using annoying (but high paying) ads like most other sites which include popups, obnoxious sounds and animations, malware, and other forms of intrusiveness.  We'll do our part to never resort to these types of ads, please do your part by helping support this site by adding Vizzed.com to your ad blocking whitelist.

×