Razor-987 : Yay! I was in the special summons list!

I got to admit! This was a pretty good story! This actually sort of hit my heart when I read the last paragraph. Awesome job and keep up the great work my friend!

Your summon for Dean2k13 failed so I'll summon him for you:

Dean2k13 :

Anyways keep up the great work my friend!

Great story dude. I love it. You had great talent in writing when you were in 6th grade .

Razor-987 : Being who I am, I don't see any form of life as being any more important than the other. I've always treated my fellow man with just as much respect as I would anything else; just because they are human, does not mean that I am obligated to put them first and foremost. It is one thing to hunt and eat for survival, but it is totally different when you are doing it just for the sheer pleasure or because you like to eat living things. I consider people who take life without valid reasoning to be murderers, no matter how big or small that life may be. Some may call me extreme, but I don't see a difference in hunting a deer or a human being; what makes us so special? Therefore, I have a fond respect for everything, human or cricket, it is all the same to me.


When I first started reading, I thought for sure this was going to be a story about hunting, and how it felt to make your first kill. But as I read, and realized that it was actually a recollection of an important life lesson, I was immediately drawn in. The visual detail was great, and it only helped to add interest where I already had a personal connection with the story. I don't know if you realize it or not, but I think that you taught your dad something that day, too.

Now, for the unbiased part of my opinion. You missed adding quotations to a few areas of dialogue, and those areas should always be separate from the main paragraph. Unless they are unspoken personal thoughts, dialogue almost always has its own line separate from the rest of the structure. That's really my only complaint; thanks for sharing this with us.

For a writing done in the 6th grade, excellent job far better than anything I could produce.Sentence structure is good fair quality and the story flows nicely in a orderly fashion with very good descriptive details.

Thank you guys for all of the amazing comments on my story, I tried to make this story as good as possible and I recently made this story at a higher level but for the most part it is pretty much the same as it was when I first wrote it in sixth grade. I an glad you all like it and I hope I can make other good stories in this forum in the future.



GuardianZack : Exactly, humans are no more valuable or special than any other living thing out there and they deserve just as much respect and everything should be treated equally. I agree with you 100% And yes those quotations were personal thoughts and this was a story I wrote, this isn't an experience I had, I made this up. But I am glad that you like it. I appreciate your feedback, it means a lot coming from you.

I felt alot of suspense when I read that I guess it was the pauses every now and then throughout the whole story.
Great job overall I expect the same in the future.

Great job! You put in all of the elements a good story needs, like plenty of suspense so people would keep reading. Great job!
PS : Thanks for putting me on your Special Summons! I enjoyed reading!

This is a pretty good story dude! Considering that you were in sixth grade, you had quite a massive vocabulary. I was on my toes the entire time and it was a good story. Keep it up dude!

If I may put in here, I have to say that this was one of those rare stories that when I fifnished it, I was glad that I had read it. You have great talent, and this was an excellent story. And while I value human life above all other forms (only to the point that I would kill an animal in order to save a human), I do agree that nothing should ever be killed for sport. I won't even eat a piece of meat from a store. Lol And in this story, we are taught some very important lessons on life and what it really means to be a man.
Thank you very much for sharing this. I mean that.