Now on to the main target of my rage. If you took all the things that made the genesis and game boy versions bad, Put them together, multiplied the results by 10, and threw it in a pool of toxic waste, out would come the NES version.
Dr. Killemoff Kidnaps the toxic crusaders except Toxie himself. That's the plot. Just as thin as the metroid storyline. Why not kill of the crusaders? Heck, Killemoff Is "Kill em off" without the spaces! And didn't he hate the toxic crusaders?
Gameplay and Control. There's just six levels, but as you would expect, they're super hard. The B button is so weak it's pathetic. You wanna know what fires off your stronger attack? The select button! There IS a time you will be using B: before you find out about select. There is no other game that does that! Because of this, if you're using a controller unlike me, You have to hop your thumb from A to select.
You might accidentally hit start because of how dang close the thing is! Also, toxic waste kills you. The toxic waste also goes diagonally, like you have to be at the exact spot in order to not get hit in between the two lines of toxic waste. There's also this mop that you lose after being hit just once, And since this is a beat-em up, You'l be keeping the mop for just one second.
You start the game, whoosh, there goes the mop. It's not like it's important either. The mop is just another basic, short-ranged weapon. It's not like in most zelda games where you have this SWORD LIGHTNING BEAM OF DEATH that shoots as far as the edge of the screen or until is hits an enemy or wall, but only works if you have full health. The music, however, is the best part about this entire stinking game. It's just as good as the genesis and game boy versions' musics combined. But this game is too hard for all the wrong reasons!
Final verdict, this stinky game gets a 0.5 out of ten! The only reason you should ever play the game in the first place is out of curiosity! So now you know how you go from awesome to a pile of do-do. It's like golden egg rolling down a do-do mountain geting more and more dirty. Once it gets to the bottom, it's hard to look at anymore without thinking "Gross!". And Lloyd Kaufman even has his own name on it! I'd rather have a fire skunk spray it's fiery skunk spay all over me!
Now that I've finally cleaned my hand of all this filth, my next review will be of Firepower 2000 on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. This will be super awesome (Cue facepalm right there). and after that, Dinocity on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System!
Now on to the main target of my rage. If you took all the things that made the genesis and game boy versions bad, Put them together, multiplied the results by 10, and threw it in a pool of toxic waste, out would come the NES version.
Dr. Killemoff Kidnaps the toxic crusaders except Toxie himself. That's the plot. Just as thin as the metroid storyline. Why not kill of the crusaders? Heck, Killemoff Is "Kill em off" without the spaces! And didn't he hate the toxic crusaders?
Gameplay and Control. There's just six levels, but as you would expect, they're super hard. The B button is so weak it's pathetic. You wanna know what fires off your stronger attack? The select button! There IS a time you will be using B: before you find out about select. There is no other game that does that! Because of this, if you're using a controller unlike me, You have to hop your thumb from A to select.
You might accidentally hit start because of how dang close the thing is! Also, toxic waste kills you. The toxic waste also goes diagonally, like you have to be at the exact spot in order to not get hit in between the two lines of toxic waste. There's also this mop that you lose after being hit just once, And since this is a beat-em up, You'l be keeping the mop for just one second.
You start the game, whoosh, there goes the mop. It's not like it's important either. The mop is just another basic, short-ranged weapon. It's not like in most zelda games where you have this SWORD LIGHTNING BEAM OF DEATH that shoots as far as the edge of the screen or until is hits an enemy or wall, but only works if you have full health. The music, however, is the best part about this entire stinking game. It's just as good as the genesis and game boy versions' musics combined. But this game is too hard for all the wrong reasons!
Final verdict, this stinky game gets a 0.5 out of ten! The only reason you should ever play the game in the first place is out of curiosity! So now you know how you go from awesome to a pile of do-do. It's like golden egg rolling down a do-do mountain geting more and more dirty. Once it gets to the bottom, it's hard to look at anymore without thinking "Gross!". And Lloyd Kaufman even has his own name on it! I'd rather have a fire skunk spray it's fiery skunk spay all over me!
Now that I've finally cleaned my hand of all this filth, my next review will be of Firepower 2000 on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. This will be super awesome (Cue facepalm right there). and after that, Dinocity on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System!
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