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04-22-13 07:04 PM
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Number 67
04-22-13 07:04 PM
Barathemos is Offline
| ID: 784932 | 1381 Words
| ID: 784932 | 1381 Words
Barathemos
Level: 205
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CP: 46524.6
VIZ: 889961
POSTS: 1451/15634
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VIZ: 889961
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Number 67
By Barathemos Part 1 This is a translation from the original written in Comohacamehe It was just another nice day on the planet of Comoheha and everyone was outside playing the sport they called Cahamecia, a cross between golf, and rugby. The game is a game where someone hits a tiny, leather ball into a crowd using a kind of golf club, long and skinny using a solid foundation in order to get the ball to go farther. After that, the mod of “people” would run toward the “person” who had the ball and try to tackle the person who had the ball before they could throw it into the goal, there were four teams so there were four goals. A team consists of one ball hitter, the ball hitters would switch out between goals depending on who got the point, and 10 other members who are in the mob, the ball hitter joins the group after hitting the ball. The team who gets the ball into the goal will get 2 points, you must pass the ball to at least 5 different players and not get tackled in order to get the points, if this is violated, the points will be taken away. The game was going fine until some strange ship appeared. It was a very long and blue ship that was also flat with these weird black panels on top. Everyone stared as nothing happened, suddenly the small hatch on the side of the ship was opened by a strange being that was normal height, a bit shorter and skinnier, but looked frightening to the native people. There were about 15 of them that came out of the ship, medium size but big and stocky. They were a weird color, sort of a black and white, not the normal green and purple natives of the planet were. Everyone got out a Kahecamia, a flaming comet with super exaturnishment. I could tell that the strange beings were scared by our weapons, the same ones that were used to defeat the country of Hadesecor. Our country of Lakivia was once owned by the Hadescor people. As the unknown people came closer they yelled at us “We come in peace!” We did not know what it meant so we had to translate it in our book of the universe wonders. Our language is different from the other peoples of the planet, which is so no one knows what we are planning to. “Heanv dsor yusnt awhtjs?” one of our men answered. “ rne deu yusnt djnr?” Meaning, “What do you want?” “Why are you here?” “We heard that there was life here that we could come and find out about and then transfer the info back to our home planet” One of them answered. “dhbv sdhjb rgn ntrh ru yusnt rppoi?” one of our leaders answered. “Meaning what kind of info do you want?” “We want to know how you live here and what you do.” One of them said seeming like we were stupid. “wnjh kbgig portgbnuj finwi!” One of the onlookers of our game said. “Heanv yusnt nruid wnjh nrudi gmi fgnuji.” Meaning “We live perfectly fine!” What you need we need to know.” “No we want to know HOW you live, like if you need water.” One replied. For a long time it went like this, questions from the natives of the planet and answered. Someone was trying to get to the real info by using a variety of strange questions. One of the questions asked where they were from, when they said Earth, many natives took out the maps of the Universe and found the planet called Earth, said to be the only other planet to have life. Some of the native people started to get antsy with some of the answers were not what they wanted, it sounded like the Earthlings first statement, we come in peace was not exactly correct. By this time the weapons we had drawn had gone out so some people were relighting them like war could break out any moment and they needed to be prepared. The weapons the Earthlings had drawn were frightening the native people and they needed to be prepared. But what the natives did not know was that the Earthlings were more scared by the weapons that they had never seen before and the size of the army of the native people, which was just the people who were at the game, than the natives were scared by the very strong guns. Then 15 Earthlings did not stand a chance against the around 200 people that were either in the game or were watching the game. Everyone on both sides was on their toes, the Earthlings ship was still running like they were leaving. I was standing near the front of the mod so I could hear everything and see everything. I knew that the people in the back could not see what kind of weapons the Earthlings had. I finally came out and asked EXACTLY what there business with us was. For a long time there was silence. Then one of the Earthlings, the one who seemed to be the leader answered my question. “We would like to find out how you live by examining you and by performing some tests.” One of them answered very nonchalantly. Silence. For a long time nothing happened. Everyone just stood there and did not know exactly what to do. Everyone had that feeling going through everyone that something had to be done. Everyone stood there waiting for someone to make a move and take the full wrath for what might happen, but I knew no one would take what might be waiting for us. I was wondering what would happen and if we would just stand there forever without doing anything until someone made a move. “Kamahela!” Someone shouted. That meant charge. All Hell broke loose. Everyone from our planet charged the Earthlings with our special torches. It seems as if the weapons the Earthlings had were rocket launchers, but the effect on us was not too bad with each blow. 15 more of the Earthlings came out of the ship and started to fire at us. We kept being blow back by the blows so someone finally threw there torch at the ship, they shot at it and it exploded with a huge amount of recoil, most of us were tossed back but we kept fighting. Soon more torches were thrown than could be shot down and one landed right next to the Earthlings ship that exploded, destroying the left wing and cabin of the ship, which was taking it too far for the Earthlings. They started to run out into the mob and smacking people with the rocket launchers. “ENOUGH!” A strange voice called out from the sky. Everyone looked up to see the white warrior that was flying in the sky. He has medium golden wings on his back and golden spikes on his elbow, along with a giant and extremely sharp golden sword. He was a bright being that shined in the sunlight, seeing he was something special for us, we always thought that he was just a myth but we say his golden appearance so we knew it was true. He was the only guardian of our sector of around 1 trillion light years. He was number 67 Utoic. This was one of my original stories that came from nothing. I wanted to write something that people could enjoy. Please read this and take into your consideration that I had to write this from scratch please give me some advice but do not rail on me. Remember to be respectful to me with my writing and I will let you know I am not the best writer. Now for some summons of some people who might want to read this. Remember to follow all the rules of vizzed and have fun reading. Look at the language for the native people of my fake planet and look at the translation and you will see that the language follows a set guideline of words. That took me some time to do. Time to summon some people who may care about my story. thenoobtester: iN008: By Barathemos Part 1 This is a translation from the original written in Comohacamehe It was just another nice day on the planet of Comoheha and everyone was outside playing the sport they called Cahamecia, a cross between golf, and rugby. The game is a game where someone hits a tiny, leather ball into a crowd using a kind of golf club, long and skinny using a solid foundation in order to get the ball to go farther. After that, the mod of “people” would run toward the “person” who had the ball and try to tackle the person who had the ball before they could throw it into the goal, there were four teams so there were four goals. A team consists of one ball hitter, the ball hitters would switch out between goals depending on who got the point, and 10 other members who are in the mob, the ball hitter joins the group after hitting the ball. The team who gets the ball into the goal will get 2 points, you must pass the ball to at least 5 different players and not get tackled in order to get the points, if this is violated, the points will be taken away. The game was going fine until some strange ship appeared. It was a very long and blue ship that was also flat with these weird black panels on top. Everyone stared as nothing happened, suddenly the small hatch on the side of the ship was opened by a strange being that was normal height, a bit shorter and skinnier, but looked frightening to the native people. There were about 15 of them that came out of the ship, medium size but big and stocky. They were a weird color, sort of a black and white, not the normal green and purple natives of the planet were. Everyone got out a Kahecamia, a flaming comet with super exaturnishment. I could tell that the strange beings were scared by our weapons, the same ones that were used to defeat the country of Hadesecor. Our country of Lakivia was once owned by the Hadescor people. As the unknown people came closer they yelled at us “We come in peace!” We did not know what it meant so we had to translate it in our book of the universe wonders. Our language is different from the other peoples of the planet, which is so no one knows what we are planning to. “Heanv dsor yusnt awhtjs?” one of our men answered. “ rne deu yusnt djnr?” Meaning, “What do you want?” “Why are you here?” “We heard that there was life here that we could come and find out about and then transfer the info back to our home planet” One of them answered. “dhbv sdhjb rgn ntrh ru yusnt rppoi?” one of our leaders answered. “Meaning what kind of info do you want?” “We want to know how you live here and what you do.” One of them said seeming like we were stupid. “wnjh kbgig portgbnuj finwi!” One of the onlookers of our game said. “Heanv yusnt nruid wnjh nrudi gmi fgnuji.” Meaning “We live perfectly fine!” What you need we need to know.” “No we want to know HOW you live, like if you need water.” One replied. For a long time it went like this, questions from the natives of the planet and answered. Someone was trying to get to the real info by using a variety of strange questions. One of the questions asked where they were from, when they said Earth, many natives took out the maps of the Universe and found the planet called Earth, said to be the only other planet to have life. Some of the native people started to get antsy with some of the answers were not what they wanted, it sounded like the Earthlings first statement, we come in peace was not exactly correct. By this time the weapons we had drawn had gone out so some people were relighting them like war could break out any moment and they needed to be prepared. The weapons the Earthlings had drawn were frightening the native people and they needed to be prepared. But what the natives did not know was that the Earthlings were more scared by the weapons that they had never seen before and the size of the army of the native people, which was just the people who were at the game, than the natives were scared by the very strong guns. Then 15 Earthlings did not stand a chance against the around 200 people that were either in the game or were watching the game. Everyone on both sides was on their toes, the Earthlings ship was still running like they were leaving. I was standing near the front of the mod so I could hear everything and see everything. I knew that the people in the back could not see what kind of weapons the Earthlings had. I finally came out and asked EXACTLY what there business with us was. For a long time there was silence. Then one of the Earthlings, the one who seemed to be the leader answered my question. “We would like to find out how you live by examining you and by performing some tests.” One of them answered very nonchalantly. Silence. For a long time nothing happened. Everyone just stood there and did not know exactly what to do. Everyone had that feeling going through everyone that something had to be done. Everyone stood there waiting for someone to make a move and take the full wrath for what might happen, but I knew no one would take what might be waiting for us. I was wondering what would happen and if we would just stand there forever without doing anything until someone made a move. “Kamahela!” Someone shouted. That meant charge. All Hell broke loose. Everyone from our planet charged the Earthlings with our special torches. It seems as if the weapons the Earthlings had were rocket launchers, but the effect on us was not too bad with each blow. 15 more of the Earthlings came out of the ship and started to fire at us. We kept being blow back by the blows so someone finally threw there torch at the ship, they shot at it and it exploded with a huge amount of recoil, most of us were tossed back but we kept fighting. Soon more torches were thrown than could be shot down and one landed right next to the Earthlings ship that exploded, destroying the left wing and cabin of the ship, which was taking it too far for the Earthlings. They started to run out into the mob and smacking people with the rocket launchers. “ENOUGH!” A strange voice called out from the sky. Everyone looked up to see the white warrior that was flying in the sky. He has medium golden wings on his back and golden spikes on his elbow, along with a giant and extremely sharp golden sword. He was a bright being that shined in the sunlight, seeing he was something special for us, we always thought that he was just a myth but we say his golden appearance so we knew it was true. He was the only guardian of our sector of around 1 trillion light years. He was number 67 Utoic. This was one of my original stories that came from nothing. I wanted to write something that people could enjoy. Please read this and take into your consideration that I had to write this from scratch please give me some advice but do not rail on me. Remember to be respectful to me with my writing and I will let you know I am not the best writer. Now for some summons of some people who might want to read this. Remember to follow all the rules of vizzed and have fun reading. Look at the language for the native people of my fake planet and look at the translation and you will see that the language follows a set guideline of words. That took me some time to do. Time to summon some people who may care about my story. thenoobtester: iN008: |
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(edited by Barathemos on 04-22-13 07:06 PM)
06-16-13 09:09 PM
Mohammedroxx3 is Offline
| ID: 818875 | 27 Words
| ID: 818875 | 27 Words
Mohammedroxx3
mohammedroxx3
mohammedroxx3
Level: 122
POSTS: 452/4716
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LVL EXP: 20593913
CP: 37419.3
VIZ: 1465204
POSTS: 452/4716
POST EXP: 427341
LVL EXP: 20593913
CP: 37419.3
VIZ: 1465204
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Barathemos : Nice story! It was pretty interesting and long! Keep up the great work! Also your summons failed so I'll do it for you: iN008 : thenoobtester : Also your summons failed so I'll do it for you: iN008 : thenoobtester : |
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06-16-13 09:12 PM
Barathemos is Offline
| ID: 818878 | 67 Words
| ID: 818878 | 67 Words
Barathemos
Level: 205
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CP: 46524.6
VIZ: 889961
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VIZ: 889961
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mohammedroxx3 : I was wishing someone could come along and do it for me! It annoyed me how I spend so much time writing it and no one even read it. Thanks for the complement! I am working on some new ones right now but I have so much going on. I will get to it some time. I am trying to make a chapter 2 for this. |
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06-16-13 09:20 PM
linkmaster99 is Offline
| ID: 818885 | 54 Words
| ID: 818885 | 54 Words
linkmaster99
Level: 55
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POSTS: 170/732
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Barathemos : This was a great story. It was nice long, and very interesting. I really enjoyed reading it. I really like the part where they said ” One of them said seeming like we were stupid. That seemed hilarious to me. Good luck I look forward to reading part 2 of it great job. |
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I linkmaster99 is vizzed NO.1 zelda fan |
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06-16-13 11:33 PM
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| ID: 818979 | 37 Words
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I found that to be very descr |
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06-17-13 03:26 PM
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| ID: 819394 | 140 Words
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This is a really great story, it is lengthy and detailed, just like all good stories are! I liked it a lot, the story was awesome and I look forward to seeing part 2 of your story. It is very interesting and creative, I liked the language of the natives and I thought it was really creative. You really did a great job of painting a picture of what the setup and the characters, the ship and the strange beings as well. I think you have great skills in your word choice and how you use them to describe things in your story and create an image of something as well. Awesome work and I think that this story is unique and very interesting to read as well. Keep up the awesome work and I can't wait for part 2! |
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