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04-19-24 01:10 AM

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Pain
Another original poem by yours truely :)
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generalspleen
03-22-13 10:39 PM
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generalspleen
07-08-13 09:34 PM
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Pain

 

03-22-13 10:39 PM
generalspleen is Offline
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| ID: 761435 | 332 Words

generalspleen
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Hey guys. I'm back with another poem for you guys to read. I have been severely depressed since last Wednesday and from that depression I created this poem. It's somewhat dark but I hope you guys like it. Leave your comments and let me know what you guys think. I love hearing what people have to say about my work. And remember... If you want to hear more stuff from me let me know so I can keep giving you guys what you want Anyways here it is. It is called pain:

I'm done with this so called life I live.
The nightmares I have I never want to relive.
The ones I have hurt will never forgive,
The pain and suffering That I will give.

The walls around me are like a burial tomb.
Why am I trapped in this darkened cocoon.
Shrouded by this poisonous and ghastly perfume.
while being hung to die in someone's storeroom.

You all know in my circle the devil is steady making rounds.
I keep running and running away from my home town.
All of this hurt is weighing me down.
And it seems like nothing I do can turn my life around.

But I don't need your pity. Just pray for me.
Pray that all this pain would be lifted from me.
Only time will tell if you will stand here with me.
But for now I must leave. So stay away from me.

I hope you all enjoyed my poem. Please let me know what you all think. And if you could possibly spread my work around to everyone you know that would be most appreciated. I want people to know what I do and hopefully end up inspiring someone through my work. That is my goal. That's all for now. Keep an eye out for more of my work which will probably be coming real soon. This is generalspleen signing off.


Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Hey guys. I'm back with another poem for you guys to read. I have been severely depressed since last Wednesday and from that depression I created this poem. It's somewhat dark but I hope you guys like it. Leave your comments and let me know what you guys think. I love hearing what people have to say about my work. And remember... If you want to hear more stuff from me let me know so I can keep giving you guys what you want Anyways here it is. It is called pain:

I'm done with this so called life I live.
The nightmares I have I never want to relive.
The ones I have hurt will never forgive,
The pain and suffering That I will give.

The walls around me are like a burial tomb.
Why am I trapped in this darkened cocoon.
Shrouded by this poisonous and ghastly perfume.
while being hung to die in someone's storeroom.

You all know in my circle the devil is steady making rounds.
I keep running and running away from my home town.
All of this hurt is weighing me down.
And it seems like nothing I do can turn my life around.

But I don't need your pity. Just pray for me.
Pray that all this pain would be lifted from me.
Only time will tell if you will stand here with me.
But for now I must leave. So stay away from me.

I hope you all enjoyed my poem. Please let me know what you all think. And if you could possibly spread my work around to everyone you know that would be most appreciated. I want people to know what I do and hopefully end up inspiring someone through my work. That is my goal. That's all for now. Keep an eye out for more of my work which will probably be coming real soon. This is generalspleen signing off.


Thank you very much and have a blessed day
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07-02-13 05:34 PM
Eniitan is Offline
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I enjoyed this well done general
I enjoyed this well done general
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07-02-13 05:45 PM
generalspleen is Offline
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generalspleen
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Eniitan : thank you very much Eni ^^ it means a lot
Eniitan : thank you very much Eni ^^ it means a lot
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the god of cop chases


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07-02-13 11:54 PM
Batcake is Offline
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Nice poem.. And yes, I pray for you very much.
Nice poem.. And yes, I pray for you very much.
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07-02-13 11:55 PM
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Wow! This is great! I like your rhyme in this poem, this is reallt good and you are talented at making poems. I wish I could write this well! This is an excellent poem. Keep it up and keep making more poems, this is a masterpiece! Nice work! Keep writing!
Wow! This is great! I like your rhyme in this poem, this is reallt good and you are talented at making poems. I wish I could write this well! This is an excellent poem. Keep it up and keep making more poems, this is a masterpiece! Nice work! Keep writing!
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07-03-13 08:31 AM
generalspleen is Offline
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generalspleen
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Black Bot : thank you. And thank you for praying 4 me... I really need it
Razor-987: thanks man. I honestly didn't think this one was that good. So thank you
Black Bot : thank you. And thank you for praying 4 me... I really need it
Razor-987: thanks man. I honestly didn't think this one was that good. So thank you
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


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07-08-13 11:06 AM
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Very emotional and well thought poem.
It shows the skill of art and it shows that lots of people have talent.
You probably make the one of the best poems on vizzed.
Very emotional and well thought poem.
It shows the skill of art and it shows that lots of people have talent.
You probably make the one of the best poems on vizzed.
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07-08-13 11:26 AM
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Great poem man! Well done. I really felt that poem touching my heart in such a clever manner! You have just shown vizzed that you have lots of talent within you!

Keep these great poems coming man!
Great poem man! Well done. I really felt that poem touching my heart in such a clever manner! You have just shown vizzed that you have lots of talent within you!

Keep these great poems coming man!
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07-08-13 09:34 PM
generalspleen is Offline
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generalspleen
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GamingMonkey : thank you very much for your input. It means a lot. I actually blushed after I read your post. Do you really think this is one of the best poems on vizzed??? I'm pretty sure there are way better ones then mine. But if you liked this then go onto my profile and go look at the threads I made involving poems. You might like them too
Mohammedroxx3: I'm glad I was able to tough your heart with my poems in any manner... As long as its not in a bad manner Lol. I don't think I honestly have talent for this. It started out with me writing a few raps a year plus ago and people said it sounded better as a poem so I stuck with that. But if you want to read more do what u suggested to gaming monkey. I have more poems if your interested. And I will keep them coming ^^ I was gonna post one about two weeks ago but I somehow deleted some of it when I was trying to copy and paste it off of my phone. I've been trying to fix is as quickly as possible but I've just been so busy lately. Maybe I can attempt to fix it later tonight. ^^
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
GamingMonkey : thank you very much for your input. It means a lot. I actually blushed after I read your post. Do you really think this is one of the best poems on vizzed??? I'm pretty sure there are way better ones then mine. But if you liked this then go onto my profile and go look at the threads I made involving poems. You might like them too
Mohammedroxx3: I'm glad I was able to tough your heart with my poems in any manner... As long as its not in a bad manner Lol. I don't think I honestly have talent for this. It started out with me writing a few raps a year plus ago and people said it sounded better as a poem so I stuck with that. But if you want to read more do what u suggested to gaming monkey. I have more poems if your interested. And I will keep them coming ^^ I was gonna post one about two weeks ago but I somehow deleted some of it when I was trying to copy and paste it off of my phone. I've been trying to fix is as quickly as possible but I've just been so busy lately. Maybe I can attempt to fix it later tonight. ^^
Thank you very much and have a blessed day
Trusted Member
the god of cop chases


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-21-13
Location: Florida
Last Post: 2699 days
Last Active: 1278 days

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