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FFFighterDill
12-13-11 03:47 PM
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YourMajestyKen
12-14-11 04:03 PM
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those red eyes

 

12-13-11 03:47 PM
FFFighterDill is Offline
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FFFighterDill
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One day  as I was walking though a forest  peaceful, quite relaxing. Caterpies running and having fun till I noticed a darkerand deeper place in the forest lots and lots of Pokémon were fainted. So my curiosity took over  me and I started walk into the darker part  it was going smoothly until a pair of red bloody eyes started to stare at me , at my soul then it started to run at me after that I tried to run out of the forest seemed like forever 4, 8,20 minutes till .... I tripped I got back up but I turned around and the last thing I ever saw was those pair of red eyes forming into .....mewtwo that was the last thing I saw until I died .........








ok people this was a tiny story I made up it was based on YourMajestyKens layout hope you guys like it . 

EDIT: added tiny little more details but not much
One day  as I was walking though a forest  peaceful, quite relaxing. Caterpies running and having fun till I noticed a darkerand deeper place in the forest lots and lots of Pokémon were fainted. So my curiosity took over  me and I started walk into the darker part  it was going smoothly until a pair of red bloody eyes started to stare at me , at my soul then it started to run at me after that I tried to run out of the forest seemed like forever 4, 8,20 minutes till .... I tripped I got back up but I turned around and the last thing I ever saw was those pair of red eyes forming into .....mewtwo that was the last thing I saw until I died .........








ok people this was a tiny story I made up it was based on YourMajestyKens layout hope you guys like it . 

EDIT: added tiny little more details but not much
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(edited by FFFighterDill on 12-13-11 04:00 PM)    

12-13-11 03:55 PM
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Yes, I was going to say..it reminds me of my old layout.

The story is mediocre, not good nor bad. Try to make it more descriptive and detailed (if you wish.)

I like the idea of walking through a dark forest of Pokemon though and suddenly seeing Mewtwos scary red eyes! I could imagine how frightening that might have been if you were really chased.
Yes, I was going to say..it reminds me of my old layout.

The story is mediocre, not good nor bad. Try to make it more descriptive and detailed (if you wish.)

I like the idea of walking through a dark forest of Pokemon though and suddenly seeing Mewtwos scary red eyes! I could imagine how frightening that might have been if you were really chased.
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12-13-11 04:02 PM
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Interesting?

About halfway through I still had little to know idea what you were talking about.

You may want to be clearer if you do more with it, but otherwise i'd say it was a success.
Interesting?

About halfway through I still had little to know idea what you were talking about.

You may want to be clearer if you do more with it, but otherwise i'd say it was a success.
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12-13-11 11:34 PM
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I'm guessing that this story was just made as a joke? Because in all honesty, it didn't really seem like you tried on it... If you were really serious about it, there are a lot of things you can expand on here.

Local Mods : This seems like it'd fit better in the Stories forum, wouldn't it?
I'm guessing that this story was just made as a joke? Because in all honesty, it didn't really seem like you tried on it... If you were really serious about it, there are a lot of things you can expand on here.

Local Mods : This seems like it'd fit better in the Stories forum, wouldn't it?
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12-13-11 11:38 PM
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So are you planning on making more stories on this thread, or is this going to be the only one. If you want the posts to keep coming, I suggest you give us more. Kind of interesting idea to make a story based on a layout.
So are you planning on making more stories on this thread, or is this going to be the only one. If you want the posts to keep coming, I suggest you give us more. Kind of interesting idea to make a story based on a layout.
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12-14-11 03:44 PM
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Yeah, this looks like it fits in the stories forum.
Yeah, this looks like it fits in the stories forum.
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12-14-11 03:48 PM
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Someone70 :   im sorry this was my first ever story so it was not my best besides i really not a story writing type unless i got certain rules to do so
Someone70 :   im sorry this was my first ever story so it was not my best besides i really not a story writing type unless i got certain rules to do so
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12-14-11 04:03 PM
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Do you plan on editing the story and making it longer?
Do you plan on editing the story and making it longer?
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