So i like this girl but every time i am around her i get butterflies and i'm just not myself. I want to tell her how much i like her but i don't know if it will ruin anything. What should I do?

Take a deep breath; that normally helps, lol. Do you text her? If so start the conversation over text, that way you can clearly think out what you want to say and still there for five minutes with your finger over the send button scared as hell as to what the person you like is going to think/say(sorry speaking from personal experience). Whenever I'm nervous and really want to do something but am too scared I always tell myself that life is full of risks and some are worth taking. Even if she turns you down, later on you'll be glad you at least tried instead of not trying and wondering for the rest of your life what could have happened. I know you're nervous, but don't let your fear hold you back. I hope that helped.

Personally I would say write it as a letter rather than a text, at least at first. That way you can get everything out and better plan what you want to say before you say anything. If you really are nervous, you could perfect the letter and just give it to her.

Might I ask why you fear it would ruin something?

I say tell her (because I don't know the full situation). If you fail, at least you tried.... I think life is about taking risks.

JUNGLExMAN : Ahh memories… This happens to just about everyone it’s totally normal to have butterflies when you like someone. Anyone who claims to have never danced in those shoes is frankly a liar. I’ve been there it’s not easy but there is also a lot of over thinking involved.

Like you said you have worries about ruining any friendship you have with this girl. It is often best to just come right out and say what’s on your mind. You may find that this girl may feel the same way about you as you do about her.

It is not out of the realm of possibility… No matter what anyone thinks we’re all human and women have the same feelings as men do when it comes to crushes and or legitimate feelings. As I said we’ve all been there at one time or another.

In your position I would as I said come right out and say what’s on your mind. You have nothing to lose and at least by saying how you feel you won't wonder what if?. As a writer I do agree with Elara when I say that if you have trouble speaking due to nerves it may be better to put it down on paper. Often words can come out better on paper than they would be spoken because nerves can make the words seem jumbled and, it may make you seem like you’re not making much sense.

It is also good to be a good listener in any conversations you may have with this girl. Make her the focal point of the conversation… If you listen intently to what she has to say and respond to her with direct precise answers and show that you are a good listener it can go a long way toward breaking the ice. It is also good to focus on mutual interests you may share with her in any conversations.

For now though I would put it all down on paper and see where it goes. You have nothing to lose and, like I said you may find that she may share the same feelings as you do but is just as shy as you in terms of letting you know how she feels.

Best of luck to you.

Thank You all for your advice i'm going to try it soon. Wish me luck!

JUNGLExMAN : Best of luck. Try not to worry like I said you have nothing to lose.

Ok since I have way too much experience in the field of women and I used to be like this I can tell you one thing: Put on a persona that is you.

Act like yourself but act like yourself without the butterflies. I would also recommend talking to her and becoming close friends then saying. "Hey I really like you, like more than friends." Look her in the eye though and do not smile unless she does.

bvd1022 : I wanna say thank you for giving me support. And i am going to do it Saturday night that is when i am going to see her again.

JUNGLExMAN : From my PS3: You're more than welcome... Like I said I've been there. It's a part of life especially as a youngster. Unfortunately for me I made some choices in my youth that I sincerely wish I could have a redo with. I've been single for years and although you only have to worry about yourself that is really the only benefit if you could call it that. If I had a choice I would much rather have someone to share life with if I could. I am a writer and although I keep quite busy with a self imposed schedule I won't lie when I say it can be a lonely existence at times and the things that come with the territory of being a journalist whether it is the work load itself, disagreements and or dislike with the people you work for and readers or, feeling that you're not being paid adequately; it does have it's share of frustrations. So in that aspect it would be nice to have someone to share the highs lows and sideways of life with. Of course I like everyone else would like the happiness that one would strive for in a healthy relationship as well. Everyone deserves that at some point in life but, it is the ones that have it but choose to take it for granted that I worry about.


It hasn't happened for me yet but the point I was trying to confey to you is you don't want to be sitting back years from now when hopefully a sense of wisdom that can only come from life experience has kicked in, where you wonder what if? Unfortunately "What if?" is a question that I ask myself from time to time and not just with regard to relationships. Let me know how it goes. I'm rooting for you.



Best of luck to you.

bvd1022 : So i did what you said and it turns out she feels the same way as me so now we are talking thanks a lot i really appreciate it.

ahh, nice to see this problem is solved.

geeogree : close this, before the spammers get their hands on it.

uh, sure can!

Not sure what spammers you are referring to though