Here's a place to post your favorite Chuck Norris jokes. Just make sure to keep 'em clean and have fun.

Here's one I made up:
A chemist was feeling depressed. His wife had left him recently, he had lost his grant, and he was living out on the streets. Out of desperation, he decided to commit suicide, but was afraid to do the job. He asked his friend, also a chemist, to mix him up a bottle of Cyanide, known for its chemical abbreviation CN. So his friend mixed up a bottle of CN, and as soon as he put the bottle to his lips, a guy comes out of nowhere and delivers an instant roundhouse kick to his face. 3 weeks later, he wakes up in the hospital and asks his friend, "What happened?" His friend responded, "What I gave you wasn't a bottle of cyanide. It was a high-dose bottle of Chuck Norris!" Needless to say, he never tried suicide again.

Here are a couple:

The Big Bang began when Chuck Norris sneezed.
Kids check under their bed for the Boogeyman. The Boogeyman checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck be nimble, Chuck be quick, you can't dodge a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Their is no "Ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's keyboard. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Dinosaurs were extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaur.
Chuck Norris can tastes lies.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.

The dark is afraid of chuck norris.

Chuck norris' mom had a tattoo that says Chuck.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in FUNeral.
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet; wet gets chuck norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a nightlight not because he is afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of him.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
The saying "you never know" is only true if you aren't Chuck Norris.
Earth was originally the first planet in the solar system, but Chuck Norris broke a sweat, so it is now the third.
Giraffes did not exist........until Chuck Norris upper-cutted a horse.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep...He waits...
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
I've got hundreds of these and could keep going so I'll just stop now if any of wants me to post some more just reply to this post asking for me to post more jokes.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down.

Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks.

Behind Chuck Norris' beard in not a chin, but yet another fist.

The reason Chuck Norris doesn't take pictures of himself is because the camera is afraid of him.

Chuck Norris once kicked a dodo bird so hard that he killed the entire species.

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.

I have more, but I'll save them for later

I think this belongs more in crazy house.

-moved to Crazy House-

Sorry, but there's already one of these threads here.

https://www.vizzed.com/vizzedboard/thread.php?id=3202

I'm going to close this.