So I had to ask several people where to post this, and this seems to be the best place, since it deals with school to an extent.

I'm writing an essay for school, and since I kind of like the outcome of it, I wanted to share. At the same time, I had an idea that maybe I'll get help too. I want this to be great, so I'll be really happy if anyone can point out mistakes I made so I can fix my essay.

Also, pointing out now, the maximum amount of words in my essay is 650. I can not go beyond that. Otherwise, I'd add so much more details and information. 

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My feelings were growing more unhappy and dissatisfied. The ocean waves became more violent as I continue to stay with him.

I know how annoying he can be, but I stay with him regardless, with lingering hope that everything will be okay. Maybe it was because I really like him, or maybe because he succeeded in making me smile. After all, he seemed nice. That was enough for me to stay with him. However, the ocean waves were beyond violent at this point. It was no longer the calm ocean it used to be.

Those waves became even more violent when that boy’s demands became too much. In a moment of hopelessness, I had enough. I couldn’t do anything for him without feeling any satisfaction. For months, anything I ever did wrong by pure accident, he would snap at me as if I was a criminal. Then, if anyone else did those same errors with intentional malice, he would just laugh it off as if it was perfectly okay. At the same time, the fact that I even had feelings for him was treated as a crime, as if I have done a horrendous deed. It became tiring. I just had to end this so called friendship with him.

The ocean soothed down a bit. Everything would be okay, or so I believed. It seemed he was willing to end things, as he told me to my face he didn’t want to hurt me anymore. A month passes by, and I learn the truth. All he cared about was my feelings for him, and he always interpreted my love for him as psychotic and creepy, no matter how far I went to support his every need. The ocean waves were crashing again.

It didn’t matter what I did. I was always feeling lost, and that continued the harsh waves of the ocean. My passion in life slowly passed away. All I could do was seek love from the remaining friends I have. With that, I told my best friend everything that happened, from my first meeting with that boy, to our everlasting friendship, to the cruelty I received, and finally, to the bitter truth that he didn’t care about how I felt, or how his cold attitude affected me in a negative fashion.

Suddenly, a violent wave came. When I was out ill for several days, I seeked help from him, and I was met with a cold shoulder. I questioned his attitude towards me. I had thought it would be better as we didn’t talk to each other for a month, but I was wrong. He told me that because I was such a “horrible person,” I deserve absolutely no respect from him. If I recalled correctly, all I ever did was like him, but hey, I guess it means I’m creepy and obsessed if all I have done was felt wonderful feelings towards him.

What was I thinking? How could I love such a person? Even more, did I give up on love? No. I didn’t give up. With sincere hope that I’ll find a better person, the ocean waves were finally calming down. Of course, there were a few crashes, thanks to that boy telling his friends I have done things I clearly never did. Thankfully, as time went on, that boy didn’t matter anymore.

I realized I have everything I need. I have my friends that love me and support me. They tell me how wonderful and strong I am. My skills and strengths were acknowledged. I was rewarded for loyalty. I don’t need people like him to bring me down. I don’t need people like him to ruin the peace of my ocean.

So, I fell in love again, and the ocean was calm. This time, he was caring and wonderful, and he treats me with respect. There were no violent waves.

That's a decent piece of writing right there. I have some observations.

1. Don't worry about where you post things. Post them where you think they belong. In about 30 seconds, everyone and their grandmother will tell you where the post really belongs and they'll all summon a mod to come make the change. I don't even try to categorize because the rule-lovers will fix it if it's wrong.

2. Your final draft should be your first draft - 10% or so. An easy way is to take out adjectives. If you have to use an adjective, maybe try another word. One example is the imagery of the waves. Instead of violent waves, just use 'waves.' The ocean is flat when things work. "Suddenly, a violent wave came."

That's not bad.

"A wave crashed." Use that as the first part of a new paragraph and you can feel the change in tone and pacing. Little waves don't crash. Even medium waves don't crash. BIG waves crash.

"The ocean waves were finally calming down again." Try to make the sentences shorter. Clip them to draw attention to them. "The ocean calmed," is a good one. Look at the sentences and see if there are other ways to give us the image. A good rule is, "Don't tell us it's night time. Show us the moon shining through the window."

Lastly, you have commas littered all over the work. You don't need that many. I know you're writing how you speak but try to take out 30% of those commas to free up the pacing and speed. Our eyes will pick out where to pause. We don't need commas to tell us. Less grammar = Better prose.

It's good. You don't need much to polish it for a final draft.

Good work.