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In Pain!

 

03-29-16 12:11 AM
Jygin is Offline
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Jygin
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I'm deeply in pain me and my mom just had a nasty fight and it was over some BS I didn't even do ... what happened was she woke me up to give me something and all I merely said to her was I was going to grab it when I woke back up ... I wasn't mean aboutz it at all though she gotz easily ticked off and offended and snapped the rude remark at my dad which I heard "damned if I do damned if I don't" that was completely uncalled for since I didn't do anything wrong

I'm so tired of her attitude towards me it is like walking on thin ice that is covered in egg shells with her over half the time ... when she verbal fights with me she always callz me alot of curse words and has the gall to callz me mean and nasty ... in those fight I've never once said anything like that back to her and she isn't happyz unless I leave the verbal fight in tearz feeling desolate and destroyed inside like she hates my mere existence

she also snaps that I do nothing to help her and yet on that same note she doesn't make any effort to ask for my help even though I've told her nicely countless timez that if she needed my help all she has to do is come and ask me since I enjoy being helpful to her despite how she makes me feelz half the time

I have a heart of gold and the personality and loyalty of a wolf and yet everytime she verbally beats me up I can't help but think of that picture I found on the internet that said you can beat a dog within an inch of it's life and yet it will stillz look at you with love in it's eyes and wag it's tail happily at you ... that is me in a nut shell this has been going on for most of my life and yet I stillz endure because it isn't always like this

I reallyz need advice and support and maybe a few hugs from those that want to givez them you don't have to if you don't want to ... dang it I'm crying again vT~Tv

I'm deeply in pain me and my mom just had a nasty fight and it was over some BS I didn't even do ... what happened was she woke me up to give me something and all I merely said to her was I was going to grab it when I woke back up ... I wasn't mean aboutz it at all though she gotz easily ticked off and offended and snapped the rude remark at my dad which I heard "damned if I do damned if I don't" that was completely uncalled for since I didn't do anything wrong

I'm so tired of her attitude towards me it is like walking on thin ice that is covered in egg shells with her over half the time ... when she verbal fights with me she always callz me alot of curse words and has the gall to callz me mean and nasty ... in those fight I've never once said anything like that back to her and she isn't happyz unless I leave the verbal fight in tearz feeling desolate and destroyed inside like she hates my mere existence

she also snaps that I do nothing to help her and yet on that same note she doesn't make any effort to ask for my help even though I've told her nicely countless timez that if she needed my help all she has to do is come and ask me since I enjoy being helpful to her despite how she makes me feelz half the time

I have a heart of gold and the personality and loyalty of a wolf and yet everytime she verbally beats me up I can't help but think of that picture I found on the internet that said you can beat a dog within an inch of it's life and yet it will stillz look at you with love in it's eyes and wag it's tail happily at you ... that is me in a nut shell this has been going on for most of my life and yet I stillz endure because it isn't always like this

I reallyz need advice and support and maybe a few hugs from those that want to givez them you don't have to if you don't want to ... dang it I'm crying again vT~Tv

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03-29-16 03:23 AM
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Jygin : Wow that is not good, I may not know what you are going through since this doesn't happen to me but I'll try to support you however I can. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent or something, because I'm pretty good at listening.

Also I would hug you but I don't know where you are
Jygin : Wow that is not good, I may not know what you are going through since this doesn't happen to me but I'll try to support you however I can. Feel free to PM me if you need to vent or something, because I'm pretty good at listening.

Also I would hug you but I don't know where you are
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(edited by 18mlivingston on 03-29-16 03:23 AM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Jygin,

03-29-16 12:15 PM
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18mlivingston : thankz that means alot to me I'll keep that in mind if I ever need someone to talk to
18mlivingston : thankz that means alot to me I'll keep that in mind if I ever need someone to talk to
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03-29-16 12:21 PM
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I don't know what your religious beliefs are but as a Christian I will lift you up in prayers. Wow, sounds like she has some anger issues. I have never had to go through anything like that. But have you thought about moving out if your able too or going to live with somebody else. Maybe you could also talk to your mom in a way and let her know she is upsetting you. Maybe you could try to see if anything else is going such as an illness or stress. The reason I bring that up is when some people are under stress or have an illness. They know something is wrong but won't talk instead they take it out on others. 
I don't know what your religious beliefs are but as a Christian I will lift you up in prayers. Wow, sounds like she has some anger issues. I have never had to go through anything like that. But have you thought about moving out if your able too or going to live with somebody else. Maybe you could also talk to your mom in a way and let her know she is upsetting you. Maybe you could try to see if anything else is going such as an illness or stress. The reason I bring that up is when some people are under stress or have an illness. They know something is wrong but won't talk instead they take it out on others. 
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03-29-16 12:48 PM
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Living at home is always going to be difficult. Personally, my relationship with my dad began to get better after I moved out - I'm still close by in proximity, but just having that space has helped a lot. 

My only suggestion would be to try talk to your mom about how this is affecting you, but unfortunately while you're under "their roof" even being an adult you're still living with limits. Do you pay rent? How do you help with the household? What are your responsibilities? 
Living at home is always going to be difficult. Personally, my relationship with my dad began to get better after I moved out - I'm still close by in proximity, but just having that space has helped a lot. 

My only suggestion would be to try talk to your mom about how this is affecting you, but unfortunately while you're under "their roof" even being an adult you're still living with limits. Do you pay rent? How do you help with the household? What are your responsibilities? 
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03-29-16 01:03 PM
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Jygin : To be honest with ya, I'm not exactly an ace when it comes to giving advice to others, but we're friends, so I'm gonna try at least.

Have you considered seeing a consoler? If the situation at hand really is bad, then I'll recommend it. *Hugs* If this made you feel better in even the slightest, than that's more than enough for me. Btw, if you're experiencing any more problems, then please don't be a stranger and come chat with me.
Jygin : To be honest with ya, I'm not exactly an ace when it comes to giving advice to others, but we're friends, so I'm gonna try at least.

Have you considered seeing a consoler? If the situation at hand really is bad, then I'll recommend it. *Hugs* If this made you feel better in even the slightest, than that's more than enough for me. Btw, if you're experiencing any more problems, then please don't be a stranger and come chat with me.
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03-29-16 02:23 PM
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Final Weapon : *hugs back* ya the hugs do help and thankz it means alot to me to have someone to talk aboutz my issues to



plasticinsanity : yes I do pay rent though I don't have enough money to live on my own so I do what I can to help around the house from laundry to swiffering the kitchen tile I also look after the dog sometimes and I feed the 2 neighbor cats that I've kinda adopted as my cats their dinner while my mom feeds them breakfast since I'm not up in the morning on most dayz



tornadocam : I'm not a Christian though thankz for the kind words and ya she does have anger issues but she refuses to acknowledge them and even goes so far as to say I'm the one with the problem that needz help when I don't
Final Weapon : *hugs back* ya the hugs do help and thankz it means alot to me to have someone to talk aboutz my issues to



plasticinsanity : yes I do pay rent though I don't have enough money to live on my own so I do what I can to help around the house from laundry to swiffering the kitchen tile I also look after the dog sometimes and I feed the 2 neighbor cats that I've kinda adopted as my cats their dinner while my mom feeds them breakfast since I'm not up in the morning on most dayz



tornadocam : I'm not a Christian though thankz for the kind words and ya she does have anger issues but she refuses to acknowledge them and even goes so far as to say I'm the one with the problem that needz help when I don't
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03-29-16 02:44 PM
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Jygin : It's good that you're contributing, but I'm sorry to hear that despite you helping out (not only with rent but also with cleaning which I imagine can't be easy if you're in pain... I'm assuming chronic) that she's still being difficult. Have you looked into resources that may be able to help you move out?
Jygin : It's good that you're contributing, but I'm sorry to hear that despite you helping out (not only with rent but also with cleaning which I imagine can't be easy if you're in pain... I'm assuming chronic) that she's still being difficult. Have you looked into resources that may be able to help you move out?
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03-29-16 03:48 PM
Jygin is Offline
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plasticinsanity : no I haven't even though she does get like that it isn't all the time thankfully so I just tolerate it when it happens and move on I try not to dwell on the matter though sometimes I just wish she'd get help for her anger issues from her doctor ... I wouldn't callz it chronic emotional pain because I am very resilient and have bounced back from alot worse then this though sometimes her meanness does wear and take it's toll on me though despite all she puts me through I stillz lovez her and she is stillz my mom :/

any pain my body may be in my mom has been taking me to the chiropractor to get taken care of ... granted I've been bugging her for yearz aboutz the pain but at least it is finally getting dealt with it was mainly back pain since while I was in school I had to deal with caring alot of overly heavy books and couldn't store them in a locker because I only had a limited amount of time between classes and trying to getz the lock to open was a pain so I often just carried them all despite how heavy they were

as I said before she isn't always mean to me sometimes it she shows she cares and other times it's like she is in a fowl mood and will snap at me and hurt my feelingz for stupid reasons ... it is very complicated v.v
plasticinsanity : no I haven't even though she does get like that it isn't all the time thankfully so I just tolerate it when it happens and move on I try not to dwell on the matter though sometimes I just wish she'd get help for her anger issues from her doctor ... I wouldn't callz it chronic emotional pain because I am very resilient and have bounced back from alot worse then this though sometimes her meanness does wear and take it's toll on me though despite all she puts me through I stillz lovez her and she is stillz my mom :/

any pain my body may be in my mom has been taking me to the chiropractor to get taken care of ... granted I've been bugging her for yearz aboutz the pain but at least it is finally getting dealt with it was mainly back pain since while I was in school I had to deal with caring alot of overly heavy books and couldn't store them in a locker because I only had a limited amount of time between classes and trying to getz the lock to open was a pain so I often just carried them all despite how heavy they were

as I said before she isn't always mean to me sometimes it she shows she cares and other times it's like she is in a fowl mood and will snap at me and hurt my feelingz for stupid reasons ... it is very complicated v.v
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03-29-16 04:31 PM
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Me and my parents have never gotten along well, so I'm pretty used to that sort of 'behaviour' from them, but I can understand how difficult and frustrating it can be for you. I hope this isn't a constant thing though, and I hope your mum does realize that what she's doing isn't always as right as she thinks it is. From what I can tell, it seems that your mum is going through some problems of her own (most likely a lot of stress), and she just happens to let that stress and frustration out on you.

It can be a painful thing, especially since it's your mother. And I understand since I've been through the same thing when I was very young, and it's been like this for a long time, until it's gotten to a point that we're pretty much strangers to each other. I'm just glad they don't pester me any more, but I doubt that's the situation you want to end up in. I'm used to it, but seeing how upset you are about her current situation only shows how much you don't want this.

Also according to your profile, you're 26 years old, so if possible, I'd move out if family is really an issue for you right now. I'm sure moving out for a while would cool things down between you two.

Easier said than done, but you should really try to let her know how you feel. A face to face conversation would be best, but if that doesn't work, I'm sure a nice long letter would get her thinking (along with some flowers too, because mothers love getting flowers from their children). But just a letter would be good enough, explaining your feelings and how you don't like the way you're being treated.

I really do hope it gets better for you, and so you don't end up in a situation I'm in.
Me and my parents have never gotten along well, so I'm pretty used to that sort of 'behaviour' from them, but I can understand how difficult and frustrating it can be for you. I hope this isn't a constant thing though, and I hope your mum does realize that what she's doing isn't always as right as she thinks it is. From what I can tell, it seems that your mum is going through some problems of her own (most likely a lot of stress), and she just happens to let that stress and frustration out on you.

It can be a painful thing, especially since it's your mother. And I understand since I've been through the same thing when I was very young, and it's been like this for a long time, until it's gotten to a point that we're pretty much strangers to each other. I'm just glad they don't pester me any more, but I doubt that's the situation you want to end up in. I'm used to it, but seeing how upset you are about her current situation only shows how much you don't want this.

Also according to your profile, you're 26 years old, so if possible, I'd move out if family is really an issue for you right now. I'm sure moving out for a while would cool things down between you two.

Easier said than done, but you should really try to let her know how you feel. A face to face conversation would be best, but if that doesn't work, I'm sure a nice long letter would get her thinking (along with some flowers too, because mothers love getting flowers from their children). But just a letter would be good enough, explaining your feelings and how you don't like the way you're being treated.

I really do hope it gets better for you, and so you don't end up in a situation I'm in.
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(edited by Toothie on 03-29-16 04:34 PM)    

03-31-16 12:13 AM
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I'm sorry to hear about every thing with your mom. I hope I could cheer you up at least a little last night. Don't feel bad about waking me up if you ever need to talk either. You know I'm always just a call or text away
I'm sorry to hear about every thing with your mom. I hope I could cheer you up at least a little last night. Don't feel bad about waking me up if you ever need to talk either. You know I'm always just a call or text away
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03-31-16 06:04 PM
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I know what you going though, my dad also did the same thing and I also had to deal with it. You are lucky for this to happen for me its been maybe 15 years of dealing such messy relationship. So about how this happens is in my opinion, that they feel not themselves when their rejected or nothing is happening. I think its a mind trick where they expect something good to happen but are greatly disappointed to see the result. The odd part is that this can be anything, it even doesn't even have to have meaning to make them angry.

so what are the best ways to go? In my experience, look at the signs or "triggers" as I called it (a visual novel term, where the characters change their tone, very fitting word if I do say so myself). Sometimes you see it, feel it , know it, when a trigger might happen. However its not perfect plan, other actions are needed such as the environment, people, or anything that might cause the trigger effect.

about your pain, its not physical or anything (I believe), I too felt the same thing when it first started. I learn along the way that its not me or my dad that's making bad decisions but more that I feel guilty for something that my dad has forgotten about. I had let my mind get the best of me and my body felt like it need to protect itself somehow. Going somewhere peacefully has help reach my understanding of my messy relationship.

I cant help you with whatever is going on but if you take time to relax for you and only you, everything should be fine.
I know what you going though, my dad also did the same thing and I also had to deal with it. You are lucky for this to happen for me its been maybe 15 years of dealing such messy relationship. So about how this happens is in my opinion, that they feel not themselves when their rejected or nothing is happening. I think its a mind trick where they expect something good to happen but are greatly disappointed to see the result. The odd part is that this can be anything, it even doesn't even have to have meaning to make them angry.

so what are the best ways to go? In my experience, look at the signs or "triggers" as I called it (a visual novel term, where the characters change their tone, very fitting word if I do say so myself). Sometimes you see it, feel it , know it, when a trigger might happen. However its not perfect plan, other actions are needed such as the environment, people, or anything that might cause the trigger effect.

about your pain, its not physical or anything (I believe), I too felt the same thing when it first started. I learn along the way that its not me or my dad that's making bad decisions but more that I feel guilty for something that my dad has forgotten about. I had let my mind get the best of me and my body felt like it need to protect itself somehow. Going somewhere peacefully has help reach my understanding of my messy relationship.

I cant help you with whatever is going on but if you take time to relax for you and only you, everything should be fine.
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04-05-16 09:41 PM
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Mynamescox44 : thankz that means alot to me


Toothie : I'll try to make sure it doesn't get to that point


mastergame : I'll keep that in mind thankz for the advice ^^
Mynamescox44 : thankz that means alot to me


Toothie : I'll try to make sure it doesn't get to that point


mastergame : I'll keep that in mind thankz for the advice ^^
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04-08-16 11:24 PM
Jygin is Offline
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I'm a little unsure whyz the post was moved to where it is nowz though I'm sure geeorgee knew something I must have over looked :/
I'm a little unsure whyz the post was moved to where it is nowz though I'm sure geeorgee knew something I must have over looked :/
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06-10-16 10:17 PM
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Zlinqx:  please close this thread I no longer need it
Zlinqx:  please close this thread I no longer need it
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(edited by Jygin on 06-13-16 04:12 PM)    

06-13-16 05:50 AM
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I feel sorry for your pain. I can actually relate, seeing how my mother walks all over me and I cannot do anything except stand around and take it. It's sickening to have to deal with this constantly, right? I have a solution for you; stand up for yourself. It might initially start more arguments, but eventually she might just leave you alone. You can also choose to ignore her. If you have any more problems, you can always come to me. I'll look out for you, buddy.
I feel sorry for your pain. I can actually relate, seeing how my mother walks all over me and I cannot do anything except stand around and take it. It's sickening to have to deal with this constantly, right? I have a solution for you; stand up for yourself. It might initially start more arguments, but eventually she might just leave you alone. You can also choose to ignore her. If you have any more problems, you can always come to me. I'll look out for you, buddy.
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06-13-16 04:09 PM
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Ultrajeff : thankz your sympathies mean alot to me and I'll keep your words in mind
Ultrajeff : thankz your sympathies mean alot to me and I'll keep your words in mind
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