Hey guys. Shawn here. Or general spleen Whatever you wanna call me. First off I wanted to thank everyone for my journey on this amazing site. I've made some great friends on here and had some great times as well. But I have been trying to decide whether I should leave vizzed for good or keep going and use vizzed. I have realized that I may have helped people on here... But I've also hurt a lot of people on here which is one of the reason why I'm debating on leaving vizzed. For example I've hurt eniitan through a misunderstanding which is one of the last people I've wanted to hurt on here. And if you happen to read this I am sorry for everything. I truly am sorry. I don't expect forgiveness or you to believe me but I am truly sorry. She's not the only person who I've hurt, pissed off, or made mad. There's many others. I really don't know if I should leave or not. I will make my decision Monday but I really don't know. I'll leave it up to you guys. And don't just tell me I should stay because its vizzed or whatever. I want you guys to be brutally honest with me. Even if it feels like it would hurt me... Say it. I love vizzed and all the people I've come to know. I... I just don't know what to do....

Everyone hurts someone in one way or another sometime in their life. I personally believe that it's inevitable. Therefore, you shouldn't leave Vizzed just because you've hurt someone. I think everyone has been here at one point.

Instead of running away from your problems, maybe you should try to fix them. It may seem harder to do that at first, but it's worth it in the end.

I've never gotten to know you, but I honestly don't think what you've done can't be forgiven. You might have hurt a lot of people, and I get that. But... leaving forever won't help. Maybe you can leave for a week or so, and that might help.

I hope this may have helped you, no matter how small of an impact it might have.

And...

Eniitan : You should see this.

In my home, insensitivity and unkindness occur frequently.  This isn't to say my family isn't trying.  But everyone slips up sometime or another in their lives.  For some, it may be a brief moment.  For others, it may take years to overcome.  I have said a good number of insensitive things here, mostly in jest, but insensitive and unkind nonetheless.  I hope those I have offended will forgive me, and I am sorry for saying hurtful things.

I do warn you though, this website can be toxic.  I see certain users teased and mocked for their posts.  If you stay, you will likely struggle to be the best you can be.  I'm not even sure why I stay.  I think it is because I hope to make a positive difference.  At times, though, it has been because I could get stuff with Viz.  I came to this realization, and it was the major reason why I felt I should leave before.  When I came back, I was changed, but before too long, I fell back into old habits and ways of thinking.  

I really need to find a way to motivate myself to fulfill my obligations to the site.  I often have periods that I am productive followed by periods that seem to drag on and I get nothing done.  Now that I'm staff, it is essential that I find a way to stay productive, even for a short period each day.  I am on target for CP, but nor for hours poured into my job.  I simply can't seem to inspire myself to my fullest on my own.  I've got a few ideas on how I can return to productivity, though.  I hope they will spur me to action.

Anyways, I've bared my hopes and dreams before you.  I hope they inspire you  I also hope you will do some thinking and praying about what to do and find out the best thing to do.  I wish you the best!

O...kay. I am kinda understanding what you are trying to say, and like supernerd117 said (-ish), everyone makes mistakes every now and then. You don't have to leave because you feel bad. I really don't know what to say either...

Eniitan : Hey, maybe you want to see this. Or not.

Honestly though you have hurt me and Enii and whoever else doesn't matter. This is vizzed... I know vizzed has helped me through so much in my life and if it makes you happy to stay here then stay here. I don't think it's going to upset me or enii if you stay. Just because you may of hurt us doesn't mean we want you gone but you do you. Anyways I'm closing this now.