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RL Friend Problems

 

04-07-15 05:14 PM
Lexatom is Offline
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Lexatom
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Recently at school, I've felt lonely. This loneliness makes me get depressed, it just keeps breaking me down more and more. It almost seems as if I have no ACTUAL friends. Sure, they may talk to me. But, you want to know how many people's houses I've been invited to for parties and such this year? 0. None. I feel left out of almost everything, and I think I have no real friends. Until I realize, that my friends on Vizzed, ARE my real life friends. You guys have supported me throughout the year, and I thank you all. I just wish I had friends I could actually meet up with in person. I'm not depressed when I think about Vizzed, but it just drives me crazy that it seems like I have no friends at school. I'd really appreciate it if some members of the Vizzed community could help me through this situation. :C
Recently at school, I've felt lonely. This loneliness makes me get depressed, it just keeps breaking me down more and more. It almost seems as if I have no ACTUAL friends. Sure, they may talk to me. But, you want to know how many people's houses I've been invited to for parties and such this year? 0. None. I feel left out of almost everything, and I think I have no real friends. Until I realize, that my friends on Vizzed, ARE my real life friends. You guys have supported me throughout the year, and I thank you all. I just wish I had friends I could actually meet up with in person. I'm not depressed when I think about Vizzed, but it just drives me crazy that it seems like I have no friends at school. I'd really appreciate it if some members of the Vizzed community could help me through this situation. :C

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04-07-15 05:22 PM
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Wow, that's terrible! I'm glad we vizzed members could support you and be a big help!

Hanging out outside of school is a really important part of being close friends with somebody. Hanging out at school is nice, but friends should do activities with each other outside of school regularly too.

Maybe you should invite some of your friends to your parties and such. That might make a difference. Just like with relationships, sometimes you have to make the first move. In this case that first move is inviting your friends to parties.
Wow, that's terrible! I'm glad we vizzed members could support you and be a big help!

Hanging out outside of school is a really important part of being close friends with somebody. Hanging out at school is nice, but friends should do activities with each other outside of school regularly too.

Maybe you should invite some of your friends to your parties and such. That might make a difference. Just like with relationships, sometimes you have to make the first move. In this case that first move is inviting your friends to parties.

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04-07-15 05:40 PM
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PacmanandMariofan : Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I've been inviting them to my house and they come over. But they never invite me to THEIR house...
PacmanandMariofan : Yeah, that's what I've been doing. I've been inviting them to my house and they come over. But they never invite me to THEIR house...

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04-07-15 06:31 PM
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I made a few friends in class, but the people I'm really going to remember are my cross country teammates and those in my core circle of friends. So I'd recommend doing activities outside of class. When you're changing into your running gear in front of the same people for four years, you tend to get close.

I'm kidding...but having to suffer together can really strengthen your friendships.

The same held true for my physics class in terms of suffering. A friend in that class went to college in Europe, but we're still in contact.

That's really all I have in terms of advice, and I completely agree that your online friends are actual friends.
I made a few friends in class, but the people I'm really going to remember are my cross country teammates and those in my core circle of friends. So I'd recommend doing activities outside of class. When you're changing into your running gear in front of the same people for four years, you tend to get close.

I'm kidding...but having to suffer together can really strengthen your friendships.

The same held true for my physics class in terms of suffering. A friend in that class went to college in Europe, but we're still in contact.

That's really all I have in terms of advice, and I completely agree that your online friends are actual friends.

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04-07-15 07:10 PM
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Maybe you should sometimes ask your friends if they have anything interesting going on or coming up.

Like EM said, you should do outside-of-school activities. I'm starting to do that next year since I signed up for some, and a lot of people I know have easily gotten more friends because they joined outside-of-school activities
Maybe you should sometimes ask your friends if they have anything interesting going on or coming up.

Like EM said, you should do outside-of-school activities. I'm starting to do that next year since I signed up for some, and a lot of people I know have easily gotten more friends because they joined outside-of-school activities

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(edited by PacmanandMariofan on 04-07-15 07:10 PM)    

04-07-15 07:14 PM
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LunarDarkness2 : Person you are one of my friends and if we knew each other in real life I would be your friend no matter what even though we may have some disagreements no one is exactly the same so I can work passed that. So what I'm trying to say is that you are my friend whether you know it or not but since I'm telling you this that means you do know.
LunarDarkness2 : Person you are one of my friends and if we knew each other in real life I would be your friend no matter what even though we may have some disagreements no one is exactly the same so I can work passed that. So what I'm trying to say is that you are my friend whether you know it or not but since I'm telling you this that means you do know.

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04-08-15 08:53 PM
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If you don't like how something is going, you make a change.

Try some new things.  If you're in school, get on some school teams or find something that interests you and ask to create a club.  You can talk to a guidance councilor or someone who's a teacher to help you find a way.

You can also try volunteering.  Volunteering is a great way to meet other people with similar interests.  Talk to the local city council or a YMCA or some other program and see what they may have available.

The trick is to go out of your comfort zone and see what else is out there.  Expand your horizons, try things that don't make you comfortable, and you'll find other people.  Try not running to Vizzed.com every time you're unhappy or upset.  

Challenge yourself.
If you don't like how something is going, you make a change.

Try some new things.  If you're in school, get on some school teams or find something that interests you and ask to create a club.  You can talk to a guidance councilor or someone who's a teacher to help you find a way.

You can also try volunteering.  Volunteering is a great way to meet other people with similar interests.  Talk to the local city council or a YMCA or some other program and see what they may have available.

The trick is to go out of your comfort zone and see what else is out there.  Expand your horizons, try things that don't make you comfortable, and you'll find other people.  Try not running to Vizzed.com every time you're unhappy or upset.  

Challenge yourself.

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04-09-15 03:21 PM
Lexatom is Offline
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warmaker : Well, there's not many options of joining clubs, seeing as I'm in 8th grade....So, there's really no such things as clubs at my middle school.
warmaker : Well, there's not many options of joining clubs, seeing as I'm in 8th grade....So, there's really no such things as clubs at my middle school.

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04-14-15 07:22 PM
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Humans are interesting creatures aren't they?

I know how important it is to meet up with people outside of school life or outside of work life to just mellow out and be yourself, and the need for real socialization is a high priority considering how prominent the world of technology is these days, and how it seems like it can separate us more than bring us together, digging that pit of loneliness that you feel. Or your parents dont want you going out across the city to meet up with friends. Or that it seems that life gets in the way of everyone you know except you.

Yes I hear what you're getting at, and even though Im no longer in school, I know the feeling. When I was in high school, I did a little experiment on my own. For one whole school year, I sat on the side of the cafeteria, minding my own business everyday, not talking to a soul, just to see if people were willing to walk up to a complete stranger. Guess what? Nobody approached. No one. Not a soul had any interest in meeting me. That's when I learned something mighty interesting about our little species.

You find people claim to be shy, the kind that dont want anything to do with anybody, or are just afraid to meet new people on their own accord? They look for people who arent like them, they look for someone whose willing to approach someone and meet them. We as Humans look for this, its not just THE SHY PEOPLE and it sure as heck not some condition on a person. We look for people who make us laugh and smile, who goes out of their way to come to us, instead of us going to them. Does that make us all shy? Maybe. But maybe it tells us that we look for people to lead, to make the act before we follow through with the person.

If there aren't any clubs, or sports or anything you find you cannot get into, and if you have enough gump inside of you, walk up to a person and strike a conversation ((Someone who isn't busy at the moment of time is recommended)) and see what happens and where it goes. Theres a certain respect I find that I believe people find about others that people have a chance to like the other more if someone else approaches them. It doesn't have to be a destiny or anything, but the point is, so long as you hit it off with people, and arent shy about making new friends, the people you meet and acquaint yourself with will respect you all the same. You may not be with the people when you want to, but if they understand the idea that this person is friends with you, likes and respects you for who you are, and would be happy to see you again the next time you see one another, then that should be all you really need. The feeling of being liked.

It might not be the best solution to hear, but eh, this century has a couple screws missing here and there and probably cant be fixed or replaced by any means. Whaddya do eh?
Humans are interesting creatures aren't they?

I know how important it is to meet up with people outside of school life or outside of work life to just mellow out and be yourself, and the need for real socialization is a high priority considering how prominent the world of technology is these days, and how it seems like it can separate us more than bring us together, digging that pit of loneliness that you feel. Or your parents dont want you going out across the city to meet up with friends. Or that it seems that life gets in the way of everyone you know except you.

Yes I hear what you're getting at, and even though Im no longer in school, I know the feeling. When I was in high school, I did a little experiment on my own. For one whole school year, I sat on the side of the cafeteria, minding my own business everyday, not talking to a soul, just to see if people were willing to walk up to a complete stranger. Guess what? Nobody approached. No one. Not a soul had any interest in meeting me. That's when I learned something mighty interesting about our little species.

You find people claim to be shy, the kind that dont want anything to do with anybody, or are just afraid to meet new people on their own accord? They look for people who arent like them, they look for someone whose willing to approach someone and meet them. We as Humans look for this, its not just THE SHY PEOPLE and it sure as heck not some condition on a person. We look for people who make us laugh and smile, who goes out of their way to come to us, instead of us going to them. Does that make us all shy? Maybe. But maybe it tells us that we look for people to lead, to make the act before we follow through with the person.

If there aren't any clubs, or sports or anything you find you cannot get into, and if you have enough gump inside of you, walk up to a person and strike a conversation ((Someone who isn't busy at the moment of time is recommended)) and see what happens and where it goes. Theres a certain respect I find that I believe people find about others that people have a chance to like the other more if someone else approaches them. It doesn't have to be a destiny or anything, but the point is, so long as you hit it off with people, and arent shy about making new friends, the people you meet and acquaint yourself with will respect you all the same. You may not be with the people when you want to, but if they understand the idea that this person is friends with you, likes and respects you for who you are, and would be happy to see you again the next time you see one another, then that should be all you really need. The feeling of being liked.

It might not be the best solution to hear, but eh, this century has a couple screws missing here and there and probably cant be fixed or replaced by any means. Whaddya do eh?

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(edited by sdutop on 04-14-15 07:26 PM)     Post Rating: 1   Liked By: Lexatom,

04-16-15 01:28 PM
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Oh,how much I understand you buddy! I had exactly ZERO friends at school, and even today my circle is rather limited - people at work are really acquaintances. I do visit people sometimes (as part of things like Event Brite or Meetup), but I still don't think of them as friends. I wish the Internet had been bigger in the late 1990s; it might have helped me.

Although I usually prefer human contact, online contact helps too. I'm a libertarian and finding like-minded people (especially in DC) is hard. So keep coming here!
Oh,how much I understand you buddy! I had exactly ZERO friends at school, and even today my circle is rather limited - people at work are really acquaintances. I do visit people sometimes (as part of things like Event Brite or Meetup), but I still don't think of them as friends. I wish the Internet had been bigger in the late 1990s; it might have helped me.

Although I usually prefer human contact, online contact helps too. I'm a libertarian and finding like-minded people (especially in DC) is hard. So keep coming here!

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04-17-15 04:51 PM
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I was roughly your age or older when I had my first true and real friends. And well, only one of them is even now still a friend to me. Don't worry about it. The time will come.
I was roughly your age or older when I had my first true and real friends. And well, only one of them is even now still a friend to me. Don't worry about it. The time will come.

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04-18-15 12:03 PM
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Brigand : And to add to that: it's quality not quantity. I know it sounds cliché but just look at Facebook. Outside immediate family members how many people in your friends' list do you truly know? I've been shortening that list to people whom I really know, and I keep more professional contacts to LinkedIn.
Brigand : And to add to that: it's quality not quantity. I know it sounds cliché but just look at Facebook. Outside immediate family members how many people in your friends' list do you truly know? I've been shortening that list to people whom I really know, and I keep more professional contacts to LinkedIn.

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04-18-15 02:22 PM
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LunarDarkness2 : Well, most of my best friends are gone from my school. And, I do feel lonely and left out, much like you. However, I'm not sad about it, as I do was invited at a birthday party few months ago, and I enjoyed it. In my class, I don't have friends.

Well, this thread is about on helping you to make friends, right? Well, try to impress people, talk to them about your likes. Try to be more active and more sociable. I understand ya, pal, and I'm one of your friends on Vizzed.
LunarDarkness2 : Well, most of my best friends are gone from my school. And, I do feel lonely and left out, much like you. However, I'm not sad about it, as I do was invited at a birthday party few months ago, and I enjoyed it. In my class, I don't have friends.

Well, this thread is about on helping you to make friends, right? Well, try to impress people, talk to them about your likes. Try to be more active and more sociable. I understand ya, pal, and I'm one of your friends on Vizzed.

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