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Need Help Getting Over a Straight Girl

 

12-15-14 01:02 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
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I told this girl I liked her today (it was our last day of class today so that's why I did it today)
and she said she's straight
She was pretty cool about it & didn't seem homophobic or anything (no yelling & stuff)
And now I'm pretty disappointed on the inside
even though I told her its okay on the out
and just thanked her for being so mature and cool about it and for not yelling at me or anything
Now what?

And it isn't a small crush
I've had it on her all semester!
I told this girl I liked her today (it was our last day of class today so that's why I did it today)
and she said she's straight
She was pretty cool about it & didn't seem homophobic or anything (no yelling & stuff)
And now I'm pretty disappointed on the inside
even though I told her its okay on the out
and just thanked her for being so mature and cool about it and for not yelling at me or anything
Now what?

And it isn't a small crush
I've had it on her all semester!

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(edited by xxeliza321xx on 12-15-14 01:04 PM)    

12-15-14 05:06 PM
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xxeliza321xx:

My friend, I know exactly how you feel.

Having crushes on people sucks, because nine times out of ten it's one sided. But it's not something we can really help, as humans. Makes you wish we weren't so emotionally fickle sometimes, doesn't it? Anyway, here's my advice.

This can go two ways. It all depends on your personal desires, and how strong they are. The first way goes like this: You drop it, forget about her, never let it cross your mind again. Personally, I would recommend this way if you want to save yourself a whole lot of time and stress. Crushes are extremely draining, more so the longer you have them. There's no reciprocation, and it just leaves you chasing after something you're not going to get, which gets VERY tiring, VERY quickly. I tell you this from experience. 

But, based off of my experience, I can also say that the first way is a crapshoot. Whether you take it or not, you're going to be dissatisfied. If you leave her behind, you're still going to have that nagging feeling of missing something. It's really a pain to deal with. But if you do choose to go for it, you're still going to have that feeling, albeit a lot longer. Now, I'm not trying to tell you that you shouldn't pursue her. If she is where your heart is, then there's not really anything anyone can say to deter you. But there's a few questions you ought to consider before making the conscious decision to stick with this crush. One of them is, "Is she worth it?". Truly and wholly. As she's told you your sexualities aren't compatible, it's very unlikely that you two will start something. But it's not impossible. The only thing is, the path to a relationship that's so unlikely is a very long, arduous path. You're going to feel pain, you're going to feel regret, you're going to feel exhausted. But sometimes, that's all something you're willing to do if it pays off in the end. There's no way to guarantee that, however - so really it's risky. And rather inadvisable.

All in all: Follow your heart. Are you willing to spend all that on her? Are you going to be more satisfied with her than any other person that you could possibly want a relationship with? These are decisions only you can make.

Whatever those decisions may be, I wish you luck, friend. If you need any advice, or if you just need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to send me a PM.
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xxeliza321xx:

My friend, I know exactly how you feel.

Having crushes on people sucks, because nine times out of ten it's one sided. But it's not something we can really help, as humans. Makes you wish we weren't so emotionally fickle sometimes, doesn't it? Anyway, here's my advice.

This can go two ways. It all depends on your personal desires, and how strong they are. The first way goes like this: You drop it, forget about her, never let it cross your mind again. Personally, I would recommend this way if you want to save yourself a whole lot of time and stress. Crushes are extremely draining, more so the longer you have them. There's no reciprocation, and it just leaves you chasing after something you're not going to get, which gets VERY tiring, VERY quickly. I tell you this from experience. 

But, based off of my experience, I can also say that the first way is a crapshoot. Whether you take it or not, you're going to be dissatisfied. If you leave her behind, you're still going to have that nagging feeling of missing something. It's really a pain to deal with. But if you do choose to go for it, you're still going to have that feeling, albeit a lot longer. Now, I'm not trying to tell you that you shouldn't pursue her. If she is where your heart is, then there's not really anything anyone can say to deter you. But there's a few questions you ought to consider before making the conscious decision to stick with this crush. One of them is, "Is she worth it?". Truly and wholly. As she's told you your sexualities aren't compatible, it's very unlikely that you two will start something. But it's not impossible. The only thing is, the path to a relationship that's so unlikely is a very long, arduous path. You're going to feel pain, you're going to feel regret, you're going to feel exhausted. But sometimes, that's all something you're willing to do if it pays off in the end. There's no way to guarantee that, however - so really it's risky. And rather inadvisable.

All in all: Follow your heart. Are you willing to spend all that on her? Are you going to be more satisfied with her than any other person that you could possibly want a relationship with? These are decisions only you can make.

Whatever those decisions may be, I wish you luck, friend. If you need any advice, or if you just need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to send me a PM.

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12-15-14 08:56 PM
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Xenthou : Thank you
and I'm starting to agree with how you say its nearly impossible
I can't just ''turn her lesbian/bi''
just how no one can turn me straight!
Xenthou : Thank you
and I'm starting to agree with how you say its nearly impossible
I can't just ''turn her lesbian/bi''
just how no one can turn me straight!

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12-15-14 11:56 PM
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Most of the population is straight.

I wouldn't be surprised if another girl rejects your affections like that.

At all.



Most of the population is straight.

I wouldn't be surprised if another girl rejects your affections like that.

At all.

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(edited by Sword legion on 12-16-14 11:00 AM)    

12-16-14 12:03 AM
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Does your school have an LGBTQ club / support group?

I think you'll suffer less heartbreaks there than with the general population.

Simply because you'll meet a lot of people comfortable with openly discussing their sexuality.

That will be one major hurdle crossed.

Then all you'll have to do is see whether they're someone you like on the inside.
Does your school have an LGBTQ club / support group?

I think you'll suffer less heartbreaks there than with the general population.

Simply because you'll meet a lot of people comfortable with openly discussing their sexuality.

That will be one major hurdle crossed.

Then all you'll have to do is see whether they're someone you like on the inside.

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12-16-14 03:38 PM
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EideticMemory : I am part of my school's LGBT club but I don't feel "that way" for anyone there
EideticMemory : I am part of my school's LGBT club but I don't feel "that way" for anyone there

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12-16-14 03:40 PM
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Sword legion : I know, but I always try anyway because I never know! I've run into people in the general population/not in an LGBT club who are LGBT themselves!
Sword legion : I know, but I always try anyway because I never know! I've run into people in the general population/not in an LGBT club who are LGBT themselves!

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12-20-14 08:42 AM
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Also, should I try to stay friends with her?
Also, should I try to stay friends with her?


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12-29-14 12:48 PM
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@ xxeliza321xx Yes stay friends with her. No need to deprive yourself of a good friend just because of sexual orientation. To do that to me would like being very self centered and a waste of life. Have to take the good along with the bad. Be there for her and be a good friend. Enjoy your time with her even if it is not how exactly you want it to be. It may hurt for awhile but before long you will notice that it comes to mind less and less as time goes by. Time and the girl herself will actually help that as you become good friends. Good luck to you and I hope everything goes well in the future for ya'. 
@ xxeliza321xx Yes stay friends with her. No need to deprive yourself of a good friend just because of sexual orientation. To do that to me would like being very self centered and a waste of life. Have to take the good along with the bad. Be there for her and be a good friend. Enjoy your time with her even if it is not how exactly you want it to be. It may hurt for awhile but before long you will notice that it comes to mind less and less as time goes by. Time and the girl herself will actually help that as you become good friends. Good luck to you and I hope everything goes well in the future for ya'. 

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12-29-14 09:45 PM
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Brain-Splattered : Thank you!
Brain-Splattered : Thank you!

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12-29-14 11:02 PM
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xxeliza321xx :

If she's straight she's straight - you need to move on and accept her preferences.

Rule of thumb, don't sit and fantasize too much about people you find attractive - just keep in mind that you don't really know her that well, and that mental picture you have of her being this wonderful princess is really your creation. You can like a person but you can't really "be in love" with a person you don't really know - "love at first sight" doesn't really happen - you have to develop a deep relationship with a person to be in love.

Keep in mind she's one of millions of girls on the planet and that there are many people who you can be compatible with, not just "1 person" (like in the Disney movies - this is one way that modern media has had a bad influence on us - it's given us unrealistic expectations).
xxeliza321xx :

If she's straight she's straight - you need to move on and accept her preferences.

Rule of thumb, don't sit and fantasize too much about people you find attractive - just keep in mind that you don't really know her that well, and that mental picture you have of her being this wonderful princess is really your creation. You can like a person but you can't really "be in love" with a person you don't really know - "love at first sight" doesn't really happen - you have to develop a deep relationship with a person to be in love.

Keep in mind she's one of millions of girls on the planet and that there are many people who you can be compatible with, not just "1 person" (like in the Disney movies - this is one way that modern media has had a bad influence on us - it's given us unrealistic expectations).

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12-29-14 11:10 PM
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Ace102 : Yea I'm trying to move on and have fun & its totally working with the holidays and what not. And that's also why I never say I'm in love with people. As far as I remember, I just said I liked her
Ace102 : Yea I'm trying to move on and have fun & its totally working with the holidays and what not. And that's also why I never say I'm in love with people. As far as I remember, I just said I liked her

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