How do you feel about receiving charity?
When I was younger, my parents sheltered me and my siblings to an extreme. My mother especially though, had a silent sense of pride in being a mother. Although they did not have a lot of money, she was never happy to receive gifts or charity... and although there weren't lectures on the subject, she exemplified selflessness. Due to being a homebody, there weren't many chances for her to act on these self-standards. I do remember one time, however, when someone sent clothes home with my little brother. My mother was so hurt and embarrassed, that she returned the clothes the next day.
As an adult, I gained the same habit. I have a really, really hard time accepting 'gifts'. When I was first married, my husband really chided me about this often. His parents always wanted to buy me things and give me things... and I felt bad and embarrassed. I didn't want their gifts because I thought somehow.. that accepting the gifts easily would make me appear selfish.
I've actually gotten better about this in my attempt to be more 'normal'. I see people giving and receiving gifts all the time, for absolutely no reason. And it's always awkward when I try to argue my way out of them.
How do you feel about receiving things when people are trying to be nice to you and / or help you out? How do people like me make you feel? What are some of the psychological characteristics of people like me that have a hard time accepting gifts?
How do you feel about receiving charity?
When I was younger, my parents sheltered me and my siblings to an extreme. My mother especially though, had a silent sense of pride in being a mother. Although they did not have a lot of money, she was never happy to receive gifts or charity... and although there weren't lectures on the subject, she exemplified selflessness. Due to being a homebody, there weren't many chances for her to act on these self-standards. I do remember one time, however, when someone sent clothes home with my little brother. My mother was so hurt and embarrassed, that she returned the clothes the next day.
As an adult, I gained the same habit. I have a really, really hard time accepting 'gifts'. When I was first married, my husband really chided me about this often. His parents always wanted to buy me things and give me things... and I felt bad and embarrassed. I didn't want their gifts because I thought somehow.. that accepting the gifts easily would make me appear selfish.
I've actually gotten better about this in my attempt to be more 'normal'. I see people giving and receiving gifts all the time, for absolutely no reason. And it's always awkward when I try to argue my way out of them.
How do you feel about receiving things when people are trying to be nice to you and / or help you out? How do people like me make you feel? What are some of the psychological characteristics of people like me that have a hard time accepting gifts?