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PixelBrick
07-01-14 04:23 PM
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Joke Thread

 

07-01-14 04:23 PM
PixelBrick is Offline
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Welcome to the joke thread. Basically, just tell a good joke in your post. That's about all I can say. 

Mine is more of a stand-up routine, but...(It's funnier when said out loud)

So, I was talking to a woman. We were talking about politics. She had previously mentioned her trip to Hawaii and how much she loved Hawaii. At one point, she brought up how she hates the countries that attacked Ukraine and how Napoleon and the French army ravaged so many countries. Then I asked, "How did the U.S. get Hawaii?" *Cricket* *Cricket*
Welcome to the joke thread. Basically, just tell a good joke in your post. That's about all I can say. 

Mine is more of a stand-up routine, but...(It's funnier when said out loud)

So, I was talking to a woman. We were talking about politics. She had previously mentioned her trip to Hawaii and how much she loved Hawaii. At one point, she brought up how she hates the countries that attacked Ukraine and how Napoleon and the French army ravaged so many countries. Then I asked, "How did the U.S. get Hawaii?" *Cricket* *Cricket*

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07-01-14 04:27 PM
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Badum tss. Killer joke man.

I'll go too I guess. This is a riddle:

How many people does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Two. One person grabs the lightbulb while the other person lifts the one who holds the lightbulb and he turns him around![spoiler/]
Badum tss. Killer joke man.

I'll go too I guess. This is a riddle:

How many people does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?

Spoiler:
Spoiler:
Two. One person grabs the lightbulb while the other person lifts the one who holds the lightbulb and he turns him around![spoiler/]

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07-01-14 07:02 PM
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I have a few anti-jokes, which are the best kind of jokes!

1. How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her!

2. What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

3. (Some people may find this one a little offensive) Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

4. (Some people may find this one a little offensive also) How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

5. Why was the boy sad? He a had a frog stapled to his face.

6. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

More to come later!
I have a few anti-jokes, which are the best kind of jokes!

1. How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her!

2. What is green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

3. (Some people may find this one a little offensive) Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

4. (Some people may find this one a little offensive also) How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

5. Why was the boy sad? He a had a frog stapled to his face.

6. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see monkey do. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

More to come later!

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07-01-14 07:06 PM
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tgags123 : I'm now wondering if you're actually Tom, and not an immature sibling that went on his account...

What's red, black, and blue, and lying in a ditch? Me, after I played soccer with Blanka from Street Fighter
tgags123 : I'm now wondering if you're actually Tom, and not an immature sibling that went on his account...

What's red, black, and blue, and lying in a ditch? Me, after I played soccer with Blanka from Street Fighter

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07-01-14 07:10 PM
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PixelBrick : Immature? Come on, those jokes were great! Much better than your lame jokes

1. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus!

2. What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

3. What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.
PixelBrick : Immature? Come on, those jokes were great! Much better than your lame jokes

1. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus!

2. What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

3. What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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07-01-14 07:54 PM
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tgags123 : I swear to god you got that second one from meme generator
tgags123 : I swear to god you got that second one from meme generator

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07-01-14 08:55 PM
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I've got two.

A man once asked his new co worker "Are you single?". The girl said "Yes, how did you know?".
"Because you're ugly".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jason.
Jason who?
It's me mom, you need to take your medicine.
I've got two.

A man once asked his new co worker "Are you single?". The girl said "Yes, how did you know?".
"Because you're ugly".

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jason.
Jason who?
It's me mom, you need to take your medicine.

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07-08-14 02:25 PM
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Why couldn't the people walk in odd numbers? Because they cant even! 

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Put a scratchy sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. 
Why couldn't the people walk in odd numbers? Because they cant even! 

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Put a scratchy sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. 


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07-26-14 02:20 PM
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Warning this joke amy offend you if you are christian, please I am in no way trying offend christians, I just read this joke on yahoo answers and had a laugh

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Spoiler:
The picture only needs one nail to be hung


Please don't take the joke out of context, it is what it is, a joke. :3
Warning this joke amy offend you if you are christian, please I am in no way trying offend christians, I just read this joke on yahoo answers and had a laugh

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

Spoiler:
The picture only needs one nail to be hung


Please don't take the joke out of context, it is what it is, a joke. :3

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07-29-14 01:38 PM
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What do you call a blonde with half a brain?                                                                                          Gifted!

And an old stoner joke:
How many pizzas does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                           I don't know, man, but they were good pizzas.
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?                                                                                          Gifted!

And an old stoner joke:
How many pizzas does it take to change a light bulb?                                                                           I don't know, man, but they were good pizzas.

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08-23-14 05:14 PM
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This one is like a story joke.
There was a man whose grandma was dying and on her dying wish she gave the man a ring that he should to his girlfriend when he proposes to her.The man takes the ring and while he is on an aeroplane to go home the plane starts to lose height and the pilot tells to the passenger to throw away all their staff so they can servive.The man from before who has already thrown away everything but the ring is force by the others to throw it to.The plane lands safely in the end.The man sad for throwing away the ring buys a cheese pie and what does he finds in it.
Spoilers alert : DAN DAN DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing else but cheese of course.
This one is like a story joke.
There was a man whose grandma was dying and on her dying wish she gave the man a ring that he should to his girlfriend when he proposes to her.The man takes the ring and while he is on an aeroplane to go home the plane starts to lose height and the pilot tells to the passenger to throw away all their staff so they can servive.The man from before who has already thrown away everything but the ring is force by the others to throw it to.The plane lands safely in the end.The man sad for throwing away the ring buys a cheese pie and what does he finds in it.
Spoilers alert : DAN DAN DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing else but cheese of course.

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(edited by ShinyInfernape100 on 08-23-14 05:15 PM)    

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