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you stink!

 

01-26-14 12:53 PM
a-sassy-black-lady is Offline
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how do you tell some one they stink with out makeing them angry?
how do you tell some one they stink with out makeing them angry?
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01-26-14 02:08 PM
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I stay away from him or her. (S)he might have fallen down outside on the manure or the smell of a skunk lingers on him / her. 

Since (s)he can't do anything at that point except go home and change, there's no point stating an obvious problem out loud. 

If it's a family member, you can tell it bluntly, without emotion, if it's necessary. For anyone else, it's their problem.
I stay away from him or her. (S)he might have fallen down outside on the manure or the smell of a skunk lingers on him / her. 

Since (s)he can't do anything at that point except go home and change, there's no point stating an obvious problem out loud. 

If it's a family member, you can tell it bluntly, without emotion, if it's necessary. For anyone else, it's their problem.
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01-26-14 02:38 PM
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That is a toughie because you don't want to make a person angry. One thing to think about is you never know what that person's home life is. What I mean is that person may not have access to water to take a shower or they may have a condition that causes them to be like that. So if you say anything you run the risk of offending the person. So, yeah its a tough call to make to tell or not to tell. 
That is a toughie because you don't want to make a person angry. One thing to think about is you never know what that person's home life is. What I mean is that person may not have access to water to take a shower or they may have a condition that causes them to be like that. So if you say anything you run the risk of offending the person. So, yeah its a tough call to make to tell or not to tell. 
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01-27-14 01:27 AM
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there is no way just look at them and say you stink take a shower or me and you aint friends


there is no way just look at them and say you stink take a shower or me and you aint friends

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(edited by Fallman7 on 01-29-14 10:15 AM)    

01-27-14 01:32 AM
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No don't do what fallman suggested, That is HORRIBLE! Try to stay away from him or her and don't tell them that because it would hurt their feelings. They probaly don't have any water. It's very mean to make fun of somebody even if you aren't trying to it can come off as offensive any way you put it so just don't. It's that person's problem so leave it be.
No don't do what fallman suggested, That is HORRIBLE! Try to stay away from him or her and don't tell them that because it would hurt their feelings. They probaly don't have any water. It's very mean to make fun of somebody even if you aren't trying to it can come off as offensive any way you put it so just don't. It's that person's problem so leave it be.
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01-27-14 02:34 AM
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tell them they smell like a big mouth bass covered in sewage water with a straight face and they'll thank you for it.   
tell them they smell like a big mouth bass covered in sewage water with a straight face and they'll thank you for it.   
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01-27-14 03:00 PM
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assuming it's a really good friend who stinks and is with a crowd of other people . just like pull them aside and away from others and tell them in a quiet voice about their smell, but be sure to not be all mean about it.

this is also the same situation as if they had like a piece of food on their teeth, just hope they aren't the type to take it up the butt and get angry, but see it as a way of being kind or whatever. of course it would be mean not to tell them and let it stick with them ALL DAY!!
assuming it's a really good friend who stinks and is with a crowd of other people . just like pull them aside and away from others and tell them in a quiet voice about their smell, but be sure to not be all mean about it.

this is also the same situation as if they had like a piece of food on their teeth, just hope they aren't the type to take it up the butt and get angry, but see it as a way of being kind or whatever. of course it would be mean not to tell them and let it stick with them ALL DAY!!
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01-28-14 08:08 PM
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Qualify it and say, "Listen, man.  I don't want to hurt your feelings but you might need to spend more time soaping up.  Did you just get done working out or something?  You kinda smell and you'll want to take care of that."

If you're telling them because they need to know, they shouldn't have their feelings hurt.  It's about caring for them and showing them you're concerned and you want them to be aware so they're not embarrassed.

If you can't do that or if they get offended, that's on them.  You tried to help and you tried to let them know they needed to make a change.  You did what you could.  Just do it quietly and so one else can hear.  Also do it when they have the chance to make a change so they don't walk around the rest of the day self-conscious.
Qualify it and say, "Listen, man.  I don't want to hurt your feelings but you might need to spend more time soaping up.  Did you just get done working out or something?  You kinda smell and you'll want to take care of that."

If you're telling them because they need to know, they shouldn't have their feelings hurt.  It's about caring for them and showing them you're concerned and you want them to be aware so they're not embarrassed.

If you can't do that or if they get offended, that's on them.  You tried to help and you tried to let them know they needed to make a change.  You did what you could.  Just do it quietly and so one else can hear.  Also do it when they have the chance to make a change so they don't walk around the rest of the day self-conscious.
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01-29-14 08:04 PM
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I think all you have to do is tell them because if they stink they would want to clean themselves up so they do not embarrass themsleves in case they go somewhere with a lot of people like to a mall.
I think all you have to do is tell them because if they stink they would want to clean themselves up so they do not embarrass themsleves in case they go somewhere with a lot of people like to a mall.
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01-29-14 08:21 PM
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Its all about using the right words to tell the person, that they smell like what warmaker said for an example. If you don't think about how you say things like that, it will cause a lot of trouble negatively. So before you tell that person that they smell badly and need a bath, think of how you would say it, and how it will come across rightly. Without breaking that persons feelings, and making them very angry...
Its all about using the right words to tell the person, that they smell like what warmaker said for an example. If you don't think about how you say things like that, it will cause a lot of trouble negatively. So before you tell that person that they smell badly and need a bath, think of how you would say it, and how it will come across rightly. Without breaking that persons feelings, and making them very angry...
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02-04-14 11:16 AM
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Here's a thought, and something I would do, because I'm weird. But if the main problem is dreading the confrontation about his/her smell, I would maybe slip an anonymous letter into their pocket or somewhere only they could find it. Explaining to them that they smell and should do something about it, but you don't want to hurt their feelings, and sign it "someone who cares" or "Batman" or something.

Otherwise, I guess the only other option is to be frank with them in person
Here's a thought, and something I would do, because I'm weird. But if the main problem is dreading the confrontation about his/her smell, I would maybe slip an anonymous letter into their pocket or somewhere only they could find it. Explaining to them that they smell and should do something about it, but you don't want to hurt their feelings, and sign it "someone who cares" or "Batman" or something.

Otherwise, I guess the only other option is to be frank with them in person
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(edited by sloanstar1000 on 02-04-14 11:19 AM)    

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