Now, I know a a lot of reviewers have already took a s*** on this game, most notably the AVGN, Seanbaby, and Armake21.
I too want to take a s*** all over this game because its just a awful game to play, even if you're stoned or drunk.
I guess I'll start off with a little history lesson, Pitfall was the s*** back in the 80's for the Atari 2600 and Nintendo decided to get that loveable franchise to the NES, which I guess would be a smart move.
Basically, you play as Pitfall Harry (of course)navigating himself through cavern mazes to rescue his niece Ronda and free her pet tiger, Quickclaw. And on the way must rescue the Raj Diamond.
Sounds simple right? Wrong! To find items you have to jump in specific places, which doesn't make sense. Why the f*** would you have to jump into a specific place to get items?
And the fact that you cant kill spiders and much of the enemies in the game is just gosh darn stupid. So the gun is nearly useless. And the fact that ammunition is scare, doesn't help one bit.
So after you find the key to Quickclaw and get the Raj Diamond, you have to save Rhonda. But the thing that just baffles me, is the fact that you have f***ing tiger that could kill all these frogs, spiders, scorpions, and cavemen but he's too f***ing scared to come out Harry's pocket, genius.
The music keeps looping on, like it wants you to remind it's s***ty theme, like the programmers spent about three minutes and said "Guys, we need to think of a quick 2 minute theme which could loop around the whole game so we don't have to do any more effort"
But the thing that makes me go f***ing crazy about this game? Jumping into a specfic bird to get medicine. What f***ing person would have Harry jump into a bird when they know everything in the game kills him and the fact you have 3 lives and no continues. Just imagine if in Contra, you had jump on a specific enemy to progress to the next level, if you didn't jump on them the level would keep on looping and looping.
Next, you finally get to see a breath of fresh air. You're in a new area! There's actually new music! And almost of the enemies you can kill! Except for those s***ty snails.
Finally, you rescue Ronda and she magically goes into your pocket, go back where you started off in the game and jump off in a specific area. And you get The Grand Ending,
Which is Text.
This is what you wasted your gosh darn time with, a black screen that says "Congrats, you finished the game
PLEASE TRY ANOTHER WORLD"
You went through all that shooting, all that jumping, all those deaths, all of that trial and error just to see soem s***ty black text. And for a person who didn't use any sort of guide or hint book, I f***ing applaud you for actually finishing this gosh darn maze of a game.
Super Pitfall, I just love that Super in the title like it actually thinks it has good graphics and is more innovative than most NES titles. I think Brett Alan Weiss of AllGame said it best " Pitfall is one of the best Atari 2600 games; 'Super Pitfall is one of the the worst NES games." Now, I know a a lot of reviewers have already took a s*** on this game, most notably the AVGN, Seanbaby, and Armake21.
I too want to take a s*** all over this game because its just a awful game to play, even if you're stoned or drunk.
I guess I'll start off with a little history lesson, Pitfall was the s*** back in the 80's for the Atari 2600 and Nintendo decided to get that loveable franchise to the NES, which I guess would be a smart move.
Basically, you play as Pitfall Harry (of course)navigating himself through cavern mazes to rescue his niece Ronda and free her pet tiger, Quickclaw. And on the way must rescue the Raj Diamond.
Sounds simple right? Wrong! To find items you have to jump in specific places, which doesn't make sense. Why the f*** would you have to jump into a specific place to get items?
And the fact that you cant kill spiders and much of the enemies in the game is just gosh darn stupid. So the gun is nearly useless. And the fact that ammunition is scare, doesn't help one bit.
So after you find the key to Quickclaw and get the Raj Diamond, you have to save Rhonda. But the thing that just baffles me, is the fact that you have f***ing tiger that could kill all these frogs, spiders, scorpions, and cavemen but he's too f***ing scared to come out Harry's pocket, genius.
The music keeps looping on, like it wants you to remind it's s***ty theme, like the programmers spent about three minutes and said "Guys, we need to think of a quick 2 minute theme which could loop around the whole game so we don't have to do any more effort"
But the thing that makes me go f***ing crazy about this game? Jumping into a specfic bird to get medicine. What f***ing person would have Harry jump into a bird when they know everything in the game kills him and the fact you have 3 lives and no continues. Just imagine if in Contra, you had jump on a specific enemy to progress to the next level, if you didn't jump on them the level would keep on looping and looping.
Next, you finally get to see a breath of fresh air. You're in a new area! There's actually new music! And almost of the enemies you can kill! Except for those s***ty snails.
Finally, you rescue Ronda and she magically goes into your pocket, go back where you started off in the game and jump off in a specific area. And you get The Grand Ending,
Which is Text.
This is what you wasted your gosh darn time with, a black screen that says "Congrats, you finished the game
PLEASE TRY ANOTHER WORLD"
You went through all that shooting, all that jumping, all those deaths, all of that trial and error just to see soem s***ty black text. And for a person who didn't use any sort of guide or hint book, I f***ing applaud you for actually finishing this gosh darn maze of a game.
Super Pitfall, I just love that Super in the title like it actually thinks it has good graphics and is more innovative than most NES titles. I think Brett Alan Weiss of AllGame said it best " Pitfall is one of the best Atari 2600 games; 'Super Pitfall is one of the the worst NES games."
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