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Small Question.

 

10-22-13 06:38 PM
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Um, so to start off, I'm gay, if you didn't know. I have a bf who every time I refuse to do something stupid for him like taking a video of him acting like a tranny doing idiotic things, he argues with me saying that I'm not in this relationship if I don't do it. That I don't want to be with him. Is this normal? Because I don't think so. Is he being selfish or am I?

Emoteen134
Um, so to start off, I'm gay, if you didn't know. I have a bf who every time I refuse to do something stupid for him like taking a video of him acting like a tranny doing idiotic things, he argues with me saying that I'm not in this relationship if I don't do it. That I don't want to be with him. Is this normal? Because I don't think so. Is he being selfish or am I?

Emoteen134

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10-22-13 07:00 PM
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That's more threatening/bullying to get his way. I have 4 siblings, and they all pull the same stuff. (Okay, minus the relationship part...) If you ask me he's selfish.
That's more threatening/bullying to get his way. I have 4 siblings, and they all pull the same stuff. (Okay, minus the relationship part...) If you ask me he's selfish.


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10-22-13 07:05 PM
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Your Bf seems to be the selfish one in this relationship. If you are not comfortable with doing something then he should at least respect you enough to not threaten you like that. If it continues then my only advice would have to be to look somewhere else. The world is a big place, you will find someone you care for and that someone that cares for you. So good luck emoteen134. 
Your Bf seems to be the selfish one in this relationship. If you are not comfortable with doing something then he should at least respect you enough to not threaten you like that. If it continues then my only advice would have to be to look somewhere else. The world is a big place, you will find someone you care for and that someone that cares for you. So good luck emoteen134. 

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10-22-13 07:08 PM
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Yeah, I agree in saying that he is just being selfish. I am not really sure if this is normal behavior or not, but I think you should seriously have a talk with him about this and tell him about his behavior and how it is affecting you.

If this continues, then I suggest breaking up with him. He is being the selfish one. Sorry about this, but I think you should just have a serious talk about it and discuss things with him and tell him you will break up if this continues. Hope this helps! 
Yeah, I agree in saying that he is just being selfish. I am not really sure if this is normal behavior or not, but I think you should seriously have a talk with him about this and tell him about his behavior and how it is affecting you.

If this continues, then I suggest breaking up with him. He is being the selfish one. Sorry about this, but I think you should just have a serious talk about it and discuss things with him and tell him you will break up if this continues. Hope this helps! 

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10-22-13 07:26 PM
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He is the one being selfish. He shouldn't be forcing you to do something that you don't want to.
He is the one being selfish. He shouldn't be forcing you to do something that you don't want to.

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10-22-13 07:36 PM
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I won't tell you what to do emoteen134, but I will tell you what you shouldn't do, and that is keep quiet. You have to talk to your bf about this. If he leaves that is his fault, I am sure he is missing out on a great person. Eventually you will find someone that you love, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will. 
I won't tell you what to do emoteen134, but I will tell you what you shouldn't do, and that is keep quiet. You have to talk to your bf about this. If he leaves that is his fault, I am sure he is missing out on a great person. Eventually you will find someone that you love, maybe not today or tomorrow but you will. 

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10-22-13 07:57 PM
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Yeah I think that is pretty selfish. He is kind of taking advantage of you. I think you need to have a talk with him.
Yeah I think that is pretty selfish. He is kind of taking advantage of you. I think you need to have a talk with him.

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10-22-13 07:57 PM
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Okay, so my BF saw all the responses and he said to rephrase my question. So I will.

Okay, so he wants me to "support" him in him taking weird videos and he thinks that if I don't then I'M the one being selfish because in a relationship two people support one another no matter what they do. But if I DON'T "support" him then I don't want to be in this relationship. Is this true? Who is right? And if no one is right then what can we do?

Thanks for listening!

Emoteen134
Okay, so my BF saw all the responses and he said to rephrase my question. So I will.

Okay, so he wants me to "support" him in him taking weird videos and he thinks that if I don't then I'M the one being selfish because in a relationship two people support one another no matter what they do. But if I DON'T "support" him then I don't want to be in this relationship. Is this true? Who is right? And if no one is right then what can we do?

Thanks for listening!

Emoteen134

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10-22-13 08:03 PM
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Well in a relationship you also respect the other person's feelings. I am not saying that he is a bad guy, don't know him or you to be honest. However if someone is not willing to do something that makes them uncomfortable, then have the decency to respect each others wishes. There should never be any ultimatum between a couple, if your bf wants you to do something and you agree then by all means do it. It is entirely up to you if you both want to be in this relationship. If this is your first dispute for something this small, then how will you both react when something of more importance happens? 
Well in a relationship you also respect the other person's feelings. I am not saying that he is a bad guy, don't know him or you to be honest. However if someone is not willing to do something that makes them uncomfortable, then have the decency to respect each others wishes. There should never be any ultimatum between a couple, if your bf wants you to do something and you agree then by all means do it. It is entirely up to you if you both want to be in this relationship. If this is your first dispute for something this small, then how will you both react when something of more importance happens? 

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10-22-13 08:20 PM
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MoIested : That is actually why I'm asking is because this is NOT our first dispute (we have been together for a year already) and I want these disputes to stop. Most of them are stupid and can be done without. I don't know, I just hope that someone can help me find a way to at least cut the amount of disputes in half. Trust me, I'm NEVER going to leave him, he is my soul mate, its just some of the things he does is VERY unconventional and really aggravating.
MoIested : That is actually why I'm asking is because this is NOT our first dispute (we have been together for a year already) and I want these disputes to stop. Most of them are stupid and can be done without. I don't know, I just hope that someone can help me find a way to at least cut the amount of disputes in half. Trust me, I'm NEVER going to leave him, he is my soul mate, its just some of the things he does is VERY unconventional and really aggravating.

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10-22-13 08:32 PM
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emoteen134 : Every couple has their disputes, it is difficult but the best advice that I can give you is just sit down and talk to each other like rational people. From what I have read, it seems lie you both really love each other, and that is precious. It pains me that I can't help you. You can always seek advice with a couple's counselor. Someone that has experience with this. 
emoteen134 : Every couple has their disputes, it is difficult but the best advice that I can give you is just sit down and talk to each other like rational people. From what I have read, it seems lie you both really love each other, and that is precious. It pains me that I can't help you. You can always seek advice with a couple's counselor. Someone that has experience with this. 

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10-22-13 08:42 PM
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MoIested : Counselors have been considered. Multiple times in fact. The only problem I have is taking advice from someone I don't even know. I'm sure its hard for ANYONE to do so, but I'm more of the type that likes to fix things on his  own. You know, to be honest, I never wanted to post this in the first place, mainly because I NEVER ask for help because I lean better on my own. But I guess then this would be my own problem and not others then. We will reconsider the Counselors but I doubt that it will be an option in the near future. Thank you for your kind advice though.

Emoteen134
MoIested : Counselors have been considered. Multiple times in fact. The only problem I have is taking advice from someone I don't even know. I'm sure its hard for ANYONE to do so, but I'm more of the type that likes to fix things on his  own. You know, to be honest, I never wanted to post this in the first place, mainly because I NEVER ask for help because I lean better on my own. But I guess then this would be my own problem and not others then. We will reconsider the Counselors but I doubt that it will be an option in the near future. Thank you for your kind advice though.

Emoteen134

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10-22-13 08:50 PM
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emoteen134 : Well remember I am someone you don't even know as well. I will however help someone in need, if I can. I understand that some people would not talk about something personal, in this case post. I am sure that everyone here cares for you and your relationship as they would their own. I am someone that doesn't ask for help, and when I do it must be very serious. I tend to resolve all my issues on my own. I hope that you and your bf will find a solution. The best of luck to you both. 
emoteen134 : Well remember I am someone you don't even know as well. I will however help someone in need, if I can. I understand that some people would not talk about something personal, in this case post. I am sure that everyone here cares for you and your relationship as they would their own. I am someone that doesn't ask for help, and when I do it must be very serious. I tend to resolve all my issues on my own. I hope that you and your bf will find a solution. The best of luck to you both. 

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10-22-13 08:50 PM
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Just because you don't want to help him create stupid videos, doesn't mean you're not supporting him. He has to respect your decision to decline his offer. The fact that you are in a relationship is irrelevant and you shouldn't let a silly problem like this affect your relationship negatively.
Just because you don't want to help him create stupid videos, doesn't mean you're not supporting him. He has to respect your decision to decline his offer. The fact that you are in a relationship is irrelevant and you shouldn't let a silly problem like this affect your relationship negatively.

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10-22-13 08:58 PM
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MoIested : Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. I will think on what you have said. Thank you again!

Chewedmint : Although I enjoy how straight forward you are, that didn't help. Your negative response will get a negative score. Thanks anyway.

Emoteen134
MoIested : Thank you for your help. I really appreciate it. I will think on what you have said. Thank you again!

Chewedmint : Although I enjoy how straight forward you are, that didn't help. Your negative response will get a negative score. Thanks anyway.

Emoteen134

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10-22-13 09:23 PM
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emoteen134 : How is my response negative?
emoteen134 : How is my response negative?

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10-22-13 09:37 PM
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Local Mods : Please Close. My Question has been answered. Thank you.
Local Mods : Please Close. My Question has been answered. Thank you.

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