Hello. I'm here just to speak my mind about my relationship, kinda just looking for advice and to help myself let go. If you knew, I was in a TDR with the most amazing girl. However it ended officially just yesterday. Not on bad terms mind you; we're still great friends. However if it's not too much trouble, I just want to talk, not in much detail or length, about it.
She kinda stopped making an effort for like 3-4 months, which worried me. She kept telling me she loved me, and I believed her. However over time she seemed to be treating me with the same kind of affection that she gave her friends, in which I hardly felt exclusive to her anymore. She didn't really communicate with me all that well, and was rather thoughtless in not keeping me posted on her life. She even choose me over her friends a number of times. We have some arguments, mainly me complaining how I don't feel loved and appreciated, and that she loved her friends more than me, and apparently, (yesterday when I decided I lost all romantic feelings for her) that the reasons that acted the way she did was that she stopped having feelings for me. She didn't want to tell me that because she really felt I was an amazing guy, and wanted to not hurt my feelings. However, she was just hurt when she realised that she didn't want me as much as I wanted her, and she kinda just....couldn't. She felt really bad for not telling me though.
As I type that, it seems like a silly excuse. I feel like she's hiding something or is scared if she says something, I really will get hurt. But what can I do? Either way she doesn't want me romantically anymore, so even if I did know, what then? I felt kinda lied to that every time she said she loved me for the past month or so it was a way to spare my feelings, and not real romance. She kinda tosses the word love around anyway, using it to make people feel better. I guess that's kinda beautiful about her, but at the same time annoying because you don't feel exclusive? :/
So I deleted pretty much everything she sent me as to not reestablish a connection with her (which was pretty darn hard you know. Some of them were really symbolic to me, displaying attention, trust, love and effort. I cried as I deleted then, I guess that's normal and healthy), and whenever she's got what she needs sorting her end, we can just do stuff together. I dunno what I'm looking for, just some words of reassurance and....maybe some advice?
Just getting this out there that I regret nothing dating this girl. I have learned a lot from it. I might not like some of what I see of myself , but I'm happy to have memories of her and that I can learn from this to be a better person. I'm just in that phase I guess. Hello. I'm here just to speak my mind about my relationship, kinda just looking for advice and to help myself let go. If you knew, I was in a TDR with the most amazing girl. However it ended officially just yesterday. Not on bad terms mind you; we're still great friends. However if it's not too much trouble, I just want to talk, not in much detail or length, about it.
She kinda stopped making an effort for like 3-4 months, which worried me. She kept telling me she loved me, and I believed her. However over time she seemed to be treating me with the same kind of affection that she gave her friends, in which I hardly felt exclusive to her anymore. She didn't really communicate with me all that well, and was rather thoughtless in not keeping me posted on her life. She even choose me over her friends a number of times. We have some arguments, mainly me complaining how I don't feel loved and appreciated, and that she loved her friends more than me, and apparently, (yesterday when I decided I lost all romantic feelings for her) that the reasons that acted the way she did was that she stopped having feelings for me. She didn't want to tell me that because she really felt I was an amazing guy, and wanted to not hurt my feelings. However, she was just hurt when she realised that she didn't want me as much as I wanted her, and she kinda just....couldn't. She felt really bad for not telling me though.
As I type that, it seems like a silly excuse. I feel like she's hiding something or is scared if she says something, I really will get hurt. But what can I do? Either way she doesn't want me romantically anymore, so even if I did know, what then? I felt kinda lied to that every time she said she loved me for the past month or so it was a way to spare my feelings, and not real romance. She kinda tosses the word love around anyway, using it to make people feel better. I guess that's kinda beautiful about her, but at the same time annoying because you don't feel exclusive? :/
So I deleted pretty much everything she sent me as to not reestablish a connection with her (which was pretty darn hard you know. Some of them were really symbolic to me, displaying attention, trust, love and effort. I cried as I deleted then, I guess that's normal and healthy), and whenever she's got what she needs sorting her end, we can just do stuff together. I dunno what I'm looking for, just some words of reassurance and....maybe some advice?
Just getting this out there that I regret nothing dating this girl. I have learned a lot from it. I might not like some of what I see of myself , but I'm happy to have memories of her and that I can learn from this to be a better person. I'm just in that phase I guess. |