Wow, dude, that sucks. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm sure it sound's like I'm just saying that, but I'm not. I'm honestly sorry you're going through this.

Advice? You'll probably hate me for saying this, but just run to Jesus. While life won't be perfect with Him, He will always be with you and there to comfort you in your time of need. Other than that, talk to your mom. Chances are, she'll be able to help (at least somewhat). She'll try, at least.

I'm here to talk more, if you want.

:'(

mrfe : I hate to sound like that guy, but I have gone to Jesus and God for my entire life and nothing improved. I have been patient my entire life. And I spent years hoping for nothing.

Firstly, I should say I have been in a similar condition as you, but my depression was because of lack of friends, back when I were younger and more immature, I was a repelent for people, I stayed many years in school alone, being bullyed, there was a time I positioned the knife on my neck to commit the suicide, but I did the same thing as you, I dropped the knife and started to cry.
If I can give you any advice? I don't know, if I am in a bad state right now, so I can't offer you advices if I can't help myself for now.
Backing to the topic in question, I can't really say you have something to do, just wait, I've waited a long time in my life, and as time progressed, I started to become at least less immature, and was able to start making friends.
You and I can give hands and walk together, as we are in a state we can't do anything to change what happens in our family.

Don't give up, I know we both didn't talk to each other in a long time, but you always count with me to be a listener.

BluemageKyle :    I think that suicide is never the answer. Talk to your mom about what's happening and tell her (when step dad isn't around) all about the things he's doing to you and how that makes you feel. I'd advise telling her about the suicide attempt, because if she is willing to listen then she should go to war over your safety. --> like a mother bear. I believe you are and will be a great musician and you should be proud to be Russian.

Oh, gosh.  Suicide?  I certainly agree with everyone else - suicide is not, I repeat not the right answer.  Think about how sad that would make your mom feel!  And how much it would hurt!  I'll try to  give you some tips on how to get rid of that lousy depression. 

Maybe not as severe as you, but I also have been teased about my heritage - I'm half Japanese.  People say 'KONICHIWA!' right in front of me.  They laugh and say that Japan is stupid.  Do they realize that I'm two feet away from them?  Probably.  It hurts a lot... But I go to my friends for comfort and feel much better.  Have you talked to your friends about any of your problems?  Try not to put any stress on their shoulders, but ask them for advice.  If they say something stupid, they don't know how to comfort you, so move on.

Talk to your mom in private.  She is bound to help you and resolve your step dad problem.

Go to a school counselor/normal counselor.  It feels good to spill it all out, trust me.  

Have some laughs with your friends!  Try to have fun, at least!  

Talk to people who have been in the same situation as you have - me, for example.  I may not have experienced bouts of depression as you have, but...

1. I'm made fun of
2.People have threatened me 
3. Both my grandmas are sick - one with cancer and one who had a seizure and now dementia

And more.  People who have been in your shoes will know what to say. 

Keep your head high!  Maybe your step dad will be intimidated and back off.  Maybe.

Don't think about suicide - It makes it all 100 times worse.

Think positive! Example - "I'm an EPIC musician!  Being Russian is COOL!"

I really hope this helped, I love to help people out.  Again, don't commit suicide.  If you ever need more advice, all your Vizzed pals are here to help - and all your friend you see in person.  


 

Mia03 : Thank you.

Ranma : It is nice to see a person give good advice like that. Thank you. I have seen my side of the Russian stereotypes. After I say I am going to the woods to get inspiration to draw they ask, "Are you going to ride bears and drink vodka?" (Damn it, Putin...) 

Truthfully, I'm not going to make a huge post or anything about this. However, I will say that avoiding outside help is the worst, so it's at least good that you made the thread.

If anything, I HIGHLY suggest trying to see a Therapist, whether it be a school therapist or different one.

I also suggest, after seeing the Therapist, trying to get diagnosed for some sort of anti-depressant medication. While I wouldn't normally suggest doing such a thing, it's kinda imperative if you're now attempting suicide.

BluemageKyle :    Your welcome. Anytime Kyle.

I sincerely sympathize with your predicament. It's never easy struggling through depression, and it's much harder if those around you are the uncaring type. I have contemplated suicide several times through my life so far. On the surface, it seems like it would solve many problems, but after some contemplation, one usually concludes that it would leave far too many new problems for other people that I care about to deal with.

I believe the previous posters have offered some good advice: seek counselling, talk to your mother, inquire about mood stabilizing medication.

Most of my advice, however, is going to be about your step father. I have had two of them in my life. One was abusive, and if I ever see him again he had better pray to everything holy that I don't recognize him. The second was very kind, and had earned my respect and my love. His passing was an event that left this planet a little darker. I digress.

I may be mistaken, but if the incident you described in your first post is commonplace, then you need to be aware. It sounds like your step father is using the "Intimidator" control drama to steal your energy. Does he often hit you, or does he often tell you that you are useless, or should be ashamed? These are classic intimidator tactics, and it's a serious situation when someone who is supposed to be in a parental role becomes a bully. There is hope, though! Intimidators can be stopped by breaking the control drama. The next time he says anything demeaning, stand up for yourself. (Yes, it can be scary; I had to walk through no end of anxiety when first using this tactic.)  Tell him that he can no longer intimidate you because your not afraid. Then go and tell your mother that you are tired of constantly defending yourself from unwarranted abuse. Finally, if you are still in school, talk to your school counsellor. Tell them about the problems you have with your step-father. No one should have to deal with these kinds of problems at home, and I hope that my advice helps.

For more information about control dramas, the way people steal each other's energy, please read The Celestine Prophecies by James Redfield. I promise it will be worth while.