I have been with my fiance for over 5 years and we want to get married after I graduate college. Neither of us claim a denomination of Christianity, but we believe in the Christian God. So that means we don't really go to church, so we don't know any pastors or priests other than the staff of my University and they are all priests. Well, I'm pretty tight with the President of the University, Father Larry. Since I don't know any pastors or preachers, I'd like to have Father Larry marry us, but I don't know what is required for that to happen.

Are there any Catholics here on vizzed who know how this would work? I only ask because I've heard we have to take a six month class and then the wedding will be really strict. And if there are a lot of strict regulations, is there a way I can have him marry us, not as a Priest, but just as an Ordained Minister?

If anyone answer these questions, I'd appreciate it.

I'm not Catholic, but I go to a private Catholic college. In order to get married in the Roman Catholic church you must be confirmed Catholic (Confirmation, Confession, First Communion), and you must be baptized if you haven't been already. you must go through premarital counseling, and if you're sleeping together you must not sleep sleep with each other for 6 months. If you're living in the same place, they will say one of you must leave. Also, priests usually keep a spare bed in case someone just can't afford it.

Because he is a catholic priest, he can only marry you catholic. There is only one way to marry catholic, and it is the method you see above.

It isn't a joke to get married Catholic. They take this seriously. Also, if you divorce and want to remarry, if you do not get granted an annulment by the Catholic church, you cannot marry your second husband/wife in the catholic church; they still see you as married to your ex.

Since from the look of it, you're not Catholic, don't even try to be married Catholic. I would work on finding out what you believe about God first.

Txgangsta : Thanks for making it sound like I don't take marriage or my religion seriously. I don't know if that was your intention, but you sounded really preachy and rude.

I don't want to be married "Catholic." I just want a Holy Man I know and trust to perform the ceremony. Him being Catholic has nothing to do with my decision. He could be Islamic and I'd still want him to marry us because I know and trust him.

I am being preachy and rude. That is intentional. It is offensive to me that you claim the name of my God and then not only believe that church is not important in your life, your potential fiance's life, and your potential children's lives*, but you are so divorced from God that you don't even know a priest/pastor other than the guy at your school**. Then, on top of all that your last comment disregards Christianity as a whole as the source of Truth and Purity***. First, Islamic's do not marry as we do, and second, even if they did, that man doesn't worship the God you claim to know.

I'm not saying you're not Christian. I am saying that your faith is infantile and before you start a family, you need to figure some things out.

*Faith without works is dead. You don't go to church and haven't for a while. Your children will most likely be raised with that attitude. You probably don't care. This offends me.

**You haven't been to church in so long that you don't even know who goes to one nearby, let alone the priest/pastor. Equally, you aren't looking to go to church and meet someone who can marry you and make a "church home" (since you're starting a family and all).

***It isn't the "holy man" that marries you, it is God that marries. The man doesn't even matter. You don't even need a ceremony. Yet, you'll go get married by a foreign, non-existent god. You disregard the True God's blessing of Purity in exchange for a friend that you "know and trust" to talk at you.

Txgangsta : You need to be more respectful to other users of the board.
In fact insulting someone about how they live is one of the worst things to do on this board.

XxChaosxX : I'm very sorry for the user above me.
I say you should try asking in the Christian Conservatives rented forum.
That would be the best place to ask.

Txgangsta : I think we all know who here is someone who looks down on others for not living the same spiritual way that you do. If there is one thing I cannot stand is one who thinks their way of living their faith is the only way to do it and talks down to others who do it differently. Go hang out with Fred Phelps if you want to do that crap. As a matter of fact, you do NOT have to do it the way you stated to be married in a Catholic church. My wife and I are not Catholic, but it was important to her mother that our marriage be recognized by the Catholic Church. Sp we had our wedding, and then had a separate small ceremony a few weeks later at her mother's Catholic Church. The Church did not require us to live apart for 6 months, I am not a confirmed Catholic (and wasn't required to convert), and we did not have to go through the same rigorous premarital counseling. But our marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church regardless.
 
"There is only one way to marry Catholic". Maybe it should be YOU who needs to take a look at your own faith when it is YOU who do not know the way marriage works in your own religion. 

And sorry Chaos's way of religion offends you because it isn't your way. I am a very religious person, but do not go to church. Mainly because I got tired of being around people as judgmental as you with their 'holier than thouth' attitude who can't get off their high horse and try to pass judgement on others. You saying Chaos has a weak faith because he doesn't go to a building to worship offends me. Faith is not determined by going to a building every week and worshiping with other people. You don't need a building or peers to practice your religion and keep a strong faith. But obviously you can't see that since you think your way is the only right way.

Can't live together. See "in good standing".

http://catholicism.about.com/od/catholicliving/f/FAQ_Marriage.htm

And you think you're better than me because I'm holier-than-thou? Doesn't that lump you in the same category? The man doesn't take faith seriously. He should not call himself Christian.

And for the record, I have never before had a problem with a Christian on this board, and you can believe me that none of them agree with me on everything. The majority don't even agree on most.

Edit: Also, my religion actually tells me to correct fellow believers. Perhaps you should learn some tolerance yourself.

Txgangsta :

Why do you even see this thing as important as this, since you are not even catholic as I believed. Some two kids want some catholic priest to marry them, well let them just convert and get some counculing. Leave it at that.

Txgangsta : You do not even understand the meaning of tolerance.

Maybe you should go watch my little pony ...
To tolerate someone else believes is to allow them to live their life the way they wish to and not say they are living wrongly.

Txgangsta : It absolutely does not lump me in the same category. I am not attacking you because of your beliefs. I attack your decision to talk down to someone simply because of their way of life. You clearly make judgement on his life and faith based off of knowing that he doesn't know the Catholic process of marriage and doesn't attend service at a building with a group of people. You don't know how he practices his faith. You don't know his beliefs. You don't know his relationship with God. Yet you call his faith weak based on a small speck of knowledge. That is what separates me from you. I'm fine if you having a set of beliefs. But you have no right to intentionally be rude and hateful to someone because they don't have the same belief as you. That is bigotry. You can state your opinion without attacking people like you did. You don't have to go to church service to take your faith seriously. You have no right to say his faith is weak because his practices differ from yours.

iN008:

You tell me I'm not tolerant because I tell someone else how to live their life... maybe you shouldn't tell me to be tolerant then because that's telling me how to run my life? Hypocrite?

rcarter2 :

It is my belief that anyone who calls themselves "Christian" should at least act it. I am criticizing him for not acting Christian as I perceive Christian. If I am wrong, then he can tell me why he is acting Christian. If he does not want to be Christian, then I don't criticize, just like I have never criticized you for lack of faith. However, he claims to be my brother in Christ. Therefore, I will criticize him where he lacks, and admitted to 3 of those on the board in 2 posts. If they were little things (for example, women priests is another thread in CC subforum), I would never bother. The things mentioned, especially #3, are BIG deals in the Christian faith.

"I attack your decision to talk down to someone simply because of their way of life."

He is claiming his way of life is Christian. Not going to church? My mom doesn't either, and hasn't for about 7 years straight (she used to go 3 times a year before that). However, the guy doesn't even know how to get married and is ready to do it. I will give him credit, he does want marriage. This is a good thing. The disposition against a church is just not Christian. You have to have some sort of organized religion, that's even how Jesus did it!

"You clearly make judgement on his life and faith
based off of knowing that he doesn't know the Catholic process of
marriage and doesn't attend service at a building with a group of
people."

No. My judgments (of which are permissible) are from the statements and reasons that follows:

"Since I don't know any pastors or preachers..." (Seriously, unless you read your bible with your fiance every week by yall's selves, you have been ignoring your religion).

"...I've heard we have to take a six month class and then the wedding will be really strict." (Whining that there will be work involved).

"He could be Islamic and I'd still want him to marry us because I know and trust him." (Other religions are just like Christianity and it's all the same god).

The judgments were not farfetched and attacked his complacency.

"You don't know his relationship with God."

This I do not know, and I have never criticized it. This is what I cannot make a judgment on. I will never say this guy is not Christian. That would make me a judgmental twat. Right now I'm calling him out on his bullpoopie and being told I'm a judgmental twat (much different than actually being one).

"But you have no right to intentionally be rude and hateful to someone because they don't have the same belief as you."

He says he has the same belief. I would have left it be had he not been about to get married.

"You don't have to go to church service to take your faith seriously."

Just to reiterate, this is not what bothers me.

"You have no right to say his faith is weak because his practices differ from yours."

Also just to reiterate, this is not what bothers me.

Txgangsta : I didn't tell you to tolerate her.
I said you do not even understand the meaning of Tolerance so don't call me a hypocrite.
Your attitude won't be accepted on this board and I would severely recommend you stop with such insulting comments on this board before a ban is issued. Yes your are entitled to your opinion but questioning someones religion will never be accepted on this board whether you be religious or not. I myself am atheist but I do not go around enforcing my non-belief as it would offend the many people who make this board such an amazing community.

People like have an arrogant mindset not fit on a forum with many people of multiple religions.

Now this thread started with the simple intention to ask a question and is now strayed far from what it was meant to be.
Local Mods : can you close this thread before anyone else is insulted.

XxChaosxX : I don't know if this will help you Chaos, but my uncle got married to a Catholic as he's Christian and they wanted to convert him, but he still got a Catholic wedding with his wife. I hope this helps in some way and I hope you and your fiance have a great and happy wedding.

iN008 :

Wasn't there not a someone here who asked a genuine question of importance that we should answer before we close the thread? I mean, the question was a good one and the poster should not be punished for the short and bitter flame war the rest of us turned this thread to be. So closing the thread would be unfair in my opinion.

Brigand : I did say to XxChaosxX that should would be best asking in the CC forum and rcarter did answer her question

Ok, let's try to get back on topic here....

But this makes me wonder, chaos...and I only skimmed through the thread because of how intense the thread became, but may I ask why is it important that you would be married under a priest/ordained minister? (and do let me know if you did explain this in another post)

iN008 :

Well yeah but... Okay, if you say so.

play4fun : The main thing that was important to her is that he has a relationship with the Catholic Priest at his school, and she was wondering if she can be married by him even though she isn't Catholic and was curious about the exact process of a Catholic marriage. Since she wants that person specifically to do it, she was wondering what issues there are with her situation. 

XxChaosxX : sorry that I got caught up in that. I was the instigator here, and I shouldn't have been since this was just a question regarding you. Hope the post I made in regards to what we did helps. But it really does depend on the priest. My wife's priest did this, but there were other Catholic Priests where we live that turned us down. This is something you will have to discuss with the person you want to perform your marriage. 

rcarter2 : It's okay. I'm actually glad you showed up.

After the horrible backlash that came from Txgangsta, I just decided to send an e-mail to Fr. Larry. So if the local mods want to close this it's okay. If I had known it was gonna initiate such a mean-spirited reaction from one of the members I wouldn't have even posted it in the first place. I just thought I'd try to find out about the rules and stuff before I talked to him since he's President of the school and he's really busy.

Anyway, anyone who wants to close this can. I don't want to be responsible for another flame war.

Thread closed per the request of the thread author, and to prevent further incredibly rude and condescending posts.