So I have this story I'm trying to work on that's supposed to have an anime-like feel to it. It's inspired by some anime I watched a few years ago. I do know I need to work on my descriptive writing, but hopefully it'll come with practice.

I'm going to post the first installment now and if there's any interest, I'll post more (since I can't post without replies anyway).

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Episode 1: Strange Occurrences

A boy who appeared to be in his mid teens walked along what was just your average city street one afternoon. The boy had short, dark blue hair that just reached to his ears with wild bangs that were messily scattered across his forehead. He had yellowish-brown eyes and wore a simple tan T-shirt and dark blue shorts. Over his right shoulder, there was some sort of black strap that came down diagonally, tying into one of the belt loops on the left side of his waist. He was thinking about how it was just another ordinary day in the city. The sun shone brightly and a slight breeze blew through his hair. It was nice to be in a time of peace.

Soon, however, this boy began to hear screams shortly off in the distance. He looked in the direction of the yells and saw some people frantically running. He was confused by all the panic and was wondering what was going on. After a few minutes, he found out, however. A monstrous beast approached. It was about ten feet tall and looked almost like some sort of small dinosaur or something of that nature.

What is that thing...?

He didn't have too much time for thinking, though, as the monster swung its large tail at him. He crossed his arms in front of his chest to protect himself, but was knocked back pretty far. The beast roared loudly and the boy began to get worried. He didn't know what to do, but his instincts told him to try to fight back. The creature swiped a clawed hand at him, but he was able to leap to the side and on top of a trashcan to dodge it. From the trashcan, he jumped towards the monster, planting a kick to the side of the head. The beast's head was pushed sideways a bit, but otherwise, it did not seem fazed.

I have to find something else to hit it with...

He took off as soon as he landed from his attack, eventually coming to a construction site. He saw a stack of cinderblocks and started picking them up and throwing them at the approaching monster. The first one hit and caused the creature to stop advancing. As the following projectiles came its way, the monster just swatted them aside.

"Fine then... I'll just smash one into you directly!" declared the boy, now seeming to be slightly annoyed.

He grabbed hold of a cinderblock and leapt towards the beast again. This time, however, the creature grabbed him in mid-air and threw him into the metal framework of the building being constructed. The beast roared out again before smashing into the framework, knocking over the metal beams. The boy was just barely able to muster up enough strength to roll out of the way of the collapsing structure. Before the monster could attack again, a feminine voice called out to it, "Stop right there!"

The boy looked over in the direction of the voice to see a girl, most likely in her late teens, with long, dark violet hair that was tied off into a ponytail. She had green eyes and was dressed in some sort of black bodysuit with light pieces of dark blue armor and shoulder guards over it. She successfully got the creature's attention and it swung its tail at her. She easily dodged the attack. It then tried to kick her. She held both hands out and caught the beast's foot, afterwards pushing it over so that the monster lost its balance and fell on its back. As he watched, the boy's eyes widened in amazement at the display of strength. She quickly leapt into the air towards the fallen monster, doing a front flip and holding out her hand. A katana formed in her hand out of seemingly nowhere as she approached the beast. She quickly sliced the blade through the creature's neck, killing it.

"Wow! That was amazing..." he remarked in awe.

Ignoring the compliment, the girl sharply asked, "Why were you trying to fight that thing???"

"Hey, it attacked me! What was I supposed to do?" he said in an attempt to defend his actions.

The girl pointed down the road and plainly stated, "You could have just run to safety..."

He shook his head. "I'm not the type to just run away. I stand up for myself and fight."

The violet haired warrior narrowed her eyes. "That's a good way to get yourself killed..."

He threw his arms up in protest. "Well, what about you? You obviously came here to fight it and it didn't even come after you at first."

"That's because I have the power to fight it. You don't."

Then he recalled the katana she seemed to magically summon. It intrigued him. "What was that power? It was incredible."

The warrior remained cold in her responses. "It's nothing you need to know."

He shrugged this off. "Well whatever... how about at least giving me your name? Mine is Max."

"That's also nothing you need to know," she told him, turning away from him as she spoke. She then began to walk off.

Max lifted a hand up and yelled, "Hey, wait a second! What's with you?"

She ignored him and continued off. He decided to follow her, but did so quietly so she wouldn't know it. When she reached her destination, it looked like some sort of school building. He just stayed at the perimeter of the area as she went inside. Curious about the place, he began to look around. Soon, he found a sign.

"Keikoku Keisei Academy?” he read. “I wonder what this place is all about..."

Meanwhile, inside the building, the girl was approached by a woman who appeared to be in her thirties. The woman had long brown hair that was slightly wavy and reached down to her lower back. She was dressed very professionally and appeared to be an instructor of some sort. The woman said to the girl, "Naomi, you're back fast. It must have been a weak one."

The girl, whose name apparently was Naomi replied, "It was. I told you it wouldn't be a problem."

The woman frowned slightly. "But still... you can't assume they'll all be like that. You could be needlessly putting your life in more danger that you have to if you don't be cautious and take backup with you."

"But I-“ Naomi hesitated but quickly regained her composure. “I understand, Miss Lehrer."

"Good."

After a brief pause, Naomi added, "By the way... I think you should know that there's most likely someone sneaking around outside the academy..."

The woman raised an eyebrow, slightly alarmed. "Oh?"

"I was followed back here," she explained.

The older woman did not appear pleased with this. "And you didn't do anything to lose your pursuer?"

Naomi dismissively indicated, "I detected that I was being followed... but I didn't detect any sort of threat."

Miss Lehrer just shook her head. "Once again, you get too confident and jump to conclusions. That's something you better work on, or it will be your downfall someday."

Back outside, Max soon found that he had company. He bumped into a young girl with long pink hair that split off into two tails that reached her lower back and curled up into little spirals at the very ends. She also had a similarly curled piece on either side of her forehead. Her eyes were blue and her face looked very cute and youthful. She was wearing some sort of odd uniform that consisted of a long, blue and white battle robe and navy boots. "And what do we have here, hmm? A spy, perhaps?" asked the girl.

Max stumbled back a bit, startled. "A spy? Me? No way!"

The pink-haired girl leaned closer, seeming to be inspecting Max. "Really? And why are you snooping around our little academy then?"

The blue-haired teen frowned. "I'm not snooping around. I just happened to find this place and decided to look around out of curiosity. I didn't know a place like this was here."

"A likely story... you mean to tell me that you just happened to stumble across this place today that you never knew of before?" Her doubt was very clear in her voice as she spoke.

Max was beginning to become annoyed with this nosy girl. "I don't usually come this way, but this time I did. It's not like this place is remote or anything, it's pretty easily accessible."

The girl then threw her arms down at her sides dramatically, fists balled up as she yelled, "I don't believe a word you say! Who sent you, spy?"

Max slammed his foot down, fed up now. "I told you, I'm not a spy! What's so special about this place that anyone would want to spy on it anyway?"

The girl folded her arms over her chest. "Ha! You think I'm going to fall for that? I'm not going to feed you any information."

The boy put his head in his hand. "Ugh... who the heck are you anyway?"

"I told you, I'm not going to feed you any information, spy!" she insisted.

"And I told you that I'm not a spy..."

"Liar!"

Max threw his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Fine... believe what you want. I'm out of here." With that, he walked off.

The girl shook her fist at him as he left. "Just be glad that I'm letting you off easy this time!" She puffed her cheeks and folded her arms in front of her chest and then headed inside of the building. Before she got very far, a familiar voice called to her.

"I suppose you met the one who followed me here, Alana..."

She turned to the sound of the voice, spotting Naomi. She then inquired, "Followed you? You mean you led that spy here! Are you conspiring against the academy, Naomi?!"

Unfazed, Naomi replied, "Calm down, bubble head... I doubt he was even a spy anyway... just some kid. It's nothing we have to be too greatly concerned about."

Alana put a finger to her cheek as she began thinking. "You know... he was kinda cute..." She then shook her head. "But I don't like him!"

Naomi shrugged. "It's not likely you'll be seeing him again anyway."

"What makes you say that?" Alana asked, tilting her head slightly.

"Knowing you, you probably scared him off enough so that he wouldn't ever think to come back here,” the violet-haired girl plainly stated.

Alana looked a bit embarrassed by that comment. She nervously scratched her head. "Well, I guess that's a good thing... we don't need intruders snooping around here anyway."

Without anything else being said, Naomi went off on her way and Alana did the same.

I can't really imagined anime character with description. I need to see a picture of the character, but I could imagined the monster. The story is good, but I really want to see it in manga form, but it can't be done.

You are really good at writing stories. I am really impressed. I used to write all the time, (reading your stories has made me want to begin writing again). And you really get the audience's attention. I love the detail. You set up your scene's very well. Like I said in the other thread, you make it so realistic. I can literally imagine everything in my head. How the characters look, the clothing they are wearing. I can imagine the scenery. I feel like I am having my own movie rolling in my imagination. That's really hard for anyone to do with me. If I can read something and literally imagine it, then that means you have are really good at writing. I am literally in awe.

I hope you will add to this story and the other one. I am waiting in anticipation to see how it all develops.

Mobouis1 :
SunflowerGaming :

Thanks for the feedback again. It's hard for me to properly describe characters sometimes especially when I'm going for the anime style... I'll just hafta keep practicing. Anywhere, here's some more of the story:

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Max sat alone in his bedroom thinking about the things he saw the other day. His room was somewhat messy and looked like any typical teenage boy's room. He had a fair collection of various games and comics, but what he saw was certainly reality, despite seeming like it came from one of those fictional works. He wondered what that thing that attacked him was and who that girl that saved him was. Both seemed like something surreal... he couldn't believe that such things actually existed in the real world. He also thought about the pink-haired girl he met as well. What was her problem? What was so special about that school that she got so upset because someone was wandering around outside? He found himself with far too many questions and no answers at all.

Something strange is going on and I want to figure out what...

He first decided to turn to a source he didn't often use: the news. Much to his surprise, there was absolutely no mention of yesterday's attack in any of the local newspapers. How could that be? Something like this should be all over the media. There's no way that no one else knew about it. There were witnesses... the people who ran away at the very least. Something seemed too fishy about this. He next decided to turn to a more familiar resource, the internet. He wanted to look up more information on that school. He knew that there was some connection between it and what happened yesterday. He searched on all the major search engines, but could not come up with any listing of the school at all. This made things seem even more suspicious.

"Is this school even legitimate?" he asked himself aloud.

He wondered if he could find a more official listing of some sort at the local library. More unfamiliar territory for him, but he had to try. He left his house and headed for the library. On the way there, he ran into a friend of his, a girl with shoulder-length green hair and brown eyes. She was dressed in a pretty, chartreuse dress.

"Hey, Emily," Max called out, his hand lifted in greeting.

She turned to him and smiled. "Hello there, Max. Where are you off to this morning?"

He rubbed the back of his head, somewhat nervously. “Er... well... actually, the library..."

She was obviously surprised to hear this. "The library? You? I didn't think you were the studious type."

"I'm just coming here because I'm not sure where else to look for what I'm looking for."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "I see. Well, I have to return a book anyway. We can walk there together."

"Sure."

She smiled again and walked with him to the library. Max started looking through some of the books there while Emily returned hers. After she was done, she found him again.

Though Emily was not the type to pry into other people’s business, she found it hard to fight her curiosity on the matter. Max at a library was a very rare sight. "What are you looking for, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Information," was the curt reply.

She tilted her head quizzically. "Information about what?"

Max turned to her, a serious expression upon his face. "You might think I'm crazy... but I saw some strange things yesterday. There was some weird monster attacking the town and the some girl with a sword came and killed it. The odd thing is there's no record of anything happening at all anywhere."

Emily laid a finger to the side of her mouth as she contemplated this. "That does sound strange. There was nothing about it on the news last night or this morning."

"Or in the newspapers,” Max added. “But I know I wasn't imagining things. I followed the girl back to some kind of school building... it was a school I never heard of before. I looked them up, but couldn't find any information. It's not even listed as a community resource here either. I have a strange feeling that this school is connected to whatever is going on and the fact that documentation on it is as non-existent as news about what happened... that just adds to suspicion."

Emily lightly grabbed his arm with both her hands and looked straight at him with her warm and gentle eyes. "I don't think you're crazy, Max... but I think it's best if you forget about this school. The fact that you can't find any information probably means that you're just not meant to."

Max paused for a moment, taking in her unexpected words. "Do you know something...?"

She smiled at him. "You've been scouring information all day and couldn't find a single thing... what could I possibly just happen to know?"

"I guess you have a point..." He sighed, becoming frustrated at the futility of his search.

Emily lightly patted him on the shoulder. "Now, I'm sorry to have to leave so quickly, but I have to get ready for work."

Max’s tone changed as he recalled this information. "Oh, that's right... you took on a summer job, didn't you?" She nodded so he told her, "Well, don't let me hold you up. We can always talk again another time."

"Yes. I'll see you around." She smiled and waved and he casually waved back as she left. Despite Emily's words, the situation bugged him too greatly and he had to find out more information. He decided that he would just have to go to the source.

He headed back to the academy itself. Once he arrived, he went right inside, but was stopped by Miss Lehrer. "May I help you, young man?"

Not expecting this, he tried his best to make up an excuse. "Huh? I was actually going to just go to the reception desk to get some information..."

She looked over to the reception desk, but it was unattended. "Unfortunately, it appears that the receptionist is currently on her lunch break, but maybe I can tell you what you need to know. I'm an instructor here, Miss Shannon Lehrer."

Max: "Leh... Ler... Lair... that's a difficult name to pronounce..."

He scratched his head nervously. She smiled at him, chuckling a bit. "My family is from a country far from here, so I'm used to hearing that. Miss Shannon will be fine if it's easier for you."

"Right... uh... anyway, I guess I just wanted to know what the deal with this school is. I never heard of it before," Max admitted, deciding to get straight to the point.

"Ah... well, Keikoku Keisei Academy is simply an all-girl private school. Unfortunately, there's nothing for you here... unless you have a female relative who is seeking enrollment," she told him rather bluntly.

This might be more difficult than he thought. At least she was answering his questions, though. He decided to press further. "Well... no... but I have to ask about something that seemed a bit strange to me..."

“Oh? What would that be?"

Recalling the events from last night, he explained, "Well, the other day when I first saw this place, I ran into this pretty eccentric, pink-hair girl that seemed pretty intent on chasing me away... called me a spy even..."

Miss Lehrer chuckled again. "That would have to be our darling Alana... she probably felt threatened, seeing a boy around, and started jumping to wild conclusions. She's a sweet girl, but she has a bit of an over-active imagination."

Max was still skeptical of this behavior. "What's the harm in me being on the premises? This being an all-girl school just means that you'd keep me from enrolling."

The instructor’s tone became sterner. There was no doubt she was a teacher with how she spoke to Max. "Well, to be fair... you shouldn't just wander around a place unless you have some business there. In an all-girl school, the girls tend to enjoy the comfort of more... freedom... than they would if there were male students around. If you just went as you pleased around here, you would be disrupting that."

"Eh... I guess... but it still seems strange." It was hard for Max to argue with this. It seemed like sound logic. He wanted to mention the monster from yesterday and the girl who stopped it that he knew went here, but he didn't know how to bring any of that up. If he was blunt about it, it would probably just be denied. He then thought of something else. "Say... do you have a student here by the name of Emily Verde?"

"I'm sorry, but student information can only be disclosed to authorized individuals," she explained.

Well he struck out there. Though, something quickly occurred to him. "But you told me that other girl's name and I didn't even ask!"

"That was different context," she said, unyielding.

"It's obvious you're hiding something! I saw a girl perform extraordinary feats and that same girl came right to this place." He was becoming angry again and in his anger was no longer really thinking about his words. He just blurted out whatever came to him.

The teacher shook her head in response. "My, my... I suppose children your age are just prone to over-active imaginations. I must get ready for the next class now. If you are going to cause a disturbance here, I'm afraid I'll have to have you escorted out."

Max clenched his fist angrily. "Don't bother. I can find the door fine."

He turned and left, not at all satisfied by the results of what he learned. He was going to have to go on the off-chance that Emily indeed was a student there and try to pressure some information out of her. He decided this would be his plan for when he saw her next.

crazy li, it's really exciting to see someone that writes as much as I do.  I think what you're doing is great, and I love the fact that most of the grammar is okay. XD Keep up the good work, okay?

Thanks for the kind words, Singelli. I might as well post part 3 now:

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Episode 3: The Secret Society

Max made his way over to Emily's house, intent on finding information. When he knocked on the door, she promptly answered it, appearing a bit surprised at first to see him, but then she gave him a warm smile. "Max? You don't stop by that often these days."

"I just figured we could hang out for a while and talk about some stuff," told her, trying to sound casual.

"Oh? This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with yesterday at the library, would it...?" Emily asked him.

It looked like she saw right through him, but he had to bluff. "Why would you ask something like that?"

"Er... it's nothing... never mind. Please, do come in and sit down," she invited, giving up on that line of discussion.

Max followed Emily into the living room, where they both took seats. Max wasted no time in asking her, "Say, Emily... you wouldn't happen to have heard of a Keikoku Keisei Academy, would you?"

Her eyes widened a bit as she heard him mention the name. "Me? No... it doesn't ring a bell at all."

Max put his hand on Emily's shoulder and leaned forward. "Now, Emily... we've known each other since we were kids. I can tell when you're lying to me." She just turned her head away, not saying anything. Max decided to fill the silence himself. "I happen to know that you're a student there. I also know that it's an all-girl school, but there's more to it than that, isn’t there?"

"I... it... it's nothing you need to know about..." Emily stammered, clearly unsure of what to say in the situation.

Feeling victorious, Max thought to himself, I guess my gamble here is paying off. He sat back again, relaxing as he spoke again."What's the big deal? I thought we were friends... what's there to hide from me?"

"You wouldn't understand it..." she tried to explain.

What Max didn’t understand is what the difficultly was with just telling him. "Understand what?” he asked. “Have you joined a cult or something...?"

"No!"

"Well, what do you expect me to think? You're going to this strange school with no records anywhere. It doesn't sound like it's official or anything. They're super-secretive and you won't tell me a thing. I'm worrying about you, Emily. I don't want you to be involved with something bad." A look of concern took over Max’s face as he told her this.

Emily lowered her head, her voice shrinking to almost a whisper. "It's not bad... the goal is very much the opposite."

Now Max became more curious. "Goal? What's the goal?"

"Please... don't ask me about this. I'm not supposed to tell anyone," she pleaded.

Max shook his head. "Even me? That's what makes it suspicious... they're trying to turn people against their own friends?"

"It's not like that! I knew you wouldn't understand..." The frustration was clear in Emily’s pained expression as she spoke now.

Max seemed equally frustrated as his voice raised. "Well, I can't understand anything if you don't tell me anything!"

Emily tried to reassure him. "With this academy... I could help my friends... I could help you. I would never be against you, Max..."

Max was confused by this statement, though. "Help me? How? What are you talking about?"

"I could become stronger..." Emily told him.

"Stronger?"

She explained, "Ever since we were young, you always stood up for me... you protected me... you fought for me. I'm sure you got hurt a lot because of me. I could never really defend myself or anything. This year, I finally decided that I couldn't stand that any longer. I wanted to at least be able to defend myself so I wouldn't need to trouble you all the time. That's why... when I found out about the academy... I knew I had found my answer."

Max listened carefully to her explanation and told her, “That's sweet... but I didn't mind doing all those things for you. You're my friend and that's what friends are for, right? You shouldn't feel like you have to repay me or anything..."

"But-" He cut her off. "Besides... it's not like there's a good chance I'll need someone to protect me. I take care of myself pretty well."

Emily’s eyes slowly shifted around the room as she spoke. She had trouble looking directly look at Max. "Well... at the academy, I learned of threats greater than what any normal person would be able to handle... but with the secrets of the academy I might actually be able to stand up to these things and protect you from them."

Max began to think back to the monster that attacked him a couple of days ago and the mysterious girl who killed it. He could never imagine Emily doing a thing like that. She was far too peaceful to be fighting. Could she really be turned into some sort of super warrior?

Emily then continued, "But uh... please don't speak of these things to anyone, okay? Promise me."

Max waved his hand, dismissively. "Don't worry... I won't bother telling anyone about it."

The green-haired girl let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She then glanced over at her clock and looked shocked. "Oh my, the time! I need to get to work!"

"I'll walk you there," offered Max.

"But I have to hurry," the girl pointed out.

"Emily... I can run way faster than you. Even if you rush, I'll easily keep up," he noted. She decided not to waste anymore time discussing this and instead, just grabbed her things and left. Max accompanied her on her way there. He still was trying to imagine her skillfully dodging attacks and pulling out swords to slice apart monsters. It just didn't suit her at all. Either way, it seems he got his information. This was a school that trained warriors. But why female warriors specifically?

Emily worked in a pastry shop, helping to prepare the baked goods and set them on display. She was a pretty good baker, so it was a good job for her to take. Max decided to hang out in the shop for a while, looking at all the delicious sweets. It wasn't long after they had arrived that Emily was carrying out a tray stacked high with a tower of brownies. She was about to take it to the counter when she tripped. "Oh no!" she cried out.

Time seemed to slow down as she watched the brownies fly off of the dropped tray, heading for the ground. All of the hard work put into making them would be wasted. But just then, in the blink of an eye, she saw the brownies reassemble themselves back onto the tray, just barely avoiding their meeting with the ground. She got back up and saw Max holding the tray.

"Now you can't be tripping over yourself if you're going to be fighting monsters, Emily..." Max teased.

Emily waves her hands around frantically. "Shhh! Don't mention that!"

The boy’s expression turned apologetic. "Oh... right... sorry." He then handed the tray over to her and she properly set it down.

As this was occurring, Naomi sat on a bench in a park on the other side of town. This time, she was dressed casually in a violet T-shirt and black slacks. She had intended upon just relaxing for a while, but she soon heard noises that made her feel uneasy. She got up and approached the strange sounds. Eventually, she could see a giant bug-like creature.

Just as I thought... another fiend. Well, it's close enough, so I guess I should take care of it.

She put her hands together and began to focus as a violet light surrounded her. As the light faded, she could be seen in her battle attire from when she defeated the monster that had attacked just a couple days ago. She ran towards the monster, but stopped upon seeing a familiar face. "Alana?"

Indeed, it was Alana dressed in an outfit similar to Naomi's, but the bodysuit was navy and the armor pieces were silver, shining magnificently. The bug leapt at her, but she jumped to the side, avoiding it. She turned to face it, holding out her hand as a silver rapier formed in it. The bug creature charged at her, but she simply jumped over it, striking the rapier down onto it as she landed on it. It let out a screech and shook its body violently, tossing her off. She managed to land gracefully a few feet from the monster and dashed at it, thrusting the rapier forward for another attack. The creature retaliated by ramming its head into Alana, knocking her back a bit, but she was able to remain on her feet.

"That's it... time to get rid of you for good!" she declared. She slowly began to draw her rapier back as her eyes focused intensely on her foe.

I hope this works...

In a flash, she quickly dashed towards the monster again, pushing her hand forward and yelling, "Piercing Light!"

A bright white flash formed at the meeting of her weapon and her enemy. The light seemed to pass through the body of the creature until it faded. A few seconds after the light was no more, the monster dropped to the ground lifelessly. Alana smiled, proud of her work.

"Not bad for an amateur..." Naomi commented on the display as she ran her hair through her long, violet hair.

Alana turned around, not aware that Naomi was in the area. "Where did you come from?"

"Well, I was nearby and when I found that fiend here, I was prepared to take it on. It looks like you did just fine on your own, though," she explained.

Alana nodded. "I've been working hard, trying to get that move down. I knew it would pay off some day."

Naomi looked around the area and then back at Alana. "Yeah... but if this keeps up; we're going to need a lot more than just that."

"What do you mean?" Alana asked, confused.

Naomi began to break her point of view down for Alana. "Well, think about it... when you first joined the academy, fiends were pretty much non-existent, right?"

"Yeah... I never saw a random attack like this before that. It was through the academy that I even learned of the existence of fiends," agreed the rapier-wielder.

Naomi continued her point. "But now all of a sudden, they're starting to show up again... I say it's too frequent to just be a coincidence. It's likely that they'll just keep showing up like this. I think our time of peace has come to an end."

Alana pondered this for a moment before responding. "I guess we'll see the results of our training and preparation soon if that's true..."

Naomi nodded. "Yes... this is what we're being taught to do after all."

Alana lifted her index finger thoughtfully. "I think we should we should talk to the instructors at the academy about this, though... see what they think about the recent attacks. Maybe they'll have a better idea of what to do."

Naomi shrugged. "Maybe... I guess it can't hurt to get their advice at least."

With the decision being made, Naomi and Alana headed to the academy.

I read your first installment, but not the next two.  I enjoyed the basic gist of it, but it did seem to move a bit fast.  I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing because I know lots of people don't like to read details.

One thing that I noticed with the first installment though, was that you spent a lot of time writing short descriptions on actions, but there wasn't much said about the characters' thoughts, feelings, or motivations. You know how you stated that mine have details around the dialogues and you struggle with that?

Well, I'm not used to anime style writing, but maybe you can try adding a few emotions along with descriptions of the scenario.  For example, if the monster was purple, you could say something like "As Max talked to the strange girl, he couldn't help but look over at the bright purple scales of the tremendous beast.  "Bla bla bla," he said, trying to tear his eyes away."

I don't know if that helps or not, but I hope it does.  

Anyways, keep going, and good job!

Singelli : Thanks for the advice. I'll try to work more on that. Maybe I'll improve as I go along, but hopefully I also don't lose focus on that >.>

Anyway, here's the next installment I typed up today...

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Episode 4: Having Faith in Others

Max and Emily walked into a bank. "Thank you for accompanying me here. I'm sure you had better things you could be doing," she said to him.

Max shrugged. "Well, the way I see it, you would keep putting this off otherwise."

"Er..." Emily appeared slightly embarrassed by this comment.

"I mean, really... what's the point of having a job if you ain’t gonna to have a way to save your money? Even I think like that, and I ain’t even a responsible person," Max pointed out, laughing at his own comment.

Emily began to think about this comment to herself. But you actually can be responsible when it's important, Max... you just like to act like an irresponsible joker for some reason...

As Emily was about to get her turn to speak with one of the bank's representatives, there was suddenly a lot of commotion in the bank. Max looked around to see a trio of masked men carrying guns.

Oh great... don't tell me the bank's being held up...

One of the masked men yelled out, "Hands up! Nobody move or do anything other than what I say unless you wanna get hurt."

Max turned to Emily and began whispering to her. "Hey, Emily... you've got some kind of crazy power, right? You could probably stop these guys."

Emily took on a nervous tone in her voice. "I-I couldn't do that... they're regular people. I can't use my powers on them. Killing monsters is one thing, but this...?"

What ever happened to wanting to protect people? Max thought. "Ugh, fine... I'll do something, then."

Emily’s eyes widened in shock. "Wait, Max! No!" Why does he always rush into situations without thinking? This could be the time he really pays for it...

Max casually walked up to one of the criminals. The robber turned to him, a bit confused, but soon drew his gun on Max. "Stay back, kid!" the burglar ordered.

Ignoring this, Max said to him, "Hmm... nice gun you've got there... my old man's got one just like it."

"That's nice, kid, but if you take another step, I'm going to use this on ya," he said, waving the gun around a bit.

Max smirked. "Oh really? Well, I think you're going to find that's hard to do..." The criminal looked at him questioningly, but before he could do anything, Max quickly kicked the gun out of his hand. "Because you're not even holding it!"

The robber was shocked, but before he could make another move, Max tackled him to the ground, lifting his fist in the air to punch him. Before he could bring it down to strike his foe, another voice called out to him, "I wouldn't try that if I were you, kid..."

Max looked over his shoulder to see the other two criminals pointing their guns at him now. They prepared to fire, but before they could, what looked like some sort of arrow of energy sped across their hands, causing them to drop their weapons.

"Ah! Sorry! I hope I didn't hurt you..." came Emily’s voice after this occurred.

Ugh... Emily... why are you apologizing?

Max decided not to spend time thinking about that, but instead made a mad dash to gather up the three discarded guns. He completely emptied the chamber of one of the guns before facing the bank robbers. "I can't really hold three guns at once, so..." He tossed one of the guns away and then pointed the other two at the criminals before him.

"You're really going to try to shoot those?" asked one of the robbers.

"Like I said... they're just like my old man's... he showed me how to use them before," he said with a cock of the barrel.

They started to look worried, but one of the robbers ran towards the gun Max threw aside. Max just watched him. "What a fool! Gave up this weapon for me to use on you!" he exclaimed as he picked it up. He quickly aimed it at Max and pulled the trigger. Unfortunately for the criminal, the gun was empty and nothing happened after several attempts to fire it.

Max raised an eyebrow. "Do I really look that stupid to you...?"

The bank robbers started to back away towards the entrance of the bank when they ran into the police, who had just arrived on the scene. Max promptly handed over the guns to the officers and after finally getting away from all the people giving him thanks and praise for his heroic antics, he was outside again with Emily.

"That was amazing, Max!" she said to him, her eyes shining with awe.

Max scratched the back of his head. "Yeah... I've heard that a lot in the past five minutes..."

Emily looked at the ground, shuffling her feet a bit. "Sorry... it's just... I have powers to fight now and didn't do anything, but you don't even have any special powers and still risked your life just to stop all those people from being robbed."

Max shook his head. "That's not completely true... I got myself into a pretty bad situation there where I would have been dead, but something caused those guys to drop their guns... that was you, wasn’t it?"

The green-haired girl looked away. "Well..."

Max patted Emily on the shoulder. "So you did do something when it counted... and you protected me which is why you wanted those powers to begin with, right?"

She looked back up at him finally. "I guess you're right about that..."

"See? Without you, I would have been a goner. So thanks."

"No, thank you," she said with a smile.

"But I'm kinda surprised..."

She tilted her head. "Oh?"

"I'd expect you to be yelling at me for being stupid and trying to take them on... I could have gotten killed and it's something the police just could have handled. Also, they were just robbing people... there wasn't necessarily any lives in danger," he explained.

Emily looked shocked. "But if you knew all that... why did you do that???"

Max smirked. "I believe in you, Emily. I knew you weren't going to let anything happen to me. That's what you wanted, right?"

Emily blinked. "You… really trusted me that much...? You trusted me with your life?"

"You've always trusted me like that, haven't you?" Max asked with a slight shrug.

"Well, yeah..."

"So what's wrong with me believing in you?"

"But..."

The blue-haired boy looked his friend in the eyes. "I know you probably don't even have that kind of confidence in yourself yet, but what happened today should tell you something. And if I can believe in you like I do, you should learn to believe in yourself as well. Then you can accomplish whatever you set forth to do."

Emily didn't say anything in response, but just began to think over what happened today and what Max had just said to her.

Max then spoke up again. "Anyway, I better head back home now. Catch you around, Emily!" He waved as he started off and she waved back.

Thank you, Max... I don't know what I would do without you...