Ryan just wanted to fit in with the cool kids, he just wanted to be accepted, so when he overheard them talking about visiting an abandoned house on Halloween, he budded in and said, "that sounds fun! Can I come." The leader of the group john turned around and said, "what are you doing listening in on our conversation loser?" "sorry, you guys were talking kind of loud and when I heard haunted house, I got excited." "sorry, no losers aloud" said Len, another member of the group. Hold on Len, said John. If we let you tag along with us, you have to promise you'll go into the house first, or else, no way." Ryan mumbled, then blurted,"ok! Fine! Ill go first, but you guys have to be right behind me" "Obviously" Len said, rolling his eyes.

The bell rang to get to class, so Ryan started walking to class. "Where are you going? said Tom, another member. If you want to hang out with us, you have to do what we do. Were going to check out the house while it's light out so we know what to expect. You didn't think you were gunna be in our group by going to class every day, did you?" "N-no, no, of course not. So where is this house?" "Its over by where Len lives. Were heading there now, let's go.

So Ryan was not only hanging out with the cool kids, but he was skipping class with them. He had never felt more accepted in his entire life. On the way, he was victim to several pranks, such as having someone bend down behind him, while the person in front pushed him over, and having the back of his knees kicked so he would fall over. Ryan was fine with it. He expected that it would be this way, just a part of his initiation.

Were stopping at Len's house first to rest and use the bathroom and stuff, you can wait outside", said John, causing the guys to laugh. They walked up Len's steps and then everyone ran inside, locking the door behind them so that Ryan was locked outside. He could hear them laughing at him, so he sat on the chair on Len's porch for a minute until someone opened the door.

It was Mark, the guy who hadn't said anything to whole time. "You can come in, they were just joking." "Thanks Mar-" "This doesn't mean we're friends, I just felt bad for you. Just take your shoes off and sit down. The bathroom is over there if you need it." "OK." "Who let him in?" barked Len. "I did, I felt bad for him." replied Mark. "Whatever." replied Len, as he pick up a pillow to hit Ryan in the head with. Ryan put his hands over his head, shielding his face especially, as Len hit him repeatedly with the pillow. Soon John and Tom joined in until Ryan got up and quickly backed away form them. "OK, enough, its starting to hurt" shouted Ryan. "HAHAHA, good!" said Len, while he and the others were laughing. Ryan stood in the corner and watched as John, Tom and Len got into a pillow war that lasted until Tom was on the ground being hit with the pillows repeatedly by John and Len. "OK, you win!" shouted Tom. The guys rested for a little while, then John said, "OK, let's go check this house out now.

So the guys grabbed their bags and followed Len to the abandoned house. The house was all wooden, with a few cracked floorboards and a rap-around porch. "Wow! It's really old. It looks like it could fall over any second!", said Tom. "OK, so if we can't get through the front door, we can climb through this broken window on this side", said Mark, pointing to the window with bits of broken glass around the frame. "It looks creepy!" stated Ryan. "You're not gunna chicken out on us now are you? barked Len. Remember, you said you would go first." "No, I'm fine, I'll go first like I said I would, I'm not scared", said Ryan. "Good, then we'll meet up in front of Len's house tomorrow at 10p.m., got it?", asked John. "OK", the rest replied. So everyone walked home, excited about what adventures tomorrow night would bring, being Halloween and all.

Ryan couldn't sleep that night. All he could think about was what was inside that house. During school, Ryan's imagination was running wild, and he was beginning to regret saying he would go first. He worried that the guys would leave him in the house, or he would be attacked, or a ghost lived in there or something. He knew it was way too late to back out though.

Before he knew it, it was 9:30p.m. and he was getting ready to go to Len's house. He had a flashlight with a new battery, some garlic, in case a vampire lived there and a cross around his neck to keep him safe from evil spirits. When he got to Len's the others were waiting outside. "You're here. Did you bring a flashlight?" asked Tom. "Ya, right here." Ryan replied, showing it to them. "OK, let's go now." said John.

So the guys walked to the house. It looked a lot spookier at night time. "Go!" said Len, pushing Ryan towards the steps. Ryan was sweating as he walked up the creepy steps to the front door. He tried opening it, but it was locked. "It's locked. Ryan whispered. I guess I have to go through the broken window".

This was exactly what Ryan did not want to do. "Come on!" he whispered loudly, waving his hand for them to follow. The guys walked around the corner as Ryan lead the way. The porch was creaky which made them all uneasy, especially Ryan, who was going first. CRACK! "AHH!" *GASP* "WHAT!" "The floorboard broke when I stepped on it!" whispered Tom loudly. "SHHHH" the rest said.
"GUYS, I'm at the window!" said Ryan in a low voice as he flicked on his flashlight. It's too dark to see inside." "Go in" whispered John, who was right behind him. "OK." Ryan's heart was racing faster than ever before as he was climbing through the broken window. "It's so dark! I can't see anything in here!" whispered Ryan from inside the window frame. "I went first, now it's your guys turns." "I'm not going next." they all said at the same time. *sigh* "Fine, I'll go next, shine your light so I don't hurt myself." Mark said reluctantly. He climbed in through the window frame, then Len, John and Tom followed. The guys were all very scared and were breathing heavily. Ryan said "I'm going this way" as he pointed with his flashlight.

He took a few steps and then CCCCRRRRAAACCCCKKKK!!!! "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *thud* "WHAT HAPPENED!?!" the rest shouted. "I fell through the floor! I think I'm in the basement!... It smells like rotten something down here. Throw down a flashlight, I think mine broke." Ryan mumbled, terrified. Mark threw down his flashlight and Ryan caught it. As Ryan flashed the light around the room he was in, he realized he had fallen on bags of soil. Ryan started walking around the room, searching for the stairs when suddenly, he began to fall down what felt like stairs.

*smash* *bang* *crash* *thud* "YOU OK?!" the guys shouted. "I think so" Ryan shouted back. Fortunately, he was able to keep a hold of his flashlight this time. Unfortunately, the smell of rotten had gotten a lot stronger. As Ryan stood up and flashed his light around, he realized he was in a morgue. He could hear moaning, so Ryan started to scream and rush up the stairs, while screaming "HELP!!! HHHEEELLLPP!!!!" When the guys heard this, they screamed, jumped out the window and ran away.

Ryan ran to the to of the stairs with his adrenaline pumping and then *WHACK*, he hit a closed door. He scrambled to find the door knob, but the door was locked. He turned to find another way out when something grabbed his leg and started pulling him back down the stairs. He fought off the something and ran through the room. He found a small window leading to outside. He opened the window as fast as he could and ripped out the screen.

At this point, the moaning was very loud, and coming from all around him. He pulled himself halfway through the window when something grabbed his leg! He was kicking furiously to knock the grip loose. Then something grabbed his other leg. Ryan was struggling to get his legs free when something grabbed his arms. IT WAS MARK! "HELP! SOMETHINGS GRABBING MY LEGS!" Mark pulled as hard as he could, while Ryan was kicking furiously. Mark managed to pull Ryan through the window.

They ran away as fast as they could! Although Ryan lost his shoes, he was happy to be alive. They ran to Len's house and smashed on the front door. Len opened the door and shouted "OMG RYAN! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Tom and John ran to the door. "OMG RYAN! WHAT HAPPENED!?" they shouted. "I FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND THEN THE DOOR LOCKED BEHIND ME AND IT SMELLED LIKE ROTTEN AND THEN THERE WAS MOANING AND THEN SOMETHING GRABBED ME BUT I FOUGHT IT OFF AND THEN I CLIMBED THROUGH THE WINDOW AND SOMETHING GRABBED MY LEGS BUT MARK SAVED ME AND I LOST MY SHOES AND I JUST WANT TO GO HOME!!!" Ryan shouted in one breath. They all hugged Ryan and then Len said "You can have these shoes, they're my favourite, but, they're yours now." John added, "OMG I'M SOO SORRY! WE'RE SOO SORRY! WE'RE JUST GLAD YOU'RE OK... and you are automatically cool in my books. Mad respect man." "Ya man, mad respect." Tom added, offering to shake Ryan's hand.

They talked about how cool of a story it would be, but agreed that it would be best to never speak of it again. Since that day, Ryan was one of the most popular kids in school, and was best friends with Mark. Ryan learned that it's not about who is the most popular, but who's there for you when you need them the most. Being popular sure is nice though. THE END.

I wouldn't take my time to read over this. Although, I am sure this is such a wonderful story.

Great story. I really liked it, but how old are the kids? If I were to guess from the context, I would say probably middle school age, but I'm curious to know.

ProGamer135 : Come on dude. Not only is that a pointless spam post, it's also incredibly rude.

There is no middle school here in my city, as far as I am aware if. So I was aiming for grade 9, which is the first year of high school. That also tends to be the time when kids do the most stupid of things so I figured the timing seemed accurate.

Keep in mind that I wrote this story off the top of my head in a hour in a half to help someone out with a school assignment. I did not put a large amount of effort towards writing this, it was more of a write whatever comes to mind kind of thing. I usually take a lot more time to get into my story. Also, when I wrote this, I could not include swearing and drug use when writing. Those two topics tend to be involved in the stories that I write outside of the stories I share with people so it was a little tricky for me to write cleanly.

Does the name Ehza sound familiar?

scary?????? not to me

I like it, it's a good story, but there are a few problems. First, some of the grammar is kinda weird. It just seems like there are periods where they don't need to be, but some sentences run on, and sometimes when people speak there aren't quotations, that kind of thing. Secondly, the whole story seems kind of rushed. You could've made that twice as long, and I think it would've made it a lot better. Lastly, there is no build up. I mean, yes it does mention a "haunted house", but there really isn't anything creepy until the last 2 paragraphs, and then it just suddenly ends. It really has to build up like, "All the sudden, there was a quiet moan. We were all creeped out, but we kept exploring through the house" or "I was sure that we weren't alone by now, but I couldn't back out and make a fool of myself". I think that would make it an excellent scary story.

This story was written on a whim in 2 hours off the top of my head.

I appreciate your honest critique. I wrote this a few years ago. My writing skills have since increased. I did not edit this before submitting it to this site, although I probably should have.

Great story! It got me especially interested because my name is Ryan. I like the story, but there should be a few tweaks. All of the "cool kids" except for Mark had a HUUUGE character change at the end, which didn't make much sense. Also, instead of "OMG!" You should've put "Oh my god!" Or as I prefer, "Oh my gosh!" You also could've used more adjectives and adverbs to make it more "colorful". I know that you made this from the top of your head in two hours, but you should've edited it a bit. Anyways, It's a great story! I liked Mark's character .  You should make a sequel!