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Long Distance or Not?

 

06-12-12 02:19 PM
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I am in a relationship right now and high school has ended.  We are going to start college in the fall, but we are going to different colleges.  I am going to college in Texas and she is going to college in Tennessee.  I told her that I would only go for a year and continue going to college in Tennessee to be with her.  I am afraid about this because I do not want to lose her if we have to be apart for a year.  What do you think I should do about it? I would like to move back to Tennessee and be with her and go to college at the same time, but I would need a job and money to take care of myself.  Should I stay in Texas for a year of college and move back to Tennessee when I finish, or stay in Tennessee and go to college there and be with my girlfriend, but would need to get a license and a job?  I love her to death and I am worried that she won't love me anymore while I am away.

I am in a relationship right now and high school has ended.  We are going to start college in the fall, but we are going to different colleges.  I am going to college in Texas and she is going to college in Tennessee.  I told her that I would only go for a year and continue going to college in Tennessee to be with her.  I am afraid about this because I do not want to lose her if we have to be apart for a year.  What do you think I should do about it? I would like to move back to Tennessee and be with her and go to college at the same time, but I would need a job and money to take care of myself.  Should I stay in Texas for a year of college and move back to Tennessee when I finish, or stay in Tennessee and go to college there and be with my girlfriend, but would need to get a license and a job?  I love her to death and I am worried that she won't love me anymore while I am away.

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06-12-12 03:55 PM
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I don't know. Maybe you should pick a time where you both are off (you DO have breaks in colleges right) and take that time to possibly meet somewhere and spend brief time together face to face. Catch up on good times. 





I don't know. Maybe you should pick a time where you both are off (you DO have breaks in colleges right) and take that time to possibly meet somewhere and spend brief time together face to face. Catch up on good times. 

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06-12-12 04:23 PM
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catfight09 : Yeah, that is what I was thinking.

catfight09 : Yeah, that is what I was thinking.

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06-14-12 05:55 AM
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I think, if she loves you as much as you love her, then a year apart shouldn't make a difference.

I mean, you can still communicate via Skype/other forms of communication, and like catfight09 said, you can meet up with her occasionally during break times in college.

Going to Tennessee at the same time as her would be difficult for you, and as your girlfriend she should be understanding of that and want to make your life as easy as possible for you, and do what is best for you.
I think, if she loves you as much as you love her, then a year apart shouldn't make a difference.

I mean, you can still communicate via Skype/other forms of communication, and like catfight09 said, you can meet up with her occasionally during break times in college.

Going to Tennessee at the same time as her would be difficult for you, and as your girlfriend she should be understanding of that and want to make your life as easy as possible for you, and do what is best for you.

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06-14-12 06:12 AM
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As someone in a long distance relationship (I'm in New Hampshire, she's in Oregon in college) I can say these CAN work, but only if both parties are trusting and faithful.

The only reason we aren't together is the place to stay issue.

I can't move to Oregon, since she doesn't have a place we would live in (she lives with her parents) and she can't come to New Hampshire till she finishes college.

She says she doesn't want to leave Oregon, which I'm fine with. But she'd need to find housing.

Anyway, point is these relationships can and do work. You just need to do your part.
As someone in a long distance relationship (I'm in New Hampshire, she's in Oregon in college) I can say these CAN work, but only if both parties are trusting and faithful.

The only reason we aren't together is the place to stay issue.

I can't move to Oregon, since she doesn't have a place we would live in (she lives with her parents) and she can't come to New Hampshire till she finishes college.

She says she doesn't want to leave Oregon, which I'm fine with. But she'd need to find housing.

Anyway, point is these relationships can and do work. You just need to do your part.

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06-14-12 07:34 PM
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Long distance relationships are bad. Just break up or take a break because when you reach the age of going to college, things start to change so fast. When you see each other after a year, you honestly might not even like each other anymore or you could have changed so much you're completely different people.
Try it if you want, just don't be upset if things change.
Long distance relationships are bad. Just break up or take a break because when you reach the age of going to college, things start to change so fast. When you see each other after a year, you honestly might not even like each other anymore or you could have changed so much you're completely different people.
Try it if you want, just don't be upset if things change.

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06-23-12 04:43 PM
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It honestly depends on the two of you. Do you think you could handle being away from her for a long time? When I start college back again this fall, I will only see my fiance on weekends and on breaks. Is it lonely to only see him on the weekends? Yeah, but we can handle it. It all depends on whether you two can handle it. You need to sit down and talk with her to find out the boundaries.

Also, if you two decide to try it out, you can always keep in touch over the phone, the internet, letters (if anyone even does that anymore) etc. I Skype my fiance every day while I'm away at college, and that helps to ease the strain of not seeing him all week. You guys will be apart for much longer, I realize, but if you're willing to try it, I believe you can do it. Just make sure you see each other on breaks, and you should be fine. 
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It honestly depends on the two of you. Do you think you could handle being away from her for a long time? When I start college back again this fall, I will only see my fiance on weekends and on breaks. Is it lonely to only see him on the weekends? Yeah, but we can handle it. It all depends on whether you two can handle it. You need to sit down and talk with her to find out the boundaries.

Also, if you two decide to try it out, you can always keep in touch over the phone, the internet, letters (if anyone even does that anymore) etc. I Skype my fiance every day while I'm away at college, and that helps to ease the strain of not seeing him all week. You guys will be apart for much longer, I realize, but if you're willing to try it, I believe you can do it. Just make sure you see each other on breaks, and you should be fine. 

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06-23-12 04:46 PM
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my opinion - don't bother. Long distance works about 1% of the time in the long run. You're better off ending the relationship and moving on. It won't be easy but if it really was meant to be then you'll get back together later.
my opinion - don't bother. Long distance works about 1% of the time in the long run. You're better off ending the relationship and moving on. It won't be easy but if it really was meant to be then you'll get back together later.

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I don't know. I have been in a few long distance relationship's myself. They usually work out, until we grow apart. I mean, if you are one of those guys that always talks to his woman all the time, then you shouldn't have a problem. But if you guys don't talk that much, then I say enjoy the ride, and get back together when you can. That's just my opinion.
I don't know. I have been in a few long distance relationship's myself. They usually work out, until we grow apart. I mean, if you are one of those guys that always talks to his woman all the time, then you shouldn't have a problem. But if you guys don't talk that much, then I say enjoy the ride, and get back together when you can. That's just my opinion.


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06-28-12 04:57 PM
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It's difficult, but it's definitely possible. You both need to have the desire to make it work.

I am currently in a long-distance relationship and have been for the past year. At this point we haven't been together in person for five months, and will be apart for another three. At least you will be able to visit during breaks from school, and it will only be for a year.

I Skype with him every day. We keep in touch very closely through Skype and messaging. This is essential. It is definitely frustrating to be physically apart, but not so much that being together is not worth it.
It's difficult, but it's definitely possible. You both need to have the desire to make it work.

I am currently in a long-distance relationship and have been for the past year. At this point we haven't been together in person for five months, and will be apart for another three. At least you will be able to visit during breaks from school, and it will only be for a year.

I Skype with him every day. We keep in touch very closely through Skype and messaging. This is essential. It is definitely frustrating to be physically apart, but not so much that being together is not worth it.

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06-30-12 10:35 AM
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A year isn't really that bad, if you think about it. You could still talk to your girlfriend everyday if you wanted to while living in Texas.

Long distance relationships are not very easy, but they can still work(I'm in one right now, which is just a little over 6 months), but you can make them work.

I say go to college in Texas for a year if you really want to, and keep your girlfriend, then move back to Tennessee, like you said.
A year isn't really that bad, if you think about it. You could still talk to your girlfriend everyday if you wanted to while living in Texas.

Long distance relationships are not very easy, but they can still work(I'm in one right now, which is just a little over 6 months), but you can make them work.

I say go to college in Texas for a year if you really want to, and keep your girlfriend, then move back to Tennessee, like you said.

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I think if your mature enough to handle a long distance relationship then go for it. It takes a lot of commitment to make it last when you guys can't even see each other in real life.. Now days you can skype, but that's never really the same.
I think if your mature enough to handle a long distance relationship then go for it. It takes a lot of commitment to make it last when you guys can't even see each other in real life.. Now days you can skype, but that's never really the same.

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Marcmoney : If she loves you, it won't be hard to stay together even if you're at different colleges. It's honestly up to you. No one can tell you what to do. But I hope it all works out for you.
Marcmoney : If she loves you, it won't be hard to stay together even if you're at different colleges. It's honestly up to you. No one can tell you what to do. But I hope it all works out for you.

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Long distance well thats just up to you, but in my opinion i would never date a girl long distance because she could cheat and on top of all that i have to see her face.
Long distance well thats just up to you, but in my opinion i would never date a girl long distance because she could cheat and on top of all that i have to see her face.

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Annette : I thought you got married already.  You're living apart?

And to answer the question: I recommend breaking up with her.  People have no idea who they're going to be when they go to college.  You will meet so many new people, experience so many new things, and figure yourself out while you're away.  Changing things to be with a girl who may or may not be around in a few months or a year isn't worth risking your own life and future.  If you have somewhere to go and be successful, do that and make it happen.

If the relationship is meant to be, she'll be around when you're ready and when you have settled yourself.  She'll also do growing and she'll figure herself out.  The two of you may go in different directions as you continue your lives.  But I say stay apart.  It'll make you stronger if it works.  If it doesn't, it was never meant to be and you weren't held down by the idea of having a girlfriend several hundred miles away.

Good luck!


Annette : I thought you got married already.  You're living apart?

And to answer the question: I recommend breaking up with her.  People have no idea who they're going to be when they go to college.  You will meet so many new people, experience so many new things, and figure yourself out while you're away.  Changing things to be with a girl who may or may not be around in a few months or a year isn't worth risking your own life and future.  If you have somewhere to go and be successful, do that and make it happen.

If the relationship is meant to be, she'll be around when you're ready and when you have settled yourself.  She'll also do growing and she'll figure herself out.  The two of you may go in different directions as you continue your lives.  But I say stay apart.  It'll make you stronger if it works.  If it doesn't, it was never meant to be and you weren't held down by the idea of having a girlfriend several hundred miles away.

Good luck!



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Well if you truely love the girl, then you should do a long distance relationship. If you trust that she will be faithful (and that you will as well) then you should attempt the long distance relationship. If you have any doubts that you or she can be faithful, trust each other, or that the long distance relationship can work; then you shouldn't do the long distance relationship and find another solution even if that means you must break up with her. For me personally, I'm against long distance relationships but if I truely love the girl I'm with then I'll attempt the long distance relationship. I say good luck sir and wish the best of luck to both you and girl with whatever disision you make.
Well if you truely love the girl, then you should do a long distance relationship. If you trust that she will be faithful (and that you will as well) then you should attempt the long distance relationship. If you have any doubts that you or she can be faithful, trust each other, or that the long distance relationship can work; then you shouldn't do the long distance relationship and find another solution even if that means you must break up with her. For me personally, I'm against long distance relationships but if I truely love the girl I'm with then I'll attempt the long distance relationship. I say good luck sir and wish the best of luck to both you and girl with whatever disision you make.


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10-02-12 09:14 PM
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warmaker : I must have replied to this thread a while ago. Since I posted that, he came to Canada (right after I graduated college) and yes, we are married now.
warmaker : I must have replied to this thread a while ago. Since I posted that, he came to Canada (right after I graduated college) and yes, we are married now.

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It depends on you.  Are you loyal enough for that kind of comitment?  Do you trust your partner enough? If you can not answer these questions then the answer is no.  Self evaluate yourself.
It depends on you.  Are you loyal enough for that kind of comitment?  Do you trust your partner enough? If you can not answer these questions then the answer is no.  Self evaluate yourself.


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Well I'm going to agree with Pace on this one, I think it all depends on how one feels about stuff like that. One must be able to trust the other as well as being loyal to that commitment.
Well I'm going to agree with Pace on this one, I think it all depends on how one feels about stuff like that. One must be able to trust the other as well as being loyal to that commitment.

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I had a boyfriend, and he had to move away, but we barely dated so we didn't even bother long distance relationships.  He didn't even move that far away...  I think he went about 2 hours away?  It really does depend on your relationship though...
I had a boyfriend, and he had to move away, but we barely dated so we didn't even bother long distance relationships.  He didn't even move that far away...  I think he went about 2 hours away?  It really does depend on your relationship though...

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